Last of the Summer Tomatoes (16 page)

Sam placed his hand on Kyle’s arm. “Different how?”

“Like my dirty secret is out, and now people will treat me differently. More… worse.”

“You think my parents are going to treat you… like Hank?”

Kyle could tell Sam was trying to keep his voice calm. It made him feel a little better, knowing Sam wanted to protect him from Hank. “No, never like Hank. But… different.”

“Did Mom treat you different this morning?” Kyle shook his head. “Do you think Pops is going to say or do something any different than what he’s done before?” Kyle shook his head again. “I’m trying here, really, but… what’s different?”

“I am.”

Sam raised his head a little. “Ah, I see. You think liking me, kissing me, makes you… different somehow?”

Kyle turned to face Sam. “I don’t know!”

Sam raised his hands, palms out. “Hey, I’m trying to help here.”

“I know!” Kyle brushed passed Sam to grab a seed packet of sage. He turned to lean against the table, his arms crossed. “I… I don’t know. I’m confused.”

“That’s to be expected. Look, you are still Kyle. You are still an artist. You’re going to art school. None of that changed, right?” Kyle nodded. “You’ve known for a long time that you like guys in more than a friendship way. All that’s changed is you’ve found someone who feels the same way you do and wants to be with you.”

“But people know.”

“People… me and my parents. I’m not telling anyone, and I’m pretty sure my parents don’t have a Facebook or Twitter account.”

“But I want to… I want….”

Sam moved closer to Kyle. He ran his hand up Kyle’s arm. “Tell me. Tell me what you want, and I will try to get it for you.”

“I want to go out on a date. I want… I want to hold your hand.”

“Okay, so far I can certainly do that.”

“I want….” Kyle swallowed hard. “I want to hold your hand in public.”

“Okay. Again, I don’t see a problem.”

“But if I hold your hand, you know… out there… then people will know.”

“And if they have a problem with that, then that’s their problem. We aren’t going to go hold hands in front of Hank’s house. He’s not going to know. Most people who would see us won’t know who you are.”

Kyle couldn’t bring his gaze up. “I don’t want to be ashamed.”

“Then don’t be. I promise nothing is going to happen other than we’ll go out to eat, hold hands. I can’t promise we won’t get stares, but other than that, we can go have a good time and enjoy a good meal. Probably not as good as Mom’s cooking, but they can’t all be, can they?” Sam gave him a big smile.

“You’ve… gone out and nothing happened?”

“Other than some stares, no, nothing. If others want to whisper behind my back, so be it. They aren’t my concern. When I’m on a date, I see nothing other than my date. I focus my attention on who I’m with, not anyone else.”

“Wow, I….” Kyle looked up. “I don’t know if I could deal with you focusing all your attention on me.”

“Why? I like talking to you, I like kissing you, I like touching you. You are very likeable, you know.”

“So… so are you.”

“Well then, it’s settled. We’ll go out and focus on each other, no one else. Maybe next weekend?”

“Oh… okay. But, can I ask one thing?”

“Anything. Shoot.”

“If I… if I freak out, you won’t think less of me?”

“I could never think less of you. I’ve been where you are. I understand ‘freak outs’. I won’t take anything personally, I swear. If it gets to be too much, we get something to go and come back here. You do feel safe here, right?”

“Yeah. I think it’s the one place I’ve ever felt safe.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you have this place to go to.” Sam picked up another seed packet. “Let’s get these herbs planted so we can go riding. I swear, Mom is packing a five-course lunch for us to take. She thinks we’re starving.”

“Sometimes I think she wants to fatten me up.”

“Well, that’s what moms are for, you know?”

“Not really.”

“Oh, um, sorry. Tell ya what, I’ll share mine. She’s got plenty of love to spread around.”

“That she does.” Kyle picked up another seed pot. “I guess these aren’t going to fill themselves.”

“True.”

Thirteen

W
ITH
the herbs planted and lunch packed up, they headed up the ridge they had scoped out the previous week. Sam took them farther into the woods, the shade from the trees cooling the air, keeping the humidity down a bit. They rode in silence, enjoying the sounds of nature around them. He stopped them in a small clearing.

“This okay? We could go farther.”

“This is nice. We still on your dad’s property?”

“No, we crossed into the forest preserve about half a mile back.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“You getting some ideas for drawing?” Sam dismounted, resting the saddlebags full of food on the ground.

“Too many. I brought my sketchpad, if you don’t mind.” Kyle got down off Bess.

“I’d like to see what you’ve done. You’ve been a little secretive about what you draw.”

“I…. It’s not very good.”

“Can I be the judge of that?” Sam tied Mike to a tree branch, then took the reins from Kyle and tied Bess to the next tree.

Kyle shrugged. “I guess so.” He pulled his sketchpad out of his saddlebag.

Sam laid a blanket down, spreading out enough food to feed a small army. “Mom packed a little too much. Did she think we weren’t coming back for a few days?”

Kyle looked over Sam’s shoulder. “It’s a little bit of everything in the kitchen.” He quietly laid the sketchpad next to Sam.

“We won’t go hungry, that’s for sure.” Sam grabbed a sandwich and leaned back against his saddle. He picked up the sketchpad, thumbing through it from the beginning. He paused, his finger tracing the outline of something. Kyle chewed on his thumbnail, hugging himself. “You… you drew this one from a dream?” Sam turned the pad around to show Kyle. It was the picture of Sam, but the dream Sam with the blue eyes.

“Yeah.”

“It’s… it is me. When you said you drew me, I thought it would be a passing resemblance. But… wow, it’s me. And it’s… good. Like professional good.”

“Really? Come on, you’re just saying that.”

“No, I mean it. You’re as good as my uncle. You are going to ace art school.”

“I hope so. I want… I really want to do what your uncle did, those beautiful landscapes. I haven’t worked with oil paints too much, too expensive. But if I’m good in sketching… I just hope it translates over to canvas.”

“I’m sure it will, you have talent. I couldn’t draw a stick figure if my life depended on it. I remember getting frowny faces in kindergarten because I couldn’t draw a straight line.”

“You could always try abstract art.” Kyle picked up a sandwich, handing half to Sam.

“Thanks. Eh, I think I’ll leave the art to those with the passion. I like the tinkering with machines better. It’s kinda an art, right?”

“3-D art. Sure.” Kyle smiled.

Sam finished his sandwich in a couple of bites, focusing his attention back on the sketches. He came across one of an older man and a young boy. “This is you and your dad?”

“Yeah. It’s from one of the few pictures I have of him. I kinda have to keep them hidden. I… I found them in the trash soon after Mom married Hank. He… he didn’t want any reminders, I guess.”

Sam shook his head. “Hank is a terrible excuse for a human being.”

“He… he put a roof over our heads, fed us, so he can’t be all that bad.”

“Yes, he is. So yeah, he gave you some basics of living, but he is an ass. Anyway… how old were you here?”

“I just turned seven. The bike was a birthday present.”

“You look like your dad.”

“Another reason Hank doesn’t like me.”

“Hank doesn’t like anyone but himself.” Sam slid over to sit next to Kyle. “Hey, let’s not give Hank any more thought while you’re here, okay? He’s not worth the neuron connections to think about. Tell me about your dad.”

Kyle smiled as he remembered his life BH. “He was great. He loved to hug me. He had big arms. I felt… safe. I don’t think I ever remember him yelling or even mad.”

“I’m glad you have some good memories of him.”

“He…. God, I miss him so much.” Kyle tried to swallow down his feelings.

Sam put his arm around him. “Let it out. It’s okay. No one here but me and the horses.”

Kyle let the tears fall as he laid his head against Sam’s chest.

“I didn’t mean to make you sad. I was hoping you’d remember the good times.”

Kyle nodded. “I try not to remember; it hurts too much. To have to face… you know, to deal with all his hatred, it just makes me miss my dad more.”

Sam placed his hand on Kyle’s chest. “Your father is right here. Your memories of him keep him with you. Don’t let go of the memories. You only have to deal with… you know, him, for what, two, three days when you get home before you head off to school. So hold tight to your dad.”

“And this summer. I… I am having a good time this summer. These memories I know will keep me going. And… I’m glad you’re part of the memories.”

Sam kissed him. “I’m glad you’re part of mine, as well. I hope we can make some better memories.”

“Being out here is great.”

“We’ll come out here more often.”

“Can I… you mind if I sketch a little?”

“I would love to watch you sketch.”

“I don’t want to bore you.”

“You won’t bore me. If something interests you, I’d like to be part of it.”

“Okay.” Kyle picked through the saddlebag, pulling out his pencils. The sun filtered through the trees, a couple of squirrels chased each other up and down a tree. It was so peaceful and beautiful and serene… he wished he could bottle this moment up and pull it out when life got to be too much. Sam rested against him, silently watching him sketch out a landscape of the farm, as seen from the north ridge.

“You really have an eye for this. You’re doing all this from memory?”

Kyle cocked his head. “I have a good imagination I guess.”

“I have a feeling you’re going to be famous, like that Kinkade dude. I’ll be able to brag that I knew you when.”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll be happy to just make a decent living doing this. There’s a reason we’re called ‘starving artists’.”

“Well, if I know Mom, you won’t starve. She’ll send you care packages. I swear, I was getting one a week the first month I was away. I took a picture of the cafeteria to prove to her that I had access to food.”

“She doesn’t have to do that. I… I’m not family or anything. I am just a kid they took on for the summer.”

Sam gently took Kyle’s sketchpad from him, turning so he was facing Kyle. He leaned into Kyle for a kiss. “You have no clue how you’ve affected my parents. Even after the summer is over, they want you to be part of our little family. They’ve become attached to you, and I hope you’ve become attached to them.”

Kyle looked away. “I… I have.”

“Good. So expect some care packages. You don’t want to upset Mom, do you?”

“Sam?”

“Yeah?”

Kyle looked Sam in the eye. “What about us?”

“What do you mean?”

“At the end of the summer. You go back to State, I go back to New York. I… I don’t mind being a ‘summer fling’ or whatever you call it. I don’t. You have helped me deal with a lot and I… thanks I guess.”

Sam moved to sit beside Kyle, his arm going around him. “Albany is only about three hours from New York, I could come visit.”

“Between you having to come home once a month, and you know, wanting a social life…. Look, I want to be realistic.”

“Why don’t we leave the end of the summer to the end of the summer? There’s no need to worry about the future that far out. Let’s just enjoy the here and now, okay?”

Kyle nodded. He sat back, watching an eagle fly across the blue sky. His thoughts turned back to the farm. “You know, I have wondered, what does Walt do when you’re not here?”

“Well, the fall and winter seasons are pretty slow, he normally does the cows and repairs himself. Come spring, I try to come home a little more often to help with the planting, and if he really needs help, he can hire some day workers.”

“What’s going to happen when you finish college?”

“I’ll still come home as much as I can. It’s not that I don’t like farming, it’s just not what I want to do.”

“But… what will happen to the farm?”

“I hope Pops can sell it to another independent dairy farmer to keep it going. I’d hate for it to be sold to a large corporation. But that’s a couple of decades away, lots of time to discuss options. I think Mom would love to retire someplace warmer.”

“Warmer would be nice. I hate the winters here.”

“But they do make pretty landscapes, right?”

“I guess. I’ve spent all my winters in the city; it does look nice in Central Park when it snows.”

“You go to the park a lot?”

“When I can. Good place to sketch.”

“I can visit, right?”

Kyle lifted an eyebrow. “You really want to?”

“Well, sure. Even if we… are just friends. Friends can hang out, go to the park. I’d love to see your city; I’ve shown you the country, only fair, right?”

Kyle thought he heard a faint instance of pain in Sam’s voice, but he ignored it. “Sure. I can take you to Central Park. If you visit.” The wind started to pick up, the air cooling.