Last Chance (38 page)

mind to keep from crying. It had been a while since she'd wanted to just curl

up and sob her heart out.

She tried to tell herself that all was not lost. Apparently Noah had

some good intel or he wouldn't be gathering a team and coming here for a

meeting. Jamie Kendrick could still be alive and rescue could still be

possible. She prayed with all her heart that it was true.

But Lucas...Tears filled her eyes before she could stop them. Lucas

had lied to her. The most authentic, beautiful relationship she'd ever had was

based on lies. Not only had he used photographs of them together to lure

Damon, he was apparently some sort of assassin. Former or current, she

didn't know. But no one could move the way he had, make the executionstyle shot he'd made, without extensive, focused training.

She had been stupid enough to buy his earlier explanation that he had

taken training because of his wealth. It had been a long time since McKenna

had felt so naive and stupid. She despised the feeling.

What other lies had he told her? He claimed that he had lured Damon

out to kill him for her. That she believed. But what about the way he'd

treated her? His kisses, his lovemaking. Had those been to keep her there?

Were they all part of an elaborate scheme? Had she fallen in love with a man

who in his own way had been using her?

"McKenna, don't."

She turned to see Lucas standing in the doorway. "Don't what? Don't

doubt everything you've ever told me? Don't doubt that every word that

came from you had a secret agenda behind it?"

"What secret agenda would that be? Trying to protect you?"

"Dammit, Lucas. You're not my bodyguard. I never asked for your

protection."

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His jaw worked as he apparently tried to control his temper,

something she hadn't even known he had. His face went hard as he spotted

the bruises on her face. Then his eyes flared hot when he saw her throat.

"The bastard hit you and almost choked you to death, didn't he? Is that why

you can barely speak above a whisper?"

"He gave me some sort of injection...froze my vocal cords so I

couldn't speak during the wedding." The pain Damon had inflicted was no

longer significant. It was the bruising of her heart she wasn't sure she'd

recover from.

He blew out an explosive curse. He was obviously furious, but

dammit, his fury couldn't begin to rival her hurt. She endured his hard stare

for several more seconds, returning it with one of her own.

Finally he said, "I've ordered food. You look ready to drop, and I

haven't eaten in over twenty-four hours. Let's eat and then we'll talk."

Her stomach twisted at the thought of food, but she knew he was

right. She hadn't eaten a real meal in almost a week, not since she'd left

Lucas's home. Giving him a stiff nod, she said, "I'll be out in a minute."

With one last frustrated glance, he closed the door, allowing her

privacy.

Taking advantage of the bath amenities on the counter, McKenna at

last started to feel almost human again. She pulled the hotel robe from the

hook and wrapped it around her body. At some point she'd have to figure out

a way to get some clothes. Right now she couldn't care less. This robe was

the first thing she'd worn in days that wasn't tainted by Damon. She relished

the stench-free feeling.

The sound of a door being closed and low male voices told her their

meal had arrived. Straightening her spine, determined to get answers and

deal with whatever she had to, McKenna opened the door.

Lucas looked up as McKenna entered the room. Her anger at him was

understandable and expected. He could deal with and identify with that.

Even while he'd been making the plans to remove Damon from her life, he

had recognized she'd be furious once she found out. Her hurt, however, was

another matter. And from what he could tell, she was not only hurt because

of the photographs, she was hurt that he hadn't told her about his past.

"Come eat." Luring her with food was a dirty trick, but right now he

had to use all available weapons.

She sat down at the small table, and without asking her, he began to

fill her plate. He took a seat across from her and then poured two cups of

coffee. When she did nothing other than pick up a piece of toast and nibble

on it, he realized the weapon wouldn't work this time.

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He sighed. "Okay, McKenna. Let's get it out in the open. First, tell me

why you were at Hughes's estate."

"I went to..." She cleared her throat. Her voice sounded a little

stronger but was still hoarse. "He kidnapped a woman, Jamie Kendrick. I

went in to rescue her."

Lucas shook his head. "Too easy. From what I know about the man,

Hughes wasn't into kidnapping. Tell me the whole story."

"Jamie Kendrick has an amazing resemblance to how I used to look

years ago. Damon's people abducted her, believing it was me living under

another name."

"That's why you left London." His gut clenched. She had known when

she left him that she'd be facing her worst nightmare. Part of him was in awe

of her courage and selflessness; another part wanted to spank her ass for

being so damned willing to sacrifice herself. When the hell would she start

looking out for her own well-being? He ground out his words through

clenched teeth. "I'm assuming you made an exchange."

"That was the plan. LCR was helping. I contacted Damon, arranged

the exchange. Our plan was to get Jamie, but also capture Damon."

"So you
do
work for LCR?"

"I didn't when we first met. I do now."

"And things didn't go as planned?"

"The woman he brought wasn't Jamie. I'm not sure who she is. The

men who brought her got away. A helicopter swooped down and a man

hanging from a ladder was there to grab me." She shrugged as if it were no

big deal. "Since I knew it wasn't Jamie that Damon had released, I had no

choice but to go with him."

Lucas nodded, trying to appear undisturbed by her statement. Hard as

hell to do. She could easily have been killed, yet she talked about her

experience as casually as if she'd been chatting about the damned weather.

He kept his tone even. "So you sacrificed yourself to rescue the girl. You

could have been killed."

Again she shrugged. "I knew Damon wouldn't kill me."

"No, just rape and beat you." Lucas took a breath. He had to know.

"Did he rape you?"

"No."

Relieved beyond words, he looked at the hideous bruises on her neck.

The fury reemerged. "But he did hit you, choke you."

When she shrugged again, it was all he could do not to shout at her

that her life was worth a hell of a lot more than she apparently thought it

was. Raising his voice and giving in to his anger wouldn't solve a damn

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thing.

Either she was getting better at reading him or he wasn't as skilled as

he used to be in hiding his thoughts, because she sighed and said, "I had to

take the chance, Lucas. She never would have been taken if I--"

Leaning forward, he locked eyes with her. "Dammit, McKenna. You

have got to stop blaming yourself for Damon Hughes's acts."

She looked down at her plate. "I guess that's a moot point now since

he's dead."

"Is it? Or will you try to find every person Hughes ever hurt, as if

you're responsible for the bastard's existence on this earth?"

She flinched again. This time Lucas refused to feel guilty. However,

he did want the rest of the story. "I'm assuming you had a plan if you got

taken?"

"I had a GPS device...a ring."

For the first time Lucas saw something different in her eyes: shame.

Through clenched teeth again, he said, "He made you strip."

She nodded. "In the helicopter. He threw everything out the window;

LCR couldn't track me. When we got to his estate, I hoped Jamie would be

there. She wasn't. I asked him where she was. At first he denied that it hadn't

been her. Then when I told him I knew it wasn't her, he just shrugged and

said one girl was as good as another. And that he was the only one who

knew where Jamie was."

"That's why you needed to keep him alive."

"Yes."

"'I'm sorry' sounds trite in the aftermath, but I am."

"You're right, it does sound trite. I know you didn't intend to mess

things up, but my God, Lucas, how could you have done this? Not only have

you lied to me almost from the moment we met, you could have been

killed."

"First of all, I haven't lied to you about anything. Yes, I kept some

things from you, but I damn well didn't lie. And I might have been killed,

but getting him out of your life was worth the risk."

"That wasn't your choice. I fight my own battles, my own demons.

I've never asked for your help."

"Friends don't have to--"

Her eyes blazed with hurt fury. "No. Stop right there. Don't you dare

use the friendship card with me. You want to talk about friendship? Let's

talk about sharing everything, including the fact that you're obviously a

trained assassin."

Damned if he'd apologize for that. "I swore an oath, McKenna. One I

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take very seriously. When I left the agency, I was never to speak of it."

"I understand all about promises, Lucas, but I also understand

something you don't seem to get." She leaned forward, and the hurt he had

glimpsed earlier was so much worse than what he'd thought. "I told you

every single fucking thing about my entire life. Everything, Lucas. Even the

parts that totally humiliated me, that tore me to pieces. I opened my soul and

let you in."

"McKenna, I--" Hell, what could he say? From her perspective, she

was right. From his, the two weren't even close. "The things you shared with

me...your pain, humiliation. Those were personal, heart-wrenching things.

My experience with the agency was a job. An important one, but still just a

job."

"A job that defined you. Just as my experience defined me."

"Hell, no. Not in the same way."

She blew out a sigh. "You took your former experience and used it

to..." She rubbed the side of her head as if she had a headache. "Dammit,

Lucas, I feel so damned betrayed, I can't even speak my mind." Dropping

the toast she'd barely nibbled at, she stood.

"Where are you going?"

"I haven't slept in almost a week." She turned and shuffled toward the

bed. Seconds later she was curling up on her side, facing away from him.

Pain wrenched deep within Lucas. The expression on McKenna's face,

the way she held herself...they tore at him. For the first time since he'd met

her, she looked dispirited and defeated.

There were a lot of things Lucas wanted to say to her, wanted to do.

He wanted to hold her and promise her everything would be perfect. That he

would fix everything for her. He wanted to haul her into his arms and tell her

she damn well should understand his perspective. He'd been trying to take

care of a major problem for her. And he had solved one problem, but in the

process he had screwed up a job, and another life was still on the line.

He closed his eyes. Hell, what could he say? He had fucked up, bigtime. And now just what the hell was he going to do about it?

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Twenty-four

Warm arms surrounded her; McKenna snuggled back against the hard

body behind her. She was only half awake, but her subconscious mind was

aware enough to whisper a reminder of Lucas's betrayal and lies. Her heart,

though bruised and aching, told her to cherish being in the arms of the man

she loved, no matter the cost. McKenna shut down her mind and listened to

her heart.

Turning in his arms, she breathed, "Make love to me."

The darkness cast his face in shadows, but she was able to see the

tender desire in his expression. His lips, hot and wild, pressed against hers,

seeking entrance. McKenna opened hers and moaned as his delicious,

familiar taste filled her mouth. Only this one man had ever created this

powerful, life-affirming feeling inside her. As if he was the key that

unlocked every secret door she had. Every need met. Every longing

answered.

He drew back, his breath feathering her face. "I know we still have

things to sort out, but this here, between us...it's real, McKenna.
We
are

real."

Unable to give him an answer, she pulled at his shoulders to bring him

down for another kiss. She didn't want to talk right now. If she did, she'd

start thinking. And that would bring back the hurt.

Resisting her attempts to pull him down to her, he said, "Lie back,

love. Let me show you how real it is."

McKenna dropped her arms to her sides, but Lucas had other ideas.

Pulling each arm from the sleeve of her robe, she thought he would let them

go. Instead he held both her wrists in one hand and whispered, "Do you trust

me, McKenna?"

Before today, the answer would have been a fervent yes, without even

thinking. Now she hesitated. And though she couldn't see his face, she could

feel the hurt she'd just dealt him. Yet she had to answer yes. Because despite