Law and Disorder (24 page)

Although I knew deep down Mrs. P. would give thumbs up to my plan, I wanted to clear it with her first. But she didn’t answer her phone. She didn’t answer her cell either. Perhaps she was having her daily visit to the Physical Terrorist as she called the excellent young man who was helping her get her groove back.

I checked with the nursing station to see if she could be tracked down. Surprisingly, someone answered and suggested that Violet must be outside on a Benson &Hedges break.

At that moment, my own cellphone rang and I snapped it open. “Yes.”

Joe Jeremiah said, “Heading out to my next appointment.”

“That’s great.”

“Thanks for the referral. I hope you and your friends are happy with the job I did.”

“I imagine they are.” I tried not to picture Bunny, Tonya and Destiny wedged in the back of the truck for the mystery trip with Joe who usually drove like the hounds of hell were after him. And for all we knew, they were.

I added, “Did you have any trouble getting into the place we discussed without being seen?”

“Are you kidding? I could get into 24 Sussex if I tried. Piece of cake.”

Maybe, as Elaine suggested, I was paranoid, but I wasn’t giving details out loud in my car. There was no way anyone could have known about Joe and his secret mission, but still. I wouldn’t put it past Brugel to arrange to have my car bugged. He wouldn’t be hampered by pesky legislation like the police would be. Anyway, everything about this case was so bizarre and creepy that I thought it better to be discreet.

Joe would have been buzzed in to the garage of Mrs. P.’s building by the super. He would have transported Bunny, Tonya and Destiny safely to her empty apartment. I imagined that Bunny and Tonya would be dressed as workers. Maybe Destiny would be undercover with his equipment. I was glad that the super had been willing to say yes to my request for the locked service elevator so that Mrs. P.’s carpets could be cleaned during her absence.

“Always glad to help Violet out,” the super had said. I knew the same wouldn’t apply to me.

Joe was still speaking. “I made sure none of those close-circuit security cameras caught their faces.”

“Thanks, again, Joe. I owe you.”

“You don’t owe me nothing. A father never forgets,” Joe said before ringing off.

I said to Alvin, who was chewing his nails. “The package has been delivered. Now we just have to take care of that other small matter.”

“What matter?”

I mouthed, “The dog.”

Alvin gazed at me more blankly than usual.

I mouthed “In the joke.” Alvin continued to looked unutterably baffled. Before I could clarify, my cellphone rang again. With luck it would be Bunny telling me his family was enjoying a comfortable stay in Mrs. P.s place. I hoped she hadn’t cut back on her extended cable package. But of course, it wasn’t Bunny. He’d hardly have been settled in.

“Ray!” I said. “How um…”

“Right, it’s definitely um.”

“Cute. Even at a distance.”

“That’s me. My kids are cute too. Or they used to be, anyway. I’m just checking to see that’s still true.”

Oh, right. The girls. I hadn’t been paying much attention to them what with all the murder and mayhem and the fact that they’d once again tried to make trouble between me and Ray. Of course, Ray didn’t know anything about Bunny’s getaway. For sure, he wouldn’t want Brittany and Ashley caught up in whatever was going on.

He didn’t usually call during the day, but I guess there are different rules for parents.

“Can I talk to them?”

“Well, they’re not here. I’m not home.”

“I figured that. I called there first.”

“Right. Alvin and I are on an errand. The girls aren’t with us. They’ll be…” I thought hard. Where would they be? Yet another practice? Alvin probably knew. Was I supposed to keep up with their every move? Was that one of the things that other people seem to know instinctively? That you have to keep an eye on teenage girls who are larger and stronger and most definitely meaner than you are yourself? Was there a human being less suited to being a stepmother than me? Off the top of my head, I couldn’t think of one.

“Where?” said Ray with that tone he gets.

“Getting ready for their race.” I felt pretty safe with that response. They seemed to be practicing all the time. Well, maybe not practicing, but doing something to keep out of the way. Up until this moment, I’d thought that was a good thing.

“So they’re gone already.”

“That’s what I thought,” I fibbed. “Something with the team anyway. Working out, whatever. They all seem to be quite friendly.”

“They are. They all had…” Ray cleared his throat. “They each lost a mother or an aunt to cancer. It gives them a special bond.”

“Oh right,” I said. “It would.” I felt like banging my head on the steering wheel. My mother died when I was born, but it didn’t mean I couldn’t imagine what it would have been like to have known her and lost her.

“I was calling just to wish them luck. They’ll be pretty excited about the race, and I might not have access to a phone during this course.”

Right. The damned course.

He said, “ So I was calling to talk to you too, by the way.

Although that’s not always straightforward.”

“It isn’t? Hey, why are you laughing, Ray?”

“No reason.”

“Okay. I’ll tell them you called.”

“Sure thing.”

“Bye, Ray. I’ll miss talking to you this weekend.”

“Bye, Camilla.”

Alvin glanced over as I clicked off and frowned. I said, “Am I supposed to be watching Ashley and Brittany?”

“They are over eighteen. Adults, and pretty independent adults at that,” Alvin said. “Why?”

“Maybe I’m falling down on the job. This whole joke nightmare has been pretty intense and distracting. I should have been thinking more about them and keeping a closer watch on them while they’re here.”

“I imagine they’re glad you are distracted.”

That struck me as suspicious. “Why do you say that? Do you think they’re up to something?”

“No.”

“Do you think Ray thinks they’re up to something?”

“I think parents always assume you might be up to something.”

I said, “Humph. Well, I know for sure that sisters do.”

My sisters have always stuck their noses into every aspect of my business. They are truly unclear on boundaries. I didn’t want to be like them, but I wasn’t sure exactly what Ray wanted from me. Understanding family dynamics has never been my forte. Even if it had been, I had way too much to think about without adding the girls to the package.

Still, I did wonder how Alvin seemed to naturally pick up on these things.

“Okay, well, that’s enough about that. We have to figure out what to do about you know who. He can’t stay you know where for sure.”

Alvin stared at me and wrinkled his beaky nose. “There you go again, not making any sense. By any chance, have you lost your you know what?”

I made what I thought could be a universal symbol for “maybe someone has bugged our vehicle.”

Alvin countered with the universal symbol for “you’ve lost your marbles” and upped the ante by mouthing the words paranoid paranoid paranoid, followed by the phrase “just plain nuts.”

I did my best to mouth back, “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.”

He countered with, “Just because they’re out to get you doesn’t mean you haven’t lost your marbles.”

Back at the house, Alvin busied himself on a baking bender. He was testing a traditional recipe for scones to see how it compared to the Fergusons’ favourite. I wasn’t sure where that left the chowder project. Never mind, I like scones, so I was willing to show support for either food group. In the meantime, I was feeling restless. Where was Bunny? Why didn’t anyone ever phone me back? I checked out the house and located all the wayward phone receivers, two in the girls’ room and one in the bathroom. I paced waiting for the phone to ring. Of course, I wouldn’t have answered the phone if I’d known it was Jacki Jewell. I was hoping for Bunny and some signal that things were all right.

“I visited your house yesterday,” she accused.

“Did you?”

“It’s still full of suitcases and sports gear. Running shoes everywhere. Unmade beds, towels on the floor.”

I waited.

“And boxes of feminine products in clear view,” she added pointedly.

I said, “I have visitors. I’m sure I told you that. My friend’s daughters are with me. They’re here for the Dragon Boat Festival.”

“It’s just that I can’t show the house when it’s like that. Surely you are aware that neat, uncluttered houses sell faster and get a better price.”

“Just tell them I have visitors. What are you so worried about?”

“Camilla, it’s a buyers’ market now. Even though you have visitors, any potential purchaser is going to look around and decide you don’t have enough storage if there’s not space for their clothes and suitcases and toiletries.”

“There’s plenty of storage.”

“Well, you must insist that your guests use it.”

I had a difficult enough relationship with Ashley and Brittany without adding housekeeping inspection to my routine. Besides, there were few humans who cared less about maintaining a spotless abode than I did. And oddly enough, I felt that the girls didn’t merit this kind of overbearing behaviour.

“Look. Why don’t you wait until they’ve gone back to Nova Scotia and then bring people around?”

“It’s not that simple.” I noticed that Jacki Jewell had developed a slight edge to her voice in the course of our conversation. I wondered if I should suggest that she try to work on that.

“It’s simple, really. They’re guests and they’re young, and I’m not going to hound them about their stuff.”

“Here is the situation: I have potential purchasers in town. They have cash, they love the Glebe and they need to find a place quickly and oddly enough, as they adore Italy, they may not even mind the murals.” I suspected Jacki paused to shudder delicately. “But they don’t have children, and she’s quite fastidious and so far storage has been an issue with them in all of the places we’ve visited. You take my point.”

“I do, and I hope you take mine. I don’t plan to tie myself in knots over the house.”

“Fine,” she snapped. “I’ll bring them over, but it’s probably a complete waste of time.”

Somehow I felt it wasn’t really fine, but that was so not my problem. The house could sell whenever. Or never. Jacki Jewell and my sisters could go up in flames over it if they wanted to. I definitely had other fish to fry.

And other calls to answer. “Elaine? What is it? Are you crying? Calm down!”

“Oh, my god, Camilla! Have you been watching the news?”

“Since when do I watch the news? Why are you asking? Is there some political bullshit going down? A big announcement by some level of government? I have a lot of more important stuff happening here.”

“Bunny.”

“What about him?”

I heard a lot of snuffling down the phone line.

“Elaine. Pull yourself together and tell me. What about Bunny?”

“I saw it on television. Why didn’t I listen to you? How could I be so selfish? What was I—?”

Elaine blubbering was a truly disconcerting phenomenon. I said as calmly as I could. “You what exactly?”

“His house. I recognized it. Little Destiny’s bike is still lying on the path,” Elaine wailed. “You were right, Camilla. Bunny’s beautiful little house burned to the ground. Nobody could have gotten out alive.”

TWELVE

What is the biggest difference between
a tick and a lawyer?
-A tick will fall off when you die.

E
ven from the kitchen, Alvin heard Elaine wailing over the phone. He stuck his head around the corner of the kitchen.

I said, “That’s shocking, Elaine, but Bunny and his family weren’t there. You know I got Joe to take them to a safe place.” I hadn’t told her where Joe Jeremiah had taken Bunny and his family in case she accidentally spilled the beans to Mombourquette.

“Are you sure they didn’t go back? I don’t see how anyone could survive an inferno like that.”

“Trust me, they’re all right.” I aimed a calming gesture at Alvin, who was swaying in alarm.

“The entire house is destroyed,” Elaine said with a catch in her voice. “Everything. They’re still fighting the fire. The neighbouring families had to be evacuated. And a woman was taken away by ambulance.”

I sat down.

“I’ll never forgive myself for not taking you more seriously. Oh my god, Camilla. Do you think it was Tonya? I talked to Joe Jeremiah after his, um, task, and he said she didn’t really want to go with him. The little girl was crying too. What if they went back?”

The same thought had run through my mind. Destiny crying for her doll. Tonya insisting that she needed certain clothing or toiletries. Bunny deciding he couldn’t live without some watercolour.

“Elaine, talk to Leonard. Make him find out what they know about that woman. It’s important.” Elaine likes a mission and she was off on this one.

Alvin grabbed my arm. “Lord thundering Jesus, what is it, Camilla? Are you trying to drive me crazy?”

“Bunny’s house burned to the ground. Elaine is afraid Bunny and his family might have gone home for some reason because emergency workers took a woman, injured or dead, from the house.”