Last Car to Annwn Station (22 page)

“Shameless,” Jill acknowledged, sitting up and lifting the tray onto the bed.

Mae scooted around to face Jill over the food. For the next several minutes both women concerned themselves with the contents of the tray. Mae noticed that Jill seemed to be returning to normal, attacking her toast and tea.

She also noted the dark bruise on Jill’s forehead. A large part of their plan tomorrow concerned Jill going to the party. They would need to hide that bruising under her hair or cover it.

Jill gave her a thoughtful look and started nervously playing with the sheet. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

Jill exhaled nervously and licked her lips. “It’s just—this may not be the ideal time to ask about this, is all.”

“Go ahead.”

Jill lifted her head and locked her mismatched eyes on Mae. She reached out and took both of Mae’s hands in her own. “You remember the night I told you about my suicide attempt?”

“Of course.”

Jill’s voice was little more than a whisper. “You told me I needed to forgive myself, and that someday I’d take what I’d learned and help someone else. I said you sounded like the voice of experience and you told me that was a story for another night. I was just wondering…”

Mae took a deep breath. “You’re not the only one who made mistakes as a young woman.”

“If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay.”

“No.” Mae gave Jill’s hands a squeeze and took a deep breath. “It’s fine. I—I had a child when I was in college. A son. His name—his name was Liam.”

“Was?” Jill asked.

“He died. When he was still a baby.”

“Oh, Mae, I’m so sorry.”

Mae gave Jill a weak smile. “I loved him like I’ve never loved anyone. It’s just that, for a long time after he died, I blamed myself. I couldn’t help but think if I’d done something differently, he might have lived. It’s not true, of course. There was
nothing
I could have done. He was doomed from the moment he was born, and sometimes—sometimes that makes it worse, you know? Because if I’d been using any sense, he would never have been
born
. He would never have had to
die
.”

“I take it he was not a planned child?”

Mae shook her head. “No, he actually was planned. Would you like some more tea before I tell you about the truly awful thing I did?”

Jill gave her a surprised look. “Okay.”

Mae poured the last of the tea into the two cups. “It was when I was going to the U. My father had died. He was my only family.”

Jill’s face took on an expression of understanding. “You didn’t want to be alone.”

“I was
desperately afraid
to be alone. I was a freshman, living away from home. I had no family and no friends. What I did have was Jerry, my more-or-less boyfriend.”

“Oh, Mae. You didn’t?”

“I did, but not because I expected him to marry me. In fact, I was pretty sure he would bolt when he found out I was pregnant.” Mae gave a humorless snort. “He did not disappoint.”

“What happened?”

“Jerry was the only boyfriend I ever had. We’d been a couple since middle school, but it was more a relationship of convenience than anything else. He was one of the boys I played hockey with. We lived near each other. We’d ride on the bus out to the little frozen lakes in south Minneapolis together. I’d never had another male show any interest in me, flat-chested, plain little thing that I am, and I didn’t have the self-confidence to pursue another boy.”

Jill grinned. “It sounds like maybe your subconscious already knew which way you swung.”

“Looking back on it, I had little enough interest in the boy I was with and none in the other young men around me. Still, boy-and-girl relationships were all I knew at the time because it was all I saw in school.”

Jill nodded in understanding.

Mae took a deep breath. “So, I never went after another boy, and Jerry was too lazy to pursue other girls. In truth, he was just someone to take me out once in awhile, or go to school functions with. I stayed with him because I was afraid I’d never find anyone else. He stayed with me for the occasional sex. Simple as that. We probably would have married eventually, just because there was nothing better to do.”

“And then your father died,” Jill said.

Mae nodded. “And then my father died. I don’t know what I was really thinking. I just—I didn’t want to be alone.”

“How did you manage?”

Mae shrugged. “You find ways. I got pregnant and Jerry ran. I dropped out of college for a year and took a job waiting tables.”

Mae paused and gathered herself. She did not want to cry, but there was no stopping it. She looked down at her lap and let the tears come. “Liam was born with a heart defect, a condition called tricuspid atresia. His heart didn’t have a tricuspid valve.”

“Oh,” was Jill’s only reply.

“The doctors did everything possible for him. They kept him alive for almost six months, but in the end it wasn’t enough.” She looked up at Jill and sniffled. “When he died, for the longest time I hated myself.”

“Why?” Jill asked, her voice very small and quiet.

“I brought him into the world. I brought him into the world for purely selfish reasons. I couldn’t help but think that his death was my punishment for being such a terrible person.”

Mae looked back down at her lap. She felt Jill reach out and gather her close. Mae leaned into Jill.

“Did you love him?”

Mae nodded against Jill’s shoulder. “Yes. More than anything.”

“That’s all that really matters,” Jill whispered.

Mae felt Jill begin to stroke her hair. She closed her eyes. “I know. And I know his death wasn’t my fault. It was—it was just stupid bad luck for both of us.” She felt Jill’s head gently rest on her own.

“We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?” Jill said.

Mae sniffed. “I’m glad you asked, truth be told.”

“Yeah, well, now we know each other’s pasts.”

Jill kissed the top of her head, hugged her tight, and then released her. Mae looked up as Jill set the half-empty box of tissues on the bed.

“Thanks,” Mae mumbled, pulling several tissues from the box. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose. “Thanks.”

Jill set the tray of dirty dishes on the floor. Mae sighed as Jill gathered her close, holding her in her arms, drawing her down to the bed. It made her feel safe. It made her feel loved.

Mae closed her eyes and snuggled closer to Jill. She was exactly where she wanted to be. Mae raised her face toward Jill’s, stopping with her lips less than an inch from the other woman’s. Jill gazed down at her, her eyes filled with hunger.

Mae felt herself being pushed backward as Jill’s lips met her own. She let Jill take the lead, enjoying the feeling of Jill kissing her.

Mae ran a hand through Jill’s hair, guided Jill to the base of her neck, moaned when Jill’s lips started toward her shoulder. She pulled Jill closer, twined her legs in Jill’s and gave a gentle thrust of her hips upward. Jill growled, started back up Mae’s neck with her lips. Emboldened, Mae dared to reach under Jill’s shirt, gently stroked along the curve of Jill’s left breast. Jill broke off her kisses and pushed up on her arms, looking down at Mae with a wide smile. Mae withdrew her hand from Jill’s breast and ran a finger over Jill’s cheek. She leaned up to kiss the skin next to Jill’s silver eye and then rained a soft series of kisses along Jill’s jaw and neck. Jill turned her head, her lips reaching for Mae’s. Mae happily obliged her when Jill’s tongue touched her lips, seeking entry into Mae’s mouth.

She was not sure when or how Jill had unbuttoned her top, but Jill’s clever hands were caressing her breasts, stroking the flat of her stomach, slowly working down, reaching under the elastic of Mae’s pajama pants.

“Yes,” Mae murmured. “Just like that…”

Tuesday, 31
^st
of October

Mae opened her eyes. She felt a moment of panic as she took in her unfamiliar surroundings, but settled at the sound of Jill’s soft snoring.

She stretched, languid and lazy. The sheets were cool and crisp against her naked body.

Last night had been something beyond wonderful. Mae had forgotten what it was like to make love with someone you cared deeply for. It had been far too long.

Mae rolled over on her side to face Jill. She had convinced Jill to leave the eye patch off during the night. Jill had hesitated, but gave in to Mae’s wish. The eye looked unchanged, silver instead of the pale blue of Jill’s other eye. Mae wanted to assure Jill that, at least when they were alone, Jill could leave her changed eye uncovered. She could also, Mae pointed out, get a colored contact lens to cover the silver eye.

Mae reached out and caressed Jill’s cheek. Jill looked softer, almost vulnerable in her sleep. All the worry from her face was erased, and her black hair lay in a wild tangle around her. Mae thought she could stay and gaze at this woman forever.

Unfortunately, her body was letting her know there were certain pressing needs it wanted addressed. Mae sighed and slipped from the bed, grabbing her clothes from the floor as she made her way to the bathroom.

Once Mae made her bladder happy, she brushed her teeth and dressed. She looked in on Jill, who had rolled over onto her back and sprawled out, taking up three-quarters of the bed. One pale leg was uncovered, dangling over the side of the mattress, and the sheets had pulled down, leaving her exposed to the waist.

Mae resisted the urge to crawl back into bed and reprise last night’s lovemaking. It would be enjoyable, but they had a rescue to undertake. She slipped out of the room on silent feet, leaving Jill to whatever pleasant dream she was having.

Coffee was the first thing on the agenda. Mae found the canister of grounds and the filters on the counter where they had left it yesterday. She set the pot to drip and went about finding breakfast.

Her search yielded a package of freezer-burned cinnamon rolls. Mae thought she might be able to make them palatable by smothering them in butter and letting them microwave for a bit. Mae took a can of peaches from the pantry, placing it on the counter, ready to be opened when the rolls were done. She set the timer on the machine and snuck back into the bedroom to retrieve the carafe and serving tray she had seen last night.

Jill had flipped over onto her stomach, tangled up in the sheet and comforter. Her hair made a dark halo around her head.

She’s so pretty
.

Jill stretched and rolled over, opening one sleepy eye. “You’re awake,” she mumbled, almost in accusation.

“Yes.”

“And you’re dressed.” Jill reached up and pulled Mae over to her by the bottom of her pajama top.

Mae sat down and leaned into Jill. She liked the way Jill felt first thing in the morning: warm and soft.

“I didn’t want you dressed,” Jill murmured. She began to unbutton Mae’s top with one hand while running the other lightly over Mae’s leg.

Mae leaned over and kissed Jill, hard and deep, bringing the sleepy woman fully awake.

They broke the kiss and pulled apart. Jill sat up and looked up at her, a playful smile on her face, mirth in her mismatched eyes.

“Jill—” said Mae, intending to head off whatever Jill had in mind.

The word had barely left her mouth before Jill began nuzzling at her throat, kissing along her collarbone and into the little area where the neck and shoulder met. Mae gave a tiny whimper of pleasure. It had not taken Jill long to discover that spot. Mae felt her top being pushed off her shoulder and suffered a moment of panic.

Last night had happened so quickly, Mae had not been able to worry. But now in the light of morning, old insecurities and fears reared their heads.

She knew she was not just petite, but in truth rather boyish in build, small breasts, no butt to speak of, little in the way of curves. Mae could not even tell herself she was cute. Her lank blond hair and the angular face that greeted her in the mirror everyday saw to that. At her best, Mae felt plain. It was difficult for her to imagine that someone like Jill, a woman who was as gorgeous as they came, would find her desirable.

Jill must have sensed her change in mood, because the urgent kisses on her skin stopped. Mae opened her eyes and looked at her partner, an apology on her lips. She had unconsciously raised her arms to cover her breasts. “I’m sorry, I’m—”

“Beautiful,” Jill whispered. “You’re beautiful.” She took Mae’s face in her hands and leaned into her.

The kiss was soft and urgent. It told Mae everything she needed to know. She let her arms fall to her side; allowed Jill to slip her top the rest of the way off. Mae pushed Jill onto her back, all thoughts of poor body image and breakfast forgotten.

Mae watched Jill frown at the second bite of her cinnamon roll. “Man, these are stale.”

“Sorry,” Mae replied. “I got distracted and left them in the microwave.”

“Well, I’ll forgive you, just this once.”

Mae kept a blank look on her face as she held Jill’s gaze. They were silent for a moment, and then both women burst into laughter.

They were seated across from each other at the table in the eat-in kitchen, each with a warm-though-stale cinnamon roll and a hot cup of coffee before them. They had decided to shower and dress after their morning exertions. When they reached the kitchen, Mae remembered the pastries in the microwave. They managed to salvage them, but it was not the finest breakfast either woman had ever eaten.

“At least the peaches and coffee are good,” Mae said. She noted that while Jill was complaining about the lack of freshness of the rolls, she was still wolfing them down.

“The coffee is perfect,” Jill agreed, raising her cup. “But we’re going to have to figure out a way to get some real food if we’re going to stay here much longer.”

They finished breakfast in silence, both of them occasionally looking out the window at the grounds outside and the slowly freezing lake beyond. It was snowing again, large fat flakes drifting slowly from the sky to the ground.

Mae rose and brought the coffee pot back to the table, refilling both of their cups. She watched Jill spoon sugar into her drink. She gave Jill a bemused look.

Jill smiled at her. “I thought I might need a little boost.”

Mae replaced the pot in the coffeemaker and settled across from Jill. She pushed the sleeves of her sweatshirt up to her elbows and rested them on the table.

“Happy Halloween,” she told her new lover.

Jill snorted. “I’d rather be handing out sweets to screaming munchkins than going to that party tonight.”

“Speaking of which, do you have something to wear?”

“I’m sure I can find a dress in one of the closets. The family used to throw parties here all the time. I’ll bet Mother left something I can wear.”

Mae raised an eyebrow. “I’d think everything would be summer wear.”

“A little black dress works no matter the season.”

“I look forward to seeing you in that.”

Jill smirked and raised her cup. “You mean you look forward to getting me out of it.” She took a sip around her growing smile.

“That too,” Mae agreed. She returned Jill’s smile for a moment, then licked her lips. “When this is over, then what?”

“Assuming we survive? We go about our lives.”

Mae frowned and leaned back in her chair. “I’m not sure it’s going to be that easy. I doubt I’ll be able to continue working for CPS.” Mae leaned forward again, placing her elbows on the table and fidgeting with her cup. “Even if we rescue Fay and cut Hodgins and his friends off from Annwn, they’re still going to be rich, influential people. Rich, influential people who are going to be angry with you and me.”

“We’ll deal with them when the time comes.”

Mae swallowed and looked down at the table. “It feels like everything will change, no matter what tonight’s outcome. Either we’re going to end up dead or spend the rest of our lives running and looking over our shoulders.”

Mae heard the scrape of Jill’s chair as the woman rose and moved to the chair next to her. Jill reached out and took her hands, but Mae was unable to look into her eyes.

“I’m sorry I got you mixed up in this,” Mae whispered.

Jill took her by the chin. Mae let the other woman turn her face so that they were looking at each other. She was surprised to find Jill smiling at her.

“Okay, first of all, I’m not sorry I got mixed up in this. No matter what goes down tonight, I got what I wanted. That would be you. Second, my
goodness
but your moods
are
up and down, aren’t they?”

“I blame it on the faerie blood,” Mae said, the tiniest bit of humor back in her voice.

“Blame it on whatever you want, but stop it. All we can do is take this one step at a time. The first thing we do is rescue your sister. If we have to spend the rest of our lives hiding from angry mages and murderous faeries, well, so be it.” Jill leaned back in the wooden kitchen chair and crossed her arms. She paused in thought. “I wonder what my brother and his friends are planning. For me, that is.”

“Something awful,” Mae answered. “I want you to be extra careful.”

“I will. I think I can handle myself, as long as what they’re planning doesn’t involve elder gods and a lot of tentacles. If that’s the case, expect me to run screaming from that mansion.”

Mae snorted. “I doubt that’s what you’ll encounter. I would remind you about what Hodgins nearly did to me. He was by himself and almost took control of my body. Tonight you’ll be walking into a houseful of people like him.”

“Regular ray o’ sunshine, that’s what you are. Is there any significance to tonight, besides it being Halloween and the spookiest night of the year?”

“According to mythology, tonight is the night the veil between the realms is the thinnest. It’s supposed to be a good night to communicate with the dead.”

Jill nodded. “Great, so I should expect zombies? Vampires? Ghouls?”

“Yes. What time is your brother coming to pick you up?”

“Sixish.” Jill finished her coffee. “We’re going with the original plan?”

Mae nodded. “I’ll head across country to the house immediately after you leave. You get inside, find a bathroom with an exterior window and unlock it.”

“I’ll need something to signal you. I can leave a piece of cloth in the window or something.”

“Sounds good,” Mae said. “I’ll need to make sure I have a way to cut through a window screen.”

“There are tools in the garage. We’ll find something,” Jill said. “Once I’ve unlocked the window, I’ll give you twenty minutes, then I’ll try to slip away and look for you, all the while keeping my eyes open for any clue to Fay’s location or the place where they access Annwn.”

“And if one of us finds Fay before we’ve found each other?”

“Grab Fay. If she knows how to find the gate, then go to it. If she doesn’t, then run. Call the other one when possible.”

Mae nodded. Of course, it was all well and good for them to talk about abandoning the other, at least in practice. In reality, Mae suspected they would both fail to follow that part of the plan. “We should set our cell phones to vibrate.”

Jill shook her head, making her black hair dance around her face. “We sound like a bad spy movie.”

Mae kept her expression carefully neutral. “Should we set up recognition words, just in case?”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Only half.”

“Well, at least it
is
only half. What do you think Fay looks like, anyway? It occurred to me that neither of us have ever seen her.”

Mae smiled without humor. “I’d suspect she resembles Mirallyn.”

“True,” Jill said.

“I wish Kravis and mother were here.”

“Should we go over the plan again?” Jill asked after swallowing her last sip of coffee.

Mae shook her head. “No. Let’s rest and not worry now.”

“Rest?” Jill asked, her eye filled with mirth.

Mae stood and took Jill by the hands. She pulled the taller woman from her seat and started dragging her down the hallway back toward the bedroom.