Last Christmas (Bound Together) (9 page)

Lisa

Oh dear God! Stalker? Bunny boiler? The crazy ass bitch watched me sleep to make sure I didn’t bail! Thank God for bladders. The second she went to the bathroom, I was outta there like a bullet from a gun! Note to self…try and avoid the nut jobs and clingy chicks that just got dumped. She wasn’t on the rebound. She was on the fucking prowl!

Chapter 10

Screwed

I held my breath as I tiptoed silently out of Alice’s room. I think her name was Alice, or maybe it was Alex. It was Al…something. Anyway, I crept as quietly as I could, not because I was afraid of waking her, no that would have been fine, I could have come up with an excuse and told her I’ll call her. No, it was the one hundred and twenty pound pit bull, lying in her hall that had me praying my sneakers would live up to their name.

I made it to the front door and breathed a sigh of relief. Reaching for the handle I gently turned it and glanced back over my shoulder. Silence and stillness.
Thank you God.
I was so caught up in my victory, that I didn’t see the squeaky toy on the floor and as my foot landed heavily on it I winced.

No time for thinking, I yanked the door open and made my escape just as the dog came hurtling down the hall toward me. I could hear the girl yelling as I stood on the other side of the door with my foot jammed between it and the frame. The damn animal had caught my sneaker in its mouth and was pulling on it, tearing the material.

“Boxer! Boxer! Stop that!” The girl was coming down the hall and I was actually glad to hear her voice. The dog released my foot and as the door opened I saw why. Glaring at me with Boxer’s collar gripped in her hand, the girl held the dog back as it barked and growled at me.

“Bailing without saying a word? You’re such an asshole.”

I ran my fingers through my hair and shrugged.

“You looked so peaceful. I didn’t want to wake you.”
Liar. You didn’t wanna do the whole crying, self-hate thing they do when they realize they’ve been used.

“What a load of bullshit! You were bailing. You’re such a douche. I knew you had a rep but seriously? Grow the fuck up.”

“Hey, don’t hate the player.”

“You did not seriously try to use that line? Urgh. Not every girl you go to bed with wants to marry you for crying out loud. But a cup of coffee and a thanks would be something. It’s just good manners.”

Shit
. I hadn’t thought about it like that. She was still glaring at me but her expression had softened a little.

“Sorry. I just thought…”

“You thought you were hot stuff and that every girl wants a fucking relationship with you. Well, sorry to burst your bubble but I don’t. I’m going to make coffee and toast. Now, are you in or out?”

“If you’ll call off the hound then I’m in.”

She rolled her eyes and pulled the dog out of the way so I could get in. It growled at me but she tugged on the collar and spoke in another language. The dog instantly calmed down and as she released it, it picked up the toy I had woken it with and headed for its bed.

Phew.

She led me to the kitchen and gestured for me to take a seat at her breakfast bar.

“So who was she?”

What the fuck?

“Excuse me?”

She chuckled and handed me a freshly brewed cup of coffee.

“The girl who broke your heart and made you go all douchie.”

I let out a long breath and stared down at my coffee.

“Kinda personal don’t you think?”

She snorted a laugh and leaned against the counter with her cup in her hands.

“We had sex Oliver. I think we’re way past coy, don’t you?”

She did have a point.

“It’s a complicated and long ass story.”

She blew lightly on her drink.

“Well my coffee’s pretty hot and I happen to like complicated. So why don’t you start with her name.”

She walked over and sat on the stool beside me.

Looking across the room at the wall, I told her about Layla, about him, about all of it.

“Wow. A text? That’s cold. No wonder you’re screwed up.”

I shot her an irritated look. “I’m not screwed up.”

She shrugged. “Really? Tell me, how many woman have you fucked since you broke up?”

I didn’t want to answer. I’d already done to adding up and I was well into double figures.

“A few.”

“I bet. And tell me, do you actually feel any better?”

I got off the stool, placed my cup on the counter and kissed her cheek.

“Thanks for the coffee. I gotta go. And thanks for last night too. I’ll see you around.”

She smiled and shook her head.

“Okay, if that’s how you handle it. Great for you. It won’t work though, just so you know. I tried it. I’m still doing it. You’re number forty five for me. And we both know I won’t see you again. I prefer it that way too. I’ll walk you out.”

I glanced at Boxer and walked cautiously past the beast.

The girl laughed. “He won’t bite you. I called him off.”

I gave her a weak smile. Opening the door, I walked into the hallway of her apartment building. She leaned against the frame and placed her hand on my arm.

“It will get better. But what you’re doing is just making other people as miserable as you. You know how it feels to wake up and feel used, worthless and unwanted?”

Yeah, I knew exactly how that felt. It’s how I felt every damn day and whenever I thought about Layla.

I nodded. “Yeah. Anyway, take care of yourself and that mutt.” She smiled and nodded at me.

“You take care too, Oliver and it’s Alice, by the way.”

Alice. I was right the first time.

I smiled and made my way out to the parking lot where my monster was glistening in the morning sunlight.

Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out my cell.

I dialed and it answered on the first ring.

“Amy? I screwed it all up. Can I come home now?”

****

I walked in my front door and my mom immediately came bustling towards me from the kitchen.

“Where have you been? I’ve hardly see
n
you for two weeks. You stay out almost every night and Patrick has been asking me constantly where you are. Are you on drugs?”

She cupped my face with her hands and pulled my bottom eyelids down with her thumbs. I batted her hands away and groaned.

“Will you get off of me? I am not on drugs. I’ve just been…busy. That’s all.”

She gave me a judgmental look. “I hope you used protection with these things that have kept you so busy.”

I rolled my eyes. “Well duh, I’m not that stupid. Just because you were a screw up doesn’t mean I am.”

She fisted her hands on her hips and glared at me.

“Okay Oliver. That’s it. Enough is enough. I don’t care how you talk to me or treat me, I deserve it. I know I have to earn your trust and your respect but I will not sit idly by and watch you destroy yourself over that girl! I knew the moment I met her that she was trouble and I begged her to let you go.
”

“
You can hate me, you can never speak to me again but I love you and I will always look out for you. I let you down as a kid and I will not do it again. You need to get your shit together and work this out before you really get hurt or hurt someone else.“

I was speechless. She was actually making sense. For the first time since we’d reconnected, I actually…felt something for her. It wasn’t love and it definitely wasn’t respect; it was more like…gratitude? She
cared
about me. She cared enough about me to let me hate her and she still wanted to protect me and help me? Wow.

I stared at her for a moment and she gave me a sympathetic look.

“I’m fucked up. I don’t know what to do, think or feel anymore. I need to get away for a while. I’m gonna go stay with Amy and Mel.”

She nodded weakly.

“It’s Christmas next Tuesday. Will you be back? And what about your job?”

I gave her a reassuring smile.

“I’ll be back for Christmas. I promised Patrick remember? It’s our first Christmas together. And I already asked Mark for some vacation time over the holidays. I’m off till New Year’s.”

She gave me a cautious look as she gently wrapped her arms around me. I guess she wondered if it was okay. Deciding to cut her some slack, for the first time since we met, I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back. I could feel her body shake slightly as she sniffed through her tears.

“Shhh, don’t…don’t cry.” I sighed deeply as she buried her face in my chest. She held me so tightly, as though it were for the very last time.

“I’m so sorry Oliver. For everything. I wasn’t there for you when you needed me most and when I was, I was the worst at the job. But I promise, no matter what, I will always be the mother you deserve now. I won’t screw this up ever again. I love you little dark haired boy.”

What did she call me?
I pulled away and stared at her as a faint but distinct memory, came flooding back to me.

I remember being very small. I was playing in the backyard and I tripped over my father’s toolbox. All his stuff fell out and sprawled across the lawn. The weather had been bad and the ground was thick with mud. My father came out and oh boy was he mad. He picked me up by the collar and yelled at me. He yelled so loud it made my ears hurt. All I remember next was seeing his belt. I thought he was gonna hit me with it for sure but he didn’t. He didn’t because…she stopped him. I remember that. She took me away from him, into the house and put me in my room. And I remember what she said to me.

“You mustn’t make him mad sweetheart. You know how he gets when he’s had his special drink. Play in your room and be quiet okay? There’s my good little dark haired boy.”

Fuck!
She cared about me and once, just once in the entire time she was in my life, she’d protected me. I stared at her and I could feel the tears in my own eyes. Maybe there was hope for us yet.

“What is it Oliver? What’s wrong?”

I stuttered and stumbled over my words.

“You...I…I remember when you called me that.”

She nodded and tears slid silently down her red cheeks.

“I should have called you that every day for your whole life. I messed it up so badly, Oliver, but when I see the man you are today, I am so proud to be able to call you my son. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I will never let you down again. I swear it.”

I wanted to believe her. I wanted to trust her and what she said. But it was going to take a lot more than a memory to make me put my faith in her again. I felt a little bad for her and even kind of sad to see her so upset. Seeing a woman cry was always something I’d been uncomfortable with, even when they should be.

I placed my hand on her shoulder and sighed deeply.

“I should get going. It’s a long drive to Pasadena.”

“What should I tell Patrick?”

I shook my head. “It’s okay. I’ll talk to him.”

She nodded in agreement and opened her mouth to speak but closed it quickly again. There was obviously something she needed to say and I hated it when people never said what they were thinking.

“What is it? You look like you have something to say.”

“Ollie, do you think you will ever be able to go see your father? I know the man he was and I know the man he is now but when it’s all said and done…he’s still your father.
”

“
You grew up in horrible circumstances, but you had a home, a warm bed at night and food to eat. He wants to see you. It could be your last chance to say all that you need to and get closure. Please tell me you’ll at least think about it?”

My head fell back and I held my hands over my face. I groaned in exasperation.

“I’ll think about it. But that’s all I’ll promise.”

I don’t care how sick he said he was. To me, that asshole had been dead for years. To me, he died the first time he broke my arm, when he scarred me and when he broke bottles over my head at ten years old. I had no sympathy, care or any feeling besides hate for that man.

The mere mention of him had my blood boiling and my temper raging. I needed to calm down before I spoke to Patrick.

Turning on my stereo, I walked around my room and packed my overnight bag.

I heard Patrick come home from school. He always came running in to tell me about his day and today was no exception.

“Ollie! Ollie!”

I came out of my room and yelled down the stairs at him.

“Up here superstar.”

He ran up the stairs and burst into my room.

“I got a B in math!”

He waved a piece of paper in front of me and grinned. Taking it from him I matched his enthusiasm.

“That’s awesome champ! Way to go.”

Tilting his head, he spotted my overnight bag and gave me a puzzled look.