Lailah (The Styclar Saga) (36 page)

I remained at the table and forced myself to revisit the memory of my death, of my body falling, of blood trickling past my face.

As unexpected and as instant as a bolt of lightning, I felt Gabriel there with me.

Startled, I tried to make my mind go blank.

You remembered …

It was as though the whole world had been swallowed up and all that existed was his voice.

He killed me. Ethan killed me.

Silence.

As if he were a passing breeze, a chill slid in between the cracks of my mind, and I was still.

I’ll be with you soon.

And just as quickly as he had arrived in my consciousness, he left.

Returning back to reality, I decided that Ruadhan had to be mistaken. I knew Ethan had killed me; I’d seen it, I’d even relived it. Ruadhan was wrong.

My feet itched underneath me, ready to act. Bolting down to my basement bedroom, I showered as quickly as I could. As I dried my hair and applied a thin layer of makeup, questions rolled over in my mind. I had to get answers. Today. Starting with what happened in that motel room with Hanora.

I brushed past the table that the chess set sat on and I peered down. It was Gabriel’s move and I hadn’t noticed until now but he was about to put me in check.

It came as no surprise, but I was a tad disappointed that I was failing miserably.

I bet the Lailah that Gabriel had once known was better.

Reaching the dresser, I rifled through the clothes and I was grateful for a moment that Brooke had salvaged some of the nicer pieces. Choosing a white blouse, I tucked it into a turquoise chiffon skirt. Sure enough, Brooke had picked out a matching cardigan, so I bundled it on, also sliding my chalky legs through footless tights and throwing on some ballet flats.

He must be close. If he was able to connect with me it meant he was near, and I felt the urge to look my best for our impending conversation.

As I opened the door to my room, I froze. He was standing in front of me.

My knees wobbled underneath me. Gabriel regarded me with sparkling eyes and a beautiful smile—stretching all the way up to his deep dimples. It was as if his mere presence brought the sun out of hiding, as rays found their way through my window, striping across his face.

He pushed back the loose strands of hair covering my right eye before pulling me in to his chest and holding me as if he hadn’t for a million years.

I have missed you so much, Lai.

I clutched his white T-shirt in reply. I was gripping it hard, not sure if it was out of love or anger. Tipping my chin up to face him, he found my lips just as quick. His kiss was gentle, yet powerful.

He determinedly locked his eyes with mine and grasped the back of my head with his palms, placing both his thumbs against my cheekbones. He stared down at me, forcing me to search the glittering windows into his soul.

I lost myself in his eyes, my anxiety and hurt feelings washing away. He trailed his fingertips along my neck, across my shoulders, and down my arms, eventually reaching my hips.

Tugging at my blouse, he slid his hand underneath the soft cotton. Placing his palm to the small of my back, he drew my body in closer. As he pressed me against him, my breathing hitched in response.

I fingered his waistband and rose to the tips of my toes. I needed him.

Gabriel lifted me from the ground and I wrapped my legs around his waist and placed my hands on his chest. His heartbeat was strong and fast. He wasted no time devouring me with his sultry kisses; our lips tangled together as a sense of yearning swelled between us.

His aroma of citrus seemed to intensify as my touch peeled away his layers. And at his core was an incandescent white light that pulsed, refracting off my crystal. A halo formed around us. Together we shined, at the center of our very own fire rainbow.

Our lips separated as he set me down, and I finally came up for air.

“Where did that come from?” I asked, once I found my breath.

His smile changed, and he said, “When I tell you the truth about me, about us, you may not ever want to see me again, let alone touch me.”

My body knotted as I felt his worry stretch from his being into mine. “I’m afraid for us,” I said. “There are things I haven’t told you either.”

My face screwed up in apprehension. I couldn’t help but feel our happy reunion was on the cusp of being muddied in dirty half truths.

“Let’s take a walk,” he said.

“What about the Angel you’ve brought?”

“He can wait. What I have to say to you can’t.”

He took my hand and led me out the front of the property. We walked hurriedly up the long road to an ancient, abandoned water mill. Gabriel offered me a spot next to him on the trunk of a fallen tree.

The winter’s sun was fighting to overcome the layer of white clouds that were gathering around it. The Pyrenees Mountains, with their snowy peaks, were visible in the distance. I marveled at them, gathering my courage. If I didn’t tell him now I never would.

“Gabriel.”

“Lai.”

We spoke at the same second and I grinned nervously at how in sync we were.

“Please, Gabriel, I need to tell you some things before I lose my nerve.…”

His eyes caught mine. I could stay happily submerged in their brilliant blue forever, but this time, I resisted the plunge.

Gabriel squeezed my hand reassuringly, as if there was nothing I could say that would affect him. I was sure that that wasn’t the case.

“Where to start…”

“Try the beginning,” he said.

His gentleness made me calmer.

I took a breath, deciding to begin with Ethan. Gabriel knew about him, at least back then, back when we first met—but I needed to fill him in on the recent developments, plus it might be easier if I worked up to the more difficult conversation.

“Okay. So, the night I met Jonah, when Eligio’s clan was attacking us, there was a Vampire. I didn’t recognize him at first, but he seemed to know me somehow. When we left the house, I had a vision of the Purebloods and the clans, and I watched as that same Vampire left them. I didn’t know why. I saw him again at the airport and then he turned up at the market in Mirepoix.”

I felt his body stiffen.

“He had an old woman hand me a ring. It had a coat of arms on it and I noticed that it matched some of the markings on my own ring.”

I felt for my circle under my blouse. “Touching it caused me to fall into memories of the past. I recognized him then. I’d seen him in other visions, but I never knew who he was to me. Finally, in the last memory, I fell back in. I relived an argument we had in a barn and he grabbed me and I hit the ground. I came out of it just as I was about to die.”

I could sense Gabriel’s growing trepidation, but I pushed past it.

“When I came to, he was there, standing over me. I suddenly knew his name. Ethan. I guess he was the fiancé you mentioned. I watched him give me my ring.” I tapped my chest again where it sat cooling my skin.

“Ethan was not a Vampire when you were betrothed,” Gabriel said, his voice low.

“Something must have happened to him after. I don’t think he meant to kill me, it was an accident. My memories of him are happy ones.”

Gabriel’s grip on my hand tightened. “Your parents had arranged for him to marry you,” he said. “Ethan was the son of the local squire, and of a higher standing than your own family.” He paused. “Your father offered you and, from my understanding, sweetened the deal with this gem, to be placed into a band for you and into their family.” He organized his thoughts again. “Ethan was not a bad person. You grew up together, you told me once he was like a brother. Then you met me, and you decided you couldn’t marry him.…” He trailed off.

“Because I fell in love with you.”

He smiled at me, but it was a sad smile.

“He’s following me. He’s here somewhere and he wants retribution, I don’t know why.”

“How do you know that?”

“He told me, right before I fell into the ice,” I said.

Gabriel snatched his hand from my own and turned my face toward him. “You fell into ice?”

“It’s all right, Jonah was there. He pulled me out. I’m fine, honestly. There’s more.” I didn’t want to delve into the details of that particular rescue. I didn’t fully understand and I still wasn’t ready to face whatever it was that had happened.

“There’s a girl. You will think I’m crazy, but she just sort of turns up. I don’t know who she is; I never see her face because she’s always shrouded in shadow. I see her, but then … I don’t know, things get hazy, I can’t remember. It’s like she somehow creates black spots in my memory. She was there the night Frederic attacked me. She killed him, I’m sure she did.”

A deep twinge of pain shot through my head, rumbling into a dull ache as I tried to recall.

“It’s okay.” His voice soothed me and I was able to continue.

“Ruadhan saw her, he said he did, in the Hedgerley house. But he said she was a Pureblood. I don’t understand—why would a Pureblood Vampire protect me?”

He didn’t offer any answers.

I turned my body toward him and, biting my bottom lip, I said, “Also, I kissed Jonah.”

There. I’d said it.

I didn’t have much of an explanation. Gabriel’s eyes stretched wide, and he took both my hands back in his own.

“I didn’t really mean to. We went to this nightclub and there was this guy … Jonah just kind of stepped in and helped me out. I was angry with you because I thought you were with Hanora and I don’t know, I just … It’s weird, when I’m with him, I don’t entirely feel like myself.”

“He’s a Vampire. He can influence you in ways you don’t know.”

He gave me an out, but I had to be honest with him.

“I don’t think he’d do that. When we’re together, something comes over me and I find myself acting on impulse. It wasn’t the first time, or the last, I’m sorry,” I rushed, feeling totally ashamed.

Gabriel sat next to me in silence, his hands still covering mine. Finally he squeezed them and said, “Jonah overstepped the mark, not you, Lai. You’re in a very vulnerable position and he shouldn’t have taken advantage. I trusted him with you.”

I met Gabriel’s gaze and just as I was about to interject, I stopped as I watched the veins in his neck jut out and a spark of warning suddenly flared in his eyes. “I’ll kill him.”

He jumped up and I gulped hard, reaching for his arm.

Seeing Gabriel so angry was unfamiliar; he wasn’t like that.

“Gabriel, no—” I stuttered, pulling him back toward me.

He met my eyes and immediately softened; taking his time he sat back down. “I’m sorry. It’s okay, we’ll work it out.” He forced a smile, an unsure, upset smile that made me die a little inside.

He was the last person I wanted to hurt. I loved him.

“I’m sorry. That night he’d helped me at the club after, well, drinking from a stripper.”

“What?”

“I was upset with Jonah and left, and that’s when the guy came after me.…” This confession wasn’t getting any easier. But I might as well get it all out now.

“I blacked out, and when I came to, the guy was dead.”

I tried to connect to Gabriel’s mind, but he’d closed it off. I guessed he wanted to deal with my revelations in private.

“Jonah said I killed him, but I couldn’t have. I’m not like them. I—I…”

Feeling my eyes welling up, ready to spill over, Gabriel pulled me in to him and held me tightly, running his hand in a circular motion over my back.

“I don’t know what Jonah’s game is,” he said. “But I’m sure you didn’t kill him, Lai.”

I sobbed a little. “Don’t be mad; I know you’re upset, but Jonah’s been really good to me. He’s looked out for me and kept me safe.”

Gabriel squeezed my hands reassuringly. “I should have been here protecting you. I’m sorry I had to leave.” He kissed the top of my forehead and mopped up my tears with his fingertips.

“I need to tell you something extremely important, Lai.”

He was deadly serious and as I raised my face up to meet his, I braced myself for the worst. Was he about to tell me that he had been with Hanora after all?

“It’s about when we first met—”

A voice cut through our exchange. “Sorry to interrupt this little heart-to-heart.” A man appeared next to us, eyeing me with interest.

As he stood a few feet away from me, I felt the strangest sense of déjà vu creep over me. I had never met him before, but I felt like I knew him. And in some strange way, he looked like me. His skin was milky white, and his large eyes were a unique shade of blue that was strangely similar looking to my own. Most important, he seemed uncomfortable in his surroundings. As though he were a fish out of water. He could only be the Angel whom Gabriel had brought back with him.

Gabriel stood up, startled by his sudden and uninvited arrival, and I quickly followed suit.

“Azrael, this is Cessie.”

My ears pricked at Gabriel’s choice of name for me, and I took it to mean that Azrael hadn’t yet earned Gabriel’s trust.

“Delighted.”

He extended his hand to mine, his eyes narrowing as I reached out politely. As his cool skin stroked my own, I was overwhelmed with the strangest vibration that caused goose bumps to run up my arms.

My mind was filled with an intense light that finally burst into droplets of silver and gold, exploding like an enormous firework.

I yanked my hand away and stumbled, grabbing for something to steady me. Gabriel wrapped his arms around me and we both stared at Azrael, whose expression was unreadable.

He finally nodded and smiled. “Seems I’m your Creator. Or would you prefer Dad?”

I looked to Gabriel, astonished. His expression mirrored mine.

TWENTY-
S
IX

I
PACED ANXIOUSLY AROUND
the living room. Eventually Ruadhan interrupted my racing thoughts.

“Sweetheart, sit down. Let me make you something to eat; I haven’t seen you touch a bite in two days.”

I stopped briefly. He was right; I hadn’t eaten since before I had fallen into the stream.

“I don’t want to eat, I want to hear what they’re saying!”