Lady Jane (9 page)

She had never considered her own lonely life in the light of a sacrifice, and had even come to look upon her husband’s death before Sebastian’s accident as a blessing for all of them, for though she desperately missed his love and support, she shuddered to think what their life might have become. Lord Payton had been a hard-living, robust, sociable sort of man who had no patience with illness in others, never having experienced a day’s bad health in his life.

The involuntary information she now possessed regarding the state of her son’s feelings filled her with an aching pity as she pondered what it would be best to do. The thought of sending the girl away filled her own heart with heaviness, though of course she must do so if it could prevent Sebastian from experiencing the terrible unhappiness that must await him if the girl stayed. Or was she too late to prevent anything? Had Angela Gilbert been right after all? But no, the look she had seen in Sebastian’s eyes had not even remotely resembled beastly lust, if she was any judge. It was more as though a flower had turned to the sun, and there had been no discernible change in Jane’s manner, either to herself
or
Sebastian. She maintained the same cheerful respect she’d always shown to both of them. There could really be no credence given to Miss Gilbert’s prediction that the girl would forget her place if given too much education. Lady Payton fretted over the problem for several days before she observed something else that turned her mind in a most unexpected direction.

She was standing in the drawing room window watching as Jane and Wellington frolicked on the front lawn, kicking up clouds of autumn leaves. Jane would throw the ball and then she and Wellington raced each other to retrieve it Sebastian strolled out on the lawn and stood watching them. The thrown ball landed at his feet, and he bent to pick it up to toss back, right over the heads of the girl and the dog racing toward him. They both pulled up short in astonishment, looked from the ball sailing through the air in the other direction, then back at Sebastian, with similar expressions of bewilderment. Then with one accord turned and went galloping off after the ball. Sebastian threw back his head in a great shout of laughter.

Lady Payton drew in her breath, her mouth gaping in surprise. She could never remember hearing him laugh aloud since his accident! She expelled her pent-up breath and sat down rather suddenly on the blue brocade chair that, fortunately, stood beside the window, her eyes retaining the image of her son’s face laughing as her ears retained the joyous sound of it. Slowly she turned her head back to the scene outdoors, as though to verify it to her disbelieving mind. Yes, it was true, he was still laughing, his cheeks faintly tinged with colour, his face lit with happiness.

The two causes of this unprecedented event had reached the ball, Jane scooping it up just an instant before Wellington’s jaws closed on it. She turned and threw it back to Sebastian and the game began. She was laughing now too and an ecstatic Wellington tore back and forth between the two, his mouth stretched into what could only be a grin. Lady Payton thought she had never seen a picture of such perfect felicity between three living creatures.

It was at that moment that the idea presented itself, full-blown, to her mind. She did not even start with surprise at it, nor did her eyes widen in shock. Quite simply her mind set about rearranging her ideas to accommodate the plan.

Sebastian was in love with the girl, that was first and foremost in importance. Whether Jane returned his feelings was not clear, but what was without any doubt at all was that she did not react in any unnatural way with Sebastian, as though she found him physically repellent. These were the established facts.

Next was the fact that Jane was the kindest, best-natured person Lady Payton had ever met, as well as being as pretty as could be and obviously the inheritor of some good blood from somewhere in her ancestry, for she had good bones and was instinctively well bred.

To these advantages could be added the fact that the child had, to her knowledge, no one in the world to turn to if she should leave Larkwoods, and no other prospects besides a life in service, other than marriage. And if she were to marry—why not marry Sebastian!?

As Lady Payton she would have the use of sixty thousand pounds a year, Larkwoods, and the Payton town house, as well as all the gowns and carriages she could desire—and as the mother of the future Lord Payton! Ah, thought Lady Payton with a soft, gasping sigh, surely this was not so impossible a dream? Sebastian’s poor legs might have refused to grow after the dreadful injury to his spine, but this did not mean he was incapable of—well—performing as a husband.

As for Jane, so healthy and vital, surely there could be no problems there. That she had not conceived, thank the good Lord, after the terrible attack in London, Lady Payton discounted. The girl had been but fourteen at the time and pregnancy problematical in any case.

Lady Payton sat back and surveyed all of these plusses with some complacency. She was not so far removed from reality as not to be able to recognize that other people would without a doubt be horrified by such a marriage, but Society’s opinion held little weight in Lady Payton’s mind, balanced against the chance for Sebastian to be happy. God knows how many years he has left, she thought with a little catch of pain in her heart, but its certain he’ll never make old bones. It’s a miracle he’s lived this long. So—

She rose and paced briskly up and down the room, praying for inspiration. For in spite of having settled upon the rightness of such a marriage in her own mind, one large hurdle remained to be cleared, or rather, one large and one small hurdle, for she thought Jane would turn out to be a small one, but Sebastian was different! How will I bring Sebastian up to scratch, she thought, smiling at the cant phrase slipping so easily into her mind.

She stopped before the window again and watched as Jane stood before Sebastian, laughing and talking with great animation. Then, as easily as the first idea, it came to Lady Payton what she must do to convince Sebastian to consent to the plan.

9

Lady Payton negotiated
the stairs as rapidly as possible, one hand holding tight to the banister, the other clutching a crumpled piece of paper pressed to her painfully fluttering heart. The hallway, when she reached it, seemed to stretch endlessly before her. She stood for a moment, breathing hard, then made her way determinedly across it to the door of her son’s apartments and rapped urgently.

The door opened under her knuckles and Eldon, the old coachman who also served Sebastian, stood there.

“Quick, Eldon, fetch my son,” she gasped.

Before the elderly man could move, Sebastian appeared.

“Good God, Mama!” Sebastian led her to a chair and pressed her down into it “Bring brandy,” he snapped over his shoulder. Lady Payton opened her mouth to speak, but he laid a finger over her lips. “Not a word, Mama, till you’ve recovered yourself. Just lean back and take deep breaths.”

Eldon came shambling back with a glass and the brandy bottle, in what was, for him, the closest approximation to a dead run he could manage with his rheumaticky knees. Sebastian administered the brandy to his mother in small sips, and presently the faintest pink tinged her parchment-white cheeks and her hand relaxed its spasmodic clutch against her heart The piece of paper fluttered to the floor.

“What is this?” asked Sebastian, stooping to retrieve it and holding it out to her.

“It is—it is—read it,” she quavered..

He smoothed out its crumpled folds and read:

Dear Lady Payton:

After all your goodness to me, never did I think I could bring myself to deny you anythin’, but I cannot do as you want. I know the Quality don’t feel on these things the same as us, but I must do right by my own lights. Don’t think hard of me for disobligin’ you in this way. I will never forget you and Lord Payton. Please remember kindly,

Your servant,

Jane Coombes

He gave his mother a swift, puzzled glance before bending his head to read it through again.

Finally he looked up at her. “I don’t quite—what
is
this all about, Mama?”

“Oh, my dear, I do assure you it is all the most dreadful misunderstanding—”

“Yes, yes, but what does it
mean
?”

“It means she’s gone, but I didn’t—”

“Gone,” he repeated, his voice flat.

“Yes. She didn’t come down to the kitchen this morning for my tray and Mrs. Plummer went up to her room and found this note on her pillow and brought it to me. I realized at once that she must have misunderstood me last night, but Sebastian I assure you I only—I didn’t mean—” she wrung her hands together miserably.

Sebastian swallowed his impatience when he saw the stricken look in her eyes. He took one of her hands and patted it reassuringly.

“Just be calm, whatever has happened we will mend it. Just start at the beginning and tell me everything.” He saw her glance stray over his shoulder to the hovering Eldon and turned. “Thank you, Eldon, that will be all for the moment.” Eldon faded away. “Now, Mama.”

“I’ll try, my dearest, but I hope you will—I promise you I meant everything in the most honourable way,” she cried, with a pleading look.

“Surely you know you need not give me reassurances on that score, Mama. Just tell me simply—and quickly!” he could not prevent himself from adding.

“Yes, yes, you are right, we must not waste any more time. The thing was I—I—oh dear—I was persuaded, you see, that you—that you were in love with the child and—oh, Sebastian!”

She cried out piteously as she saw his brows contract into a frowning straight line. He forced himself to relax and pressed her hand.

“Go on, Mama,” he urged as gently as possible.

“Well, dearest, you know how highly I regard the child, she’s become almost like—like a daughter to me and I thought—I wanted—anyway, I thought if you loved her why should you not—not marry her and—and—last night when she was helping me to bed I thought I would just find out her own inclinations. I didn’t mention marriage, naturally. How could I do so when I hadn’t spoken to you? I only said—well—that we had both grown very fond of her and that I thought
your
feelings went even deeper than fondness and how would she feel about that?”

“And then—” he prompted, his heart giving a painful thump.

“She blushed. Heavens, such a blush!” She paused.

“But surely there is nothing in that to make her run away.”

“Not in that, no, but then—oh, Sebastian, I saw that blush and I was sure—oh such glorious visions of happiness for all of us flashed through my mind and I started babbling about gowns and jewels and carriages and I don’t know what all. She hushed me and said I was becoming overexcited and would not let me go on. She said we would speak of it tomorrow—today, that is, and went away to her bed. Oh, I was so filled with joy! I couldn’t even close my eyes for hours! I planned what I would say to you to persuade you. I knew that would be the difficult part, but I thought if I could come to you with the reassurance that your suit would not be looked upon unfavourably you—but then the moment I read her note I realized I had left out—that she thought—thought—”

“That you were trying to buy her—services—for me,” he said bitterly.

“Yes,” she whispered painfully.

“Eldon,” he raised his voice. Eldon appeared magically. “Have the carriage brought round.”

Eldon and Lady Payton gasped in concert. Sebastian turned to his servant and raised one eyebrow at him. Eldon vanished.

“Excuse me, Mama,” said Sebastian. He pressed her hand and left the room also. He was back in a moment with his hat and cape.

She stared at him disbelievingly. “You—you will go after her—yourself?”

“Yes,” he replied succinctly.

“But—but—my darling—”

“You will call Mrs. Plummer to help you back to bed and you must remain there quite quietly until we return. This has all been very bad for your heart, and I shall have to ring a peal over Jane’s head for subjecting you to it.”

“Oh, Sebastian, do you think you will find her?” she cried with a little sob.

“Of course I shall. How far can she have gone on foot? The nearest stage is Maidstone and that’s fifteen miles away. I suspect she left at daybreak and it is now half past nine. She cannot have covered even half that distance. Have no fear, Mama, I will find her,” he said firmly.

He did find her, not seven miles from Larkwoods, sitting on a pile of straw, legs dangling from the back of a farm cart lumbering along at a walking pace. She had removed one shoe and was lovingly massaging her stockinged foot as she jolted along. The sight of the carriage careening along directly toward her caused her to drop her foot, her eyes widening in alarm. As the small figure in the driver’s seat became recognizable her mouth opened into a perfect circle of surprise. He wondered, with a grim little smile, which surprised her most: his coming after her or his being able to drive a carriage?

He hauled on the reins, came to a halt, and shouted out to the farmer to pull up. The man looked around, his eyes nearly starting from his head when he saw the diminutive gentleman leaping down from the carriage. The farmer pulled to a stop without ever once turning his head or attention back to his horse.

Under the riveted stare of two pairs of eyes, Sebastian marched up to the back of the cart, planted his arms akimbo, and glared ferociously up at Jane. He held out his hand.

“Jump down,” he ordered shortly.

She took the hand he offered, obeying him wordlessly. He left her standing there and moved around to the goggle-eyed farmer. He handed up a coin, made a dismissive gesture with his hand, and walked back to Jane. The farmer gave the horse a flick of the reins and trundled slowly away, his chin resting on his shoulder as he stared back at them, reluctant to miss one moment of the best entertainment he’d had for years.

Sebastian glared coldly at Jane as the wagon rattled away. She gazed back numbly.

She had been in this state of numbness since the previous evening’s conversation with Lady Payton, when the revelation that Lord Payton cared for her had caused a complete suspension of her thinking process. Then slowly, certain words began to penetrate: “money,” “gowns,” “jewels,” and all became horrifyingly clear. Hardly aware of what she was doing, she shushed Lady Payton, rushing blindly about the room picking up clothing, closing the drapes, poking up the fire, and whisking out the door after a hurried “goodnight, m’lady.” She wished the ground would open and swallow her and her shame. That Lady Payton would try to buy her for her son! Jane did not attribute any of this shame to Lady Payton, for Lady Payton
could
not perform a shameful act. Therefore she, Jane, must be held to blame. Something in her own self must have provoked Lady Payton and her son to make such an offer; the guilt was hers. She shouldered it humbly, but a door closed on the whole thing in her mind; it was simply too painful to deal with yet. She had only one clear thought: She must leave Larkwoods.

In her room, she pulled her box down from a shelf and folded into it only the things she had brought with her from London. In passing, her hands caressed the merino gown lovingly, but moved on to her own old gown and pelisse, which she’d not worn even once since she came here. She removed her blue uniform and apron, folded them across the bed, and put on her own gown. Then taking her candle she crept down the stairs to Lady Payton’s desk in her private sitting room, where she wrote a note to Lady Payton, and took it back to her room. She spent the rest of the night sitting beside her dying fire, numb to every thought but that she must leave the house at dawn before anyone was awake. She felt a great, cold void of loneliness, which stayed with her as she slipped out of the house in the chill fog of early morning and set off down the drive, and was still her only emotion as she sat on the back of the dray nursing her aching feet several hours later.

When she recognized Sebastian she was first shocked and then confused at his angry countenance. It was a look she had never seen directed toward her from him, and it was as palpable as a blow. Was this rage because she had refused his offer? Had he come to drag her back whether she would or no? She tightened her grip on her box and stood up straighter.

Finally he spoke, the words falling like icy pebbles between them. “You have behaved with incredible stupidity.”

“Maybe,” her voice came out in a whisper, but then she spoke up more firmly, “I’m sure others would be glad of such an offer, but I don’t need gowns and jewels and that.”

“Are you seriously accusing my mother of being a—a—procuress?”

She gazed at him uncomprehendingly. “I’m—I’m not just sure what that means, but I’d never accuse m’lady of anything bad.”

“It means that you think my mother was making you an offer to become my paramour in return for money.”

“Yes, but I know she didn’t mean anything bad to her own way o£ thinking. Quality don’t feel that sort of thing is bad, but me mam—”

“My mother,” he corrected her automatically.

“—my mother would turn over in her grave if I—if I—did such a thing.”

“If she were dead, so would my mother—and no thanks to you that she isn’t, giving her such an upset by running away.”

Jane started forward as though to run back to her lady’s side, but stopped abruptly at the foolishness of such a notion. Her eyes filled, but she swallowed, refusing to give way to tears. “She had an attack?”

“Not yet, but she will if you persist in this idiocy,” he said, aware that he was taking advantage of the girl’s soft heart and obvious love for Lady Payton.

“Then I will go back to her,” Jane said simply.

“Brush the straw off your skirt.”

She obeyed, glad to have something to busy herself with while she said what she felt she must say. “But I cannot—I mean no disrespect to her or to you—but I cannot—”

“You were never asked to do anything dishonourable,” he interrupted her, angry again.

“It may not seem so to you, but me—my mother warned me never—”

“How tiresome you are! Please stop this nonsense at once before I lose all patience. I thought you’d grown beyond this finicking servant’s prudery!”

“It isn’t prudery,” she cried, stung by his scorn.

“Then it’s a vivid, even salacious, imagination,” he retorted furiously. “My mother would never dream of allowing a servant in her home to consort with her son, much less attempt to arrange such a thing herself. As for me, if I want—that—I’m perfectly capable of getting it for myself. It may not seem possible to you, but I assure you money can buy anything! Even if I had two heads!
Do you understand me
?”

She flinched away from the raw fury of his voice, involuntarily gasping out, “Oh no! I didn’t mean—”

“It was marriage she was hinting at, you cabbage-headed, paper-skulled pea-goose!”

“Don’t you dare call me—” she broke off abruptly, then, “—ma-ma-ma—” she stuttered helplessly, unable to form the word, “—but who—?”

His face reddened, but he looked her straight in the eye. “Me. But not with any contrivance on my part, I assure you.”

“N-no, ce-certainly not,” she said, stumbling over her words in her haste to disclaim any such thought on her own part, “how could you think of such a thing!”

He looked away, giving the hedge his undivided attention for several long, uncomfortable moments. Then he cleared his throat and said, “Well, actually, I
had
thought of it—a great deal.”

They were married two weeks later by special license, the ceremony performed in the drawing room by a minister brought down from London by Lady Stanier, the only guest attending, besides the servants.

Sebastian was adamant in his refusal to entertain his neighbours with the spectacle of a church wedding performed by Mr. Gilbert, the vicar, nor would he allow his mother to even hint to Angela Gilbert of what was afoot.

“But dearest boy, she will find out later and—”

“Let her.”

“But she’ll insinuate dreadful things—”

“How you can bring yourself to receive a woman with such a mind I will never understand. However, you will oblige me by not mentioning me or anything to do with me to her.”

Miss Gilbert came as usual for a weekly visit, but though she eyed Lady Payton’s flushed, excited countenance curiously, her only comment was that she hoped Lady Payton was not sickening for something.

Lady Payton tried very hard to remain calm, for she did not want to become ill and spoil everything for “the children,” as she now called the betrothed couple, but it was difficult with so much to be done.

She had written immediately to her sister of the problem regarding the vicar and Lady Stanier had dashed off a hasty reply by return post that she knew the very man and would bring him down herself the day before the wedding. Then Lady Payton had written to say that with her sister’s agreement she would return to London for an extended visit with her after the wedding. Lady Payton felt that since the young people could not go away for a honeymoon, the least she could do would be to absent herself for at least three months while they settled down to married life together. She also asked her sister to be on the lookout for a nice, steady manservant to wait on the children, since poor Eldon was suffering so with his rheumatism he could hardly walk.