Last Song (Chasing Cross Book Five) (A Brothers of Rock Novel) (rockstar contemporary romance) (10 page)

She couldn’t.

Rick reached for the bar
and grabbed a drink. He lifted it in the air, staring at Sarah.

“To great nights and true
friends,” he called out. Then he smiled. “And neighbors.”

Sarah turned and found
herself on the brink of crying.

Why?

That bothered her even
more. Why the hell was a man like Rick getting to her? Sarah told herself the
next time she heard noise at Rick’s house she was calling the police. If Rick
wanted to get drunk and loud he could go back to wherever he came from. Back to
his lifestyle of partying and not caring.

Sarah looked for Susie
but couldn’t find her. She began to panic and lunged at the bar, asking the
bartender if he’d seen her. The bartender smiled and pointed to the women’s
bathroom.

“Shit,” Sarah whispered
and hurried towards the door.

She opened the door and
heard the sound of Susie getting sick bouncing off the tiles. Sarah found her
best friend hunched over a toilet in the middle stall.

Sarah touched Susie’s
back and said, “It’s just me. Are you okay?”

“Just fine,” Susie
managed to say. “There goes thirty bucks worth of drinks.”

“Don’t feel bad,” Sarah
said, “I feel like I could puke too and I haven’t had a drink in hours.”

Susie took heavy breaths
and stood back. Sarah helped her from the stall to the sink and cleaned her up
the best she could.

“I have to go home,”
Susie said as her eyes filled with tears.

Sarah smiled. She loved
Susie so much but she had to laugh when Susie got this drunk. She always cried.
She’d throw up and then cry, regretting drinking and every decision in her
life. That meant the entire ride to Susie’s house she’d talk about all the good
things she wanted to do in life and how she’s going to change everything.

“Okay, let’s get you
home,” Sarah said.

At the bathroom door,
Susie put her hand out and held it shut.

“Hey... what happened
with Rick?”

“He’s busy,” Sarah said.
“Band stuff.”

“He’s kind of sexy,
right? I mean... in a scruffy way.”

“Yeah, he’s something,”
Sarah said.

Susie cried again and
Sarah felt like doing the same.

(11)

It seemed that when Rick
stood at the edge of life he just simply fell. Whether he meant to fall or not
didn’t matter because the ending result was always the same. He knew things had
gotten a little out of control after the show, but that was the life. That was
the purpose of the show. When Sarah left, he saw her helping her friend Susie. She
was just being a good friend.

Sarah hadn’t talked to
Rick since that night, and somehow it was almost a week later. It could have
been the fast days with good drinks and more practicing with the band. They did
have another show tomorrow night and according to Nick, they could play every
Friday if they wanted. The band had attracted a decent crowd last Friday and it
was only going to get bigger. The bigger the crowd, the more the bar made. It
was something very different than Rick knew. With Chasing Cross, they were paid
to show up. They were paid for ticket sales and merchandise. It was up to the
arenas they played at to make money. Jokingly, Rick asked Nick if the band
would get paid for any of the shows. Nick laughed, punched his shoulder, and
told him they’d drink for free after the show.

The past week wasn’t as
fun to drink. Rick drank to hide whatever he felt for Sarah. Moving into the
house had one purpose - to have the old school dream of a garage band. He did
not expect to meet any neighbors, let alone one as pretty as Sarah. There was
an intriguing nature about her and it sucked him right in. It went beyond her
physical beauty. There was beauty that also hid on the inside. It suggested
loneliness or heartache, the kind of tragic beauty that Rick knew all too well.

Thursday’s practice was
cut short because of Friday’s show. They had worked on a couple new songs for
the hell of it, but they decided to keep their set list the same as the Friday
before. If there was one thing Rick knew, it was what fans wanted out of a band
and a show. Nick, Andy, Timmy, and Jackie knew that too, but their careers
never excelled as far as Rick’s did.

Once the band left, Rick
was left alone in the garage with a fridge full of beer and heart full of
nothing. His heart wasn’t empty, it was just a nothing kind of feeling. There
was big difference between the two... Rick had moved into the house with an
empty heart but this feeling of nothing was worse. Much worse.

He grabbed two beers in
each hand and carried them by their skinny necks into his house. His time away
from Chasing Cross gave him a chance to learn how to cook because ordering pizza
every night became old fast. When he opened the kitchen fridge and saw two
steaks in a package he thought of Sarah. Somewhere in the back of his mind he
thought maybe by now she would have come over for something to eat. Or he could
have taken her out.

Thinking of Sarah made
his body feel different. Thinking of Sarah meant thinking of that quick kiss
they shared last Friday. There were a few things Rick knew about that kiss.
First off, it wasn’t an alcohol induced kiss. They each barely had a drink when
it happened. Second off, the kiss happened after Rick opened up about Chasing
Cross. He showed that he wasn’t some kind of loser rockstar who got booted from
his band. That told Rick that Sarah had been thinking about him kissing her and
she just needed to make sure he was a decent guy.

A decent guy...

Rick shook his head.

He was a decent guy. As
long as he wasn’t drinking. Rick looked at the counter and saw the four beers
standing there, like the front line of an army ready to destroy more of his
heart and soul. He glanced at the clock and wondered if Sarah was home. He
wished to go back to that moment in the bar when he was opening up to her and
they kissed. A kiss like that, no matter how short, was worth stopping life for
to have again and again.

Rick closed the fridge
and opened one of the beers. He dropped the top on the counter and it bounced a
few times. Rick stared at the bottle before finally grabbing it and drinking.
The smooth beer went down obviously much easier than the heavier stuff. With
half the bottle gone, he put it back on the counter and took a deep breath.
There was a satisfying feeling about the taste, what it could do, and what it
all meant. It made him think of the earliest days of Chasing Cross, when they
all had moved to California to become big rockstars. They slept in garages and in
cars. They snuck beer and booze, because they weren’t old enough to buy it yet.
They wrote, played any shows they could, and of the big stage.

Then Rick remembered
something.

Something... outside.

He smiled, grabbed his
beer, and went to the front door.

Once on the porch, Rick
put the beer on the thick railing and looked around. There were little touch up
things to do to the house, if he wanted to. He could string up some lights to
give the porch somewhere to sit at night. Maybe some paint. Maybe some
furniture on the porch.

In reality, it was
anything to keep his mind working and keep time moving.

Come on... come on...

He kept thinking but his
eyes kept watching. Then there she was, coming from the side street, turning
with Molly on a leash. Rick side stepped to stay hidden. He couldn’t help but
just stare at her. He memorized the way her face looked, and how her body moved
when she walked. Everything about Sarah was just...

Rick went to the steps
and jumped from all three.

“Sarah...”

Sarah stopped and looked
at Rick. Molly began to wag her tail, her big mouth smiling, wanting to come to
Rick.

“Listen... I’m not
sure...”

“I’m kind of busy right
now,” Sarah said. “I have to take Molly for a walk and then I have plans.”

“What kind of plans?”

Rick regretted asking the
question. It wasn’t his business, at all.

“I didn’t mean that,”
Rick said. “I just... we haven’t talked since my show...”

“I’ve been busy. I work
all week.”

“I just haven’t seen you out
and around. Everything okay?”

Rick slowly took steps as
he spoke. He wanted to get close enough to smell her, touch her,
taste her
.

“Rick, I don’t want to
give anyone the wrong idea,” Sarah said. “Okay?”

“The wrong idea? What
does that mean?”

“What happened last
week... that’s not me...”

Rick smiled. He was close
enough to touch Sarah but instead offered his hand to Molly.

“I’d never judge you
because of that,” Rick said. “I wanted that too.”

“That’s the thing,” Sarah
said. “You wanted it... I was just... in the moment...”

Rick felt the nothing in
his heart swell. It hurt, and that was the difference between feeling empty and
feeling nothing. Empty was empty. But nothing could keep going... and it really
hurt.

**

Sarah had avoided Rick
the best she could. It helped that Linda needed to tend a family emergency in
Arizona. Sarah had to cover all the hours at the office. Linda’s stepmother had
fallen and broken her hip. It seemed worse than originally thought. When Linda
called Sarah from Arizona with the good news that her stepmother would be fine,
Sarah told Linda to take all the time she needed. She mentioned the word
days
but in her mind
she thought
weeks
,
maybe even months
.

The last thing she needed
was to get involved with Rick. Or see him. Or talk to him. That was harder to
accomplish, considering he was her neighbor. Sarah took Molly to work with her
all week just so the poor dog wouldn’t have to spend days and nights alone in
the house. Molly enjoyed the office and was the center of attention. She got
along with any other animals but that wasn’t to say other animals got along
with her. More than once did the quick strick from a kitten sending Molly
running back to Sarah’s office in retreat.

Thursday had been an
especially easy day. There were only a handful of appointments, no surgeries,
and no emergencies. Sarah decided to close up early, send everyone home - with
a full day’s pay - and do the same herself. She needed a night home and alone.
She was sure she could find some kind of guilty pleasure to indulge in on TV.
There was enough terrible reality shows on now that it was easy to find one to
get hooked on.

Once home, Molly took a
lap or two around the house, excited to be home with the sun still shining. She
drank water, ate food, and then looked at Sarah with sad eyes. Sarah knew the
look and wanted to avoid it if at all possible.

Molly wanted to go for a
walk. And rightfully so. It had been days since Molly had a nice walk around
the neighborhood. To Sarah it didn’t mean that much but she knew for a dog -
especially her dog - it was a crisis. All those lawns to sniff. The bugs to
chase. The cars to stare at. Kids to bark at, wanting to play.
Plus, she probably wanted to see
Rick...

“We’re not going that
way,” Sarah said as she hooked Molly on the leash. “No way.”

Molly just stared.

The walked started out
like normal but as a creature of habit, Molly turned at the corner, wanting to
go down back towards the alley. Up until a few weeks ago, Molly always walked
straight. Thanks to Sarah and her urge to see Rick, Molly was now used to going
down the alley. She pulled and Sarah followed, knowing she could take control
of the dog if she wanted.

Sarah made Molly stop at
the alley. She looked down, knowing exactly which garage was hers and which one
was Rick’s.

The doors were shut.

There were no cars.

“Just the alley,” Sarah
said. “Okay?”

Molly barked and started
to walk again. Sarah kept a fast pace walk, almost going into a slow jog. The
sooner they got down and out of the alley, the better. At Rick’s garage she
looked but nothing happened. No sound. No movement. The door didn’t suddenly
fly open and scare her. At the end of the alley, Sarah came to a stop again and
this time she felt let down. Part of her wanted Rick to jump out at her. She
wanted him to explain what the hell he had been trying to prove last week after
his show. Sarah could handle a lot but she wouldn’t be a groupie and she
wouldn’t mess around with a drunk. No way. Not after everything that had happened
to her...

Sarah had no intentions
of walking along the back alley of town, and going left meant going towards the
commercial area. So, fine, she had to walk along the sidewalk to the corner of
Rick’s house. It was public property. She could get to the corner, cross, go up
a block and then make her way around and back towards her house. It would be a
new path to walk with Molly. It would give Molly something different to see.

It was going fine until
Sarah made it to the corner and Molly cut to the right. In a matter of a few
minutes Sarah saw Rick, heard his voice, and was talking to him. Talking to him
about their kiss.

Of all things.

Just seeing Rick brought
the entire night back. His hands had moved so gently and with care. He had
hesitated to kiss her, like it meant something to him.

Even when Rick questioned
her plans, an obvious hint at jealousy, Sarah couldn’t walk away. Then Rick
touched Molly, knowing the way to get to Sarah. Then Sarah told one of the
biggest lies she could have told. She said she was just
in the moment
when Rick
kissed her.

Yeah, right.

She saw the hurt flash on
Rick’s face and, for a second, she enjoyed it. She wanted him to feel that
terrible feeling. Because Sarah felt it watching Rick drink like he did last Friday.
Then he came at her and made it seem like they were together and that one
little kiss opened the door to anything Rick wanted from her.

“I have a show tomorrow,”
Rick said. “Same place. We can play there every Friday actually.”

“I’m busy,” Sarah said.

She hated to sound so
bitchy, but it kind of felt good. Rick could take it. He had to take it,
because she was the one that wanted to talk to her. He was the one who messed
things up last week.

“I didn’t ask you to
come,” Rick said.

“Good thing. I can’t.”

“Because you have plans,”
Rick said. “I heard you.”

Rick took his hand from
Molly and started to retreat. Sarah felt a sense of panic hit her. She wanted
to mess with Rick for her own pleasure, but she didn’t want to chase him away.

“I’m working long hours
this week,” Sarah called out. “The other vet had to go to Arizona. Family
emergency.”

Rick smiled.

Sarah sighed.

She was sucked in. In way
too far already.

“I see,” Rick said.
“Well, there will always be next Friday I guess.”

Sarah opened her mouth
and that’s when she saw the bottle of beer balanced on the railing of the
porch.

Rick looked behind him
then back to Sarah. “A drink?”

“You know there’s a
difference between a drink and drinking everyday.”

Rick’s face tightened. It
was obvious he didn’t like to be accused or called out on anything.

“A beer after band
practice never killed anyone,” Rick said.

“A beer won’t,” Sarah
said. “How many are you planning on having?”

Rick moved towards her
again. “You know, I kind of like when you open up to me like this. Why not tell
me something? I shared what happened with Chasing Cross with you last week.”

It was right then Sarah
knew the best thing to do would be to walk away. To take Molly and finish the
walk. But she couldn’t. Walking away meant leaving things left to be said. It
almost meant Sarah feeling weak and pushed away.

“You want to know
something?” she asked.

Rick touched Molly’s head
again. Molly closed her eyes, mouth open, tongue wagging, completely oblivious.

“Are you actually
questioning me?” Rick asked.