Layover (22 page)

Allen was right. I always had a problem letting go of projects that I considered  “my baby”. I mean, I always felt that if I wasn’t there, things wouldn’t get done right. Now, I’m starting to open my mind to the idea that I need to learn to delegate in order to maximize my effectiveness. After all, what if Ted Turner felt the need to be at CNN, AOL, Time Warner, and all of those other places all at the same time? He would never have built the empire he has by trying to be everywhere all the time. I was glad that I had someone like Allen now, who could put things in perspective for me now. I never had that kind of support or advice from Kenny. He probably would have told me to watch them because they might try to steal from me. What Allen is trying to show me is that you can’t build the mall if you’re too busy watching the store.

“I know, Allen. But, I’ve never really considered living in Colorado. It’s not that I’m afraid of change, it’s just this is happening very fast.”

“Ny, this relationship is what we both want. I’m not saying we have to live in Colorado. I just suggested it. I believe Denver may be a better place to raise a family.”

“Let’s revisit this another time,” I said, trying to avoid what could be the first conflict of our relationship.

“Alright, but I think it’s something you should think about.”

“And I think the possibility of leaving Denver is something you should think about as well.”

“Ny, you know I want to be close to Andy.”

And Lisa.

Whenever a brother starts talking about being close to his children, you can believe that a baby’s momma is not far from the picture.

“And what if Lisa moves? Are you going to go wherever she moves just to be close to Andy?”

“Ny, what are you saying? Are you saying I want to be close to Lisa? Nya, I just left my pregnant wife for you. That should give you some indication of how strongly I feel about you. I don’t want to be with Lisa anymore. Don’t start acting jealous.”

“I’m not acting jealous. I never said you still wanted to be with Lisa. But maybe a part of you still wants to control her and the best way to do that is to say it is for the best interest of Andy.”

“Ny, I’m surprised at you.”

He said he was surprised at me but he looked like he was surprised at himself. He looked as though he had a realization that maybe he was trying to control Lisa and he never thought of it before now.

“You’re right, Ny. Maybe we should revisit this later,” he told me.

We got to the store and there were signs posted that they would only be open until noon. We went inside to get the cranberry sauce. Allen grabbed a buggy for no reason that was apparent to me and we walked slowly down the aisles together like an old married couple. I looked at him and smiled. It was funny to me to see a man pushing a grocery cart, especially with the care and ease with which Allen did. He was a natural at this family thing and I envisioned us doing this as a family with our five children toddling happily behind us.

“This feels right,” I told him.

When we got the checkout counter with a cart containing only a few cans of cranberry sauce, we were floored to see who our cashier was.

“Ya’ll two are a trip. Now she’s supposed to be married to Kenny, but she’s always with you. What’s up with that?”

“Mind your own business, Akina,” Allen told her.

“Akina, why are you working today?” I wanted to know.

“I need the money to take of my children since their sorry ass daddies don’t want to.”

She glared at Allen angrily. It wasn’t orchestrated. She looked as if she believed with all of her heart and soul that Allen had fathered her oldest child.

“Well, when you get off a 12:00, are you going to have dinner at your family’s house?”

“Why are you all up in my business? For your information, my family went to New Orleans for Thanksgiving. I would drive down there when I get off, but my car won’t make it that far. So, I’ll be home alone for Thanksgiving.”

My heart dropped. I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone being alone on the holidays. I knew everyone, including myself was going to hate me for what I was about to do but it was the only right thing to do.

“Akina, you can come to our house when you get off. I mean, you can come and fix yourself a plate. I don’t know if it would be good idea if you stayed, but if you just want to get some food, we have plenty.”

She looked at Allen. Allen looked at me as if he were going to stabbed me.

“They don’t want me over there,” she convinced herself.

“Well, I’m inviting you. Akina, no one should be alone on the holidays. Just stop by and get some food. If you feel uncomfortable, you can leave.”

“Where is Allen’s wife? Is she going to be there?”

“Akina, don’t worry about Lisa. Just come and eat some fried turkey.”

“Ok, but I’m not staying.”

She checked us out of the line and we walked to the car. I knew Allen was going to blast me, but I felt it was the only right thing to do. Allen opened my door for me and we got in the car. We started down the road and he began to speak.

“So, have you called into your office to make sure everything is going ok?”

“No, but I checked my messages and there were none. That just means that Dee Dee and Haily haven’t killed each other yet. Besides, they both have the number at ma’s house if they need to reach me.”

“That’s cool. It sounds like you are doing a great job. You know, Ny, I think you are going to be one hell of a developer. You’ve got everything it takes!”

I looked puzzled. I’m sitting here waiting for the other shoe to drop. He is supposed to be mad about me inviting Akina to dinner and he hasn’t said a word. But Allen is smart. He is going to wait for me to bring it up. He’s not like Kenny. Kenny would have cursed my ass out in the parking lot of the store. Allen is much more subtle. He’s going to get on my case, but it’s going to be in such a way that I won’t even know what happened.

“You know, Ny. Compassion is a very important attribute to have in business. Compassionate people are always successful. Look at all the great philanthropists of the world. Giving is what made some of them the richest people in the world. You’ve got the give. I believe that. However, I also believe that you have to know when to give, how to give, and whom to give to.”

Here it comes. I knew he was going to get on me. I hate to say it, but it’s times like these that I wish I was still with Kenny. It never would have taken him this long to make a point. Kenny would simply have said,

What the fuck do you think you’re doing inviting that bitch to my momma’s house? You can’t invite someone to a house that’s not even yours. Now you better go back and tell her ass that she can’t come. You know that bitch is crazy anyway. I’m not playing. My momma is going to kill you.

Instead, I’m about to get the school lecture. Maybe I can circumvent the whole thing by simply confessing my sins and praying for forgiveness.

“Listen Allen, I know you’re upset about me inviting Akina to dinner. You are not going to be the only one. But I did what I thought was right. Now, we are all supposed to be religious people. Do you think God would be pleased with us if we left a woman that we all know alone on Thanksgiving? What if the Native Americans said, ‘Forget y’all Pilgrims. Nobody told y’all to sail your happy asses over here anyway. We’re not sharing anything. Go get your own sweet potato pie’.”

I was very adamant about what I had done. I was following my heart and it felt good.

“You’re right Ny. I was being selfish.”

I’m what? I’m right? What?

I have never, in all of my 3 some odd years with Kenny, heard those words. I was beginning to think that is wasn’t possible.

“So was I. I should have asked you how you felt about it before I invited her.”

“It’s ok, Ny. We are learning as we go.”

We pulled up to the house and I immediately started thinking about what I was going to say to my mother-in-law. I wasn’t sure how she was going to react about the news that Akina was coming, so I had to be very tactful. My strategy was going to be trying to tug at her heart strings. After all, it was my tender heart that compelled me to invite her in the first place. As we walked into the house, I began:

“Ma, you won’t believe who was working alone at the store this morning.”

“Who, my baby?”

“Akina. Her family left and went to New Orleans so she is going to be alone for Thanksgiving.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. You should have invited her over here - I mean if Allen doesn’t mind.”

“I did invite her and Allen said that it would be fine.”

“You did a good thing, Ny. No one should spend Thanksgiving alone.”

So I was right, after all. I knew it. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t the last person on earth with a heart. I began to help my mother-in-law set the food on the table. I was excited about dinner and nervous, all at the same time. I really didn’t know how I was supposed to act now that I was officially with Allen but still married to Kenny. Even more so than that, I didn’t know how Kenny was going to act. Kenny was a trip. You just never knew what he was going to pull. Hell, Kenny was so hurt, he might not even show up for dinner. I guess the most comforting thing was that Lisa was not going to be there.  I wasn’t worried about her, though, because she has a lot of family and emotional support during these times. Hell, she even has Michael. She was doing a lot better than Kenny. Still, I don’t feel sorry for Kenny because he brought all of this on himself. Yet, I can’t help but wonder where we would be right now if I had not had that layover in Denver.

As we laid the last dish out on the huge dining room table, we could hear Denise’s practical, economy car pull up. She entered the house in her loud and usual way.

“So you two are an item, now?”

We smiled and looked at each other.

“Ma called and told me everything. I’m so happy for you guys. I’m always glad to see two nerds in love, trying to make it work. Where is Kenny?”

“We don’t know. He left this morning.”

“Maybe we will be lucky and he won’t come back. We will have all the food to ourselves,” she joked.

Soon more cars pulled in and before long, the house was filled with uncles, aunts, cousins, nieces, nephews and a host of other distant relatives. It was the part that I loved the most - warm house full of family with lots of food. I felt very fortunate to be in the situation I was in. I mean, on one hand, I was losing a good man. But, on the other hand I was gaining a great man. Through it all, I was able to keep the same family, which was even more rewarding. My life was great and I was excited to be me. As each person entered the house, they all asked me the same question, “Where is Kenny?”

I began to feel awkward and wondered if this wouldn’t be the best time to just tell everyone what was going on. It seemed logical since everyone was here. There wouldn’t be the need to try to explain individually why I am no longer with one brother, and now with another. I pulled my mother in law to the side and asked if it would be alright if Allen and I made an announcement later. She thought it was a great idea.

“Ny, I think under the circumstances, that might be best. Just make sure everyone is here when you do, so you won’t have to say it again.”

“Ma, why don’t you let me say the blessing for the food and I’ll just slide it in at that time?”

“That’s fine, Ny.”

I told Allen what I was going to do.

“Ny, why don’t we show our unity by blessing the food together and making the announcement?”

I thought it was a great idea. I was so proud and excited to have someone like Allen. He was smart, strong, sensitive, and insightful. He was the perfect man. I used to think that Kenny was perfect but that was before I really got to know Allen. He had all the elements that Kenny was missing. Kenny was just a fine ass, chocolate nigga with a sweet ass beard. What’s worse is that if you told him that, he wouldn’t even be offended. He thinks everything in this world is based on your looks.

We sat around and watched the parade on television. We talked and everyone was anticipating the meal. I knew that, like every year, most of the family members who showed up just came for the meal. Soon after dinner was served, they would disburse to their respective homes. I think that’s why my mother-in-law cooks as much as she does, so she can lure the otherwise elusive members of the extended family. She loves to have her house full of people and what better way to do it than to feed them.

I looked out of the family room window and I could see that same tattered old Escort that Akina was driving pulling into the driveway. I felt my chest tighten as I tried to decide if this would be the best time to tell everyone the news. Kenny still hadn’t made it yet, but our guests were getting restless and were ready to eat. I hated making this kind of announcement without Kenny being here.  It made me feel like we were doing it behind his back.

I opened the door for Akina and immediately heads turned and stared at her. There were many people in the family who remembered her and just as many who believe that her child really is Allen’s because they say the child resembles the family. I could see her tense up and may have been feeling like she would be attacked.