Lauraine Snelling (9 page)

Gil found his mind full of questions and doubt. How would he find a horse that Eddie could handle? Buy the one he was riding? Would Carly be willing to help him find a horse and then train it for them? She’d said she would help find one, but she’d not mentioned training it. And bottom line, who would take care of the horse? Where would he find another gem like Maria?

“Thanks, Dad.” But the exuberance had fled, leaving a pensive little boy behind.

Gil’s cell phone rang twice on the way home, one of the numbers on the screen unknown to him, but he stayed by his rule to never talk on the phone with his son in the car, even though his curiosity plagued him.

He let down the ramp and followed his son into the house, returning the calls as he strolled. The first message was Amy with some last-minute questions on a client. He called her back, and then listened to the next message. The voice froze him at the first word.

EIGHT

D
o I get to do the horse whisperer thing today?” Kool Kat stopped beside Maggie, looking at Mr. James for permission several days later.

“Some call it natural horsemanship, others call it horse whispering, some call it understanding horses or ground training.” A smile moved from his lips to his eyes. “Are you sure you want to do this? After all, you’re the one who called them giants.”

“Did I say that?” She glanced at Maggie.

“Don’t ask me. I have enough trouble keeping track of what I say.”

“Shoun’t be hard, you hardly ever say anything.”

Maggie felt her eyebrows go up. She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. “That was a good one.”

Kool Kat turned to go, but nailed Maggie with one slitted eye. “You almost laughed on that one.”

“Bring your horse to the pen in half an hour,” Mr. James said.

Kool Kat gave a shuffle leap. “Yes!”

“I never would have dreamed this of her.” Maggie sighed after the woman moved away.

“As I said in the beginning, working with horses reveals who we are. No matter how hard we try to hide it.”

Maggie turned back to begin cleaning Breaking Free’s stall. Was he aiming that last comment at her?

She’d just dumped the final wheelbarrow of clean shavings in the stall when Kool Kat called, “You comin’?”

“I wasn’t planning on it.” She paused, caught by surprise. “You want me to?”

“Why you think I’m asking?”

Maggie leaned the wheelbarrow against the outside wall and unclipped Breaking Free.
She wants you to come, don’t make her beg.
The horse might as well have been talking to her, the voice was so near. “I’ll be right there.” Giving her horse a pat on the neck, she unbuckled the halter and let it slide back over her arm. “Okay, fella, you’re free. Now don’t give me any flack when I come to get you again, all right?”

She rubbed his nose one last time and headed out of the stall, carefully latching the stall door behind her. She heard him follow her and turned to see his head hanging over the lower half of the door, ears pricked forward, watching her every move.

Her heart, so long merely a circulatory pump for her body, felt like it might burst with the thrill of it all.

Kool Kat had just led her horse into the round pen when she arrived. All the women were lined up, leaning on the top rail. Maggie shut the gate behind the horse and joined JJ and the others. DC was nowhere to be seen, which made Maggie want to keep watch over her shoulder.

“Now remember,” Mr. James spoke loud enough for them all to hear. “This is about watching for the horse to tell you what he is feeling and thinking. So look for the signs we’ve talked about.” He turned his attention to Kool Kat. “Okay, unsnap the lead and let him loose.”

She did as Mr. James instructed. Halfway to the fence, the horse’s head went down and his back feet shot for the sky, bucking and kicking. When he came to a stop after tearing around the perimeter, he stood with his rear toward the center of the pen. Maggie smothered a snort.

Kool Kat put her hands on her ample hips. “That horse be flipping me off.”

“That’s one way of describing it. So what do you do?”

Kool Kat flipped the rope end of the lead shank and the horse took off running. When he slowed to a trot she flicked it again. He kept his head faced to the outside, not looking at her.

“I’m gettin’ dizzy.”

“Okay, keep your eye on him but walk in a bigger circle.” For the next half hour, Mr. James led Kool Kat through the steps. “Keep your arms out, good, keep him moving. See, now he’s looking at you.” Soon, Mr. James issued the big statement. “Turn around and walk away.”

Maggie wanted Kool Kat to feel what she’d felt that day Breaking Free had followed her. Would the big woman’s horse oblige?

Sure enough, the horse, head hanging nice and easy, followed her across the pen.

Maggie watched Kool Kat’s face go from face-splitting grin to a tear leaking down one cheek. The outside of a horse was truly good for the inside of a man—or woman.

Even the sight of DC ambling around the pen failed to dim Maggie’s joy.

“All right, turn and pet him.” Mr. James glanced around at the spectators. “Class in five. Bring your pencils.”

“Hey, Mr. James, we all get to do this?” It was JJ.

“Those who want to. It’s not required.”

“I ain’t gonna do that. My luck, the horse would run right over me,” Brandy muttered as she walked away.

When they’d gathered for class, Mr. James handed out sheets of paper and, amid groans, asked them to write down their observations. A few moments later as they shared their answers, Maggie found herself nodding. If only she had known this stuff as a kid working with horses, she could have handled some problem animals differently. Think like the horse. Incredible.

As they finished their discussion, a low voice muttered, “If school had been like this, maybe I’d a stayed in.”

DC. Her comment caught Maggie by surprise. School wasn’t the only answer, but without some kind of an education or training, most of these girls would be back here. Maggie had heard the stats—they weren’t good. But for her, once she was out, she’d not be back. Never touching liquor again seemed a small price to pay for freedom. She wasn’t an alcoholic, but driving under the influence of alcohol had sent her to prison.

She jerked her mind back to the moment. Why was not looking back getting harder? By now it should be easy.

“Mistah James, can I aks a personal question?” Kool Kat rocked her chair back on two legs.

“If I can retain the right not to answer.” He nodded. “Go for it.”

“Did you learn about horses this way, I mean like the ground training you teachin’ us?”

Tossing the dry erase marker up and down, Mr. James leaned against the board and didn’t answer for a moment. He seemed a long way away. “No, I’m sorry to say I didn’t, but my father always handled horses gently, giving them the respect they deserve. He would have approved of this kind of training. I’ve been just as awed by it as all of you have.”

Kool Kat and the others nodded. She thanked him and got a glint in her eye. “You married?”

“I stand on my right to remain silent.” At his grin, they all burst out laughing.

He shuffled his papers into order as he continued, “Well done, all of you. Tomorrow we have two more horses coming in. That will bring us up to fifteen. Kool Kat, would you please set up the sprinklers in that west pasture? Brandy, you go along to help her. We have an hour until we leave. Any questions?”

“Who gets the new horses?” DC asked, shooting a dark glance at Maggie, whose insides flip-flopped. Kool Kat growled under her breath.

“I haven’t decided yet. I want to know more about them first.”

As the women filed out, Mr. James stopped Maggie. “Let’s start working with Freebee on accepting a man in his life.”

“That’s what got most of us in trouble in de first place.” Kool Kat tossed over her shoulder as she left the room.

Mr. James choked back a laugh. Kool Kat did it again.

That night the Bible study group met with Mrs. Worth, who’d been leading the group since long before Maggie was transferred to Los Lomas. Maggie slipped into the room during the opening prayer and waited to take a seat until the amen was said. She’d almost not come, but she had given her word to the petite woman who personified the love and forgiveness she taught. All through the study Maggie debated about asking the favor. She hated to ask for favors of any kind because in prison, favors cost you. And how she would pay this one back, she didn’t know.

“You seemed distracted tonight,” Mrs. Worth said softly after she excused the group and most of them shuffled out of the room.

Maggie nodded. Might as well get it out. “I have a favor to ask.”

“Anything.”

“You can’t say that, you don’t know what it is.”

“Sure I can because anything that is in my power to do for you, I will.” Her smile always made Maggie feel warmer.

“I-I need you to write me a letter of recommendation if you will, to give to the parole board.”

“Of course. When do you need it by?”

“Whenever you can. I have another two and a half months before the hearing.”

“I’ll have it for you next week. I’ll bring you a copy and make sure the original gets to the right hands.”

“Thank you.”

“Do you know what you’re going to do when you get out?”

Maggie shook her head. “Get a job first thing. I’d like to work in a stable, something with horses.”

“Racing?”

“No, a breeding farm or even a dude ranch. Maybe a place like I worked when I was a teenager.” She’d not realized that was her dream until she said it. Could she make enough to live on?

“I’ll ask around. Have you talked with Mr. James about the places he knows?”

She hadn’t thought of that. “No.”

“They’ll be more likely to grant your parole if you have a job to go to.”

“I’ll talk to him. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Anything else?”

“Um . . .” Say it! “Ah, could you pray for me tomorrow?”

“Of course, why?”

“It’s my son’s birthday.”

“I didn’t know you had a boy.” The older woman’s face softened into a smile.

“I don’t . . . anymore.” Maggie blinked several times and headed for the door.

NINE

T
he custody agreement said she was never to call or try to make contact.

Gil stared at the phone in his hand, the urge to fling it across a canyon so strong he had to unclench his fingers. Why did Sandra want him to call back? The question nagged until he stuffed the offending messenger in his pocket and strode up the walk. What did she want now, that was the real question? All he had to do was call his attorney and let him deal with it. But right now he had to put on his best acting face so his son wouldn’t sense that something was wrong. Eddie had radar the government would envy when it came to his father.

“Maria!”

A crash sounded in the kitchen, and the woman streaked through the doorway. “Eddie? Is Eddie okay? What is wrong?”

Realizing his tone had again become clipped and taut, Gil forced himself to smile. “Sorry, Maria. Eddie is fine, but I don’t want him answering the phone until I say it’s okay.”

She stared at him, concern wrinkling her broad forehead. “Sí.”

“I’ll tell you more later.” He paused to watch Eddie outside playing with Bonnie. Teaching Bonnie to fetch had been fairly easy since she was already trained to pick things up for him. He threw the nylon bone that helped keep her teeth clean, and with ears flapping, she ran to get it. Bringing it back, she laid it in his hand and backed up to watch him throw it again. This time when she brought it back, she raced around his chair, once, twice, and then panting, gave him the bone.

Knowing Eddie would be occupied at least as long as Gil hoped the phone call to the attorney would take, he crossed to his office with long strides and had Ben Bowers on the phone in seconds. “Why do you suppose she’s calling now? It’s against the custody agreement, and she knows she loses big time.”

“I don’t know, but you can bet I’m going to find out.”

“How will you locate her?”

“Didn’t you see a phone number on your cell?”

“Unidentified caller.”

“Then she’ll call again.”

Gil’s tone sounded cold to his own ears. “Find her first and make sure she doesn’t. I don’t want Eddie learning about her this way.”

“Then you’d better tell him.” Ben never had been one to mince words.

Gil leaned back in his leather office chair, placing his stocking feet on the top of his desk. “I’ve never lied to him, but he’s never asked many questions.” He rubbed the top of his forehead where he used to have a widow’s peak.

“He’s getting older. He’ll be, what—eleven next month?”

“Yes, in August. And she’s not seen him since he was a year old; she left him in the crib at the hospital all alone for God’s sake.” The old rage slammed his feet back on the plastic mat that protected the carpet from the rollers of the chair.

“I know, I know. Leave it to me.”

Gil had no doubt. His attorney had the well-earned reputation of being pit-bull tough. “Don’t let me down.” He set the phone back on the charger.
Don’t underestimate her
, he ordered himself.
But what if she has changed? Yeah, like zebras change their stripes
. Sometimes he wondered how he had ever thought he loved her. She had been a looker, that was for sure. Sometimes he saw her in Eddie’s dancing eyes or the way he smiled. What if Ben Bowers failed him and she found a way to get to Eddie? Gil’s jaw tightened. He would do anything to protect his son.

The need to tell Eddie what he needed to know burned like a torch in his heart. But instead of Eddie, his only response was to call for Maria and ask how long until dinner. Some things could not be done on an empty stomach. Which he well knew was an excuse, he who told people to be honest with themselves and just get the hard stuff done. Sometimes he didn’t like himself too much. Some would say that was an ordinary part of being human. Not a very palatable response.

TEN

D
ear God, just get me through this day.”

Why was today so much worse than this same day a year ago or the year before that or . . . ? Granted the first year, the whole year, after her baby died, was pure hell. Guilt was an exhausting bedfellow, one who dogged her day and night. But she’d gotten through that. Along with other years. Just get through. But today crushed her so heavily, she couldn’t force herself to get out of bed. If she wasn’t in the head count line, they would come and get her, and she’d get demerits.