Last Call (7 page)

trying to find a way

to get back

into his

even now

even then

after all that

1

For his 74th birthday

Charles E. Carr, Sr. the Second

received fifteen dollars in the mail

with a handscribbled signature

inside a Judy's Motel notepad tear away

from your son Charles E. Carr, Junior III.

which burned an archetypal hole

in his proverbial pocket

until he went

to Hamilton Drug Store

found the Braun Electric Dry Razor

he'd heard about on radio and t. v.

said How much is it?

Gordon Hamilton said Seventeen seventy-five

Holy cow he said

I bought a Remington

out the Sears catalog

for six dollars

not that long ago

That would have been in 1936

said Gordon Hamilton

the cheapest model

I got one, too

and it wasn't worth a damn

these ones are good

made all the way over to Germany

I only got fifteen dollars

said Charles E. Carr, Sr.

Gordon Hamilton said

I'll think about it

come back and see me this afternoon

Charles E. Carr, Sr.

drove to Bill Edwards Hardware and Appliance

two blocks away

said Can you order me

a Braun Electric Dry Razor?

Bill Edwards got his book out

said Yes I can

it'll be sixteen dollars and fifty cents

including shipping

be here next Tuesday

Charles E. Carr, Sr. said

I'll think about it

get back to you this afternoon

drove back to Hamilton Drug

said Gordon, Ign get that razor

down to Bill Edwards

for under sixteen dollars

Gordon said Is that right?

Charles E. Carr, Sr. said Yep

though I'd of rather do bidness

with you being a neighbor

but I still only have fifteen

What if I sell it to you for fifteen fifty?

What if Bill Edwards went to fifteen?

I'll go fifteen and a quarter, no less

yougn get a quarter from your wife

I can?

Yep

How'd you know that?

What if I called and asked her?

You didn't do that

What if I did?

Can you gift wrap it?

It's a birthday present

2

On the morning after his 74th birthday

Charles E. Carr, Sr. the Second

broke out in a blood bright rash

head to neck

down his shoulders, arms

scratched himself raw and moaned

like a three tawn cat in heat

his wife

stuffed him in the Buick

drove to Dr. Tubbs

You got shingles

said the Dr.

Is it some pills I can take for it?

said Charles E. Carr, Sr.

Yessir, but it's going to take some time

said Dr. Tubbs

How much?

Dollars or time?

You're going to be taking penicillin

and administering calamine lotion

for at least a month

on all afflicted areas

including some you might not

know about yet

Month?

Yessir and I hope your missus

will come to enjoy your looks

because you're going to get downright scruffy

not being able to shave the whole time

3

Forty days forty nights

Charles E. Carr, Sr. the Second

lived in his Barcalounger

memorizing the schedule

of every program on Channel 7 and ll

Ding Dong School with Miss Francis

Captain Kangaroo soap operas all the days of his life

Queen for a Day Hopalong Roy Gene Durango Kid

Cisco and Lone Ranger Howdy Doody

Liberache and Tennessee Ernie Ford oh my both ways

Serenaders at 5 Bernie Howell on the Organ at 5:30

Douglas Edwards Edward R. Murrow See It Now

Jimmy Issac's State News and Weather from Lubbock

Father Knows Alfred Hitchcock Best Loretta Young

Ed Sullivan Loves Lucy Milton Berle

Sid Caesar Dizzy Dean Dragnet Gunsmoke

It's after eleven o'clock

will you turn that goddam thing down?

Yes dear I wished you wouldn't talk that way

I'm getting real tired of this I'm warning you

Yes dear

his scruff sprouting through

a peat moss mask of dried pink lotion

splotches and patches

in his lap every day, all night

his Braun Electric Dry Razor

which during every commercial

sunrise to midnight, forty consecutive days

in the wilderness of temptation

he would lift, hold before his face

thumb the switch

after checking that the cord was plugged in correctly

and listen to its perfectly engineered

immaculately designed

happy birthday from your son Charles E. Carr, Jr.

impeccable German whine

Daryl Glen Strickland

ten years into his current drunk

found his way to the monument

with a Jax beer in one hand

the remaining three of the six pack

papersacked in the other

looked up at the sculpture

the seeming spiral movement

the face changing expression

with the light flow, sift of breeze

passing through the welded body

dizzied him

until he dropped to a knee

where he remained for a quarter hour supine

staring upward into the obelisk

then rose and stumbled to the garbage barrel

tossed in his open can

placed the three live soldiers beside the drum

that night at the Dew Drop Inn

Bus Pennel mentioned

the Monument to the South Plains

Daryl Glen Strickland once again

wobbled until he had to leave the bar

go outside for fresh air

from then on when he came

to the Dew he drank only R.C. Cola

he returned again and again

to view Willy John's first masterpiece

sober

saying any time he thought of drinking

he pictured it in his mind

and dizziness poisoned the urge

said he was pretty sure

he overheard himself

praying to it a few times

until he finally gave it up

for good

the men's glee club at the Dew Drop

said Poor devil

he's cursed with the genius

caint get it out of his system

probley rurnt forever

they said

That's too bad

he was a good old boy

oncet upon a time

I remember when I was her age

one of our neighbors shot my puppy

Daddy said He will pay for that in the hereafter

down the road from our place

somebody had painted on a sign

R
EPENT
J
ESUS IS
C
OMING
S
OON
T
HE
E
ND IS NEAR

and I thought then

no it isn't

either it's already come and gone

and He went away, left for good

or it's too late

we are all sunsucked dry with meanness

where a bucket of water on cheatgrass

wouldn't pull enough suption

to let a stem call up spit

why would He want to come back to this?

that's what I wanted to know

what I had to say about all of it back then

when I was a child like her wondering

why somebody would do something like that

to my puppy dog, to me

to my whole world and everything

I'd learned to believe in

about it all

This little light of mine

—Vacation Bible School song

You put me on that committee

first thing I'll do is call a vote to disband

Is it the committee or the people on it?

It's about equal, I'd guess

Is there anything today you detest more than educationists or committees?

Probably prayer before the meeting starts

You don't approve of praying

Not in public, nosir, but that's not the point

What is then?

Praying before an education meeting is akin to beseeching omnipotent

permission

in this instance to enact revisionist precepts of the moronic and mundane

a silly concept for which I have neither patience, respect nor time of day

I would rather proceed without same then ask forgiveness for idiotic

transgression

which is a Christian, even a Baptist Christian, obligation to remit

The people on that committee are too intellectually rigid to even

acknowledge that

I see what you mean

I accept that analysis maintaining reservations

It's not a big deal anyway, Billy, being more figurehead than reality

I doubt that committee even has the authority to disband itself

Full circle, full cliché

if nominated I will not run, if elected I will not serve

being unwilling to lead or follow in this meaningless matter

I move to cease discussion and approve my stance by acclamation

that movement being neither debatable nor amendable

I second that motion and vote yea

That, sir, being a highly commendable votive castureation worthy of one PBR

Which I accept with honor

Let us go then you and I

while the evening spreads against the sky

like alcoholics to the School Board Meeting

I, sir, am not an alcoholic

I am a votive casturationist drunk

The difference being?

Alcoholics go to meetings

I'm going to Adolph's

Perhaps you do know Jack Shit

and in that light

I, sir, will be your Sancho Panza

Let's shine, compadre

stars aglitter in mud puddles

let us go forth and shine

Oh Hell! what do mine eyes with grief behold?

—Paradise Lost
IV, 360

1

What are you doing!

Oh god

Oh shit

Jimmy Don who is that in my

Kim Pierce! What are you

I can explain Mrs Strachioner

No you can't

Oh god

Young lady you get out of my bedroom

Baby, I can

Don't you Baby me Get out of my bed

that piece of flesh you're with is a high school student, a minor

you should be really Really ashamed of yourself

you concubine chasing scum sucker child molesting snotty nosed Poland

China boar hog

I don't want to ever see you again

Really, I can

Don't you say another word, Miss Pierce

you get your clothes on

and yourself out of my house

Oh shit

And I can tell you one more thing, young lady

you are getting an unexcused absence

for this

Oh Hell! There goes my reputation

Baby, we can work this out

No we can't, we won't

get your clothes on

both of you get out of this house

If this gets around I'm dead

Jerry Tey will ask

for his class ring back, I know it

Get out of this house Now

Baby, you need to set down

and think this over

Jimmy Don, you have one minute

to be out of this house

I'm getting the shotgun

and I won't be particular

about where I'm aiming

Oh god

You have 54 seconds left

Oh shit, I think she means it

Oh god

50 seconds

I know where it is and it's loaded

I'm leaving, I'm leaving

You don't have any clothes on, Kimmie

You can go fuck yourself, Mister Strachioner

I'm not getting shot over this

44

Baby

42

I'm out

I'm out

just settle down

38

2

Elder Ezell when I was a little girl

back when you were only a Deacon

Mama always told me you were our friend

the one person I could come to and trust if I had a bad problem

to listen and help me through it

if they were gone or if I thought they couldn't help

besides going to the preacher

I don't know Brother Ronnie Parker

that well yet he's too new to the church

I wouldn't feel comfortable

going to him even if he is our Minister

will you hear me as my Elder and my friend

and offer any advice you have on what to do next?

Your mama was Maypearl Fleming wasn't she?

married to Floyd Fleming before he died

when? back in '54 I think?

wasn't it a heart attackt back then?

Yes sir

You're Lucy Beth Strachioner now aren't you?

married to Jimmy Don Strachioner who works

up to Brown Brothers as a oiler, don't he?