Kisses to Remember (25 page)

“You peeked.” He put Johanna down and cuffed Kam on the back of the neck.

“I’m a kid, Holden. Kids peek.” Kam threw up his hands as if this were an obvious truth.

“I’ll have to remember that.” He sent Johanna a grin and enjoyed the flush on her cheeks. A flush he’d put there with his kiss. A flush he’d like to put there again and again.

A small beam of light shined into Holden’s eye as Dr. Sakala examined him. He hadn’t expected an actual appointment. More of a question and answer session was what he’d been looking for, but when the doctor told him to sit on the end of the exam table, Johanna had nodded and stepped out of the room. Holden wished she’d stayed.

“So,” Dr. Sakala said as he pressed his stethoscope to Holden’s bare chest. The instrument was cold, and Holden sucked in a breath until his skin warmed it. “You’re still staying with Ms. Ware?”

“She hasn’t kicked me out yet, so yeah.”

The doctor smiled. “No headaches, dizziness, vision problems, vomiting?”

“No.”

“Good.” Dr. Sakala took Holden’s arm and inspected the healing skin where the stitches had begun to disintegrate. “This looks well on its way.” After checking Holden’s head where hair had grown back, the doctor gave a satisfactory nod then sat on the stool next to the exam table as he handed Holden his T-shirt. “What about your memory?”

Holden slid his shirt on and ran a hand through his hair. “That still seems to be a problem, Doc. I’ve remembered little things, like my favorite beer and that I can build things. Yesterday, I remembered the other pilot and the plane crash, but there’s so much more I still don’t remember.”

“Remembering the crash is big. I’m sure the rest isn’t far behind. I know it probably feels like it’s taking forever, but it hasn’t been that long. A few weeks, right?”

Holden nodded. “Can you tell me anything about the other pilot? Vaughn Bennett?”

“Just that he was DOA and that company you supposedly worked for…what was it again?”

“Donovan Electronics.”

“Right, right. They said they didn’t know Mr. Bennett, and nobody claimed his body so we cremated him. It’s as if the two of you didn’t exist before crashing here. Like you came from a parallel universe or something.”

“It feels like that.” Holden sifted out a breath. “I’m sick of not knowing everything about myself.”

Dr. Sakala motioned to the door of the exam room. “Maybe I’m off here and out of line, but are there a few new things you’ve learned since your time with Ms. Ware?”

Holden’s face got hot.
Could the doctor tell Johanna made him horny as hell?
“Perhaps.”

“Well, son, my advice is to count your blessings. A woman willing to take you in, feed you, care for you, and whatever else is most likely a fantastic woman. I’d stick with her and let your past dribble in whenever it damn well pleases.” He stood and strung his stethoscope around his neck. “You’re healthy. That’s the main thing.” He clamped a hand on Holden’s shoulder. “Anything else I can do for you?”

“No, sir. Thanks.” He slid off the exam table and followed the doctor out to the hall.

With a handshake, Holden left the doctor’s office and took the stairs down to the actual hospital. As he walked along the corridor, he passed a room where a bunch of machines chirped and buzzed and another one where a patient moaned loudly.

Count your blessings is right.
He shuddered to think about how he could have ended up after that plane crash. Severely injured. Permanently scarred or disabled.

Dead. Like Vaughn.

Holden’s stomach flopped and the hallway in front of him wavered. He thought about turning around and telling Dr. Sakala that maybe he
was
dizzy and having vision problems, but the scene before him quickly changed. He and Vaughn were in a…a garage. After a moment, he recognized it as
his
garage. Tool cases lined tidy shelves on one wall of the space and a shop stool was pulled up to a work table. The scene shifted again to reveal a racecar. A work of art with its glossy black and red paint.

Vaughn leaned against the car, and annoyance prickled Holden. He regarded his buddy, noting his sandy blond hair and tall build. Looking into his eyes, he realized he knew this face. Truly knew it.

Vaughn’s expression concerned him. His hazel eyes were wide, and he kept glancing to the closed garage door, like a mouse looking out for a hungry cat. He opened his mouth causing Holden to edge forward, ready to hear what his friend would say, desperate to hear it.

“Holden?”

Something touched his arm and he blinked. In that moment, Vaughn’s face and the garage disappeared. He was back in the hospital corridor, and Johanna stood in front of him.

“Holden, you’re so pale. Are you okay? What did the doctor say?” Her voice had gone shaky, cautious.  

He licked his dry lips and focused on her face.
What was Vaughn going to say?
Damn, how could he get back to that memory or vision or whatever it was?

“Shit.” He pushed past Johanna and headed for the main doors of the hospital.

“Where are you going?” she called.

But he didn’t stop. He went right outside and took a big gulp of fresh Nebraska air. It didn’t do a thing to help him.

“Dammit.” He kicked his boot against the building.

“Well, that’s smart.” Johanna stood in the open doorway of the hospital.

“Steel toe.” He pointed to the tip of the work boot. “I’m fucking invincible.”

Leaning against the bricks, he stared at the sky. Fluffy, white clouds drifted by as if time meant nothing. They had all afternoon to swim across the blueness overhead. Holden focused on one cloud in particular. Shaped like a seahorse, it followed cirrus wisps, its tail end coming apart a bit as it passed.

Sky, clouds, flying, planes. Sky, clouds, flying, planes.
If he repeated these words over and over, perhaps he could get another vision. Another one with Vaughn in it.

“What happened back there?” Johanna asked.

Holden squeezed his eyes shut. “Can I please have a few minutes here?” He instantly regretted his tone. When he looked her way, Johanna shot fire at him from her big blue eyes.

“Take all the time you want.” Her tone was equally acidic as she let the door go and stomped inside the hospital.

Why are you being a jerk?
Holden asked himself.
She’s been nothing but nice to you, idiot.

“Johanna.” He stopped the door before it closed all the way, but Johanna kept walking. She moved so fast he had to jog to catch up to her. “Wait a second, will you?”

She turned around, her arms folded across her “Peace, Love, and Chocolate” T-shirt. Her eyebrow arched as if to say,
Well?

“I’m sorry.” He pointed to the spot in the corridor where he’d been having the vision. “When you touched me over there, I was in a memory. In my garage. Vaughn was there and about to say something to me.”

Johanna examined her toes sticking out from her sandals. “And me touching you jarred you out of the memory?”

He nodded.

“Shit. I’m so stupid.” She chewed on her lip, and Holden wanted to kiss that lip. How could he be mad at her?

“Not your fault. You didn’t know I was in a zone. I didn’t have to bite your head off either.” He stepped closer and rested his hands on her biceps. “I’ll try to get it back later. How’s Ted?”

“He’s doing all right. They’re putting a new cast on, a smaller one.” She fiddled with the straps of her purse. “I figured I’d come find you, see what was going on. I feel wretched about interrupting your—”

He stopped her with a finger to her lips. “Don’t feel wretched. You’ve done so much for me.” He dropped a light kiss on her cheek. “In fact, Kam and I were talking about how wonderful you are this morning while we worked on Ted’s cabin.”

Johanna grinned now, and Holden melted a little inside. “Is that right? What did you say about me?”

Holden shook his head. “Nope. Not going to tell you here.” He gestured to the hospital staff bustling around. “I’ll tell you tonight during a little something Kam and I are organizing.”

“What are you two planning?” Both of her eyebrows went up now, and she leaned against Holden. In that moment, Holden solidified his plans for making love to her later tonight.

“Can’t say.” He zipped his mouth closed. “All I know is that there will be food, speeches, applause, and who knows what else? Do you have a fancy dress?”

“Oh, is this a formal affair?”

An image of Johanna in a barely there dress tightened parts of his anatomy. “I just decided that it is.” He kissed her and loved how she licked her lips when he stepped back. “Let’s get Ted and Kam and get out of here.”

Without any argument, Johanna led him to a room where a nurse was laughing with Ted. Kam hopped off a chair and ran to Johanna.

“Pep knows Miss Nancy from high school a really long time ago,” Kam said.

“You could probably leave off the ‘really long time ago’ part, squirt.” Ted hooked an arm around Kam and yanked him to where he sat. “Miss Nancy here still has eyes that twinkle when she laughs.”

The nurse, Nancy, swatted at Ted’s shoulder. “Only over your jokes, Ted.” She gazed down at Ted’s face, and Holden had to agree that her eyes did indeed twinkle.

“Are they flirting?” Johanna asked Holden without really moving her lips.

“I think so.”

“Interesting.” Johanna motioned for Kam to come to her. “We’ll pull the car up to the door, okay, Ted?”

“Okay. Five minutes.” He winked at Holden after Johanna and Kam went into the hallway, and Holden gave him a thumbs up when Nancy looked down to write something on her clipboard.

Holden joined Johanna and Kam in the hall and prodded them toward the doors leading outside.

“That was weird,” Johanna said.

“Was it?” Holden asked. “I’m flirting with you. You’re flirting with me. Kam here is flirting with Christina. Why not Ted?”

Johanna elbowed Holden in the stomach while Kam wiped his palms on his jeans.

“Wow, the mere mention of her name breaks a sweat.” Holden pretended to inspect Kam’s hands. “Impressive.”

“It’s not impressive,” Kam almost whined. “How can I stop it? Christina’s going to think I’m gross if I sweat.”

“No, honey,” Johanna said. “She’ll think you’re human.”

“But I want to be
super
human!” Kam positioned his hands on his hips, Superman-style. All he needed was a red cape.

“Give it a few years, Kam,” Holden said around a laugh. “You’ll get there.”

Kam pretended to fly off in the direction of the Bronco, and Johanna took Holden’s hand. They walked in silence for a few moments before Johanna stopped and turned toward Holden.

“Did Dr. Sakala say anything helpful?” she asked.

“Only that I should count my blessings that you’ve taken me in.” He twirled the end of her hair around his finger.

“I’ve got a couple blessings to count too.” She looked at him for a second longer before unlocking the Bronco.

He climbed in the passenger side as Kam hopped in behind him. Everything felt so right, so perfect. Yes, he wanted to get back to that garage vision, wanted to hear what Vaughn was going to say, but the doctor had made a good point. How could he wish for more when the people sitting in that beat up truck with him were more than most people had?  

And why did he have the feeling that whatever Vaughn was going to say was something he didn’t want to hear?

****

Johanna fussed with her hair in the bathroom mirror. After returning from the hospital, she’d agreed to the boys’ requests that she stay away from the kitchen, dining, and living room areas. She’d worked a little in her office, showered, and now had on a black tank dress that cut to a V at her breasts. A bit of makeup graced her face and a necklace with a silver heart on the end Kam had given her one Christmas was around her neck. She hoped she had the right look going for whatever Kam, Holden, and apparently even Ted were scheming to do tonight.

She’d beaten herself up mentally about cutting into the vision Holden had at the hospital, but he’d looked pale and hazy. Her first thought had been that Dr. Sakala had delivered some horrifying news. She should have known he was remembering something by the faraway expression on his face. 

She inspected herself in the mirror again and said to Miles sitting by her feet, “I’ll make it up to him later tonight.” She adjusted her breasts in the dress to make more of her cleavage show. “Hope you can handle Fancy Johanna, Holden Lancaster.”

After smearing on more lipstick, she snuck into her bedroom with Miles scratching along behind her. She peered at the alarm clock by her bed. 6:58 p.m. Two minutes until Holden said she was allowed to make her appearance in the kitchen. Fifty-seven seconds to think about how wonderful it was to have Holden around. Forty-nine seconds to wonder if she’d gone overboard with the lavender body spray. Thirty-eight seconds to think about how happy Kam was about spending time with Holden. Thirty-two seconds to be impressed by the progress of Ted’s cabin. Twenty-six seconds to worry about Alex getting beat up in prison. Twenty-one seconds to consider putting on shoes, then deciding against it. Fourteen seconds to open her bedroom door a crack and inhale the garlic-scented air coming from the forbidden rooms. Nine seconds to brush dog hair off her dress, six seconds to give herself one more look in the bathroom mirror, three seconds to edge down the hallway and…