Kissing Fire (28 page)

“Can I get you something to drink?”

“Um, no, I’m good.”

She looked so beautiful, I automatically reached out
my hand to brush her hair off her cheek and as my hand touched her,
I realized what I was doing. I gave my head a vigorous shake.
“Forgive me, I...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I guess
I...”

“It’s okay.”

We both fell silent for a few moments and then I
said, “You look perfect Avery. You always look perfect.”

“Preston, I...”

“Before you say anything, can I say something?”

She nodded. I had to get this out before I lost my
nerve or before she turned around and left. So I started
talking.

“I have to tell you this. You need to know this. I
was a fool. A complete and total fool but even worse than that, I
was a fucking ass to you. I’ve replayed the whole situation over
and over in my mind, countless times, and I was such a damn fool,
an idiot and I fucked you over so completely. I was selfish and
worried about losing you and had a complete disregard for your
feelings, not to mention what I did to your life.” I couldn’t stand
still as I spoke, so I paced in front of her, my hands tearing
through my hair or rubbing my face. “I put myself--my
feelings--before everything that was you and didn’t consider the
consequences of my actions. Somehow, and I don’t know how, I
thought they’d iron themselves out. Obviously that was ridiculously
stupid and so terribly wrong, which brings me back to the fact that
I was a damn idiotic fool. I am more sorry than I can ever say on
every level possible, but mostly because I hurt you so deeply. I
will repent those sins for the rest of my life. I know forgiveness
is way too much to ask, but if perhaps you could find it in your
heart to accept that I am so fucked up, maybe we can try again. I
don’t know Avery. Just tell me something, because my life is
worthless without you in it.”

She looked at me for the longest time and then
walked to me and hugged me. When I felt her arms go around me, I
thought I knew the greatest joy in my life. She pressed her cheek
against my chest but I couldn’t stand there like that. I fell to my
knees and buried my face against her as I held her. My hopes began
to rise when her hands moved through my hair and she pressed my
head against her. I looked up at her, rose to my feet, picked up
her hand, and placed it against my heart. Then she started to
speak.

“I’ve been unhappy since I’ve left you. But I can’t
be with someone who isn’t honest with me. Honesty and trust go hand
in hand. If I can’t trust you, we can’t have a relationship. When I
found out what you did, it hurt so deeply. I didn’t know what to do
and that’s why I ran. I had to get away from you to think clearly
about it. Being around you clouds my head and I can’t think
straight. I had to get away and think about us and other
things.”

I rubbed her back while she talked. Just having her
in my arms felt like a miracle.

“Thinking is a good thing Avery.”

“I suppose it can be. I can’t live your lifestyle. I
don’t want to have to worry that someone is going to try to kill
you or me every day.”

I breathed deeply. “I don’t want that either.”

She leaned back a bit, just enough to look at my
face. “But what about your job?”

“I’m on a year’s leave of absence right now, if that
tells you something.”

“What about after that?”

“Well, what do you want to do?”

“I want to stay here.”

“Then we’ll stay here. I’ll go anywhere Avery, as
long as I go with you. It’s your call. I’ll do whatever it takes. I
only know that I want to do it with you.”

“I can’t go through that kind of hurt again
Preston.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to, nor would I put you
through that. I’m not saying that our lives will be perfect and
we’ll never have disagreements. That’s unlikely, I think. But my
heart and soul are yours Avery. Forever and not just for a month or
two. I can’t promise that we won’t have ups and downs, but I will
promise I won’t ever lie to you again, or hurt you the way I did
last summer. I will swear that to you.”

Chapter 25

Avery

My heart was in my throat as his eyes grabbed mine.
Warm golden flecks sparkled in their depths and my belly tightened
as desire raged through me. His voice ignited the fire that was
burning within me, and every word that fell from his lips seemed to
increase that inferno that was now nearly out of control.

I fisted his shirt in my hands and slowly drew him
toward me, desperate now for his taste on my tongue. His eyes
shifted slightly, as if to ask if I was sure. Oh how I was sure.
I’d been without this man for far too long and we had way too much
to make up for.

Our mouths were a mere breath away from each other’s
when he whispered, “Please tell me I’m not dreaming this, because
you’re all I’ve thought about, night after night.”

“It’s no dream Preston. Kiss me. Now.”

He crushed his lips to mine and dear God, how I had
missed the feel of him, the taste of him, the scent of him.
Avery-kitty started to loudly purr once again. Preston’s tongue
danced with mine as he tasted every secret place in my mouth. His
arms held me tightly to him, but the best part of all was when he
began whispering how much he loved me against my lips.

When we had to break apart to breathe, he walked us
backward to the bed and pulled me on top of him as he fell back on
it.

“Avery, please tell me to stop if you don’t want
this. I’ll let you be our guide. But I’d just be happy to hold you
all night, if that’s all right.”

“Don't stop. I want to touch you.
All over. Now.”

“I think that can be arranged,” he smiled.

He flipped so I ended up on my back and he rolled
over so he could strip off his clothing. I grinned as I enjoyed the
divine view. He was, as usual, perfectly sculpted and beyond eye
pleasing. When he was naked, he came to me, took my hands and
pulled me to my feet. He ran his fingers beneath the hem of my
sweater and slowly drew it up and over my head. My breath quickened
when I felt the cool air caress my skin. His hands reached behind
me and unclasped my bra, but I was surprised when he didn’t
immediately remove the damn thing. I went to shrug it off, until he
placed his hands on my arms, stopping any movement.

“You want me to keep it on?” I asked.

“Huh uh,” was all I got back. That is until his head
dropped down to the strap that had slipped down my arm. He looked
up at me then, smiled, and with his teeth, pulled the bra off of
me.

I released my breath through my lips, trying to
control that fire had now turned my blood into liquid heat. His
tongue quickly made its way to my pebbled nipples, and I groaned,
“I think I’m going to fall.”

“I won’t let you fall Avery. Ever.”

His mouth returned to my breasts, teasing and
sucking my nipples until I didn’t think my body could stand it any
longer.

Then he undid my jeans, slid them off my hips and
stood there and stared. This was the part I hated because I felt I
was on display.

“Please let me have my moment babe.
You’re so damn hot.”

I bowed my head, unable to look at him. It was just
too uncomfortable and I’d never be at ease like this.

I felt his arms go around me and then I was spun
around so my back was flush against his chest. He held me close to
him like that as his hands slid all around me. I leaned my head
back and rested it on his shoulder.

“Is this what you want?” he asked me. His hands were
moving to places that had my blood burning and my sex craving
him.

“No, I don’t like that very much Preston. You’re
going to have to do a bit better than that,” I teased.

He was fast. Really fast. I was tossed on the bed on
my stomach and he was straddling me before I could form a thought.
I felt his hands everywhere, massaging, manipulating, and soon his
tongue went there too. Not long after that, I was a moaning mass of
orgasmic activity. Preston did much better. In fact, he created a
howling creature out of me.

After he was satisfied that I was satisfied, we made
slow, deliberate, passionate love as we looked into each other’s
eyes and held onto each other’s hands. It was sensual, erotic,
primal, but soulful and heartwarming all the same. Yeah, I had
certainly missed this, much more than I had admitted to myself.

Chapter 26

Preston

The room was warm enough and the heat from our
bodies made covers unnecessary, which was great by me. It made it
easier to enjoy the dips and hollows of Avery’s curves, as we lay
together afterwards.

We had lots of things that needed discussing...so
many things. I refused to skim over anything, because I wanted for
her to be certain she was making the right choices this time
around.

“Avery, I’ll go where ever you want to go, but you
have to keep in mind that I am a messed up guy,” I began.

She groaned. “I was hoping we wouldn’t have to
discuss this tonight.”

“There is only one thing that I’m
certain of in life, and it’s your happiness. That’s paramount to
me. I’m willing to forego anything to be certain that happens. I’d
like to talk about this so we can move forward, if that’s what you
still would like to do. Babe, you know everything about me. Well,
almost. There are some details about my past I’ve not
shared...things that are fairly unpleasant and that I don’t speak
of to anyone. Other than those, you know my past. I won’t sugarcoat
things with you. I’m not that guy who leads the charmed life of
perfection, where everything falls into place perfectly. In fact,
my life has gone quite the opposite for me. But I’m loyal, I’ll
always have your back, I’ll always do my best to protect you at all
costs and you’ll have my undying love, whether you want it or not,
forever. So the question now becomes whether you want me in your
life as is.”

She ran her hand across my chest until she got to
the tattoo of the sun that was obscured by the clouds. Once there,
she fingered it lightly and then bent her head to trace it lightly
with her tongue. Heat built in me then and I was afraid she was
trying to distract me, so I called her on it.

“Your mouth is perfect, but are you trying to
distract me, because you already know you do a damn good job of
it.”

“I don’t want to think about this stuff right now.
It’s been too long since I’ve touched you and kissed you. I only
want that right now. Not words and talk of how fucked up you are.
Okay?”

“Fair enough.” She’d made her point. We’d return to
this conversation in the morning or soon after that. But she’d have
her way tonight.

The rest of the Christmas night we alternated
between making love, sleeping, kissing, touching, and other things,
but we never talked about anything serious.

Once during the night, when she was sound asleep,
she awakened me. Initially, I didn’t understand what was happening.
All I heard was her voice.

“Please Preston, don’t leave me.” She was weeping,
her cheeks wet from her tears. I was disoriented and couldn’t
figure out why she was saying this. “Don’t leave again. Please. I
don’t ever want you to go away from me.”

She was dreaming; it finally dawned on me. Gathering
her into my arms, I held her close to me and softly spoke to her,
telling her I would be by her side forever, if she’d have me. I
caressed her back and arms, dried her tears with my thumbs and
continued to talk to her, until she became calm and slept
peacefully once more.

********

Avery was still sleeping when I awakened. Not
wanting to disturb her, I gently disentangled myself from her arms
and slid out of bed. The night’s memories washed over me like a
soothing balm, but I worried nonetheless over how she would react
once she woke up. Would she regret what had taken place? Would she
want to discuss the future? Was there even a future for us?

I washed my face and brushed my teeth and then
looked at myself in the mirror. My reflection didn’t show what was
in my heart or mind. In truth, I was scared to death. Yeah, I had
contingency plans in place if things didn’t go the way I wanted
them to, but my life wouldn’t be worth a damn.

Avery was everything to me. These last few months
had proved that. She would have to decide what she wanted of her
own accord. I promised myself I would do anything to win her back,
but if she decided that wasn’t what she wanted, I would leave her
and not bother her again.

When I got back to the bed, she was just beginning
to wake up.

“Good morning there,” I whispered as I gathered her
close to me.

“Hmm,” she hummed as she stretched. Then she curled
back next to me, putting her face into the curve of my neck. I
could feel her breath as it fanned across me, and my body tightened
in response.

Her arm reached across my chest as her fingers began
to play with the piercing on my left nipple.

“If you do that too much longer, I’ll have to do
something about it, you know.”

“Uh huh. But let me have a minute first.” Her lips
brushed mine, very briefly, and then she rose from the bed.

“Where are you going?”

“Where do you think?” She gave me one of her funny
head jerks. I deserved it. She had to use the restroom. I was such
an idiot sometimes.

When she returned, she grinned and said, “Besides, I
wasn’t going to let you kiss me after you brushed your teeth and I
didn’t.”

“You’re such a baby. Like I would care.”

“I know you wouldn’t, but I would. So, where were
we?”

“Why don’t you hop on board and I’ll show you?”

“Oh, so is this a train or something?”

“Oh Avery, it’s much better than a train.” I
laughed.