KNOT: A Wake Family Novel (34 page)

Her foot?

I thought her friends had canceled that night. I watched her sway a little and hold her foot out, “That’s right. Good as new.”

They didn’t cancel?

She’d stayed on her own.

I didn’t even care that she’d lied.

Penelope smiled sympathetically, and Justin clapped his hands, “Good, I’m glad you were able to make it this time, and bring Reggie, too. It’ll be a great break for all of us.”

“Yes, it’s nice to meet you,” Nora replied to my colleague. It was a little peculiar wondering what Tuesday would be like in the office after this long weekend. But he didn’t seem to mind we were there, so I didn’t dwell on it.

I was still going to try. Maybe even harder now to prove I could adjust—prove it to myself.

“Well,” he started and looked from me to Nora, then to Janel and Ives. “Real quick, Janel and Ives, I’m guessing you’ve met Calvin and Tracy.” The other couple waved from where they stood next to Nora’s friends; we waved back. Then, Justin continued, “And Brad and Courtney just ran up to their room. They’re on a fertility schedule, so it’ll definitely be a fun weekend for them, although we might not see them much.”

Collectively, everyone laughed, and so did I. But what I was still stuck on was the revelation of Nora having backed out on her friends our first night together.

She had chosen to stay. All on her own.

Why didn’t she want me to know?

Drinks flowed. We swam and laid in the sun. Denise grilled, and leisurely, we ate and sat around. It was a very laid back afternoon spent getting to know the people who were there with us.

Evening turned into night, the mood was tranquil. Most everyone was tipsy and laughter filled the air. Justin started a fire in the impressive stone and glass fire pit on the lower portion of the patio nearest the lake, and soon everyone was there on the plush seating that surrounded it.

“So now were considering IVF, and it’s a pain in the ass,” Courtney said and looked up at her husband. He gazed down at his wife lovingly and kissed her nose. They were an ideal couple. Brad was a physical therapist, and Courtney was a stay at home mother to their only child who had some health issues.

Through the flicker of the fire, I watched him whisper something into her ear. Her eyes closed as he spoke, then she nodded.

Nora was on my lap, in the massive club chair we shared. Her legs sideways over my thighs, one arm loosely wrapped around my neck, the other holding the wine she’d switched to.

If she wasn’t careful, she’d overdo it. It had been a long day of drinking, I’d already began nursing my beers, slowing myself down.

No one spoke, the only sounds were the water lapping against the dock several feet away and the crackle of the blue and orange fire.

Then, Brad kissed his wife. It wasn’t a mild meshing by any stretch.

I felt like I should look away, like I was poaching on someone else’s ground. Invading their privacy. I looked around the long semi-circle couch from them, where Calvin and Tracy sat, noticing
his
hand was already dipped into the side of his wife swimming suit.

I swallowed, took a few breaths, and considered excusing us.

Would she want to stay? Even if I left?

I could try harder. It was the first damn night, and thankfully, I didn’t feel like I was in territorial mode. In fact, all afternoon everyone had been indeed respectful. There hadn’t been any wandering eyes or seedy behavior.

I could try this. For her. I could give this to her.

Besides that, as I looked around the fire, I saw no shame, only serenity. I could use some of that.

My breathing picked up, not sure what I should do.

“We don’t have to do anything,” Nora cooed in my ear, as if she’d read my mind.

There’s that voice. I’d missed that timbre, and it relaxed me further.

Justin and his wife were the only couple who had excused themselves for the night already. Penelope wanted to check on her horses before it got too late. So that eased my mind as well.

Nora lifted my nearly empty beer from my hand and placed it on the table behind her, and when she stretched, her ass ground down into me. The hand I’d cradled underneath her flexed into her warm side.

When she was settled again, she tipped her wine glass to my lips and let me drink from it. “No one will touch us, Reagan. We can just watch,” she purred.

So I watched, and I drank from her glass each time she lifted it to my mouth.

Courtney straddled her husband as he untied the back of her suit top. I was staring through the flames at them, guilty and voyeuristic at the same time. My dick growing harder as I watched Courtney bend backward while Brad laved at her breasts like they were alone. Or like I’d only done when
alone
with a woman.

The wine glass empty and discarded, Nora rested her head on my shoulder, and her hand rubbed my chest. My hips bucked more into Nora’s suit covered bottom when Courtney crawled to the ground below where Brad sat, and her head bobbed as she began sucking him in front of us.

My free hand reached around the front of us and palmed the cheek of Nora’s ass, needing to feel the pressure of her against my cock. I pulled my eyes from the different displays happening in front of me and turned my attention to the siren on my lap.

She lifted her chin to me, dreamy—almost sleepily looking—grey-blue eyes met mine. It was hard to read her.

Was she as turned-on as I was? Surely, this was old hat for her.

Was she drunk? That was a very good possibility.

Or was she simply tired? It had been a long day.

Regardless, the answer to all three questions was the same.

Take her to bed.

“Everyone calls you Reggie,” she stated quietly to me, face to face. The fire cast a warm glow on her sun-ripened skin.

“What do you want to call me?” It was becoming inconsequential. Except, I thought, in the bedroom. If not anywhere else, that’s where I needed to be Reagan with her.

“I don’t know,” she tipped her head in thought. “I’m not sure I know who I’m with.”

I wasn’t completely tuned out with what was happening around us, there was moaning and other sounds that only had one origin, but I focused on her.

“It’s me,” I said.

“Yeah, but you have two different versions.”

Touché.

I let her go on, not interrupting her thought. I relished the moments when she was like that. Sweet and honest. Sexy and innocent at the same time.

“You have a bit of Jekyll and Hyde in you.
Reggie
and
Reagan
.”

I had to smile because it was true. I couldn’t argue. She paid attention to me well.

I tipped my chin at her and queried, “Who do you like better?”

A tempting grin spread across her face, and she replied, “Please, don’t make me choose. You’re perfect for me—two men in one.”

My mouth sought hers, and she kissed me back in earnest. I craved all of her, but I didn’t feel the need to share anymore. They’d had enough of her for the day.

“Take me to bed,” she requested around my lips. “I want you.
Please
.”

I picked her up, behind the knees and under her arms, how she sat in my lap. Thankfully I was steady because I hadn’t over indulged. I wasn’t keen on drinking too much and taking medicine, especially away from home. I didn’t want to drop her, but at the same time, I wasn’t about to fucking let her go.

“Goodnight, everybody,” she said in a soft voice over my shoulder to the group. I didn’t even look back. Then, as I climbed the well-lit steps to the main house, she sucked and kissed my neck, my shoulder, and my chest.

I did my best to ignore her as I made my way up the stairs to our room, finding it wasn’t that challenging opening a door with her in my arms.

I didn’t even set her down as I climbed atop the bed.

I was grateful the day had been kind to us. That, even though it was a completely foreign experience to what I’d had in the past, I hadn’t let it divert me from giving her what she asked of me. I was open-minded, and honestly, I’d enjoyed myself.

An accomplishment, regardless of how minor in the broad scheme of things, the day was a success.

Any day where I carried her to bed, hearing she wanted me, was a victory.

“I’ll call you Reagan, if you call me baby,” she said, and she kissed her way down my stomach and wrapped her mouth around me.

Nora—Sunday, September 19, 2010

I
stared down at him, I felt my body move, but I was somewhat disconnected. I was in a different place, a different time. It was like a dream.

“You haven’t called me baby, in a long, long time.” I ached to hear it, and admitting that was hard but true.

He said he’d never get his fill of me, and there in that bed in Somewhere, Oregon, I felt much the same. He’d never get enough, and sadly I’d never have enough to give him.

“You haven’t seemed like her in a long, long time.”

“She misses you.” My eyelids lowered and rose, but at a snail’s pace.

“When you popped up again, I thought that was our chance.” He continued to talk, all the while teasing me. Coaxing me.

But that didn’t make any sense, he was the one who ran out of the courthouse. I might have been hurt and scared, but he’s the one who ran away from me.

Well, at least the last time.

“I thought it was, too.”

He climbed up the bed, sideling himself between my legs, but not so much that he pressed against me where I wanted him.

“Where did the man, who always looked for a way go? The one who needed all the answers.”

The familiar feeling of a storm brewed in my chest.

We lay very still and spoke words I never thought I’d hear. Words so heavy they almost crushed me straight through the ground, forcing me into the Hell I knew was waiting.

“He gave up, baby.”

Nora—Thursday, September 25, 2008

The summer faded quickly after Labor Day, which had been an interesting weekend. After that Friday night, I felt so many things I’d never experienced. We actually spent most of the day on Saturday to ourselves. Aside from dinner, and a few drinks afterward, we were in our room.

Then, we came back to the city on Sunday. Reagan’s excuse was because he didn’t want to fight the holiday traffic, which I sort of believed. Traffic gave him anxiety.

Leaving early didn’t bother me though.

He’d tried very hard. Exceeded my expectations. Enough, in fact, that I felt like I owed him a debt, but I couldn’t figure out a way to pay it.

I wondered if he would have stayed by the fire with the group, had I not asked him to take me to bed. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer. That night had caused me a lot of confusion.

Those feelings were off and on daily.

Sometimes I overthought everything and wondered where the woman I used to be was—the one who just went with the flow.

Sometimes I thought some of him was rubbing off on me. Parts I liked and parts I hated, ones that made me feel ugly.

I couldn’t get enough of him, then I felt smothering.

I was greedy with our time, but I needed some space to sort out my feelings.