Kisses to Remember (18 page)

“Did what?”

“Made me remember something about myself.”

She pointed her thumb at herself. “Better than any medicine right here, baby.”

Baby?
He loved the sound of that word coming from her and directed at him. He could get used to being called baby.
Her baby
. He had a few names in mind for her as well.

“I’ll be needing several doses of you throughout the day then.”

“Aye, aye.” She gave him a nod and switched lanes to move around a tractor-trailer. “Generally, I hate those things.” She gestured to the truck and attempted to pass it. The Bronco protested at the change of speed, but chugged along. “The graphic on it, however, is my design and looks pretty sweet that large.”

Holden looked out his window. An eagle with a package gripped tightly in its talons stretched across the side of the tractor-trailer. The words
Eagle Express
were written in a golden color below the bird.

“Nice. There’s a lot of detail on those feathers.”

“It’s the details that keep the clients happy.” She took the next exit and rolled to a stop at the end of it.

“How long have you been doing graphic design?” Talking about her work was a safe topic. Not one likely to arouse him he hoped.

“About twelve years. I started right out of college with an advertising company, but didn’t like the corporate scene. After Alex and I got married and we had Kam and…” Her voice broke for a nanosecond. “Once we had Kam, I branched out on my own and worked from home. It was great because I could set my own hours, be with Kam, have dinner on the table. You know, be a career woman
and
a mother.”

“Sounds like the perfect plan.” Holden noted she hadn’t mentioned Kallie. He couldn’t imagine the hurt losing a child caused, especially losing one the way Kam had explained. 

“It was a perfect plan. For a little while anyway.” She sifted out a sigh and pulled into a parking space at the lumberyard. “But even the best plans get fucked up sometimes.” She whispered the curse, then put on a smile as she looked at Kam. “Least I got him out of the deal.”

Kam was still drawing his monster truck design, his grip so tight on the pen that his fingers were turning red. Having a kid like him was a good deal. Again, Holden wondered if there were kids waiting somewhere in Texas for him. He waited for a recovered memory of throwing a baseball around or teaching someone to ride a bike to come flooding back to him, but nothing did.

He turned toward the lumberyard. “Why don’t you drop me off here and go get your party supplies? This will take me a little while.” And he needed some space from these too-good-to-be-true people.

“Okay.” She tapped the dashboard clock. “An hour enough time?”

“Perfect.” He hopped out of the Bronco.

“Then we’ll outfit you with some new clothes.” She gave him a once over as he stood outside by the open passenger door. “I’m thinking a velvet sweat suit would be absolutely perfect on you.”

Kam let out a laugh from the backseat. “Good one, Mom.”

Holden poked his head back into the Bronco so he could see Kam. “She’s not allowed to pick out any clothes for me.”

“What about a nice pair of cowboy boots?” Johanna asked. “You’re supposedly from Texas.”

He looked down to Alex’s workboots. “Nope. I think these are along the right lines. T-shirts and jeans too, just new ones.”

Johanna studied him again, and it worried Holden that he liked when she did that.

****

“I like him,” Kam said as the Bronco pulled out of the lumberyard lot.

Johanna looked at Kam in the rearview mirror. “Me too.” She purposely kept her voice casual.

Kam’s gaze met hers in the mirror, a slight curve to his lips. “How much do you like him?”

“Probably not as much as you like Christina Darren.” She stuck her tongue out at Kam, and he rolled his eyes.

“Does he make your hands sweat?”

A very good question. Holden certainly raised her body temperature. Dropping him off at the lumberyard had caused all sorts of sawdusted fantasies to sprout in her mind. Something so terrifically male about a guy who knew his way around a toolbox and a pile of wood.

“So? Does he?” Kam poked his head between the front seats as Johanna pulled into a spot in front of the party supply store.

She shut off the Bronco and held up her hands. “No sweat here.”

Kam looked at her for a long moment. He did that whenever he didn’t believe what she was telling him. She braced for further questioning, but he just patted her shoulder as if she were a small child and climbed out of the car.

“Christina Darren hasn’t replied to my invitation yet.” Kam pulled open the store’s door and held it for Johanna like a true gentleman. There was an old soul behind those grass-stained jean shorts and untied sneakers.

“Maybe she’s afraid there’ll only be boys at your party.”

“I wrote that my three girl cousins would be there on the invitation.” Leave it to Kam to think of everything.

“Maybe she’s going away on vacation on the party date.” Johanna wanted that disappointed look in Kam’s big eyes to scram.

Kam shook his head. “Nope. Bobby Reshetti said she’s going to Disney World in August.”

“Well, there’s still time for her to respond. Don’t give up yet.” She ruffled his hair and led him to the monster truck aisle where four other mom-and-son pairs stood piling goods into carriages. “Guess Holden knows what boys like, huh?”

Kam ran towards the plates, cups, and tablecloths all emblazoned with big-tired monster trucks. He started talking to some of the other boys in the aisle as they all pulled down small plastic trucks and party hats. The other mothers made room for Johanna in the aisle.

“Popular theme this year,” one of the mothers said.

“Looks like it.” Johanna kept an eye on Kam as he reached for the plates shaped like huge tires. He wiggled himself free of the other boys, then stopped short at the next display.

“Hey, Mom,” he said. “This one is all racecars.” He put down the tire plates.

Johanna stood behind him, away from the other shoppers, and scanned the display. Black and white checkered napkins complemented a set of plates shaped like steering wheels, and plastic racecars with zip cords were available in red, blue, green, and neon yellow.

“Holden would like this better than monster trucks.” Kam looked back to the monster truck display where two of the other boys were now wrestling with a plastic, gasoline can-shaped punch bowl.

“Do
you
like this one better?” She turned him to face her.

A slow smile creased his adorable face. “Yeah, let’s get the racecar stuff, and not tell Holden. It’ll be a surprise on the day of the party.” He started piling supplies into the carriage Johanna had left at the end of the aisle.

She should have mentioned to Kam that Holden might not be around for his birthday party. He could easily have regained his memory by then and be settled back in Texas, living the life he was supposed to be living. She should have warned her dear child not to get attached to Holden, because he wasn’t theirs to keep.

“You’re sure about this theme change, Kam?” she asked.

“Yup.” He tossed a blackish-gray tablecloth with a dotted white line down the center of it into the carriage. “There’s not much difference between the two anyway.”

Ever practical Kam. Johanna helped him reach the red, white, and black streamers, and before she knew it, she was handing her credit card over to the teenage cashier. After they packed their purchases into the Bronco, Johanna checked her watch.

“Well, that only took twenty minutes, buddy.” She unlocked the back door, and Kam climbed in.

“Let’s go back to the lumberyard and find Holden. Maybe he needs help.” He buckled his seatbelt and picked up his video game.

Johanna slid into the driver’s seat and hunted for a way to object to going to the lumberyard. She couldn’t find one. She wanted to go to the lumberyard, to Holden.

Sighing at her stupidity, she jammed the key into the ignition and headed out of the parking lot.

“Your hands are sweaty, aren’t they?” Kam giggled softly.

“Shush.” Johanna turned up the radio and ignored the astute observations of her child.

When the Bronco rolled to a stop again in the lumberyard parking lot, she reminded herself this wasn’t normal. Being interested in a man she’d just met who had amnesia and defended her with a French toast platter was craziness. She and Kam had done all right on their own this far. She had focused on working and raising her son and she’d get back into that mode. Soon. Today, in fact. Once she got home, she’d spend the rest of the afternoon locked in her office and buried in her work.

Having made that plan, Johanna hauled herself out of the Bronco and walked with Kam to the front doors of the lumberyard. The smell of cut wood tickled her nose, and she closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. When she opened her eyes, Holden was in the doorway in front of her holding a shopping bag.

He looked at his wrist, which didn’t have a watch on it, and asked, “Has it been an hour already?”

Oh, it’s been way longer than an hour,
her girl parts said.

Be quiet,
Johanna thought, though her body felt a magnetic pull toward Holden.

“No, we finished up quick in the party supply store,” Kam answered. “And you’re not allowed to see what we bought.” He hopped on one foot then the other.

“Okay.” Holden looked at Johanna and pretended to whisper to her. “Someone is a little excited, yes?”

Yes!
the girl parts cheered.

Johanna mentally hushed them. “Hey, you don’t turn ten everyday, you know.”

“That’s true.”

“What did you do on your tenth birthday?” she asked quickly, in a half-hearted attempt to jog his memory.

Holden crunched his eyebrows together, then shook his head. “I got nothing. Thanks for trying though.”

“We’ll keep at it.” She arrowed her hand to Reggie’s across the street. “Next stop?”

“Yeah. The lumberyard will deliver the bigger supplies.” He wiggled the shopping bag and followed Kam back to the Bronco.

Johanna walked a few steps behind them and wiped the sweat from her palms.

“Mom, I’m hungry,” Kam said after they’d finished at the building supply store and picking out clothes for Holden. Bags full of party supplies, nails, screws, T-shirts, jeans, socks, boxer shorts, and workboots spilled from the back of the Bronco onto the seat beside Kam.

Holden had managed to escape without a velvet sweat suit much to his relief. Not that Kam and Johanna hadn’t made him try one on just for laughs, however. Puce was so not his color, by the way. Even he had to laugh at how ridiculous he looked in the suit. He’d been pretty sure he’d have to carry Kam and Johanna out of the clothing store because they were busting a gut over him in that ensemble.

Truthfully, he’d had a goddamned blast trying that sweat suit on and amusing them. Kam and Johanna were amazing. When they laughed, they were perfect.

“I’m hungry too,” Holden said. 

“Great,” Johanna said. “Now there are
two
of you to deal with.” She rolled her eyes, but her lips twitched up at the corner. “I suppose it is past lunchtime.”

“Almost ten-year old boys need sustenance.” Holden winked at Kam.

“Yeah, I’ll never grow if you don’t feed me.” Kam put on an impressive sad face.

Johanna straightened up in her seat to look at Kam in the rearview mirror. “I feed you. I feed you very well, kid.”

Kam shrugged and looked at Holden. “She’s right. She does.”

“Thank you.” Johanna bowed her head. “And because of your honesty, Kam, we’ll go have some lunch.”

“If he wasn’t honest, were you going to starve him? And me?” Holden asked.

“I might still starve you.” Johanna shot him a quick look as she pulled into a nearby restaurant.

“That’s evil.” He narrowed his eyes at her, and she gave him an
Oh well
look.

They got out of the Bronco and a hostess held open the front door of a restaurant called The Corn Cob.

“Tell me they serve more than corn here,” Holden said to Kam.

After a giggle, Kam said, “They have sandwiches and burgers. Stuff like that.”

“And ice cream?” Holden followed the hostess to a booth toward the back of the restaurant.

“Definitely ice cream.” Kam scooted across one seat and Johanna followed him, so Holden took the other seat across from them.

“How is everybody today?” the waitress asked. “In the mood for a nice family lunch?”

No one corrected her.

She left the menus after rattling off a list of specials, which Holden didn’t pay attention to. He was too busy watching the way red curls fell about Johanna’s face as she perused her own menu.

“Don’t order anything with nuts,” she said. “Just in case.”

“Right.” Holden scanned the menu. “I should be carrying that Epi-pen with me.”