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Authors: T.M. Alexander

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BOOK: Labradoodle on the Loose
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‘Don't know. Don't care,' said Copper Pie. I agreed.

‘It's all quite odd,' said Jonno. ‘I know Callum's got it in for us, but he doesn't go looking for trouble with teachers, or, in fact, the other kids.'

Fifty had a lightbulb moment. ‘Maybe it was because of Jamie. Maybe he couldn't bear Miss Walsh being so nasty to Jamie in art yesterday and so he took revenge.'

Unlikely
, I thought.

‘Unlikely,' said Jonno. ‘They're mates but that would be weird.'

‘That would be like they were in love,' said Fifty. He started singing: ‘Jamie and Callum sitting in the tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love —'

‘Shut it,' said Copper Pie.

‘I wonder what Callum wrote,' I said. The four of us spent the rest of lunch break making suggestions. Copper Pie's were rude. Mine were dull. Jonno hardly thought of any (I don't think he likes being mean) and Fifty's sounded like advertising slogans:
Miss Walsh, stress in a dress. My hair's in a bun, and I'm no fun
.

The bell went so we lined up. Bee came out of the door we were about to go through.

‘Where have you been?' asked Jonno as she slipped in behind us.

‘Interrogating Walrus.'

‘And?' said four voices at the same time.

‘Tell you later,' she said in a very serious voice with a very serious face to match. Even though I didn't really care what was going on with Callum I couldn't help being curious.

Curiouser and Curiouser

After school Bee said, ‘I'll see you at the Tribehouse,' and dashed out of the classroom door before any of us had a chance to say anything. What was she up to?

‘What's Bee up to?' said Fifty.

‘No idea,' I said. I looked at Jonno – he spends more time with her than we do because he sort of shares her dog. He shook his head. It was a mystery.

We turned into the alley just in time to see two figures reach the other end and vanish from view. It looked like Bee and Jamie, but I figured I needed my eyes testing because that was about as likely as me going off with Callum.

OTHER UNLIKELY EVENTS

COPPER PIE eating a green vegetable.

FIFTY deciding to swim the Channel.

JONNO killing the stag beetle that lives in our tree stump.

BEE eating beef-flavour crisps and dropping the packet.

KEENER picking a fight.

‘Was that Jamie?' said Fifty.

‘I think it was,' said Jonno.

I did a ‘maybe' nod, which is like a nod with a wobble halfway down.

‘With Bee?' added Fifty.

‘Traitor,' said Copper Pie.

‘Don't be an idiot,' said Fifty. ‘It must be something to do with Callum. And Walrus. And maybe Jamie. And . . .'

‘And we'll find out at six o'clock,' I said. ‘Tribe meeting.'

‘Same,' said Fifty.

I got to the Tribehouse early because I wanted to know why Bee went to talk to Walrus, and what she'd found out from him, and why she'd walked home with Jamie, second-worst person in our class, school, world, universe, etc. The others had the same idea. We were all ready and waiting ten minutes before the meeting was due to start.

‘Maybe Jamie's kidnapped Bee and is torturing her to find out all the Tribe secrets,' said Fifty.

We all ignored him. He didn't shut up.

‘Maybe Bee has been sprayed with a chemical, the chemical Walrus used on the whiteboard, and the side-effect is that you fall in love with your enemy's deputy.'

‘I like walruses,' said Jonno, He gave us a lecture on them while we waited for Bee. It was better than listening to Fifty.

WHY WALRUSES ARE GREAT

Their tusks, which are their canine teeth, grow a metre long. They use them to haul themselves out of the water and to break holes in the ice from underneath and to fight. They're hugely fat, because they need all the blubber to keep warm, and their heart rate is mega-slow which helps them survive the icy water. Their whiskers are really clever detection devices to find their favourite dinner – shellfish. Their suction is so strong – better than a Dyson – that they can suck a baby seal's brain out through its nose. They live about forty years, weigh as much as 1.5 tons and make lots of noise – mainly snorts and bellows. The scientific name for walrus is Odobenus Rosmarus, which means tooth-walking sea-horse.

We heard Doodle bark and Bee's head poked in the door.

‘Hi,' she said.

‘Go on,' said Fifty. ‘Spill.'

‘OK,' she said. ‘You know Lily told us that Callum had painted on the board.' We all nodded. ‘Well that made me remember something I'd sort of forgotten, something I noticed, but didn't know was going to be important.' She lowered her voice. ‘When Jamie stormed out of art, I saw him shove the red paint up his sweatshirt.' She stopped, moved aside her great big fringe, and looked around, making sure we all understood the point. ‘And that made me wonder how they knew it was
Callum
, and not
Jamie
, who wrote on the board.' She had her hands on her hips – it makes her look like she's boss.

‘Jamie could have given it to Callum,' I said.

‘Maybe,' she said. ‘But that's why I went to talk to Walrus. I wanted to know how they knew it was Callum.'

‘And?' I said. It was like a murder mystery. Colonel Mustard in the conservatory with the lead piping.

‘Callum was caught in the classroom by Walrus. He'd come to mend that window that gets stuck. Callum was standing there on his own and he had red paint on his sweatshirt.'

‘So Jamie gave Callum the paint,' said Jonno.

‘There wasn't any bottle of paint,' said Bee. ‘Not anywhere. I asked him that.'

‘Who cares?' said Copper Pie.

‘I care,' said Bee. ‘Because it doesn't make any sense. I don't
believe Callum would write something about Miss Walsh on the whiteboard with red paint.'

‘I think the police would disagree. The guilty party was caught red-handed, red-sweatshirted, in fact. Case closed,' said Fifty.

‘Red-sweatshirted but no paint bottle anywhere,' said Bee.

‘Bee's thinking more Sherlock Holmes than local cop, aren't you, Bee?' Jonno grinned at her. Sometimes I think they have a mini club of their own with a language we don't understand. I had no idea what he meant but I didn't ask because I didn't want to look stupid. Luckily Copper Pie didn't mind looking stupid.

‘What you on about?'

Jonno sighed as though it was hard explaining things to idiots like us. ‘Sherlock Holmes didn't go looking for obvious clues like blood, or a bullet, or red paint, he sort of studied people's behaviour and knew all sorts of random facts and totally odd things that helped him solve crimes.' Jonno moved his glasses up his nose and actually looked through them for once. ‘Like he could tell from the mud on a shoe where in London that shoe had walked – with a leg in it, of course.'

I was following the Sherlock thing but didn't see what it had to do with Bee's idea that Callum was innocent. Fifty did though.

‘So you think a normal sort of detective would accuse Callum because of the paint on his sweatshirt and because he was in the classroom, but a Sherlock-type of detective would
think about the fact that Callum had no reason to be cross with Miss Walsh and would look for another explanation for the fact he was covered with red paint and standing by the board with something rude written in red paint.'

‘Yes,' said Bee and Jonno together.

Smug pair
, I thought.

‘Did you ask Jamie if
he
did it?' said Fifty.

Bee shook her head. ‘No, of course not. I asked him if Callum was all right. I wanted to see if he looked guilty about Callum being suspended.'

‘And did he?' said Jonno.

‘Not that I could tell,' said Bee. ‘He looked really unhappy, but I'm not convinced that means anything. I asked him if he knew why Callum did it – even though I'm sure he didn't – to see what he'd say but he just shrugged. I couldn't get much out of him. It was like talking to a dummy in a shop window.'

‘How long's Callum been chucked out for?' said Copper Pie.

‘Till he confesses, according to Jamie,' said Bee.

‘So that means he says he didn't do it,' I said.

‘Exactly,' said Bee. ‘Because it wasn't him. And we need to prove it.'

‘Why?' said Copper Pie.

‘Because it's not right,' said Bee. I didn't want to get involved, but Jonno was nodding so that meant two Tribers were on a mission to save the dreaded Callum and two Tribers meant all the Tribers. I waited to hear what the plan was.

No Way, Never

‘No way,' said Copper Pie. ‘No way.' He said it again in case we hadn't understood.

‘Callum won't bite,' said Bee.

‘He might,' said Fifty. I didn't say anything. The idea that Tribe was planning to go round and see Callum hadn't quite managed to penetrate the bit of my brain that thinks. It was like the Jedi popping round to see the Sith.

‘I'm with Bee,' said Jonno. ‘It's serious being suspended. And if it wasn't actually him, that's not right. If Callum's not guilty, someone needs to sort this out.'

But why us?
my brain was shouting.

‘OK,' said Fifty. ‘Why don't we see if Callum's at school tomorrow? If he's not, we'll go round after school. If he is, it must mean someone else has sorted it out.'

‘I'm not going. Full stop.' That was all Copper Pie had to say about it. And it stopped us as well. We moved on to more interesting stuff, like the next Tribe road trip. We all went surfing with my dad one Sunday and everyone was keen to do it again, even Fifty who's not mad about water but liked the hot chocolate, the bacon sarnies and the KitKats.

‘My dad wants to come next time,' said Bee.

‘We don't want any more dads,' said Copper Pie.

‘Same,' said Fifty. ‘Loads of us and one dad is best.'

‘Tell your dad to organise his own surf trip,' said Copper Pie.

‘I'll tell him you said so,' said Bee and stuck out her tongue. That's all it took. A Tribe war broke out which involved pushing and shoving and teasing and then laughing. Meeting over. We did the handshake and left the hut.

On the way home I thought about Callum. If I was suspended, Mum or Dad would have to stay home to look after me. It would probably be Dad because he can work from home but Mum couldn't (unless she invited her patients into our kitchen). If I was at home with Dad and he quizzed me for more than about ten minutes I'd end up confessing everything. So surely Callum's parents would get the truth out of him too. And if it wasn't him that wrote rude words on the whiteboard with red paint, then his parents would find out and they'd tell the school. By the time I got home I was pretty sure that there wouldn't be any need to go visiting the enemy.

Enemy Territory

Callum wasn't at school. Jamie didn't do any shouting out all day. Jamie didn't do anything all day as far as I could tell, except stare at his desk. Bee did plenty. She found out where Callum lives – we knew the road but not the number – and talked us through what she was going to say. Our job was to leave the talking to her. Simple. Except Copper Pie wouldn't come.

‘Go without me,' he said.

‘Come on, it's not the same if we don't all go,' said Fifty. We were in the playground. School had finished ages ago but we were still trying to convince Copper Pie that he had to come to Callum's with us.

‘I've told you. I don't like him. I don't care if he did it or not. I DON'T CARE.' Copper Pie walked off towards
the gates. Jonno did few skips to catch up. The rest of us followed, but quite far behind.

‘Looks like it's just the four of us then,' said Fifty.

Bee sighed. I think she was disappointed in C.P. I was disappointed that I hadn't thought of saying the same as him. I didn't want to go to Callum's either.

‘What if Callum's dad's there?' asked Fifty.

‘What if he is?' said Bee.

‘He might send us away.'

‘Why would he do that? You're such a wimp, Fifty.'

And you're a bit of a bully sometimes, Bee
, I thought. And that thought stayed well inside.

At the end of the alley, Jonno and Copper Pie turned right towards Callum's. Home for all of us is left. I looked at Bee and Fifty with raised eyebrows. They raised their eyebrows back at me. We jogged to catch up. Bee and I went to one side, Fifty went to the other. Copper Pie was surrounded.

‘Are you coming, then?' said Fifty.

‘Looks like it,' said Copper Pie. Jonno had obviously worked some magic. He's good at persuading people, also known as brainwashing.

Callum's house was only three minutes from school. We slowed down as we got nearer, and made a V-formation like birds do, with Bee in the lead in the middle at the front, Jonno one side, Fifty the other and me and Copper Pie behind on the wings. Callum's house didn't have a front garden, the front door was on the pavement. Bee knocked three times. We
waited for the enemy to open the door and let us in.

‘What are you doing here?' said the blond head poking round the door. He didn't open it all the way. Maybe he thought we'd charge in and attack him.

‘We've come because we don't think it was you who painted on the whiteboard,' said Bee. She was straight to the point. Callum didn't seem to know what to say.

‘Is your dad in?' said Fifty. What a stupid thing to ask.

Callum shook his head, opened the door a bit more and said, ‘Are you coming in?'

No
, I thought.

‘Yes, thanks,' said Bee.

Callum turned first right off the hall into the telly room. That gameshow with money in red boxes was on. He pressed mute. I watched anyway.

BOOK: Labradoodle on the Loose
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