Last Christmas (Bound Together) (10 page)

“Where are you going?”

I looked back at the bag and smiled. I didn’t want me going away to ever be something that made Patrick sad.

“I’m just going to visit my friends for a few days for the holidays. I’ll be back for Christmas though, I promise.”

He looked at me, unsure for a moment before throwing his arms around my waist and hugging me tightly. I crouched down in front of him and hugged him back.

“Hey, come on. It’s just a few days. You look after mom while I’m gone okay? You’re the man of the house. You’re the boss.”

He smiled at me “Does that mean I get to stay up late and ride the monster like you do?” I chuckled.

“No. You still have to go to bed and you’re way too young to be driving. But, it does mean that I trust you to be responsible and behave yourself. You can call me anytime. My number’s by the phone.”

Grabbing my bag, I headed down stairs as he followed behind me.  Mom was waiting by the door and smiled at us as we walked down.

“Be safe and cal
l when you arrive. Understand? “I gave her a playful salute and turned to Patrick.

“Be good alright?” He gave me a salute of his own and I laughed, hard.

I hated leaving him, but I was in a bad place and my head was all over. I couldn’t be the brother I should be or a role model he could be proud of till I got my shit together. I just hoped that Amy and Mel weren’t still mad at me.

Chapter 11

Home

The drive to Pasadena seemed to fly by. I thought the ride would help clear my head, but it didn’t and by the time I pulled up outside the girls’ apartment, I was more confused than ever.

I knocked on the door and held my breath.
Please don’t still be mad. Please don’t still be mad.
Amy opened the door and cocked her head to the side.

I sighed and rubbed my eyes with my finger and thumb.

“I fucked up Amy. Can I come home now?”

She gave me a sympathetic smile and nodded. “Of course you can. You always could.”

I walked in and threw my bag on the couch. Mel was sitting in her usual chair and as I walked in, she immediately got up and threw her arms around me. “Oh rock star. I’m so glad to see you. Are you okay?”

Slumping down onto the couch, I rested my elbows on my knees and held my head in my hands. Amy and Mel sat on either side of me and draped an arm around my shoulders.

“I fucked it up. I thought I could get the old Ollie back but it looks like he got ripped out of me right around the time Layla showed up. What the hell am I supposed to do?”

Mel rested her head on my shoulder. “You just need to figure out what you want. Find a new dream and maybe go back to college.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. All I know is that I’m fucking miserable. I have banged, fucked and screwed every girl I met and I still can’t fill this fucking hole in the pit of my stomach.”

Amy let out a long breath. “Ollie, why don’t you come with us to Mel’s parent’s this weekend? We’re leaving tomorrow to stay there while they’re on their annual trip to the mountains.”

I stared at her in disbelief. “You’re kidding right?”

She gave me a confused look before turning to Mel, I guess hoping for answers. Mel rolled her eyes at her. “Oh Amy, come on. Yes Ollie, come stay in the house right next door to Layla’s family home and the place you spent one of the happiest Christmas’ of your life!”

Amy winced. “Oh shit. I’m sorry Ollie, I forgot. You can totally stay here if you want.”

I thought about my options they’d given me and though I really didn’t want the trip down memory lane, I didn’t want to be alone either. Taking the lesser of two evils, I agreed to go to Mel’s house. I mean, it’s not like Layla was going to be there. She and
Mr. Millions
were spending Christmas in Paris or London or Rome. Or wherever the fuck else he was taking her.

“No, I’ll come. I’d rather be in pain there with you guys than here on my own.”

****

Pulling into the driveway at Mel’s place, I took off my helmet and stared at the house. Layla’s house. The door I’d kissed her up against. The driveway I’d chased her down after her parents caught us that night and the lights her father had hung by himself this year. My heart ached as a whole barrage of memories came flooding back to me.

Mel caught me staring and called out to me. “Hey spunk punk, help me get the bags?”

I shot her a quick smile and headed over to the car to help her unload.

“Don’t torture yourself Ollie. Help me get this shit inside and we can order some pizza. Sound good?”

I gave her a peck on the cheek and hauled a very large Louis Vuitton case out of the trunk.

“Sounds perfect.”

****

Lying on the floor, I laughed as Amy groaned and moaned, rolling around beside me. “I told you not to eat that last slice. Know your limits grasshopper.” Mel belched loudly from the couch.

“I am so proud of you. The student has surpassed the teacher.” She fisted her hand and did a little air punch.

“Hell yeah! Five slices and he’s all ‘oh God I can’t eat another bite’ while I’m over here all ‘fuck yeah! Eight slices bitches!’”

I chuckled and shook my head at her. “Wanna put a movie on?”

Mel and Amy had gone to the store while I unpacked and had picked up some movies for us to watch.

“Sure. Amy, put one on.”

Grumbling, Amy slid and crawled over to the tv and put on the movie at the top of the pile.

“What is it Amy?”

Amy shrugged. “Just a random thriller I picked up. Sounded good though.”

I stared at the screen and as the opening titles came on, I took in a sharp breath.

It was the same movie I had taken Layla to that first trip to the movies. I held my hand to my chest absentmindedly. She’d spent most of the movie with her head buried there and I could still remember the sound of her breathing whenever it got too scary.

A cushion hit me on the back of the head and I snapped my head round to glare at Mel. “What the fuck is wrong with you? I said could you go get the popcorn?”

I shook the thoughts of Layla and the movies from my head, got to my feet and headed for the kitchen.

Standing in front of the microwave, I gripped the edge of the counter tightly.

A pair of arms wrapped around my waist and a body pressed into my back.

“I’m sorry I was so mean to you, Ollie. You were right who you see and what you do is your business.”

I turned and hugged Amy to my chest tightly.

“No, you were right. I thought I knew what I was doing but I was totally fucked up to think it could make me feel better or take the pain away.”

“Shhh. You didn’t fuck it up. You got lost and went on the rebound, Ollie. It’s normal. Everybody does it. Come watch the movie with us. You’ll feel better.”

I shook my head. “I doubt it. That’s the movie I took Layla to.” She gave me an apologetic look.

“Oh, well that’s okay; we can totally switch it off and…”

I smiled at her and held up my hand to silence her talking. “No it’s cool. I was gonna take a walk anyway. I think I can still find my way around. You guys watch the movie and I’ll be back soon.”

“You sure?”

I nodded enthusiastically.

“Abso-fuckin-lutely.”

The microwave pinged and I released my hold on her. I took the bag of popcorn out and handed it to Amy. “I’m gonna head out then. I’ll be back in like an hour.”

We walked into the living room and Mel eyed me curiously. “You’re not watching the movie with us?”

I shook my head. “Nah, you watch. I was thinking of taking a walk so I’m gonna head out. I’ll be back in a little while. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, which these days, gives you a lot of free reign.” I winked at the two of them and smiled as I watched my friends cozy up on the couch together.

God I missed that.

****

I walked for about thirty minutes around the streets near Mel’s place before heading to the one place I knew I would end up, whether I tried to avoid it or not.

It was past nine in the evening and the whole park was silent. Walking across the lush grass I saw our spot and stopped dead in my tracks. I closed my eyes tightly before opening them and heading for the large tree in the middle of the lawn.

I stared at the engraving and held my hand over the letters. Tears were in my eyes and I was glad that I was alone because as I turned my back against the tree and slumped to the ground, I cried. For the first time since that night I caught Layla coming home from that asshole’s place, I cried. I wasn’t sobbing or bawling, no shit like that. I just…cried.

I missed her and even though I knew I shouldn’t. Even though every breath in my body screamed I shouldn’t, I still loved her.

I rested my head against the wood behind me and swiped my tears away before standing up.

I brushed myself down and turned to look at the tree one last time.
Sentimental shit. It meant nothing to her and it should mean nothing to you anymore. Forget it.

God, if it were only that fucking simple I wouldn’t be in this mess. Cursing myself under my breath, I hit my fist hard against the tree. I slammed into it over and over till my knuckles dripped with blood.

I hated her so much for doing this to me and I hated myself for letting her.

Mad at myself for crying and getting so emotional over a tree, I stormed back to the house.

Amy and Mel stared at me as I burst through the front door and flung myself onto the couch.

“You okay rock star?”

I snapped back at Mel. “Fine. Never fucking better.”

She arched a brow at me. “Uh huh. Come on stud, out with it. We’re your girls, guys and mother all ro
lled into one so start talking.”

I growled in frustration.

“I fucking hate her! I hate her so much! How could she do this to me? How can she still make me so crazy!? It’s not fair. She’s wherever she is, sipping champagne and falling in love all over again, while I sit next to a stupid fucking tree and cry over an engraving! What’s up with that!?”

“You don’t hate her Ollie. You wish you did.”

“I want to hate her. I wanna hate her so fucking bad it’s tearing me up. This time last year, you know, last Christmas? I had everything I ever dreamed of. I was spending Christmas with my family. With you and Layla and even her folks. It felt so…right. I had her guys. She said she was mine and I really thought she was too. I can’t stand this anymore.”

I was getting worked up. I stood abruptly and pulled my hoodie over my head. Amy gasped and Mel rushed to seize my arm.

“What the fuck is that Ollie?”

I glanced at my right arm and realized they’d found it.

“A tattoo. What does it look like?”

Amy ran her fingers over it and smiled, shaking her head.

“Oh Ollie.”

After that night with Lizzie, I went to the tattoo parlor and got my new ink. Trailing down my right arm was a heart shaped puzzle. It was shaded with a missing piece in the center and the words ‘you are the missing piece of my heart’. Mel stared at me in disbelief and I had to look away. Amy held her hand to her mouth and tears filled her eyes.

“Oh Oliver. You really do love her, don’t you?”

I nodded weakly and stared at the ground. “Yes. I do.”

Mel shook her head fiercely. “Right, that’s it. I’ve had enough.”

Gripping my arms she turned me to face her and gave me a hard stare. “You love my girl? I mean really love her Ollie. I’m talking take a bullet; rip your heart out for her kind of love.”

“Yes. You know I do. I’d kill for her, die for her and do everything I can to make her happy. But she doesn’t want me.”

Mel snorted. “Oh for crying out loud Ollie she has no fucking idea what she wants! Layla Jennings is irrational, illogical and she makes bad decisions all the time! Do you want her? Do you want to be with her?”

I couldn’t understand where this was going but my heart was beating faster and my breathing was getting harsher.

“Yes! Okay! Is that what you wanna hear? That I’m crazy about her. I want to marry her! I want to carry her over our threshold to our little home and make dozens of beautiful children with her. I want to make her happy and tell her I love her every damn day for the rest of my life!”

Amy squealed with excitement next to me.

“What the fuck are you so happy about? I got my heart ripped out and handed to me remember?”

She shook her head.

“I knew you couldn’t hate her. I knew you still loved her!”

Mel rolled her eyes and turned me back to face her again.

“If you want her Ollie, go get her. Fight for her. Don’t give up. It’s not over until someone says I do. Now do you want that to be him, or you?”

I stared at her for a moment before closing my eyes tightly. I watched as images of Layla, our time together and everything we’d been through, flashed in front of me. My eyes flew open and I smiled at down at Mel.