Authors: Christine Fonseca
Lacrimosa (25 page)
I’m worse than a monster.
I am the Beast.
We walk to the club in silence as the sun arcs across the sky. Fifteen hours until Mikayel’s deadline.
Azza’s will come sooner.
Much sooner.
Chapter 34 – Truthful Lie
Nesy
Darkness shrouds me as I twist through space. I’ve never traveled this way as a human. The feeling is unnerving, like I’ve been squeezed through too tight a space. Breathing is hard. Moving, impossible.
“You should’ve let me help him,” I shout into the pitch black that envelopes me. “You should’ve—”
Cass squeezes my hand, a reminder that I’m not alone. “It’s okay, Nesy.”
“Azryel’s Wings, Cass. It is
not
okay.”
The portal opens in the middle of my human bedroom. I fall onto my bed, weak. My mind sifts through the last images of Aydan. A sword protruding from his shoulders. Falling.
“I need to get back to Aydan. He is too weak to survive Zaapiel’s attack.”
“We know.” Cass's eyes are gentle and understanding, a sharp contrast to Zane’s ever-present condemnation.
“Then why didn’t you let me protect him?”
“Nes,
Azzaziel
protects him,” Zane blurts out. “Not you.
You
are supposed to—”
“Kill Aydan. Yeah, I got that message.”
“Then you should’ve handled it.”
“Zane, I know my job, all right? I tried to vanquish him. I really did.”
“Then what happened? Hormones get in the way again?” The loathing in Zane’s tone slaps across my face.
“Zanethios!” Cass says.
“Stay out of this, Cassiel. So Nes, what was it this time? True love? Attraction? The weather? What?” Anger radiates from his eyes. I’ve never seen him so angry. So disappointed. “I went to bat for you. Guaranteed your allegiance. If anything happens to the other team—”
“I know!” I yell. “Azzaziel got in the way this time. He stopped me before I could pierce Aydan's heart.”
“Oh, Nesy,” Cass says. “I’m so sorry.”
“He trapped me in his own little world and tried to fill my head with lies about Mikayel, stories about him loving some angel. Azza said they were friends. He tried to justify his fall from grace.”
Zane looks down, his features softening. Cass grabs my hand.
Their sympathy is too much.
“He asked me to join him. Offered Aydan’s life in exchange for my loyalty. He said he’d spare more Sentinal lives if I joined him.”
“What did you say?” Zane asks.
I can’t believe he has to ask that question, after everything.
“What do you think?” I can’t hide the anger in my voice. “I said no. And then I stabbed him.”
“Good.” Zane’s relief, his smile, brings me no comfort.
“Look, Azza’s deal isn’t the problem. It’s his plans for Aydan that worries me.”
“Plans?” Zane asks, concerned.
“He going to bind Aydan to him. Brand him.”
“He’s figured out how to make Aydan his equal?” Cass asks.
“Yes.” I fight back the image of Aydan bound to Azza for eternity. Panic creeps into my thoughts as I see my brethren fall at Aydan’s hands. “He plans to do it soon, I think. He talked about waging war with Mikayel.”
“War?” Cass asks. “We need to tell the Council.”
“I know. He said he’s made an army of UnHoly. If he marks Aydan—”
“We need to warn Mikayel,” Zane urges.
“I tried to when I was with Azzaziel. But the other team showed up and, well, I don’t know if Mikayel heard me.”
“Then we need to go to Celestium. Now.” Cass opens the portal.
“You two go. I need to stay and find out more about this branding. I have a really bad feeling that this may involve Lori, somehow.” I back away from the portal.
“We’ll be right back. Don’t do anything stupid.” Zane glares at me, a mixture of frustration and concern reflected in his eyes.
I wait for my friends to return, fighting back the urge to find my sister and make sure she’s safe. I think of the old stories taught to me in Celestium. Azzaziel is why the Sentinal order exists now, why warriors were once again trained. He’s the reason for angelic deaths. Him and his dark creatures. The story of his fall is required study in my world. They say he used to be one of the most favored of the angels. Until he disobeyed a direct order from the Council and killed a Guardian. A member of the Council. His story is meant as a lesson in obedience. The trial of Azzaziel and his condemnation to the Abyss.
But he didn’t face the eternal flames. He found a way to cheat that fate. He connected himself to the oldest and darkest forms of evil, learning which souls would guarantee his immortality. Learning how to brand himself and become the Beast.
Bearing the marks of the Dark One revived an ancient rivalry with the Council. Mikayel, in particular, hates Azzaziel with a ferocity never before seen in Celestium. No one knows exactly why Mikayel is so enraged. Some believe that it’s personal, that he and Azzaziel had a history. Maybe even a friendship.
Just like Azza said.
I compare Azza’s lies to the stories of old. So similar. But, that’s the way with lies, right? At least, the good ones. The believable ones.
I think of Aydan’s fate to become the Beast and lose the decency I know still lives in his soul.
I can’t let it happen. I won’t.
I need answers, before things get any worse.
I pace the room, still waiting for my friends to come back. What’s taking them so long?
All at once my body begins to shake as incessant thoughts explode inside. Voices, too many voices, all talking at once throughout my head.
One voice rises about the din…
Help me Nesy. Please. You have to help me. He’ll kill me. He’ll…
Panic seizes my lungs as Lori continues her screams for help. Azza’s hunting her.
Right now.
I run down the stairs of the brownstone apartment, unable to wait any longer. I search the crowded café-lined streets of Chelsea. Lori would be here. Somewhere. She has to be.
Centering my thoughts, I focus only on Lori, reaching for her. Dread seizes my body as adrenaline races through my veins. Azza will torture her. Kill her.
Not if I can help it.
I grab hold of the frantic emotions threatening me and attempt to forge a plan. Cass and Zane appear in front of me, their care-worn expressions adding to my already fragile state.
“I can’t find Lori,” I say, unable to stand still. “You have to help me. I have a bad feeling about this.”
Zane stops my pacing and swallows hard. “We found her Guardian.”
My mind screeches to a halt. Pain rolls from my friends to me. “What happened?” I ask.
“He was...hurt.”
Azryel’s Wings, not again. “By whom?” I ask.
Zane holds my gaze while Cass grabs my other hand. This is bad. Really really bad.
“We think an UnHoly did it.”
Nononono.
“Aydan?” I force the question out as I detach from the feelings raging through me.
“I don’t think so. Whoever it was struck fast. They pierced the Guardian’s armor.” My world slips away as Zane continues to speak. “They figured out how to injure us, Nes. That’s why Aydan could slice through your skin before. They know how to defeat us.”
“Defeat us?” I can barely process the words. Our armor-skin has always protected us in battle. Made us invincible to their attacks.
“Yes, it’s their blades. They can cut us. Kill us.” Zane’s face is hard, his jaw clenched.
“The Guardian’s injuries were fatal,” Cass says as she squeezes my hand.
My world closes tight around me. I can’t stay here.
Yanking my hands free, I turn away from my friends. Everything is falling apart.
My brothers are dying…
all my fault.
My sister is being hunted…
I caused this
.
Aydan is becoming a monster…
because of me
.
I have to find a way to make this right. “Did Raphael come for my brethren? Return him to Celestium?”
“Yes,” Cass answers.
“There’s more you need to know,” Zane adds.
“What?”
“We asked the Guardian about the oath. The brand. We know Azzaziel’s plans.”
“Tell me,” I order, afraid that my fears are right.
“He’s going to mark Aydan’s skin,” Cass whispers.
“I know that part. What else?”
Zane’s shoulders tighten.
Blazes, my fears are right. “Zane, tell me. Now.”
“He has to drink the soul of a Seer. Lori.”
My mind reels out of control. I push past my friends as Zane grabs my arm. “Let me go, Zane. I won’t let them take her. Not Lori. Not my sister.” Tears pour down my face as I try to wrench my hands from Zane’s firm grasp.
“It’s too late, Nes. Azzaziel has her.” Zane watches me closely.
“How do you know?” I manage to ask.
“The Guardian saw. Moments before he was struck.”
Nonononono.
“And Aydan? Was he there?” In my heart, I already know the answer. But the words, I need to hear the words.
“Yes. He lured her to the club.”
My body begins to shake as the ground trembles under my feet. My mind swims and nothing makes sense. I forget to breathe, to think, to stand.
My friends hold me up as my legs refuse to bear my weight.
Aydan. He betrayed all that we ever were to each other.
His promise to me.
His love for us.
Everything
“Nesy?” Cass reaches out for my heart.
“No, don’t. This is all my fault. I never should have let that UnHoly live.”
My tattered emotions fuse to my heart as my pain turns to bile in my stomach.
Maybe it’s a big mistake? Maybe the Guardian was wrong.
No. I know the truth.
Aydan is the UnHoly, forever bound to Azza. Soon he would bear the marks and become the Beast. Whatever he used to be, he is what he is.
A monster.
“Nes, Aydan—”
“Died the minute he took Lori.” I glare at my friends, my body cold. Rigid. The emotional wave is gone, replaced by a cold and fierce hatred. “I should have listened to you, Zane. I’m sorry.”
“Don't think about that now,” Zane says.
“You’re right. I don’t have time to feel anything. I messed this up. Just me. I trusted the wrong person.” I take a deep breath, inhaling every ounce of rage, pain, torment. I’m going to the club. Lori isn’t dying because of me.”