Kiss of Noir (12 page)

“Enough. I’m not like that with widdle Foofers, I promise. And Foofie promises too, see?” Carol held up a paw and said in a gruff voice, “I, Sir Foofers McRufflekins, also known as Wonderdog McRuff, do solemnly promise—hey! Where are you going?”

I was carrying my boots but stopped at the bedroom door. “I’m outta here. The whole dog love thing makes me want to puke. You’re all the same.”

I turned to go when Carol cried out, “Wait! I can’t be alone tonight. I
can’t
.” She left the dog on the bed and was clinging to my shoulder.

I stared at the ceiling. “This is the dullest foreplay
ever.
”

“We don’t have to do anything, just stay.”

“Oh, I’m not staying just for the hell of it. If I’m here, we’re doing something. Dog outside?”

“He’s a bichon; he can’t go out without me. I’ll lock him out of the bedroom.”

“What does that mean? He’s unequipped to go outside? He’s wearing suede boots? He just had his hair done? What? Isn’t he an animal?”

“He’ll stay in his bed in the kitchen, I swear.”

“What is it with you, anyway? We don’t get along, we don’t even like each other, and you’re willing to shut your dog out to keep me here. What’s up?”

Carol dropped her eyes and shrugged. “I just can’t be alone tonight.”

“And Payne was more than willing to be the one here with you.”

“I like you better. You seem…more exciting. Harder.”

“In what way?”

“In every way.” Carol smiled and touched my cheek.

“One word about that dog and I’m gone.”

“Got it.”

With lots of soft cooing, nonsensical coaxing, sweet entreaties, and treat-filled promises, Carol got the dog settled in his bed in the kitchen while I had formed my plan. Since Carol was so eager for hardness, that’s exactly what I would give her. As soon as Carol entered the bedroom, I grabbed her.

“I think he’s—” I smothered her words with insistent kisses. Carol groaned into my throat and arched into my rough embrace.

“You want hard, huh?” I whispered into Carol’s ear. “I’ll fuck you so hard you’ll forget your own name.” My voice bathed her neck with heat. Her eyes closed, Carol pressed her hips into my thigh, rubbing and grinding. I tore off her blouse, the buttons scattering like bright coins. Carol gasped and laughed. I took a beat to adjust myself to the tiny breasts and protruding ribs. She could be a boy, I thought incoherently. I hastily refocused and shoved her to the bed where she fell, sprawling. I dropped on her, biting one dark nipple while squeezing the other. She moaned, twisting and pushing, but pinned beneath my muscle-bound body, she had to submit. I bit and sucked with jungle ferocity. I kept grunting, “You want it hard, you’ll get it hard.”

Carol squeezed me between her thighs, pushing her jean-clad cunt against my hip. I sucked her nipples until they were swollen and dark red. Her neck and chest were flushed, her eyes black with desire.

“Is this how you want it?” I growled and she nodded. “That’s why you picked me, isn’t it? Say it.”

“Yes.”

“Good choice.” I grinned and sank my teeth into her throat, causing her to emit a strangled scream.

“Give me that cunt.” I rose to my knees and jerked off her jeans. With a smooth quickness like black lightning, I dropped a dental dam over her juicy cunt and I buried my face there. “Mmm, so wet. You do want me like this.” I forced her legs wider. “You’re gonna come for me and you’re gonna come hard.” I snapped on rubber gloves, sucked the latexed index finger and then slid into Carol’s asshole. She groaned and pushed her cunt forward. “I fuck you when I say, not when you say, got it?” I took her clit in my mouth and sucked and licked, discovering how she liked it. Dams never slowed my finesse. Carol moaned and writhed, her limbs trembled, and her breath came faster and faster. Just as she was beginning to moan, I quit. Carol sat up fast.

“What the hell?”

I grinned. “Lie down.” I used my free gloved hand to push her back. “Now I fuck you; are you ready?”

“Uh-huh.” She groaned, thrusting her cunt to me.

As I always did, I regarded this sight for a moment, happy and smug. I had this woman impaled and spread wide and soaking wet all for me. I brushed her turgid clit. She trembled. I touched her cunt. “Oh!” Carol moaned. I slid one, two, three fingers in easily. Her thin, jagged hips rose to engulf more. I stroked her cunt slowly to start, leaving the finger in her ass still for the moment and with my free thumb, caressing her clit.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,” Carol babbled, tossing her head. I would have her come a few times and gradually ease my fist in, using plenty of lube as needed. I was sure she had some. She began to tense, gasping and thrashing when there was a shrill bark.

Everything stopped. The dog had snuck in and was at the foot of the bed, staring up with shining eyes. I slowly pulled out and stared at Carol, who said, “Wait! I think Foofie just wants—” And then clapped her hands to her mouth.

I shook my head, stripping off the gloves and dropping them to the floor. Foofie sniffed them. I put on my boots, which was all I had removed. I left Carol’s house without a word and this time, she let me go.

I approached Ellis’s house warily. I was exhausted and therefore clumsy and didn’t want to wake anyone. All was quiet. A light was on in the kitchen. I tiptoed down the hall.

“Wait!” Sayan called.

I shrank against the wall.

“Who is that dragging her sorry ass into my house at this hour?”

“Good night, Sayan!” I called merrily.

“Good night, hell, come on in here,” Sayan said.

I slunk into the kitchen too spent to fight or resist. Especially a big, loud, passionate woman like Sayan, who only seemed to gain strength and stature carrying Ellis’s child.

“I’m really beat, Sayan. Why don’t we talk in the morning?” I attempted one of my sparkling smiles that Sayan ignored.

“God, you are a mess,” Sayan exclaimed. She was standing, hands on her hips, in resplendent furious glory, her hair mussed, her satin robe only a little tight on her belly. I saw the open Bible on the table and the remains of a late light snack: cracker crumbs, tiny corners of cheese, apple parings, and a glass glazed with the frosty shadow of cold milk. Sayan brandished a flashing fingernail. “We are going to check out my
car
.”

“Relax; I left the keys on the table by the door. Thanks a lot!”

“Relax nothing. I’ve got to see what all you did to it. Come on.” Sayan tightened the robe and strode out to the garage. She flipped on the light and made an inspection tour of the car’s body, scrutinizing every inch, muttering indignantly to herself. Then, she opened the driver’s side door, leaned in and smelled. She glared at me and I just watched helplessly.

“Where’s Ellis?” I asked weakly.

“Sleep,” snapped Sayan, sitting in the car and squinting at everything. “Well, at least you had the sense to fill it up,” she said, looking me up and down. Ellis must be one helluva strong man, I marveled, closing my eyes and leaning against the garage wall. At last, Sayan got out of the car and switched back to the kitchen. “Sit down.”

“Really, I am dead tired—” I began and at Sayan’s look, I continued, “So I’d love to sit.”

“Now, Nora,” Sayan said, struggling to sound calm and reasonable. She smoothed her robe over her belly pot. “I know you’re Ellis’s cousin and that you helped him out back in the day in some kinda way. And I love you for that.”

I glanced up sharply. Seeing my expression, Sayan softened. “I do. You musta done something big for Ellis to upset me by having you stay here.” Sayan smiled, so I did. “But that doesn’t matter. I love Ellis and if he wants you here, I respect that. And I love you because you love him.”

“But?”

“But folks joyriding all night with freaks in my car will never happen again.” Sayan waved a forefinger. “And this homo drunken orgy shit don’t play in my house. It’s not right, okay?”

I sighed. “Anything else?”

“Yes. Something must be done. I want to take you somewhere tomorrow. Will you come? It will change your life.”

“I don’t want my life changed, but yeah, I’ll go. Anything else?”

Sayan put her hand on top of mine. “Let me fix you a plate,” she said softly.

I was surprised. I jerked my hand away. “No, no, that’s okay,” I babbled.

Without a word, Sayan got up and filled a dish with delectable leftovers: spicy greens, homemade macaroni and cheese, cornbread, biscuits and honey, and a couple of pieces of chicken fried with Sayan’s special secret family recipe. “Here you go, Half.”

“Looks like just the thing.” I studied Sayan for a moment. “Ellis sure is one lucky man. I hope he knows that.”

Sayan blushed and smiled. “He does.”

“And that baby is lucky to have you for a mama.”

Sayan’s eyes filled suddenly. She blinked and looked away. “Thanks, Nora,” she whispered to the wall.

When I had eaten everything, Sayan escorted me to bed in the guest room and tucked me in. I felt like a cherished child as Sayan pressed the blankets around me.

“Aren’t you ready yet, lazybones?” Sayan bustled in, adjusting the belt on her dress.

“You’re talking shit, woman. I ain’t going nowhere,” I said, scanning the channels on the television.

“Don’t talk that trash to me, you Half and Half. I will put you back on the street.” Sayan snatched the remote and turned off the TV. “You are coming with me now.” She put her hands on her hips. “You promised.”

I knew better than to resist further. “Where’s Ellis?” I rose and stretched, feeling conscious of Sayan’s hawk eyes watching.

“He’s out. Business.”

“Where you dragging me, Corn Pone?”

Sayan laughed in spite of her tough demeanor. “I’m not your Corn Pone. Come on, get changed.”

“Changed?”

“Just come on.” Sayan pushed me into her bedroom. “Try this.” She held up a floral print dress.

I fell back on the bed, laughing.

“What? It’s pretty.”

“You don’t get me at all, do you?”

“Just try it, for me? Please? Just try.”

“Sure.” I was willing to have a game. I stripped off my Oxford and raised my undershirt when Sayan cleared her throat.

“Uh, I’ll be right outside.”

I pulled on the dress and shook my head. I felt like Flip Wilson’s Geraldine. “You can look now.”

Sayan returned, clucking. She met my eyes. “You look like a board in that dress.”

“Yes, ma’am. See, I’m not a proper fish.”

“Mmm-hmm, well, there must be something here.” Sayan rummaged in the closet. I dreaded an endless parade of dresses. I would have to stop this and quick.

“How about this?” Sayan held out one of Ellis’s Armani suits.

“Now you’re talking!” I stroked the lapel. “You don’t think Hambone would mind?”

“He minds what I tell him to mind,” Sayan said. “I’ll be out here.”

I slipped into the suit and relaxed. I didn’t care where Sayan took me. I strutted in front of the mirror. I opened dresser drawers trying not to be heard and I found Ellis’s socks. I stuffed a pair into my Jockeys and posed. The suit was loose, so I needed two pair. I wanted to make an impression.

Sayan came in and stopped short, her eyes wide. “You look just like Ellis.” Then, this fact seemed to please her because she smiled, her eyes twinkling. “That’s much better.” Sayan tugged on my collar and straightened the jacket. Her eyes dropped to my crotch. “Nigga, you crazy? Get that out of there!”

I obeyed, throwing the socks to the floor. Sayan wrinkled her nose. “Now let’s get going or we’ll be late.” Sayan clamped her hand on to my upper arm and propelled me to the car.

We drove in silence. We were leaving the city.

“Straight, where you taking me?” I asked as fields outnumbered buildings.

“Some place that is going to do you some real good.”

“You gonna buy me a nasty ho?”

Sayan withered me with a look.

At last, an enormous tent came into view. While waiting her turn in traffic she said, “A revival.”

“A revival of what?”

“There are only two men in my life, Jesus and Ellis, in that order. If you get saved then maybe you can get your sorry freak ass in order and find a man.” Sayan began driving again, heading for the parking lot. The dust was high and thick. I clucked my tongue. We passed hand-painted signs that proclaimed B
ROTHER
O
TIS
B
OUDREAUX
R
EVIVAL
. The car bucked as we drove over the field. Men in bad suits pointed the way. It was as crowded as a county fair. I put my hand on the dash so my teeth wouldn’t be knocked out by the car’s jolting over bumps.

“Listen, Sayan, if you want me to come with you to this thing, that’s fine. But there is nothing wrong with me and I don’t need to be fixed. By you or by Jesus.”

Sayan sucked her breath. I continued, “So just look at me like Popeye. I yam what I yam and that’s all what I yam. Let’s go in and have a nice time and that’s it.”