Lay It Down: Bastards MC Series Boxed Set (29 page)

I heard the car pull in on the other side of mine, the driver’s door slam, and I knew Matty was there before I saw him. But I couldn’t stop staring at Will. For the first time all summer, he looked as if he was processing what had happened. Emotions ran over his face, from humiliation, to amusement, to loss. When his eyes finally moved back to mine, I knew that he understood.

“Joes? What’s going on?” Matty had moved to my side, hand touching my arm lightly.

I knew his question was rhetorical. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him turn to me and felt his eyes surveying. Will turned from me and looked at Matt, shame flowing from him in waves.

Before our trip to Boston, I had never considered Matty to be aggressive. There were times I would have called him intimidating, yes, but I would have sworn he’d never actually hurt someone. I knew better now.

He took a step toward Will. “Did you hurt her?” His voice was a coarse whisper.

Will didn’t have a chance to answer. As soon as he asked the question, Matty’s fist flew through the air. It wasn’t like a punch you see in the movies; he didn’t raise his arm in threat or pull his shoulder back. Nope. He just punched Will in the middle of his face. Will’s head reeled back, and before he could right himself, Matty hit him again, this time in his stomach. Will doubled up, and Matty lifted a knee, connecting it with Will’s head.

“Matty!” I screamed. “Stop!” I flew between them as Will dropped to the ground and Matty was pulling his leg back. “Jesus, Matty! Stop it right now!” I yelled, holding up a hand to him as if it would stop the assault.

I was shocked at the ease with which Matty moved. It seemed natural for him, as though he didn’t have to think about what to do next. He just reacted. The worst part was how calm he was. His hands clenched at his sides and I could see his pulse pounding in his neck, but nothing else about him said that he’d just pummeled a man.

“I told you that if he ever touched you again, I’d kill him.” Even his voice was void of emotion. “I fucking meant it.”

My anger flared again. “I had it under control!”

Behind me, Will was pulling himself up, and I fought the urge to turn to help him. Matty’s eyes moved to mine and I saw a small spark of emotion, but I couldn’t tell if it was anger or worry. I only glared back into the blue depths, trying to convey that I was fine.

Matty looked at Will, his face showing pure hatred. “I’ll leave the happy couple to it then.”

I stood there, staring after him long after he had disappeared into the hotel. Will had gone to his car but hadn’t left yet, and I was sure he was waiting for me. I didn’t know what to say, but I knew we needed closure. I took a deep breath, still staring at the hotel, wondering how my life had gotten so screwed up.

“Joey?” Will’s voice was full of questions.

What did we do to us? Where did we go from here? Could we ever move past this? I had all of those questions and more. But I didn’t have any answers. I chewed on my bottom lip, contemplating before I faced him.

I held in the surprise as I looked him over, but I knew it must show on my face because Will only chuckled.

He was sitting on the hood of his car, one hand holding a blood-soaked cloth to his nose, the other braced on his knee. “He packs one helluva punch.”

I reached out, lifting his chin so I could see his nose. “Is it broken?”

Will grinned. “Nope. And I still have all my teeth. See?” He smiled wider, showing me his pearly whites. “Kinda disappointed. How am I supposed to look like I’ve been in a brawl if I don’t have battle wounds?”

I smiled even though I didn’t mean to. “That wasn’t a brawl. He went easy on you—barely hit you twice.”

“That’s because of my cat-like reflexes. I was just too quick.”

I laughed with him, shaking my head. He grabbed my hand and laced his fingers between mine. He searched my face, and his eyes rested on my mouth. Without thinking, I stepped forward, settling between his legs, and put my arms around his belly, cheek to his heart.

He sighed, moving his hand to the back of my head, holding me close. He slid a hand up under my hair, cupping the back of my head in the familiar and comforting way he’d held me to him for years. “Do you know where I’d go if I had a time machine and could go back and change everything?”

“The end of June?” I deadpanned.

I felt him shake his head. “Nope. March of my sophomore year.” His thumb stroked my ear. “We were bickering over something stupid and should have had our first big blow-out, but you shut down.” He smiled. “And I didn’t want you to dump me, so I took you home early instead. All I could think about was how stubborn you were and how I wanted you to yell at me so I could yell back. And then I wanted to carry you to bed, show you how much I loved you, and propose.”

“What?” I was shocked. “You hated when our friends fought over stupid shit!”

His thumb continued to move against my hair in a relaxing rhythm. “Couples fight, Joey. They disagree, they yell, they say hateful things. It’s a great way to release frustration. You always shut down, backed away if an argument ever came up with me. But with everyone else, you were so passionate.” He sighed. “I was terrified you’d leave me, and I was a kid who loved his girlfriend more than anything else. So I’d go back to that night, have that argument, and then make love to you the rest of the night. I think it would have changed our course.”

“Why, so you could beat me into submission back then?”

Sadness crossed his face. “No! Fuck, no.” He looked down. “I am so sorry, Joey! The idea of losing you, of waking up to an empty house for the rest of my life… it kills me. I can’t imagine it.”

I pulled back, standing up. “How many times did you cheat in college?” It was abrupt, but I needed to know.

His head snapped up, confusion replacing the shame. “Once. I’m not proud of it, Joey, but I’ve made mistakes. There was that one time in school and then…” He sighed, and I knew he was talking about his adorable co-worker. “Rach was… Rachel wasn’t about sex. I got confused.” He shook his head again. “I thought… I love her.” He shrugged. “I love you more. You're my whole world. I never thought you and Matt… not really. I never imagined you would…”

He didn’t finish. He didn’t need to. He’d said it before. He didn’t think I’d leave him.

The tears burning my eyes made me realize how sad I was for both of us. “I’m in love with him, Will.”

“I know. But that doesn’t make me love you any less.” He peered at me. “And that doesn’t make him any less dangerous.”

I instantly took another step back, defensive again. “Matty isn’t dangerous!”

Will sighed. “I know that’s what you think, and I respect your opinion—”

“Oh, shut up!” I interrupted. I couldn’t begin to count how many times I’d heard those words, his way of avoiding an argument. “If you have something to say, just say it!”

His eyes flashed, and a ghost of a smile crossed his lips before his face got serious. “I think there are a lot of things Matty hasn’t told you about his life. He isn’t who you think he is.” He stood before I could say a word. “Here.” He walked to the passenger side and pulled out a thick manila envelope.

My mouth dropped open as I realized what it was. It couldn’t be. “What is that?” I asked, struggling to find my voice.

“This”—he held it out to me—“is Matt.”

I shook my head. “No. It’s a bunch of shit that you paid someone to dredge up about him. Matt’s the man upstairs waiting for me.” I turned, suddenly wondering if he’d been watching us. “He’s the one who kicked your ass in my defense.”

Will nodded. “Exactly. Take it.” He shook the envelope at me. “I know you, Joey.” He held up a hand at my protest. “You may think that I don’t know who you are, but I do. You need to read this so you can decide for yourself if this is the kind of man you want in your life, the kind of man you trust around our kids.”

“What?” I sneered. I was seething. Matty had been always been part of our children’s lives, and other than Will, there wasn’t a single person I trusted more around them.

He closed the gap between us, setting the packet in my hands. “I’ve read it, and I know who he is. I know you won't like what you find.” He leaned in, soft lips pushed against my temple, and turned toward his car.

"It won't matter, Billy. There is nothing in here that he hasn’t told me, nothing that would change my mind about him.”
I’m still leaving you, no matter what that packet says.

He stopped, head looking over his shoulder, back at me. “Fine. Then read it and stay with him. And we’ll let the court decide who gets the kids.”

27

“Jo?”

I jumped. Closing my eyes for a brief second, I reopened them to find my computer screen much less fuzzy. I sighed. My eyes weren’t the only thing tired. Matty and I had spent the early evening moving my things then unpacking me at his—no, our—house, then we’d sat on the sun porch and talked for half the night. Well, we’d talked for a few minutes. I smiled at the memory of his body holding mine against the wall as he moaned my name when he found his release.

I turned to my visitor, smile still in place. Teagan looked uncomfortable and worried.

I raised both eyebrows. “Everything okay?”

She shook her head. Looking around quickly to make sure no one could hear her, she moved over to my chair. “I heard a vicious rumor.”

I laughed at her seriousness. “I told you, T, there is no way in hell shoulder pads are coming back! Look at these things”—I rolled my shoulders forward—“they cannot handle that craze again!” The giggle died on my lips when she didn’t even smile. “Teagan, what’s wrong?” My heart started beating faster as I leaned forward, anticipating what she was going to say.

She turned, grabbed Matty’s empty chair, and slid it over to me before sitting down. Bracing her hands just above her knees, she leaned in close so only I could make out the whispered words. “Are you sleeping with Matt?”

My breath caught. Teagan never called him Matt. He had always been Biker Boy or Party Prince to her, so I knew she was angry. I wet my bottom lip before scraping my teeth along it and pulling it into my mouth. The answer wasn’t simple, especially for her. She wasn’t just my friend; she was the friend who had been decimated by a cheating husband. Plus, she was a co-worker. We weren’t ready to go public yet. However, that bullshit monitor of hers wouldn’t allow a lie.

I shrugged. “It’s complicated.”

She raised a mahogany eyebrow.

“Fine.” I took a deep breath, met her pale green eyes, and told the truth. “Yes. I moved in with him.” I didn’t mention that the living arrangement happened just yesterday, knowing the timeline didn’t matter.

Teagan turned her head, but didn’t break my stare, and drew in a long breath. I knew that she was debating what to say.

I didn’t wait for her to ask the questions. “Will and I separated legally earlier in the summer. He moved on. Matty and I decided to see if we could work a few weeks ago.”

“I get it.” She nodded. “I do. It’s Matty. The two of you…” Her eyes moved from mine to the picture of Matty and me hugging and laughing at the camera.

I knew that would be the general consensus around the office. People had wondered about us for years. Many assumed that we’d had an affair already, and most wouldn’t be surprised that we were together now.

She leaned forward, putting a hand on my knee and green eyes searching mine intently. “Jo, I need you to promise me you will think about giving your marriage more time.” Her words surprised me, and I frowned at her. “Take it from me—it’s easy to be mad, to throw a marriage away, but I can promise you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering if it was a mistake. Always choose your marriage. Always.”

I tipped my head, trying to find the right words. “This isn’t about Matty at all.” I smiled. “He’s my best friend and I love being with him, but even if you take him out of the picture, Will and I are still done.” I sat back, shaking my head. “I still adore him, T. But if I stay with him any longer, I’m going to resent him. And one day, sooner than later, I’m going to hate him. I would rather end it now and be able to parent with someone I like, than wait it out and spend the rest of my life fighting through my children.”

Her eyes sparked, but she merely offered me a small smile. “You know I love you and will support whatever decision you make, but I just want you to think about it.”

I didn’t know what to say. She tapped my knee in a loving, motherly fashion and gave me another small smile as she stood and left. I turned back to my desk, staring at a picture of Will and me from college. The lack of emotion I felt when I saw him smiling down at me surprised me. Teagan was wrong. The only thing I regretted was not leaving months ago.

**********

The next few days moved quickly as Matty and I tried to find a balance between our new life and the old. We hadn’t talked about what had happened in the parking lot. When I’d walked back into my hotel room, I discovered he’d packed the rest of my things and was waiting to load the cars. I didn’t miss the look of relief on his face when I smiled up at him. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him about the envelope from Will.