Laurie's Time (The Fairfield Series) (10 page)

Rob looked over at the gorgeous woman looking expectantly at him.
When was the last time a woman wanted to sit and talk to me? When was the last time one actually asked me about me?
Feeling as though he was entering uncharted territories, he found that talking to Laurie was as natural as breathing.

Relaxing, he leaned back and answered. “My dad was the most influential person in my life. I grew up seein’ him go off every day in his fireman’s uniform. One day, we were out at a store, and a man came runnin’ up to him carrying a little boy. The man shook my dad’s hand, thankin’ him over and over for savin’ his child’s life. Other people were gathering around,” he chuckled at the memory. “At first I was embarrassed. But then I realized that my dad had rescued that man’s son in a fire. That was when I realized that my dad didn’t just have a job. He was a hero. I always knew he had been
my
hero. But that day, I realized he was a hero to others.”

Rob sat quietly, for a moment then looked back into Laurie’s grey eyes. “That was the day I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up…. I wanted to be my dad.”

Fighting the sting in her eyes of unshed tears, she looked at the man in front of her and saw the little boy, proudly worshiping his father. Leaning over to touch his hand, she said, “Rob, you did it. You became your dad. You became a hero.”

He jerked his hand out from under hers angrily. “My dad? I’m nothin’ like my dad! He’s honorable, lives his life for others – Mom, me and my sister Suzy, the people he saves, his men.” Shaking his head in disgust, he continued, “I’ve been a selfish prick. Went to college on a football scholarship, bein’ the big man on campus, livin’ the life. And I’ve spent the past ten years continuin’ that all-about-me-lifestyle.” The room was blanketed in silence, neither knowing what to say.

He reached back out to take her discarded hand, locking his fingers through hers. “But bein’ around you makes me want to be a better man. Makes me want to be more like my dad. Makes me feel like I can be somethin’ other than what I’ve become. And if that is just friends, then so be it. But babe, gotta put it out there, I’m hopin’ to become worthy to see if we’ve got more.”

His eyes bore straight into hers, Laurie feeling their power straight to her soul. Reminding herself to breath, she felt a pull forward as though they were magnets unable to stay separated. They both leaned forward, stopping only when their lips were barely touching. Rob stopped, allowing Laurie to be in control.

She closed her eyes, feeling his breath wash over her face. Leaning in, she softly touched her lips to his. The kiss was gentle, full of emotion, full of grace. Pulling back, she looked at his handsome face, such a combination of remorse and hope. “Rob,” she spoke on a whisper. “I think you are more like your dad than you realize. You have the best of him in you. It’s just taken you a little while to realize it.”

He moved in quickly, capturing her lips in a soul-searing kiss, moving his lips over hers in a timeless dance. Her lips were soft and pliable. He ran his tongue over her lips, and as she opened her mouth, his tongue slid in. Forcing himself to hold back, he slowly followed the contours of her mouth, discovering, exploring, memorizing. He could feel her hesitation at first before her tongue began its own journey.
I want this to be the last mouth I ever kiss.
Rob had never been so moved by just a kiss. For him, kissing was the necessary action to get a girl ready for sex, not the part that made him ache and long to just continue the kiss.

He pulled back, causing confusion to war with passion in her eyes. Rob knew that she was not ready for anything more, and for the first time, he was willing to stop at just a kiss, although he was having a hard time convincing his swollen dick of that. He gently placed his hands on her shoulders, pushing her back just a little.

“We’re gonna take this slow, Laurie. I wanna get to know you, and you have just found out a hellava lot about me that I’ve never told anyone. This,” he said pointing back and for between then, “is going to happen, but at your pace.”

Laurie looked into his eyes, seeing not only sincerity but vulnerability, and nodded thoughtfully.
He just shared his most inner thoughts with me.
Wanting to give something back, she blurted out, “I don’t know who my father is.”

He jerked back, surprise and confusion crossing his face. “What?” he asked, not understanding what she was trying to tell him.

She blushed and looked down at her hands. “Well….you shared with me….something that you haven’t shared with anyone else. I just…thought…um…that I would share back. You know,…something that…um…no one else knows.” Suddenly feeling exposed, she tried to jump up off the couch wanting to get away before he saw tears fall.

Rob, stunned by her admission and touched by her generosity, grabbed her around the waist and pulled her onto his lap. “Oh no, baby, you shared and I want you to share more. But face to face. Not running away.” He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in tight against his chest. For the first time he realized that he was thinking with his head and feeling with his heart… not his dick. And the warm feeling that penetrated deep inside was welcome. He could feel her stiff body begin to relax as he rubbed her back gently.

“So tell me, baby. Tell me what you meant,” he prodded.

“It’s silly, really. I don’t even know why I suddenly felt like crying because I’ve never cried about it before. It simply is what it is.” She let out a huge sigh. “I mean, I can’t miss what I never had, right?”

Rob, not understanding, turned her body around so that she was facing him, straddling him with her legs on either side. He wanted her close but wanted to look into her eyes as she was struggling to reveal something.

“What have you never had, baby?”

“A father. I mean, my grandfather was basically my dad, but I always knew that he wasn’t really.” She sighed again, looking up in to his eyes. “I’m probably not making much sense, am I?” Not waiting for an answer, she quickly added, “Never mind, it isn’t important. We can talk about something else.” She started to move off his lap, nervous at the closeness.

“Laurie, you startin’ to share means the world to me. That tells me you don’t think of me as some colossal fuck up. So don’t stop now. Keep sharin’. What’s goin’ on behind those stormy grey eyes of yours?”

“It’s just that as you were talking about your dad, how great he is, how you always looked up to him, how you wanted to be like him, how he was such an influence on your life. Don’t you see, Rob? Even though you felt like you didn’t measure up, at least you had that. You had that influence. You had that measuring stick. You had that love.” Laurie paused, taking a big breath then shrugged slightly. “I never had that. I never had a father.”

Rob sat perfectly still except for continually rubbing soft circles on her back as she continued her story.

“My mom was only sixteen years old when she got pregnant with me. When I was growing up, she used to tell me that they met, fell in love, and before he went away he left her with a wonderful present – me.” Her lips curved up in a tiny smile at the memory. “When I was eighteen, my Aunt Emma gave me a box that she had found among Mom’s possessions that had a note saying it was for me on my eighteenth birthday. Even though Mom had no idea she wouldn’t be around to give it to me herself, it was so important that she set aside just in case something happened.”

He found himself holding his breath, waiting to hear what was in the box. He fought the desire to tighten his grip on her hips, continuing instead to slowly rub her gently.

“It was a T-shirt,” she stated plainly. His eyes narrowed in confusion, encouraging her to continue. “It was my father’s T-shirt. It appears that he was a soldier on leave, and while she fell head over heels in love, she was only a fling to him.” She sat, letting her words sink in. “So…I am the product of a man’s one-night stand… a fling… a convenient fuck.”

Her words poured over Rob with the effect of a bucket of ice cold water.
That’s why she hated what I was. She looked at me and saw her father. Fuck! Fuck him for walking away, and fuck me for living that life.
He let go of her hips, allowing her to slide from his lap. He stood up and paced the room, furiously rubbing his hand through his hair.

Laurie watched him, her chest feeling squeezed as though in a vice.
He is ashamed of me. Of who I am. Of who I come from
. The stinging of unshed tears in her eyes made her angry. She never cried over not having a father, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to start now. Jumping off the couch, she walked purposefully toward the front door, pulling it open. “Thank you for dinner, Rob, but it’s late,” she said with her head held high while motioning towards the open door.

He looked over, seeing she was pissed and knowing his reaction was not what she needed. Stalking over to her, he leaned his much taller frame around her, and slammed the door shut.

Indignant, she looked up into his face. “Look, Rob, I have spent my whole life not having a father in my life. And guess what? That is fine! I was raised by a phenomenal mother, grandparents, and then my aunt.” Her chest heaved with emotion and the tears that she had held back began to slide down her cheeks. “Maybe my being a bastard to a man who never hung around long enough to see an obligation or to be born to a teen mom is something that you can’t handle in a friend, but that is who I am.” She dashed the tears off her face as she unashamedly looked directly into his eyes. “And if you can’t accept that or me, then screw you!”

He pressed his fingers on her lips, effectively shushing her. “Laurie, you got me all wrong. You shared, and I took it in. Babe, I’m not ashamed of you. I’m awed by you.”

Her eyes registered doubt at his words and yet her traitorous body noticed how it felt to have his fingers on her lips. She fought the urge to pull his fingers into her mouth.

He hung his head, breaking eye contact as he admitted, “Honey, it’s just that I am ashamed of me. Don’t you see, even though I promise you that I have never fathered a child, I was like your dad. Your words hit hard. I know they weren’t directed at me, but I felt them.”

At that, he leaned his body down, removed his fingers, and replaced them with his mouth. As his lips touched hers, she thawed. He felt the tension drain from her body as he moved closer. Reaching down, he lifted her up in his arms, his lips never leaving hers. The kiss was filled with longing, promise, hope. His arms wrapped around her securely, and he felt her grasp his biceps.
Please
let me take care of you. Please feel this.

Laurie, drowning in the feelings of his lips on hers, felt the anger drain away, replaced by desire, longing. His kiss was so gentle, and her breasts felt heavy and her nipples hardened as they were pressed against his chest. He moved his muscular thigh upwards between her legs, and she felt the pressure against her pussy. The tingling deep in her core seemed to connect her lips, her breasts, and her swollen clit. She heard moaning and was surprised to realize that it was coming from her.

Rob slid his hand upwards from her hip to the bottom of her breast. She was beginning to squirm on his thigh, trying to ease the building ache. He pulled his lips away from hers, and she mourned the loss. He gently lowered her feet to the floor, slowly separating their bodies. She looked up at his face, questioningly.

He leaned over and touched his forehead to hers, breathing her in. “Laurie, I want to stay. I want to take you back to your room and make love to you.”

At that, her eyes opened wide. He smiled down into her beautiful face.

“Yeah, I know what I said. Make love. Not screw. Not fuck.” He paused to let those words sink in. “I’m ready, but know you’re not.” He took her hand and led her back to the sofa where he pulled her down next to him. “We’ve covered a lot of territory tonight,” he said in awe, realizing he had never divulged so much to any woman before.

Smiling back at him, she nodded. “Yeah, we went to dinner as friends just getting acquainted and somehow ended up telling our deepest secrets.” Laurie reached out and laid her hand on his. They both looked down at their hands together. Hers… small, white, dainty. His… large, tan, rough. Clasped together, harmonious.

“Rob, tell me what you are thinking,” she begged. “I need to know what’s in your mind. I don’t want to have to guess what you’re thinking.”

He nodding, agreed. “Let’s make a pact right now. Honesty. I’m not gonna lie to you, baby. Ever. No secrets.”

Smiling the smile that took his breath away, she entwined her fingers through his.

“I was telling you the truth earlier, Laurie. Never met a woman I wanted to get to know until you. I want you in my life. If we can only be friends, then I’ll take that. But I want more, and I’m gonna work at us being more. But I know I’m not worthy of you yet. Gonna work on that, babe. You make me want to be a better man. A man like my dad.”

Rob, standing and pulling her up from the sofa, kissed her goodnight then walked to the door. Glancing back over his shoulder, he called out, “I’ll see you tomorrow, babe. Lock up.”

Laurie shut, locked, and leaned against the door, smiling to herself. She couldn’t decide if she was exhausted or elated. Heading to bed, she realized it was both. It was time to call Emma.

“M
iss Dodd, how can you tell if a boy likes you?” little Josie asked. Laurie looked down at the red-haired pixie, smiling as they were walking out to the playground.

“Do you have a boy that you think likes you?” Laurie asked, bending down to be at Josie’s level.

“Well, Billy says I have freckles and says they look funny. But my mom says that means he likes me.” Josie wrinkled up her freckled nose, deep in thought. “But if he really likes me, he wouldn’t tease me, would he?”

Tossing her long braid over her shoulder, Laurie pondered how to answer her little charge. “Well, I know that sometimes when little boys like girls they do tease them because they haven’t learned how to say something sweet yet. Maybe you should just ask him.”