Kisses to Remember (16 page)

Holden’s voice reached her ears from the living room where he was talking to Ted. He definitely had snuggle capability.

“Don’t even think it, girl.” She shook her head and turned away from her bedroom. She couldn’t view Holden as a replacement, as someone to fill the void in her life, in Kam’s life. That was a lot to ask of a man who didn’t remember his past.

She went to the living room where Holden was helping Ted to his feet. She brought the crutches over. “Where are we headed?”

“I’m beat, Johanna. Need sleep now,” Ted said.

“You can take my room,” she said.

“He’s going to take the guestroom,” Holden said. “I’ll crash downstairs if that’s okay with you.”

“I tried to talk him out of it.” Ted draped himself over the crutches. “But the kid won’t listen.”

“It doesn’t make sense for you to go down a set of stairs, and Johanna shouldn’t have to give up her room, because I, a complete outsider, have commandeered her guestroom. Besides, that basement space is pretty sweet.” Holden offered Johanna a smile, and she wanted to haul him down to her bedroom. Dammit. What did that say about her if a mere smile made her think about ripping his clothes off?

It says your sex-deprived, moron. Desperate. Pathetic.

Ted made his way down the hallway as if everything had been settled. She supposed it had. They’d worked it out among men, and it was the most practical solution.

“Do you need help, Ted?” she called to his retreating back.

“Nope. I plan to throw these crutches to the floor and drop onto the bed. Someone come get me in the morning. I think I’ll be in the mood for French toast.” He disappeared into the guestroom with Miles right behind him.

“Once he falls asleep, I’ll get you some clothes to take downstairs.” Johanna sat on the couch and sent up a mental
hurray
when Holden sat next to her. A quick thought of sleeping with him on the couch early this morning stirred her insides.

“Maybe tomorrow, if it’s not too much trouble, you could take me to buy some clothes. I have money. These,” he tugged on Alex’s cotton shorts, black ones tonight, “are comfortable, but I don’t feel right wearing them.”

“Understood. Maybe shopping might jog your memory while you’re picking out something you like.” She should be more focused on helping him remember his life. Not doing so was selfish.

“I remembered something today,” Holden said.

Johanna held up the racecar. “Yeah, I know. You like racecars.”

“It’s more than liking them. I think I drive them.” Holden took the car from her, and something hot burned deep within Johanna as she pictured him behind the wheel of a slick racecar. The speed, the skill involved in driving, the spiraling around the racetrack…all of it screamed sexy.

Settle down.
She put her hand to her chest, trying to calm her thudding heart. If she could get this turned on merely thinking about Holden, imagine what actually touching him would do to her. She had to get a grip.

“Kam was impressed with your Lego skills. I try, but whenever I see a pile of those, my mind goes blank and I can’t think of a thing to build.”

“The key is you try anyway.”

“It’s what a parent does.” She shrugged and studied her toes gripping the edge of the coffee table to keep from gazing at Holden.

“I should remember if I have kids, shouldn’t I?” He huffed out a breath and raked his hand through his hair. The strands stood straight up for a moment then fell back into place perfectly. Little lines of worry creased the corners of his eyes, and Johanna wanted to soothe them away.

“Give yourself time, Holden.”
You can stay here as long as you want. Please stay.

“I could even be married.” He looked to Johanna, then down to his left hand. “No ring.”

“I did notice that.” It had been one of the first things she’d noticed about him when she’d seen him in the hospital. “But maybe you don’t wear one. Lots of guys don’t. Guys who work with their hands.” She reached across the cushion between them and took Holden’s hand. Running her fingers over the small scars and calluses, she said, “These look like hands that have seen some work.”

An awkward moment stretched between them as Johanna smoothed her fingers over Holden’s palms. Catching herself, she stopped and forced her hands into her own lap.

“But if I had a wife and kids, wouldn’t they be looking for me? Wouldn’t they know my flight plan if I’m really a pilot? Wouldn’t the hospital be able to find them if they existed?” He’d appeared so calm these past two days, but clearly the amnesia was weighing on him. Johanna tried to ignore the part of her that was happy no one appeared to be looking for him.

That made Holden more hers than anyone else’s.

He’s out of the hospital.

Sabrina stared at the text message from Aaron. She’d put him in charge of keeping an eye on the Holden situation. Obviously, her assistant was the only one she could trust to get anything done. The fool she’d hired to damage the engine of the corporate plane had let her down. She’d certainly paid for more than getting the job half done. One dead pilot wasn’t enough. She needed two.

That doctor had told her Holden had amnesia, and she’d assumed he’d be in the hospital for at least a few more days. How had he escaped a crash like the one he’d been in with only a concussion and minor scrapes and bruises? She’d seen pictures of the plane taken by the team she’d sent out to clean up the mess. It had been good and mangled. No reason Holden Lancaster should still be alive. None.

After looking around the conference table at the San Fran execs still hashing out the details of the first shipment of altered DE products, she texted Aaron back.

Where?

A moment passed before he responded.
Graphic designer picked him up.

Sabrina recalled the phone conversation she’d had with Johanna Ware. The question was did Ware still think Holden worked for DE? If she did, she might decide to help him remember what he’d forgotten. What he was better off forgetting.

This wouldn’t do.

What do we know about her?
she texted.

A link to a website appeared on the touch screen. She clicked it. WareTeez. com came up, and Sabrina vaguely remembered visiting this site when deciding whether or not to hire Ware to design the DE logo. She was again impressed with the woman’s work, but this only told about Johanna Ware professionally. Only displayed her skills and her gorgeous photo. Holden was no doubt more than happy the red-headed beauty had come to his aid.

An angry coil of jealousy unrolled inside Sabrina’s gut. Holden was supposed to be hers to fuck. 

What else?

Another link came up on her phone. This one was to a newspaper article. The headline read
Local Banker Alex Ware Arrested, Daughter Killed in Crossfire.
Now this was something. Sabrina skimmed the article long enough to find where Alex was doing his time.

Time to shake things up.
She detailed her wishes to Aaron and set her phone on the conference table. Johanna Ware would regret getting involved with Holden Lancaster. Sabrina would make sure of it.         

****

“That’s too much syrup, Pep!” Kam’s giggles wafted down the stairs, and Holden stretched out his legs on the couch. His feet hit something solid, so he raised his head to find Miles sleepily blinking at him.

“Hey, dog.” Holden sat up and Miles licked the bottom of his bare foot. “Uh, thanks.”

The dog jumped down from the couch and did that all over body shake that dogs do. He then inched up toward Holden’s face and pushed his wet nose into Holden’ cheek.

“You make a great alarm clock, Miles.” Holden scratched around the dog’s ears until a pink tongue lolled over canine teeth. “Do I smell French toast?”

He slid his legs over the side of the couch and stood. Looking around the basement, he decided it was a good place for him to bunk while he was staying here. A little secluded from the family. From Johanna. A wise move.

After she’d touched his hand on the couch last night, he hadn’t been sure he’d be able to tear himself from her company. One thought of sleeping with her on that same couch and his mind formed mental images best left to adult programming. Her fingertips had been so soft, silky. What would they feel like combing over his…

What are you doing?
Playing a dangerous game, that’s what he was doing. A game he couldn’t win. He reminded himself that he was here in Johanna’s house temporarily. This wasn’t permanent. This wasn’t his home. It was limbo, an in-between place until his damn memory decided to make an appearance. Was it going to come back in little drips? A remembered construction ability, a recalled fascination with racecars. How long was this going to take?

How long would Johanna let him stay?

She’d told him to take his time with his memory, but surely that didn’t mean he had an unlimited invitation to hang out in Nebraska. Did it?

“Save some for Holden, Pep.” Kam’s voice reached him again, and he visited the bathroom. When he came out, he spotted a pile of clothes on the armrest of the couch. He slipped on the blue T-shirt and jeans and climbed the stairs.

In the kitchen, Ted and Kam sat at the table in the middle of a French toast feeding frenzy.

“Hey, Holden!” Kam popped up from his seat and pulled out a chair for Holden. “In another few minutes, there wouldn’t have been any French toast left. Pep is eating enough for an entire army.”

“Johanna’s French toast is heaven.” Ted waved a piece on his fork, then shoved it into his mouth.

“Where is Johanna?” Holden gestured to her empty seat across from him, a seat he wished was full.

“Mom’s working for a few hours this morning,” Kam said as he poured orange juice for Holden. “Then we’re going shopping for birthday party supplies, and you’re coming!” The boy’s eyes shined with pure joy.

“Good luck to you.” Ted passed the platter of French toast to Holden. “You’d better eat up. Sounds like you’re in for a tough day.”

Kam slid the syrup toward Holden. “Don’t listen to Pep. Shopping with Mom is fun. There’s usually ice cream. You might not remember ice cream, but you’ll want to eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”

“I can’t wait then,” Holden said.

“Guaranteed you’ll be singing a different tune by the time you come back home,” Ted said.

The word
home
echoed in Holden’s head, and he pushed it out of his mind. Tried to anyway. This wasn’t his home.

“Where do you go for lumber and such around here?” Holden asked. Focusing on Ted’s cabin might get his head on straight, a head that did ache so much this morning. 

“Parker’s Lumberyard. I already told Johanna you’d want to make a stop there and to Reggie’s Building Supply Company across the street from the lumberyard.” Ted leaned back and peered out one of the back windows. “I can make a call today and have that rubble removed. Got a buddy who owes me a favor.”

“Great. I’ll make a list of what we need to get started.” Holden liked having a task, a plan to follow. Not remembering parts of his past and not knowing what the future held made him feel aimless. Building Ted’s cabin gave him a purpose. Hopefully it would keep him from thinking so much about Johanna and her soft fingers.

He bit into a piece of French toast and let out a groan. He pictured Johanna’s soft fingers making this breakfast. 

“Told you,” Ted said. “Heaven with a sprinkle of cinnamon right there.”

Damn.
Cabin building was not enough to keep Holden from thinking about Johanna.

“You tell Parker and Reggie to put everything you buy from them on my account. When my insurance check comes in, I’ll square them away.” Ted finished his breakfast and handed his plate to Kam who was already cleaning up. “I’ll put in a call to my electrician and plumber buddies unless you know that stuff too.”

Holden stopped mid-chew and paused for a moment.
C’mon, man. Think.
He shook his head. “I don’t remember. Sorry.”

“No need to be sorry, kid. You’ll be doing enough just building the structure. Besides, my buddies would probably kill me if I farmed the work out to a new guy.”

Holden nodded and finished his juice. His mind was Swiss cheese. He was pretty sure he hated Swiss cheese.

“That looks good.” Ted pointed to Holden’s stitched arm. The angry, puffy redness that had surrounded the cuts had gone away and so had the itchiness.

“My headache is gone too,” Holden added. “Just a little soreness in the ribs still.” He peeked under the table where Ted’s leg was propped on Johanna’s chair. “How’s that feel?”

“Like someone used it as a baseball bat.” Ted shrugged and moved his leg off the chair. “I know I’m an old man, but I usually don’t feel it, you know?”

“You’re not old, Pep.” Kam dropped soapsuds on the kitchen floor when he turned around from the sink.

“Thanks, kid. You’re not short either.” Ted elbowed Holden as if to say,
Watch this.

Kam’s body stilled by the sink, his mouth hanging open. “That was mean, Pep. Mean.”