Kiss of an Angel (37 page)

“Don’t thank us yet,” Mary warned gently. “Considering the delicacy of the situation, the board of Angel Superiors must vote on releasing you. Then
He
must give us his blessing. This is a very rare request, one that will change the course of fate, and must be thoroughly considered before a decision is made.”

“I understand,” she replied solemnly, trying not to get her hopes raised. Silently, she sent Him her own heartfelt appeal, praying he’d grant her and Johnny’s love the opportunity to flourish in a mortal lifetime.

“We’ll give you the board’s final verdict by the end of the week,” Christopher promised.

Five heavenly days never seemed so long to Amanda.

* * *

J.T. stood inside the corral, holding the end of the long lead rope clipped to King’s halter. With softly spoken words, he coaxed the horse in a wide circle, allowing the spirited stallion a minimal amount of control before he started the tedious breaking process. King’s blue-black coat gleamed in the sun, and he tossed his head rebelliously. J.T. knew his display was more an arrogant act than any real sign of a threat.

Every day J.T. worked with King, usually in the mornings after the hands rode out and Laura left for school. Spending time with the horse made him feel closer to Caitlan’s spirit. She’d left him with the special gift of King’s fragile trust. Now, it was up to him to hone that bond into something more. J.T. was determined to one day saddle and ride the stallion that had shown so much promise before Randal started abusing him.

Randal
. Anger welled in J.T. He still found it difficult to believe his own cousin had tried to kill him. Randal had admitted to everything. Open murder threats, even after Randal had been apprehended, combined with his murder attempt and arson, would land him years in prison. Even though it pained J.T. to see his cousin in such a position, he refused to compromise the safety of his family or his men. Pressing charges had been difficult, but his only choice. Randal had shown no remorse for his evil deeds, or for shooting Caitlan.

Familiar grief and anguish twisted J.T.’s insides. Two weeks had passed since Caitlan had left the Circle R never to return. Two weeks since he’d become nothing more than flesh and bones, his heart merely an instrument to pump blood. He was empty inside, more lonely and desolate than he could ever remember being.

Everyone believed she’d gone to County hospital, then flown back home to be with her family. J.T. knew better, but there were times when he caught himself believing the same thing ... hoping and wishing that she was a mortal and would return to the Circle R to live with him forever.

She was gone from this lifetime, and some days he didn’t think he’d survive the endless years until they were joined.

She’d told him the memory of her being on Earth and the pain of losing her would ease in time. With the medallion, everything remained sharp and clear, reassuring him that he hadn’t dreamed Caitlan’s brief existence—reassured him he wasn’t slowly going crazy.

Some days, he truly wondered.

King’s canter slowed and he whinnied soulfully, bringing J.T. out of his thoughts. Coming to a stop, the stallion’s ears pricked forward and he stared off into the distance. A gentle breeze blew around them, rustling the leaves in a nearby tree and scattering a warm, spring scent.

“What is it, boy?” J.T. slowly approached the horse. King glanced at him and whinnied again but didn’t shy away. Reaching up, J.T. stroked his hand down King’s sleek neck. “Good boy,” he murmured.

“You handle him well.”

J.T.’s hand froze in midstroke and his insides twisted into a huge knot of trepidation. Caitlan ... Amanda. Oh, God, now he was hearing her voice. J.T. clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut to ward off the sweet voice filtering through his mind.

The corral gate unlatched, and King started forward, neighing softly. The lead rope tugged in J.T.’s hand, and he dropped it, allowing the horse to roam freely.

“Hello, King,” came the feminine voice again, then light laughter that ribboned around J.T.’s soul. “I missed you too, boy,” she said.

Drawing in a deep breath to release the tension coiling his body, J.T. opened his eyes and turned, finding Caitlan—Amanda, he corrected himself—rubbing King’s muzzle just five short feet away from him. The horse nudged her hand affectionately, his eyes shining with devotion. J.T. stared at the two of them, the pressure in his chest increasing with each passing second. She looked so ... real.

She glanced his way, her violet eyes dancing mischievously. “Is something the matter, Johnny?” The laughter in her voice belied the concern creasing her brow. “You look as though you’ve seen a ... ghost.”

“Oh, God,” he choked, scrubbing a hand over his jaw. “I
am
going insane!”

A beautiful smile wreathed her face. “No, you’re not,” she said softly. Leaving King, she approached him. The breeze sifted through her silky brown hair, ruffling the strands like caressing fingers. Like
his
fingers itched to do. She stood in front of him, love and promises sparkling in the depth of her gaze.

He swallowed back the thickness in his throat, unable to believe she stood within touching distance. Curling his fingers into fists, he curbed the impulse to reach for her and haul her into his arms—to reaffirm that she wasn’t just a figment of his imagination.

“Amanda?” he asked tentatively, afraid if he spoke too hopefully she’d disappear like a wispy curl of smoke.

She shook her head. The bright sun shot gold threads through her hair and added a slight flush to her cheeks. “Caitlan,” she corrected. “Amanda died over sixteen years ago. You know that. She can never come back.”

“You left me, too, and you said you weren’t coming back,” he replied, unable to contain his bitterness over what had happened to her. To them. “So what are
you
doing here?”

She stepped closer. With a gentle smile, she lifted her hand and smoothed her palm inside the collar of his shirt. He sucked in a breath and flinched at the unexpected sensation of her fingers sliding over his collarbone.

“
Caitlan
,” he said on a low groan infused with all the anguish filling his soul. “Why are you here?” he asked again, his voice brimming with misery. “To torment me even more than I already am?”

“No.” Her fingers curled around the gold chain just inside his shirt and withdrew it and the medallion. Holding the pendant in her palm, she met his gaze steadily. “My Superiors are quite upset that you won’t relinquish the medallion.”

She’d come to sever the only link he had to her. The thought sent a shaft of anger through him. “I don’t want to give you up, or the memories of our time together,” he said fiercely, grabbing her hand and dislodging the medallion from her grasp. “I
won’t
give you up, or let those memories fade, even if it means keeping the medallion. I love you, Caitlan.”

Pleasure brightened her eyes and a warm, sensual smile curved her mouth. “I love you, too, John Tyler Rafferty. Even more than I thought possible.” She gave him an upswept look that heated his blood. “They say the second time around is always better than the first.”

Her subtle insinuation teased him, made him wish for things that could never be. His fingers circled her delicate wrist, and the pulse beneath his thumb leapt rhythmically, throbbing with vitality. His own heart thudded in unison with hers.

Damn. She felt so real, so warm. So
alive
.

He pushed her hand away, irritated with himself for hoping and believing in the impossible. “Dammit, go away!” he growled, spinning from her. He plowed both hands through his hair, nearly pulling out the strands in frustration. “I can’t take this anymore. Just go away,” he said, his voice a desperate plea.

When I turn around she’ll be gone. Poof. Back to heaven where she belongs
. He did, and she wasn’t. Fury built in him until he wanted to explode. Why was she tormenting him this way?

“Go away!”
he yelled, the words booming like thunder. Then he glanced around surreptitiously, grateful to find the area still deserted. King whinnied uncertainly at J.T.’s tone and cantered to the far side of the corral. When J.T. looked back at Caitlan, she was smiling—
smiling
, for chrissakes!

“I can’t go away,” she said, shrugging negligently, “Unless you want me to take your truck and find a motel room in town—”

“What the hell are you talking about?” he cut in. He jammed his hands on his hips, his stance rigid with tension.

She tucked an errant wisp of hair behind her ear, secrets sparkling in her violet eyes. “Well, it seems you and I are stuck with one another for at least fifty-two years.”

“Quit foolin’ with me, Caitlan.” He glared at her, annoyed with her nonchalance. “You’re not making any sense, unless I’m due to die sometime soon.”

“No, you’re quite healthy,” she said, strolling toward him with a sultry look in her eyes. “And the Superiors don’t anticipate anything fatal befalling you for some time yet.” Stopping in front of him, she reached out and toyed with a button on his flannel shirt, driving him to distraction with the innocent gesture.

Arousal hummed in his veins. “Caitlan,” he warned. His low voice vibrated with longing and need, but he kept his control tightly leashed.

She sighed, as if put out by his insistence. “According to heavenly plan, you’ll live to be eighty-six, and you’ll have three more children and sixteen grandchildren.” Leaning close, she walked her fingers up the front of his shirt, her expression playful. “You’ll grow old with one woman. A very special woman.”

His lips tightened. “Stop it, Caitlan. That won’t happen.” How could she think he’d marry another woman when his heart was nonexistent without her?

“It will,” she vowed, sliding her palm back inside his shirt, this time to seek out warm, firm flesh, then his nipple. She rolled the nub gently between her fingers, and he drew in a quick breath, his eyes flaring. A siren smile lifted her lips. “Do you think you can put up with me for another fifty-two years?”

“Oh, God,” he groaned. He stepped back, stunned at what she was suggesting. His spine bumped against the fence railing, preventing him from escaping her.

She laughed lightly. “There you go again, Johnny, looking as though you’ve seen a ghost.”

Realization slowly dawned, and he stared at her incredulously. Be found it difficult to believe Caitlan could truly be his in this lifetime. “How ...” He couldn’t even find the words to ask the hundreds of questions whirling in his mind.

The look in her eyes told him she understood his confusion. “Between you keeping the medallion and me moping around heaven, Christopher and Mary decided to put us both out of our misery.” Caitlan went on to explain how their hearts had entwined so intricately when they’d both declared their love at the same moment. “However, the board of Angel Superiors had to vote on my release, and they almost didn’t discharge me from my guardian duties because of the drastic changes it would cause in destiny.” She glanced heavenward, smiling appreciatively. “But then He made the final decision and blessed us with a full, rich life together.” She transferred her gaze to J.T., her expression impish. “And here I am.”

J.T. glanced down the length of her, then back up, frowning. It couldn’t be as easy as that. “You took a bullet for me. Everyone thinks you went back home, to Chicago. What will they think when they see you?”

“I’m sure they’ll think I recovered from my injury quite nicely.” She pulled back the collar of her shirt, showing him the puckered flesh she’d acquired as a result of being shot. “And then they’ll think I came to my senses and realized I couldn’t live without you.”

He glanced at the stitched wound, realizing she’d saved his life not once but twice. This whole angel business still boggled J.T.’s mind, and he knew it would take him a while to understand it all.

“Are you really real?” he whispered, disbelief still holding him captive.

“Flesh and blood.” Holding his gaze, she moved closer, until the tips of her boots pressed to his. “Touch me, Johnny.”

Tentatively, he raised his hand and cupped her cheek, his fingers caressing silky soft skin. The muscles in his stomach tightened. She closed her eyes and sighed, nuzzling into his palm. A frisson of heat spread up his arm and throughout his body, awakening senses that had shut down when she’d left him. Caitlan felt real, alive, but then, he’d thought that while she’d been a guardian angel.

Then touching her wasn’t enough. Sliding his fingers into her hair to cradle the back of her head, he slipped an arm around her, bringing her body flush to his. She flowed into him, becoming a part of him. Reveling in the way her soft contours matched his harder ones, he stared into her bright violet eyes, seeing every feeling in his heart reflected there.

She linked her arms around his neck. Lashes fluttering closed, she pulled his head down to her. “Kiss me, Johnny,” she breathed. “I need you.”

With a groan of complete surrender, he dropped his mouth over hers, drinking in the honeyed taste of her. The silken glide of his tongue stroked over hers, then deeper, demanding her acquiescence. She yielded, body and soul.

He broke the kiss, breathless and aroused. Hugging her to him, he absorbed her warmth, wishing they were in the privacy of his bedroom, instead of standing out in the corral with King watching them.