Rico and four other inmates were escorted into the room by a single guard. Rico was the first to walk in, leading the pack like he always did. I stared at him. His stature was still demanding even while incarcerated. His eyes scanned the room in search of me. He soon found me and smiled. I exhaled noisily and rolled my eyes. He came marching my way with this confident stride, and as handsome as he was, he was the ugliest person in the room.
“You look good, baby,” he greeted me, with open arms and a grin.
“Thanks,” I dryly responded, still seated.
“What, I can't get a hug and kiss?”
“It ain't like that wit' us,” I frankly told him.
“Then make it like that wit' us,” he said seriously.
I stared at him, knowing he was trying to make an impression in front of his fellow inmates. He couldn't be seen being disrespected and dissed by a beautiful woman like meâhis woman. I stood up and halfheartedly hugged him and then gave him a quick peck on the lips. Rico looked for more, but there wasn't any more coming from me. We took our seat next to each other and I crossed my legs opposite his way.
“How you been and where's my son?” he asked.
“I didn't bring him.”
“Why not?”
“Because I didn't. It ain't like you be playing wit' him or paying him any attention while he here like that,” I said.
“Sammy, why you be trippin'?”
“'Cause you make me trip,” I spat.
“Listen, I ain't got time to argue wit' you,” he said.
“
Puede ser un idiota,
” I cursed in Spanish.
“You better watch ya mouth,” he uttered.
I waved him off.
“Anyway, you thought about my proposal?” he asked.
“Rico, I'm not marrying you.”
“What? Why not?”
“Seriously, you think I wanna marry you, after everything you put me through and you being in here for how long?
Debes estar loco.
”
“I wasn't asking,” he warned.
“You know what, you can threaten me all you want, and if you're that cold to have the mother of your son locked up, then go to hell,” I told him angrily.
“We can talk 'bout that some other time, but I want you to become my wife.”
The muthafucka was impossible to talk to and reason with. It was like trying to squeeze water from a rock. I sat there with him and listened though. He asked me a few questions, about Edenwald and Danny. I told him what was going on in the Bronx. Then he asked me about Mouse.
“You seen or talk to her lately?”
I was dumbfounded. He knew Mouse and I didn't talk to each other at all. I had no idea what was going on with her. He ruined that relationship between us. He tore our friendship apart. He instigated shit and looked proud at his work.
“You know I don't talk to her,” I said.
“I been tryin' to reach her, but she ain't nowhere to be found,” he told me.
I sat there deadpan, not caring what he had to say about Mouse.
“I want her to come visit me. I wanna see my daughter,” he had the nerve to say.
I chuckled lightly at his twisted reasoning of having Mouse come to visit. I guessed he wanted to control her like he was trying to do me. But Mouse, even though we weren't speaking, I give it to her, she completely cut Rico out of her life: no letters, no phone calls, and not any pictures of his daughter, nothing. He had no clue where she was. I only wished I had that same luxury she had.
“Don't talk to me 'bout Mouse,” I rebuked him.
“You need to see what's up wit' her fo' me,” he had the audacity to say.
“Are you fuckin' kidding me?” I said through clenched teeth. “You must have lost ya damn mind.”
“I didn't lose anything.”
He could have fooled me. He sat there, stern face aimed at me. I was silent. He added, “I just need to talk to her.”
“And I'm the messenger,” I replied.
“If you see her around, tell her I want to see her.”
I wasn't telling her shit and I wasn't trying to look for her either. But I didn't tell Rico that. I straightforwardly replied, “Whatever.”
Rico continued talking and I was barely listening. I thought about the hourly trip I had to take back to New York by bus. It sucked not having a car. It sucked to visit a man you despised, but he had this black cloud lingering over my head that I was almost like a puppet on a string.
As the visit moved forward, Rico leaned closer to me and said in a low tone, “Look, I'm gonna need you to do me a favor in a few weeks.”
I frowned at doing him any favors. Doing favors for Rico was risky and I knew what he was about to ask me wouldn't be any different. I didn't reply. He continued running his mouth. “I'm gonna need you to sneak some stuff inside for me.”
The look I gave him, he already knew my answer.
“Don't look at me like that,” he said.
“You must be stupid,” I spat through gritted teeth.
“Listen, the show don't stop wit' me being locked up in here,
entender
,” he said. “I got a connect outside who needs to bring a small package inside. I thought about you.”
“I'm glad to be ya first choice,” I replied sarcastically.
“Don't get fuckin' smart.”
I wanted to smack him. But there was no way I was going to risk my freedom by helping Rico sneak in drugs, I assumed. But he didn't care; he was a self-centered prick who thought about himself.
“I'll talk to you 'bout the details later,” he said.
I didn't say yes, but he was already scheming and involving me.
The visit was finally over and I couldn't wait to leave his side and head back home. He wanted a hug and kiss before my departure, but I refused to show him any affection that I didn't have for him. I walked away without a good-bye and left him there in awe. The farther I got away from him, the better.
I had to do something about Rico, because if I didn't, he was gonna be like herpes: no matter how many times you treated it, it was always gonna come back.
Chapter Twelve
Mouse
It was a warmer night than usual with remnants of the last snowfall on the ground melting every day. Hunts Point was quiet tonight, traffic was light, and clientele felt like it was drying up. I strutted up and down Oak Point Avenue watching and waving at every passing car, but they weren't stopping. Erica was on one side of the street and me on the other. Tonight, I decided to look cute since it was fifty degrees and mild. I had on a pair of black pumps, tight jeans that accentuated my curves, and a leather jacket, with my sensuous long hair falling down to my back. I smoked a cigarette and couldn't believe I was still out here. I wasn't trying to get used to sucking dick and fucking strangers, but it became a job.
I turned the corner and started to walk down Longfellow Avenue, near the small park. It was dark and I was bored. My last date was an hour ago, and he only wanted a blowjob. I sucked his dick so good, I made that white boy's forehead cave in and had him coming like a geyser in the condom. He was nice, came fast, and his dick was average. I still hated turning these tricks, but I found a way to cope with it. I would close my eyes and think about something else pleasing, like playing with my daughter and finally doing for her, or recite a rhyme or poem in my head, maybe think about a future with prosperity, a loving man, living in the suburbs, something to make me forget that my face was in a nigga's lap with his dick down my throat or spread out in the car with stranger's dick inside of me.
I walked down Longfellow Avenue and the second I hit the corner, I noticed a red Honda Accord hastily pull up next to me with the windows rolling down and hearing rap music blaring. Instantly, I got nervous and was ready to flee. Stick-up kids, I thought, or was it the police? I couldn't outrun anyone in these heels and felt I should have worn my boots or sneakers. I stood there feeling my heart pound rapidly inside my chest and my eyes stuck on the car.
“Diamond,” I heard him call out.
Fixated on the passenger door opening, I took a few steps back. If it was any danger, I had two choices: either fight or flee. I quickly removed a sharp razor from my pocket and held it in my hand. I was ready to protect myself and give whoever it was a very rude awakening.
But then I felt a little relief when I saw it was Tango climbing out of the car. He was all smiles, very excited to see me. “Diamond, I been lookin' fo' you,” he said lively.
He had me nervous at first, but I never saw anyone so happy to see me. I mean, the look on his face looked like he had just won the lotto or something. It was all because of me. He approached and said, “I wanna date.”
I looked inside the idling car and he didn't come alone. The driver behind the wheel was watching me too, and creeping me the fuck out. “I don't do doubles,” I told him.
“Don't worry 'bout my man, he ain't gonna fuck wit' you. He just my ride out here, that's all,” said Tango.
I was still worried. I didn't know him like that either. “Still, I feel uncomfortable getting in the car with two men,” I let it be known.
“A'ight, I got you, beautiful,” he said. “I'ma take care of it.”
Hearing him always call me beautiful, it made me smile inside and blush. The way Tango looked at me, like I was more of a queen than some whore working the blocks at Hunts Point, it was the way every woman wanted to be looked at. His eyes spoke volumes toward me.
I watched Tango walk back to the car and climb inside. He started saying something to the driver. The driver glanced back at me and then turned his attention back to Tango. A few more words were said, and next thing I knew, they were both climbing out of the car. Tango waved me over. “C'mon, let's go.”
I was confused.
“He gonna chill out here fo' a minute, while we do our thang,” said Tango.
I walked toward the Accord skeptically. The driver seemed aloof about the whole thing. He stood on the sidewalk while Tango got behind the wheel and had me get in on the passenger side. I looked back at the male; he was average height with dreads and black as coal.
“You sure he's cool 'bout waiting out here? I mean, this is Hunts Point and it ain't that warm,” I said.
“Yo, you ain't gotta worry 'bout my nigga; he ain't worried âbout nuthin' out here. He a 'bout it nigga fo' real and he can handle his own. Besides, he owes me,” Tango said.
I shrugged.
Tango put the car in drive and we slowly drove away. I sat back and for some strange reason, it felt good seeing him again. It had been a couple of days since our last sexual encounter and I would be lying if I didn't say he came into my mind since then.
“I miss you,” Tango said to me.
“You do?”
“Hells yeah, since you left, I've been thinkin' 'bout you every day.”
“You lying.”
“Nah, I'm serious. Yo, just being next to you right now got a nigga feeling all jolly and shit.”
I chuckled.
“And you lookin' so fuckin' sexy, beautiful. When you gonna marry me?” he asked as a joke.
“When you put a ring on my finger,” I joked back.
“I can do that tomorrow.”
“You know I was just playin' right?”
“I wasn't,” he let be known with a serious face.
Wow. Tango was very forward and rough around the edges, but once again, he made me feel wanted and beautiful. It was crazy. I knew what I was about to do with him, suck his dick and fuck him, but the way he went about it, not making me feel trashy and used, it stirred something gushy up inside of me.
He parked somewhere secluded. He killed the ignition, looked at me, and said, “I know your time is money, so how much do I owe you?”
“What do you want?”
“A half hour of your time. I just wanna be wit' you; we ain't even gotta fuck right now.”
“I charge a hundred for that,” I said.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a few twenties. He handed me a hundred dollars in twenties. I collected my fee and placed it somewhere safe. I could feel Tango's eyes all over me, admiring my nice body in the attire I wore and yearning for me. I smiled. He was really making me smile and it was nothing fraudulent about it, like how I did my other dates.
“You got a nice smile, Diamond,” he said.
Diamond. I had him thinking my name was Diamond. I was tempted to be honest with him, but then common sense came to me and warned me that I still didn't know this man. I just met him a few days ago and it would be idiotic to tell him my government name.
I leaned toward him and kissed the side of his neck while my touch fondled his crotch. I felt him growing hard. I felt the blood rushing inside of him. I felt his eagerness to have me. He undid his pants and whipped out his pleasure. It stood full staff, ready for me to please it with whatever tool, mouth or pussy.
“You missed me, huh?” I whispered sensually in his ear.
“I did.”
“You missed my good, tight, and wet punani?”
“I wanna feel every bit of you, Diamond. You turn me the fuck on.”
This time, he pulled out the condom, Magnum of course. He tore it opened and put it on. I lowered my lips to his big, fat and black dick and engulfed the mushroom tip with my full lips. He moaned the minute I tasted him. He reclined in the chair and allowed my lips to work his flesh. I sucked and sucked, feeling his penis throb inside my mouth.
“Ugh, ugh,” he moaned, as he massaged my backside.
My head bobbed up and down in his lap. I cupped his balls and worked my magic. I gave him good head for several minutes and then removed my jeans and panties and straddled him in the front seat, feeling his dick speared through me. Tango held me close and passionately, he kissed me all over with affection as he fucked me like a Mandingo warrior. I couldn't help but to melt and coo in his grasp. He opened my pussy up with his big dick like a doorway.
When he came, it felt like the ground shook underneath us. He shuddered and thrust upward inside of me, releasing every bit of man juice into the latex. He huffed and puffed, feeling sexually satisfied. I didn't climb off the dick right away. He held me in his arms, not wanting to let me go. Then he said, “I never wanna let you go.”
It was sweet, but this wasn't the place or time to be romantic. He paid me for sex and it's what he got. I wasn't his boo and he wasn't my man to cozy with. For a moment, he sucked on my nipples with his dick still rooted inside of me. The thrill was gone and I felt the dick becoming flaccid. I finally got off the dick and got dressed. I still had to make some money. Tango pulled up his jeans and said, “I wanna continue to see you.”
“You know where I'm always at,” I said.
“Nah, I mean, I wanna take you out.”
I looked his way. He was serious. “I don't date my clients,” I frankly replied.
“Client? I'm not tryin' to be ya client, luv. I wanna see you.”
“Look, Tango, ya sweet and all, but what's the catch? The game you playin' wit' me?” I replied sternly.
“Ain't no game, I'm always fo' real. I like what I see and I want sumthin' more. I just came home after doin' a dime and I need sumthin' real in my life,” he countered.
“And you think I'm real?”
“What, you ain't?”
I sighed. “This is me, a whore, a fuckin' prostitute workin' Hunts Point. I ain't got shit to my name. I just came out a shelter; I got a one-year-old daughter, no degree, and an uncertain future. This is what you want? A bitch suckin' and fuckin' niggas night after night, that's the type of bitch you want in your life?”
“Ain't nobody perfect, Diamond,” he firmly countered. “I'm fresh home tryin' to make it and survive. I got several years of parole wit' a dyke-ass parole officer up my ass just itchin' fo' me to fuck up so she could violate my ass. I got kids I don't even see like that or know where they at, 'cause my baby mamas snatched them up and left the state. And what you do out here, it don't faze me, 'cause you know why? If you wit' me, I'ma make sure my woman is okay and taken care of. It's what I do.”
He words were touching, but I heard it all before, especially with Rico.
“So I guess we both fucked up, huh?” I said, smiling.
“I guess we are. And one thing, Diamond, you ain't no ho. I see it in ya eyes that this ain't you. You just doin' this to live, take care of ya seed. I don't knock anybody's hustle, 'cause at the end of the day, ain't nobody tryin' to pay our bills and take care of us. You do what you gotta do for you and yours,” he proclaimed.
I nodded. “You ain't lying.”
“I been through hell and back, and I'm still here, still alive and tryin' to climb this steep fuckin' hill.”
I looked at him. He was attractive and into me. His eyes weren't lying about his feelings for me, I assumed. When Tango looked at me, it was with intensity and passion. We talked and somewhat connected.
“I have to be honest wit' you,” I started, hoping I wasn't going to regret admitting this to him. “My name really isn't Diamond; it's Mouse.”
“Mouse. That's cute. I like it.”
“Yeah, that's my name.”
“Well, I'm still Tango.” He laughed.
I laughed too. It was always great when a man makes you laugh.
I felt something with him. Our chemistry was mixing strongly, and before I knew it, an hour had almost passed with us still talking in the car. He forgot about his friend on the corner and I forgot about working the track.
We hurried back to where he picked me up at, and his friend was still loitering on Longfellow and Drake Park Street. He was smoking a cigarette, talking on his cell phone, and didn't seem to be upset that we took really long to come back.
“You sure he ain't mad?” I said to Tango.
“That's my dude; he ain't mad. The nigga owe me a lot,” Tango replied.
“A'ight,” I said.
I was about to exit the car, but Tango gently took a hold of my forearm and gazed at me. He said to me, “I want you in my life, Mouse.”
It all sounded nice, but it needed to be more show than tell. “If you want me, make it happen,” I said to him.
“And I will.”
I got out the car with his friend walking our way. He looked at me and didn't grimace or complain not one bit about standing almost an hour on the corner and in the cold. He actually smiled at me and got in on the passenger side. It was strange, but I didn't object. I guessed Tango had it like that. He seemed like a boss nigga before he was locked up and still now when he was home.
I watched the red Accord drive away and didn't know what to think of it. Was Tango really for real? Did he really like me that much? Would I be a fool to let an ex-con into my life? There were so many questions spinning around in my head. It was going on one in the morning and the night had been slow. Tango was the only live point of the night.
It would be another forty minutes until I caught another date. He was an ugly Hispanic looking for a blowjob. Like routine, he parked somewhere secluded, the parking lot of a mechanic shop closed down for the night, and I threw the condom on and wrapped my lips around his small dick and pleased him. I didn't want to do this anymore. I didn't want to continue degrading myself over and over again. I didn't want to feel trapped and burnt out in a year or two doing this. So if Tango was for real, which I hoped he was, and would be a man and rescue me from this world, I swore on everything I would be his loyal fuckin' bitch until the day I died. That's if he was man enough to become a one-woman man. I was tired of being lied to, used, and abused.