Labradoodle on the Loose (14 page)

‘Because he dumped her, didn't he, Mummy?' said listen-at-doors Flo.

‘Dumped isn't a nice word to use, Flo, but yes, they've split up.'

My grin started at one ear lobe and finished at the other. No more spotty boyfriend, no more snogging in the front room, no more Friday night suppers with the love-birds cooing at each other.

And if Jamie had split up with Callum too, then things couldn't get much better.

I met Fifty on the way to school as normal. We got there before Bee but after Copper Pie and Jonno, as normal. We hung around on our patch, as normal. I like normal – it means we're not in trouble.

Normal didn't last long, however. There were two odd things in our classroom, completely unrelated. The fancy new whiteboard had turned smeary pink, and Callum wasn't at school. Miss Walsh didn't read out his name so she must have known already. Mums are meant to call in if you're off sick, so the school doesn't send the truancy officer round. I looked round at Jamie. He looked just as angry as the last time I saw him, marching out of the art room. Something was definitely up.

Alice asked why the board was pink.

‘There was an accident,' said Miss Walsh.

‘Is it ruined?' said Alice. ‘It looks ruined.'

‘Geography books out, please, and turn to the maps we drew last week.' Miss Walsh didn't want to discuss the board. Pity. It was hard to imagine what made it prawn colour.

At break our patch got a bit crowded. Lily, Ed and Marco came over and joined the Tribers to deliver the breaking news, CNN-style. Lily was the newsreader with the dynamite headline.

‘Callum's been suspended.' She paused for maximum dramatic effect. ‘He insulted Miss Walsh.'

It was a short news bulletin, with nowhere near enough information. The news team were bombarded with questions: What did he say? When did he say it? How do you know? The answers were: Don't know. Don't know. Jamie told Ed.

‘Go and find out more,' said Bee to Ed. Bee is used to being obeyed, but not this time.

‘Jamie won't say anything else. He's being really strange about it all. It's like
he's
been suspended, not Callum.' The news team disappeared to tell the rest of the playground.

Break was too short. Getting rid of Callum was like a Tribe birthday present, and we couldn't stop talking about it. Copper Pie was made up. They're in the football team together. C.P. calls him Hog.

As we filed back into class, the main topic was the chance of suspension becoming exclusion.

‘Depends what he said to her,' said Bee.

‘Same,' said Fifty.

When I walked in I heard Alice say, ‘I can't bear the smell, miss.' She wasn't wrong. It smelt like it came from one of those cans which has a big black cross on the back and a massive warning saying,
Only use in well ventilated areas
and gives you an instant headache. The caretaker, who is whiskery like a walrus, snarled at Alice and shuffled off.

‘It'll be gone in no time,' said Miss Walsh. ‘Would you please open that window, Jonno.' The smell was coming
from the whiteboard, which was white again.

‘What was the accident that made the board pink, Miss?' said Alice.

‘Oh Alice!' She smiled. ‘If only you were as interested in your work as you are in all the other aspects of what goes on in the school.' But the smile was pure venom. Jamie and Alice are the two kids in our class that drive Miss Walsh mad (followed by the Tribers).

No one played up for the whole of the rest of the morning because Miss Walsh was giving out don't-mess-with-me vibes. Callum was well out of it.

We had sausages – everyone's favourite (except Bee's – she had a jacket potato). Jamie sat at the next table with some kids from Year 5. I almost (only almost) felt sorry for him. Having no friends is pretty grim. We cleared our table and went outside to find Lily waiting on our patch.

‘Callum didn't
say
anything to Miss Walsh,' she said. ‘He
wrote
something. On the whiteboard. With red paint.' She paused a few times to make the point. ‘That's why it was pink. That's why Walrus was cleaning it.'

‘How do you know?' said Fifty.

‘Walrus told Miss Maggs, and she told me.' Miss Maggs is the playground monitor. She used to like us until Copper Pie got Jonno in a headlock. Jonno's forgiven him, but Miss Maggs doesn't believe in forgiveness.

Lily went off to tell more people. She was obviously enjoying herself. Bee disappeared after her.

‘Those whiteboards are
really
expensive,' said Fifty. ‘He was lucky Walrus got it off.'

‘Why would Callum write something about Miss Walsh on the board in red paint?' said Jonno.