Laying Low in Hollywood (10 page)

   When I arrived back with my group, Elena and Ron were both staring at me blankly, not really sure why Jorge seemed to be so  angry with me.  Maurice was eyeing me with a smug smile on his face, it was as if he knew exactly what had upset Jorge.  I narrowed my eyes at him, I was sure my face was red with embarrassment.  Hopefully, the rest of the group hadn’t heard any of my annoying exchange with Jorge.

   “Okay, are you two ready to try this?” I asked, trying to sound enthusiastic, even though I was feeling a bit like a whipped dog at the moment.

   Luckily, Elena had been so impressed with Ron’s effort, she was actually excited to try the death spiral.  Elena had never actually done one, so it took quite a bit of coaching to get her through it.  By the end of our practice session they nearly had it down and I knew, it was going to be the highlight of our 30 second intro.

   When our practice was over, I was sitting on the bench unlacing my skates, Ron came over and sat next to me.   He was only being friendly, but given my earlier encounter with Jorge, I was nervous.  I didn’t want Jorge freaking out again. 

   Besides, Jorge was right, if Ron and I were publicly linked it would be bad publicity for the show.  Not to mention the fact that I had no intention of becoming involved with a happily married man.

   “I’m pretty excited about the death spiral.  Do you think any of the other teams have anything that cool planned for their intro?” he asked, flashing me a stunning smile.

   “From what I’ve seen, I seriously doubt it, but we can’t get too cocky.  This is just an intro, it’s not worth any points, next week we will need to focus on our first program. There’s a lot more to learn if you want to fill up a full two minutes,” I told him.

  “I know whatever you come up with will be spectacular,” he said, unlacing his skates while he talked.

   “Thanks Ron,” I told him, unable to conceal the smile that seemed to automatically come to my lips.

   “There’s that smile I love,” he said, gazing into my eyes for a moment or two, then looking away shyly.  I drew in a deep breath, warning bells were suddenly going off in my brain.  Hopefully, it was nothing more than a friendly compliment, but I was worried, I couldn’t have him flirting with me.  I was almost sure I wasn’t strong enough to deal with that for twelve weeks!

   “Ron, I...” I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say, but whatever it was, it wouldn’t come out anyway.  My mouth was dry and my heart was pounding nervously.

    “Yeah, I know.  You and Jorge, you have some kind of thing going on.  I realize that, I just don’t understand it.  I don’t really see that the two of you have anything in common,” said Ron, giving me a little shrug.

   “Jorge and I have plenty in common,” I snapped, trying to force my voice to sound convincing.  I realized that trying to convince anyone that Jorge and I were lovers, would be a bit of an uphill battle. 

   Jorge was not what I would consider attractive, he had been born into money, that was obvious from his demeanor, and in the way that he dressed.  I was guessing that he was fifty four or fifty five.  He worked out, so he was pretty fit, but he was not really what I would consider to be drop dead gorgeous. I had developed a sincere affection for Jorge, he was driven, but deep down he was a kind and caring person.

   “It’s just that he’s like fifty or something, and you’re how old?  Like thirty eight?” asked Ron.

   “I just turned forty three, and why should you even care?  You’re married!” I cried.

   “You’re forty three?  Wow, I had guessed that you were younger than me.  I just turned forty,” he said, with a little laugh.

   “Listen Ron, Jorge and I have a history together, we both toured Europe with the European Theater Company.  He knew me years ago, back when I was the professional skater,” I told him with a shrug.  I wasn’t sure how else to explain my strange relationship with Jorge.

   “Actually, now that you’ve brought all that up, this is what I had been wondering about.  I was curious, I knew you must have been one hell of a skater, I mean you still are.  I’m just a bit confused, because I Googled you and I couldn’t find much about you at all.  What I found was a detail of your choreography experience in Colorado Springs, but it seems like before that, you didn’t even exist,” said Ron.

  “You Googled me!” I cried, trying to sound appropriately exasperated.

   “Sure, I have the right to to know who I’m working with,  and what your experience is.  I even looked under your maiden name.  I really only found a few news clips, before 1980, nothing too spectacular.  I was a bit confused though, Jorge had told me that you were a pairs skater, but the news articles I found didn’t say anything about pairs skating,” said Ron, eyeing me carefully.

   I sighed miserably, maybe coming here had been a mistake.  Maybe my scandalous past was finally coming back to haunt me.  I guess I’d been so heartbroken by my divorce, I hadn’t even considered the consequences of putting my life back in the limelight.

   “I wasn’t a pairs skater at first, try Googling the name Lane Melbourne and see what you come up with, you may find out a little bit more than you really want to know about me,” I told him, rolling my eyes.

   I was cringing inwardly, over the years the scandal had faded away.  I had forgotten that in this day and age people could easily revisit the past with a few clicks of a computer’s mouse. I should have known better than to come on this show and put my past back on display for further scrutiny. 

   As far as I was concerned, Lane Melbourne was a completely different person than I was now.  A person created out of necessity, when I was barely old enough to know better.  Who would have known that my own parents would sell me out when I was just fifteen years old?

    “Really Lane, I don’t care about your past, I wasn’t trying to dig up dirt on you or anything. I just wanted to know what you were like, when you were younger,” said Ron, looking into my eyes very earnestly.

   “All I can say is that Lane Melbourne was a person I left behind a long time ago.  You may be shocked, when you figure out who I used to be,” I told him with a wry smile.

   “I really can’t imagine what Lane Jensen would have to hide,” said Ron, smiling at me.

   “I’m not hiding anything, do your research if you must.  I don’t begrudge you your right to know.  I’m just saying, some stones are best left unturned,” I told him with a shrug.  Jorge had been right, I did have a colorful past, some people might not realize that I did what I had to do, just to survive. 

   My seemingly perfect childhood had been nothing but an illusion and my transition into adulthood had been a crazy drama, made even more public by the ever present media. Growing up is always difficult, unfortunately growing up in the spotlight is a nightmare!

   “Lane, I realize that everyone thinks I’m just here for the money.  Maybe it started out that way, but the truth is, I really don’t even know who I am anymore.  I loved playing football, but everyone knew I couldn’t do that forever.  I took the job with the sports show in New York because it was decent money and it seemed like a good fit for me.”

   “I was happy, but Jenae is convinced I did it to punish her.  She’s constantly riding me about doing something that makes more money.  I feel like my life is never my own.  I keep doing what I think is right for everybody else, but I never do what is right for me.  For just once in my life I wanted to do something strange and unexpected, something no one would think I was capable of.  This is it,” he said, looking into my eyes.

   I nodded at him, I couldn’t find the words to speak.  We were a lot alike.  Jorge was right, there was some strange chemistry between the two of us, a chemistry I was forced to ignore.

             
    “Remember what you said to me that first day we met Lane?  You said that you were starting over, you were doing something outside your comfort zone.  That’s what I want.  I want to live my life.  I feel like I’ve been a pawn on a chess board for too long, everyone else was making the moves, but it was my life.  First my father, then my coaches, now my wife.”

   “I feel like I haven’t been happy since I was just a small child.  I’ve been successful, but I haven’t really been happy.  How pathetic is that?” he asked, giving me a rueful smile.

   “If you want to be happy, you need to follow your heart,” I said, mindlessly repeating an old saying my grandmother had told me years ago.

   “What if my heart leads me to you?” he asked, looking into my eyes, earnestly.

   “Ron...I need to go,” I snapped, standing up and turning away from him quickly.

   “Did I do something wrong?” he asked, standing up and taking my hand.  I wanted to pull my hand away, but suddenly, my heart was pounding and I felt as if I could barely breathe.

   I scanned the arena quickly, to see if Maurice was lurking nearby, secretly filming our intimate conversation.             

   “Ron, it’s Jorge, it’s just that...”

   “Lane, I realize that Jorge is your boss and the two of you are having some sort of a thing...”

   “No Ron, there’s no thing!  Jorge is my boss, and he has forbid me to have any contact with you except on the ice, even on the ice we have to be careful.  You’re married, and if people suspected that we were attracted to each other, then that would only make for bad publicity for the show!” I cried, finally feeling free, now that all that was out in the open.

    “So you are attracted to me,” said Ron, as he flashed me a sly smile.

   “Ron I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.  If Jorge suspects anything, he’ll break our team up.  I don’t want that, I really think we may have a chance in this competition.” 

   “What if I told you I feel the same way? ”asked Ron, looking into my eyes, making my heart pound completely out of control.

   “Ron please don’t do this, you’re married,” I breathed, still looking around the ice rink nervously.

   “What if I told you my marriage was on the rocks anyway?” he whispered, his body seemed to be drifting closer to me.

   “Ron, your marriage is not on the rocks.  You love Jenae, you love your girls,” I told him, as heartbreaking as it was to say the words.  I wanted to tell him that Jenae was using him, that she didn’t deserve him, but really, it was none of my business.  Besides, even though I had feelings for Ron, I had meant what I said to Jorge that day.  I wasn’t a home wrecker.

   “No, I’ve been in denial.  Jenae wants out, I can feel it.  She used to love me, the man.  Now she loves Ron Brannon, the legend, now that I’m not playing football anymore...things are different.  I can’t help but feel like she’s out there looking...”

   “Ron don’t be ridiculous!  Maybe she pushed you to do this show for reasons other than money.  Maybe she just wanted you to prove to yourself that you can do whatever it is you set out to do.  Maybe...”

   “Lane, you don’t know her like I do.  You’re different, you care about me, the man.  You care about my feelings, my dreams.  I was drawn to you right away,” said Ron, laying his hand gently on my cheek.  He was looking down into my eyes, casting a spell over me.  I couldn’t move, in fact, I felt as if I could barely breathe.  He was going to kiss me, and I wasn’t sure I had it in me, to stop him.

   “Ron, don’t do this,” I whispered, as I felt his arms sliding around my waist.

                 “I have to do this,” his voice was deep and velvety, it felt heavenly to be in his arms.  I was so swept away, I forgot where I was, maybe even who I was.

   “Ron, we can’t...I managed to whisper, I barely realized I was drifting even closer to him, in anticipation of the kiss.

   “What Jenae and I have is over,” said Ron, drifting even closer to me.  My own conscious was crying out to me.  Someone was always watching, he was married, we couldn’t do this.

    “It’s bad publicity either way, just let it go Ron,” I said, finally managing to pull myself from his embrace.  I was almost panting as I turned away from him, unable to look him in the eye.