Lacrimosa (28 page)
Authors: Christine Fonseca
I bend down and cradle her. Her breath rattles and I know her human lungs have been punctured. “Let go, Nesy. Please. Free yourself.” The words stick in my throat, along with my emotions. I can’t bear watching her die. Not again. Flashes of Elle's broken body bombard my thoughts. “Baby, do this for me. Release yourself. Please.” I push myself into her mind, her heart. Open myself up to her, leaving hidden my plans.
Nesy opens her eyes just as her human body takes one last gasp. I move away from her as she detaches from her human form. She floats through her remains, her angelic skin casting a blinding golden light around the room, illuminating the darkest recesses of the club. Her wings expand to their full height. She draws her sword and faces Azza.
“I am letting you leave, little Sentinal. This time.” Azza stands inches from her face. “But if you interfere in any way with my plans for young Aydan, I will not be so kind again.”
I tug on her arm. “Get out of here before he changes his mind.”
She shoves me away, lifting her sword to Azza. “You’ll never win.”
I grab her arms more firmly and push her through the horde. She wrestles against my grasp. Azza laughs as I push her into the alley.
The wind ruffles her wings and sends a chill through me.
“So this is
your
choice then?” she asks. “Joining Azzaziel?” Her voice quivers with every word.
A vortex opens before I can respond. Her friends, the Mediator and the Anointed, step out.
“Yes,” I say to all of them. “I’ve pledged myself to him. Taken a blood oath.” My focus narrows on the angels. “I have no choice now.”
Please work.
“I won’t let this happen. I’ll find a way to stop you.” She rushes for me, stopped by the Anointed.
“Nesy, your shoulder. You’re hurt.” The Anointed pushes Nesy into the portal. ”You have to let Raphael look at it. Now!”
Nesy takes one last look at me, resigned. A lone tear slides down her face, the only sign of her pain. “I wish I never met you, Aydan. Not in any life. I should’ve killed you that first night in the club.”
“Yes. You should’ve.” Every syllable sticks in my throat.
The portal closes and Nesy fades from view. My own eyes fill with tears. The Mediator steps forward, his dagger drawn.
“You don’t need that,” I say. “I’m not going to hurt either of you.”
The Mediator stiffens and glares at me.
I don’t blame him. I wouldn’t trust me either.
After several moments, the angel stows his weapon. “What happened in there?”
“I threw everything away.” My heart clenches. “I ended Lori’s life.” My hollow voice dies in the air around us.
The Anointed gasps.
“But, not because the Dark One bade you to.” The Mediator continues to stare at me.
“No,” I say. “How did you know that?”
“Lori
asked
you to help her. She wanted you to end her suffering and save Nesy somehow. You…you were merciful with her.”
“I tried to be.”
The Anointed furrows her brow. “I’m lost here. Zane, what’s going on?”
“Search his heart, Cass. He didn’t murder her. He saved her. He even helped her to find peace in the end.”
I feel the Anointed enter my heart. She shuffles through my emotions. Everything I want to hide streams forward at her request.
My torment.
Lori’s suffering.
Mercy.
I can’t watch the pictures rushing past my sight. Can’t feel these feelings again.
I throw her out of my heart and drink the feelings back down, choking on my own betrayal.
“Does she know?” Cass asks.
“No.”
“You have to tell her.” The Anointed again tries to enter my heart.
“No!” The force of my words surprises even me. “She can never find out. If she thinks I’m nothing more than a monster, she’ll find a way to kill me. She’ll call on the Sentinals. She’ll tell Mikayel and he’ll come and end this.” My voice drops to a whisper. “He has to.”
“You want him to kill you?” Zane asks.
“I need him to. Once I’m marked, I won’t be able to control my need to inflict pain and suffering. Mikayel’s sword is the only way now.”
“And you would have Nesy hate you for eternity?” Zane voice holds a mixture of shock and confusion.
“Better her hatred than her death.”
Footsteps resonate in the alley. I tense, worried. “You guys need to leave. I’ve already been gone too long.”
“I was wrong about you, Aydan. Completely wrong. You
are
everything Nesy said you were.” Zane opens a portal. “I’m sorry things have to end this way.”
“You knew there was no other choice. Just make sure she calls on Mikayel. Make sure he comes with his army. He can’t fail.”
The angels step into the portal as I walk to the door. “Nesy can't find out about this or she’ll change her mind and do something foolish. Promise me you won’t tell her. Promise me you’ll make sure she follows through with everything.”
“I promise.” Zane begins to close the gateway.
“Wait,” I turn back to the angels. “When this is over, when I’m dead, tell her I loved her. I have always loved her.”
“I will.”
I watch them fade as Azza spills into the alley. “You weren’t doing anything stupid, were you?”
I swallow my feelings. And face my fate.
Chapter 38 - Pained Vengeance
Nesy
I march into the empty Council chamber, shattering any tranquility around me. I can’t control the emotions flowing through me. The rage.
My anger coils inside, consuming every ounce of love I hold for Aydan. Bathing me in his lies.
Why?
The question tosses, tosses, tosses in me. It doesn’t make sense.
He promised he’d never feed again…
he killed Lori
.
Promised he’d refute his vow…
he’s taking his marks
.
Promised he would love me….
he chose Azzaziel
.
Everything I trusted slips away as I feel the full weight of his betrayal. Gabriel and Mikayel walk into the hall, absorbed in their own conversation.
“Sirs,” I interrupt. Anxiety flutters through my limbs.
“Nesayiel. Why are you here? You were not summoned.” Concern replaces the smile on Gabriel’s face.
“No, I—”
“Then you have finished your task?”
“No.” The words fade from my mind. Along with my resolve.
But not my rage. Never my rage.
“The Council is not in session. If you need to report something, speak with Mikayel.”
I release my torment, letting it seep into the Council Elders.
“I suggest you control your emotions when you come here, Sentinal.” Mikayel’s eyes are as hard as ever. “I assume there is a reason you are here. Or, was my faith in you to finish this unfounded?”
“No more than my faith in you.” The words escape too fast from my lips.
So much for staying calm.
Mikayel’s eyes ignite. “What did you say to me?”
“Enough, Mikayel,” Gabriel says. “This is not the time. I am certain your Sentinal came for a reason.” He faces me, urging me to continue.
“Yes. I did.”
“Well, what is it then?”
“It’s Azzaziel. He’s figured out how to brand Aydan. He’s going to do it. Tonight.”
“Brand...but he would need to have the soul of a Seer for that.”
“He does. Aydan already drank her soul.”
“The Seers are gone. Who did he find?” Gabriel’s mind eases into mine.
I let him see every moment, feel every emotion.
“Oh. I see.”
I look down. I never told them about Lorelei. Never mentioned a Seer. Another failure I’d have to live with.
Assuming I survived the night.
“The human girl?” Mikayel’s voice hinted of a grief and anguish lurking beneath his façade.
Guess I’m not the only one pretending here.
“Yes,” I whisper. “My sister. From Germany.”
“How long have you known? Why did you not tell this Council?”
The weight of Mikayel’s disappointment bears down on me. “It doesn't matter. Not now. All that matters is that we stop him. Before it’s too late.”
“So this is why you’ve come? So I can clean up your mess?”
Enough.
“No! I came so you can end this business with
your friend
once and for all. Before the rest of us have to pay the price,” I fume. “Again.”
“You will hold your tongue, Sentinal, or I will end this conversation now.” Mikayel’s voice echoes throughout the chamber.
I inhale my rage. For now. “Azzaziel wants a war. He wants vengeance on you. That’s his sole motivation for branding Aydan. You must stop him. Bring the Sentinals. Prevent his sacrament before it’s too late.” I struggle to control my breathing. My emotions. “I’ve seen his army of UnHoly. He has thousands. Thousands. “We
must
do something.”
Mikayel’s eyes widen “Yes, we must. Brother,” he says to Gabriel. “It looks like we are at war.”
“It would appear we have little choice in the matter,” Gabriel replies. “Take your Sentinals. Summon Sariel and the Guardians as well. You’ll need all the help you can get.”
Mikayel hardens. “They are not trained to fight the UnHoly.”
“True. But they can protect the innocent. Humanity. As for the others, I will call Raphael. We fight with you, Mikayel. But not our divisions. Theirs is not the way of war. They will help those who survive.”
Those who survive...
The words nestle around my shattered heart. My brethren are going to die. All because of me. Because of my selfishness.
“Nesayiel.” Mikayel’s voice slices through my shame. “Nesayiel, I expect you to fight with us.”
“I was counting on it,” I say, ignoring my inability to control my emotions.
Gabriel stares at me. “Perhaps, Mikayel, it would be better if she did not.”
“No, I can do this. I
need
to do this.”
Emotional mess or not, I’m still a warrior.
Mikayel nods. “She understands her duty, Gabriel.” He turns to me. “Be ready in an hour.”
“There’s one more thing,” I say. I have to tell them everything now, something I should’ve done all along. “They know how to pierce our skin, get through our armor.”
“We know. The minute we heard about Aydan slicing your arm, we knew. We will have extra protections. They may not be enough, so we will have to rely on our fighting skills. Azza’s mob is no match for the Sentinals.”
“Careful, Mikayel. Don't misjudge them. Azzaziel was trained just as you were.” Gabriel’s words bleed into my thoughts.
“Wait a minute. What? The stories are true? He
was
trained with you? You really were…” I can barely form the words. “Friends?”
“That is not your concern.” Again I see guilt pass through Mikayel’s eyes.
My cold rage explodes. “Azryel’s Wings, it isn’t!”
“That’s enough.” Mikayel booms.
“No! Tell me the truth! Were you friends?”
“Nesayiel, go prepare for battle.” Gabriel’s voice quiets my mind instantly.
Darn Mediators.
“Mikayel, you have a war to prepare for. We will deal with her concerns later.”
He lied. Mikayel lied to me.
And Azzaziel—he told the truth.
My mind can’t reconcile my thoughts. I walk to my room, confused.