Authors: Tl Alexander
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary
I peek out from our hiding place. “Crap, Lane it’s the Boss-man.”
He looks over my shoulder. “And fucking Mia,” he hisses.
“Mia? His ex-wife?”
“Yeah. She’s a fucking piranha. She’ll eat the flesh off your bones.”
“So, you don’t like her?” I say with sarcasm.
“I hate the bitch.”
I scan over a pretty petite blond sporting extra-large tatas.
“Sure is a tiny thing. She looks like a pixie with large tatas—like Tinker Bell. ”
“Tinker Hell is more like it.”
“So you really don’t like her.”
“Fuck no,” Lane says a little too loudly and we start to giggle.
They move closer to the pool and we freeze.
“Boss-man looks hot in that tux,” I comment.
Lane smirks. “I wouldn’t know.”
“Why are you here Mia?” Jaxson shouts.
I jump and pray they didn’t hear the slight splash.
“Oh, come on Jaxson—I’m here with a date. When I found out it was your charity dinner we were attending it was too late for me to cancel.”
Jaxson huffs. “You came here to cause trouble and you have…so now you can leave!”
“Leave? But we haven’t finished our dinner,” she whines.
“What did you say or do to Hanna?”
“I didn’t say or do anything to her.”
“Well, she ran out in tears. God, Mia! You are such a bitch. Hanna is the chair of the charity. And just because she was sitting next to me—you what? What do you think you’re doing? Marking your territory?”
She laughs. It’s a high-pitched squeal—like a dying cat. Lane and I wince. “I was just curious. I thought she was that whore Alexia that you have living here. I can’t believe you talked the rest of partners into that. She should be in jail.”
I look at Lane and whisper. “Jaxson never told me that his ex-wife was a partner.”
“Yeah, she has the majority of the partner shares.”
“That’s too bad,” I whisper.
“Mia, I’m not going over this again with you. I want you to find your date and get the hell out of my house!”
“Okay. Don’t get your briefs in a tangle. At the partners’ meetings you said there was nothing personal between you two, but I knew you were lying.”
“Mia, get out of my house or I’ll have you thrown out!”
“Okay, no need to get all hot and bothered, I’m leaving. It won’t be long before you’ll be calling me anyway—you always do.”
She purrs and I all but throw up.
“Goodnight my dearest Jaxson.” She gives him a wave then walks back through the solarium and into the house.
“I can see why you don’t like her.” I whisper to Lane.
“Yeah, she’s a real charmer.”
Jaxson paces near the pool for few minutes then turns and starts walking back toward the solarium.
Lane and I let out our breath.
“Didn’t need to hear that” I say.
“Told you, Tinker Hell.”
“Who’s out there?” Jaxson shouts as he stomps back toward the pool.
“Under now!” Lane whispers.
We go under. When we can no longer hold our breath we slowly surface.
Jaxson is gone.
“That was close.” I sigh.
“Sure was dudla.”
We wait for a few minutes just to make sure the coast remains clear. Then we climb out, grab our clothes and run to the solarium. Lane pulls a couple of towels from a cabinet. We wrap ourselves in the towels and hustle out through the gate. We run up the path toward the guesthouse, enter, and make our way to the kitchen.
We stand draped in our towels dripping on the tile floor. We look at each other and crack up like hyenas.
”Fuck, that was fun!”
“Yeah real fun. Not,” I reply and start to dry myself off. I look up and Lane has stopped laughing and is staring at me.
“Sorry dude. Can you show me where the bathroom is?”
“If you insist.” He pouts, and leads me to the guest bathroom, then walks to his own.
I get dressed and soon meet him back in the kitchen. He looks up from raiding the fridge.
“Are you hungry?”
“I’m starving.” I sit down on a barstool.
Lane starts randomly pulling food out when Mary walks in.
“Where have you two been? I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
She frowns and puts down a tray wrapped in foil. “Leftovers from the party” she says. Are you two hungry?”
Lane and I look at each other. “Starving.” We both pant.”
Mary gives us a suspicious look then removes the leftovers from the tray.
Lane gets out plates and utensils. We go at the leftovers like starving Hannibal Lectors.
Mary sniffs the air. “What’s that smell?” She sniffs Lane then me. “My good God you two smell like dope. Have you been smoking crack?”
We look at her serious expression, and then we laugh our asses off.
When Lane finally gets his voice he puffs out. “Mom we’re not on crack.”
She sniffs us again.
“Just a little pot, Mom. You know, weed, grass, marijuana, cannabis.”
She rolls her eyes. “I know what pot is smart ass.”
I finally stop my hysteria and she gives me a stern mother look.
“I expect this kind of behavior from my son Alexia, but not from you.”
“I’m sorry, Mary.” I laugh-pout.
“Well, just don’t do it again. That shit messes up your reproductive system.” She points at Lane.
I giggle.
“Thanks, Mom, I love you too.”
“You know I love you son. Why else would I drive a minivan with a bumper sticker that reads: ‘Proud Parent Of A Clueless Pothead’.” She laughs, Lane frowns.
“Well, you two, I’ve got to get back to the party. I can’t stay and baby-sit for the rest of the night—so stay out of trouble. What would Jaxson say if he found you two stoned out of your minds?” She shakes her head and walks out the door.
We dig into the leftovers. Lane looks at me and with his mouth stuffed full of mashed potatoes, he mumbles something like “It’s a good thing my mom doesn't know that I get my weed from Jaxson.” He swallows.
Thank fuck. Because I can’t understand him and don’t like seeing mashed potatoes swimming around his tongue piercing.
Gross.
He takes a drink of water. “She would be heart-broken, she thinks he’s a saint.”
I smile.
We devoured the leftovers and a pot of coffee, then sit on the sofa, full and sleepy.
I’m tired dude. It’s time for me to head out. Had fun hanging with you, Mr. Gray. Not sure if I want to remember some of it, but…”
I look at Lane who is sit-lying next to me, fast asleep. I get up and pull a blanket over him. I give him a kiss on the cheek. “Goodnight, dude man.”
The morning after the shindig I run a quick five miles. Afterwards, I sit on my favorite bench in the west garden.
Lane strolls over.
“Good morning, Chubby Boy Dude Man.”
He smiles as he sits.
“You look like you slept well,” I comment.
“Yeah. Hey, did I fall asleep on you last night?”
“You did, but I was ready to leave anyway.”
“How did you sleep?” he asks.
“Almost fell asleep in the shower. When my head hit the pillow—I was gone.”
“I had the strangest dream.”
“Do tell.”
“I dreamt that I got
real
high and swam around in a pool with a beautiful naked woman.”
“That is a strange dream. Perhaps you should talk to your therapist about that one.”
He laughs. “How was your run?”
“Okay. Just a little off my stride.”
Lane looks up. “Jaxson twelve o’clock.”
I look up and watch Jaxson walk through the garden toward us.
“Good morning. Mind if I join you two?” he asks.
“Not at all,” I answer. I slide over and pat the bench and he sits.
“How was your party?” Lane asks with a smirk.
I give him an elbow.
“Okay, I guess. We surpassed our donation goal.”
“That’s wonderful, Jaxson,” I say.
He clears his throat. “Mary tells me that you two had your own little party.”
“Yeah, we had a smokin’ good time,” Lane rings out.
Jaxson tilts his head. “What did you do at this party?”
I give Lane a sideward glance. No help there. “We watched a movie.”
“What movie did you watch?”
I turn my head and look at Lane again. “Do you remember the name of the movie?”
“Hmm…let’s see…think it was called something like—‘Daddy Couldn’t Make Me Come’… I mean…‘Go—Make Me Go.’”
I bite my lip desperately trying not to laugh.
Jaxson rubs his brow. “Never heard of it. Sounds like a horror film.”
We giggle.
“So it was a comedy, then?”
“Yeah,” I reply. “Dark comedy.”
“What was it about?”
“Some poor skinny girl hiding with her daddy in the bush,”
I retort.
Jaxson gives me a skeptical look. “The Australian bush?”
“Yeah, the deep Australian bush.”
Lane’s face turns beet red from holding in his laughter. He gets up and blows it out. “I’ve got to go…I’ll see ya later.” He walks toward the guesthouse and when he rounds the corner we hear him burst out with laughter.“
“Must have been one hell of a funny movie.”
“Yes, it…it had its moments.”
Jaxson sits back and nudges my knee with his. “Missed you last night.”
“Sorry I couldn’t make it. House arrest and all.”
“Would you have come if you weren’t?”
“Probably not.”
He nudges my knee again. “You and Lane seem to be getting close?”
“Are you jealous?”
“No, just making an observation.”
“Yeah, right.” I smirk.
“Okay, maybe just a little.”
“No worries he’s a bit young for me.”
“He’s only five years younger.”
“The same age as my sister. I’ve been thinking about setting him up with Sam.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear that. One less man I’ll have to fight off.”
“You mean Lester and Louie? They’re the only other men around here.” I grin.
He pulls my hand in his and entwines our fingers.
“Lane and your sister huh?”
“Yeah.”
“But she lives in Portland, Oregon.”
“Don’t you remember I told you that Sam’s moving to New York in a couple months.”
“I forgot. Got a lot on my mind lately.”
“I know you do, and I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“Okay.”
“Sam, she’s a structural engineer?”
“Yeah, green construction. She’s been trying to get a job in the city for a couple of years.”
“Well, I can’t wait to meet her.”
“You’ll like her.”
“I remember seeing her picture on your laptop. She looks like your twin.”
“Yeah, she looks like me.”
“If Sam is anything like you, then Lane is a lucky man.”
“We might look a lot like each other but personality-wise she’s more like Jules.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“What’s with you and Jules?”
“Really? She’s a nut case. I feel like she’s eye-fucking me all the time.”
I laugh. “I think she does. Maybe not anymore—she has her own eye candy now.”
“Poor Nick. He’s got it bad for the wacko.”
Jaxson brings up our linked hands and kisses my knuckles. I return the gesture.
“You’re different here, more relaxed ”
“Really? Could it be because I’m unemployed with too much time on my hands?”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
I give him a hard look. “Oh my God, I can’t believe you just said that. I’m going fucking crazy. Don’t get me wrong. I love everyone here and love spending time with them. And yeah, it’s been nice sleeping in and having the time to read a few books. But, you know I need to work, just like you do. It’s more than just a job to me. It always has been. Working grounds me.”
“I thought running grounded you.”
“It does, but it’s not enough.”
“Then run more.”
I roll my eyes. “I have been—twenty miles a day. I’m starting to count when I run and that’s not good.”
“What does that mean?”
“Every time a foot hits the pavement I count it. I try not to but the more I try not to the greater the urge is to do so.”