Lazy Days (29 page)

Rising from the table, he said, "Have it
your way, son. Best finish your breakfast. We've got a full day ahead of
us." He looked at Abby. "Can I see you outside for a minute?"

"Of course." She grabbed her cape and
followed him onto the porch and around to the side of the house. Was he unhappy
about her interference with Luke? Just when she rounded the corner, he pulled
her into his embrace, planting a long kiss on her lips. Lifting his head
slightly, he asked, "So tell me why you're
really
smiling, Miz
Abby."

Happiness bubbled inside her and she placed her
arms around his neck. "I think you know."

"No, tell me."

"It's because you're buying fabric so
everyone can have new clothes."

Brant chuckled and placed his lips against her
ear and whispered, "And I thought it might have something to do with my
kisses."

"Well, maybe a little of that, too."

Walking her backwards, he pressed her against
the cabin and gently lifted her chin before covering her mouth with fervent
kisses. She moaned and clutched the fabric of his shirt. She loved the taste of
him. They heard the front door open and jumped apart.

Brant said with a smile tilting one side of his
mouth, "I'll see you…tonight." Stepping around her, he followed Luke
to the barn.

Abby spent the remainder of day recalling her
introduction into the intimacies of marriage. Muttering to herself, she asked, "Abby,
have you found your own happily-ever-after?"

Despite Luke's glowering presence, the next few
weeks became heaven on earth for Abby. Brant insisted that she move into his
room and, although it felt strange sharing a bedroom with a man, she welcomed
his presence, even longed for it. Gradually, he became more affectionate in
front of the children, lightly kissing her goodbye every morning. But at
night—how she longed for her nights with him—his passion knew no bounds, and
she found herself testing the limits of her own passion, doing things with a
man she would never have imagined as her former self—Abigail.

Winter set in and many evenings Brant and Abby
took turns reading stories to the children. On a blustery November night after
they'd tucked Ty and Jenny in and Luke had climbed to the loft, she teased
Brant, "In one of your letters, you said you were the son of a school
teacher. Were you the teacher's pet?"

He chuckled, "Definitely, not. My mother
went out of her way to make sure I never got preferential treatment. Even so, I
was too mischievous to become teacher's pet."

Abby reached to pet Wally stretched out before
the hearth and chanced another question. "Are your mother and father still
living?"

His expression turned sad. "I never knew my
father. He drowned shortly after I was born while fording a river after a heavy
rain. My mother was well educated, having been born in Boston to a wealthy
family. When she met my father, a cowpoke, and fell in love, her family cut
ties with her. She came out west with my father and settled in East Texas.
After a couple of years, I was born, and then she was alone after his death.
She refused to ask for charity from her estranged family, and when a teaching
position was advertised in Ft. Worth, she applied and got hired. She sold our
small place and taught in Ft. Worth until I was about eleven. Then she heard
about a school needing a teacher in Two Rivers. She said she was up for a
challenge and we moved here."

"She never remarried?"

"No. She had a few gentleman callers, but
she always told me she was a one-man woman, and no one could live up to my
pa."

Abby glanced at her lap, his words hitting close
to home and making her wonder if he was a one-woman man because he'd only
remarried out of necessity.

He continued, "My mother died when I was
twenty-one. Doc Henry said it was because she had a weak heart. We'd always
lived in a small house near town provided for her because she was the teacher.
After Molly and I married we lived with her while I worked cattle drives saving
money to buy my own place. When my mother died, doc gave me a letter she'd
written because she'd known her time was short. Seems she'd also been saving
for years for me to buy a ranch. I used the money we'd both saved and put a
down payment on this land." He turned quiet and reflective after that and
Abby almost wished she hadn't asked about his family. Unexpectedly, he said,
"What about your father and mother? You said they were older when you were
born."

"Yes, they were in their forties and never
expected to have a child after being married for twenty years with no children.
They were both teachers." She confided, "I wanted so much to have a
brother or sister. My childhood was very lonely. By the time I was a young woman,
both my parents' health had begun to fail. One of the reasons I became a
teacher, other than a love for children, was so I could help with family
finances. My father had a small inheritance that he supported the family with
after he became too ill to work, but by the time he died, it was all gone. The
only thing left was the house, which I still own."

After their confidences, they sat in silence,
listening to the crackle and fizz of the fire.

Whereas previously Abby had been teaching the
children at the kitchen table, she now set up a schoolroom in the bedroom she'd
vacated. Against Luke's protests, two hours were set aside each day for class
and the children did homework in the evenings. Brant and Luke built a table
long enough for Luke and Jenny to sit side by side, and the remaining wood
scraps were made into a tiny table and stool for Ty.

Once, when Abby had offered to give Brant all of
her savings to be used for the family, he'd adamantly refused. In fact, he'd
become downright irritated. He'd said a man provided for his family and not the
other way around. When she'd told him it wasn't much, he'd still refused. That
night, she'd had to kiss him back into a good mood. After that, she didn't
bring up the subject of money anymore.

So, when she needed a blackboard with erasers
and chalk for her little schoolroom, she'd given in to a spur of the moment
decision and told a white lie. She'd said she had a blackboard stored with a
friend in Philadelphia and was having it shipped, when, in actuality, she'd purchased
it and asked the storekeeper not to say anything because it was a surprise.
Now, plagued by guilt, her heart waged a war of whether to come clean with
Brant about her deception.

* * *

The swiftly approaching Christmas season had
Abby wondering what gift to give each family member. Because Brant didn't want
her using her money on the family, she couldn't just buy them gifts. Besides,
she wanted to create something with her own hands, showing each of them how
much she loved them. Shortly after her marriage she'd acknowledged to herself
that she cared deeply for Brant. From the beginning she'd loved his children,
but fear of losing her heart to a man who still loved his first wife had kept
her from giving it freely. After their intimacies, however, she could no longer
hold herself aloof. Whether he loved her or not, she loved him beyond measure.

After much consideration, she decided to knit
socks and scarves for everyone. When the children were asleep, she'd sit in the
rocker by the fire and work on her gifts while Brant worked on his ranch books
at the table. Often, she'd see worry lines crease the sides of his mouth, but
he never shared his worries with her.

Jenny began marking off the days until Christmas
and made everyone, even Luke, laugh at her enthusiasm.

A week before Christmas, Brant returned from
town with a large wrapped package. Standing on the porch, Abby took one look
and knew it was the chalkboard. Brant didn't look happy.

"Abby, can I see you a minute?"

She tried to swallow the lump in her throat.
"Of course."

He headed toward the barn and Abby handed Ty to
Jenny. Luke looked curiously from Abby to his father and then walked back in
the house.

When they reached the barn, Brant said softly,
"Why didn't you tell me you were buying a chalkboard? I saw the sales
ticket. You lied to me, Abby."

Abby berated herself for her foolishness in not
telling him. "I-I knew you didn't want me using my money for the family
and you need all of yours for running the ranch. I needed a chalkboard
and…" Her voice faltered. "I'm sorry I deceived you. It'll never
happen again."

Brant sighed. "How much money did you
spend? I'm going to repay you."

Abby gulped and defied him. "No, you're
not."

Brant furrowed his forehead. "Yes, I am.
How much do I owe you?"

His words stung and she said sharply, "I
can't believe you just said that. Do you think you
owe
me money? Have I
no participation in this family other than cooking and cleaning and satisfying
your man's desires?" She turned on her heel and started to walk swiftly away.

Brant stepped in front of her. "Abby, you
know that's not what I meant."

Tears stung her eyes and she blinked them back.
"No, I don't know that."

Her husband removed his hat and ran his fingers
through his hair. "Please don't put words in my mouth."

"Alright, I won't put words in your mouth
if you won't consider that you
owe
me something. What I do, I do freely
from my heart."

Brant settled his hat back on his head, puffed a
breath, and said quietly, "Fair enough. Just promise you'll come to me if
you need something else so we can talk about it." He reached and trailed
his fingers down her cheek.

"I promise."

Three days before Christmas, Brant said it was
time to go in search of the tree, and Jenny and Ty shouted their joy. While
Abby bundled them up, she grinned happily at Brant. Although he smiled back,
she recognized the familiar sadness in his eyes. With a wife's instinct, she
knew he was remembering Christmases with Molly. Swallowing the lump in her
throat, she pretended happiness for the sake of the children, realizing, once
again, she could never live up to the character of the beautiful woman who had
come before her. As usual, Luke joined them only when ordered by his father.

Traipsing over a dusting of snow, Jenny happily
led the way to one of the scraggly pine trees that grew in the area. She said
she'd had her eye on it since the beginning of December. Brant carried Ty on
his shoulders and Luke brought up the rear of their parade. When they reached
the tree, Jenny giggled. "See, it's perfect!"

Wally barked his agreement and Abby put her arm
around Jenny's shoulders. "You're right. It's going to make a beautiful
Christmas tree. We'll have so much fun decorating it."

"Oh, yes, Mama, I can't wait!"

Brant stopped in the midst of lifting his axe
and Luke made an unintelligible sound.

Abby whooshed into the frosty air. Turning her
head swiftly, she fingered tears from the corners of her eyes at hearing Jenny
call her Mama.

Brant swung the axe and asked Luke to carry the
tree back to the cabin. Silently, the boy tossed it over his shoulder and
walked swiftly ahead of everyone. Inside their home, he laid it against the
wall and then, at his father's request, went to the shed to make a stand to
nail it to.

After supper, Abby helped Jenny and Ty decorate
the tree with paper chains and dough ornaments they'd made. When Jenny asked
her father to bring out their other ornaments, he said quietly, "Not this
year."

"But Pa, they're so pretty."

"Not this year, Jenny."

After Abby tucked Ty and Jenny into bed and told
them a story, she walked back to an empty room, sadly looking at the tree. The
joy of the season had left with Brant's and Luke's sorrow. She wrapped herself
in a blanket and walked onto the porch to sit in one of the rockers and stare
at a cloudless night. Snow dustings gave the ranch an ethereal quality and she
lost herself in the beauty of nature.

When Brant walked over from the barn, he said,
"It's a beautiful night."

"Yes."

"Abby, I'm sorry about today. I know I
should be more into Christmas, but…"

"It's okay. I know you must be hurting
remembering other Christmases." Her voice cracked and she muffled a little
sob.

Immediately, Brant was at her side, kneeling
beside her. "Please don't cry. I'll be okay in a couple of days."

She sniffed and turned her head so he couldn't
see her tears. Unexpectedly, he stood and bent over her, picking her up and
carrying her into the house.

She laid her head on his shoulder.

He carried her to the bedroom and gently laid
her across the bed. "Let me kiss your tears away, sweetheart." Then
he proceeded to do just that for hours.

The day before Christmas, Abby walked into her
little schoolroom to find the book
Treasure Island
pushed into the
bookshelf Brant had relocated from the front room. She wondered when Luke had
returned it. Scanning the rest of her books, she noticed that
A Journey to
the Centre of the Earth
was missing. Perhaps her idea of reaching Luke
through books just might have a chance.

Christmas dawned to blue skies and Jenny was up
before daylight knocking on Brant and Abby's bedroom door. "Come in,"
he croaked sleepily.

"Pa, it's time to get up! It's Christmas!
Mama, I'll start getting Ty dressed. Hurry!"

Brant laughed and Abby thrilled at the sound.
True to his word, he seemed to have gotten over his melancholy mood. Abby
jumped from the bed, dressed quickly, and started a fire in the stove while
Brant stoked the one in the fireplace. Before long, the fragrant aroma of
coffee mingled with the scent of burning logs and the piney freshness of their
Christmas tree.

Abby and Jenny prepared a breakfast they'd been
planning for days and happiness radiated like warmth throughout the cabin. Even
Luke laughed when Ty made funny faces during their meal.

After cleaning the dishes, everyone settled
around the Christmas tree; the children on the floor and Brant and Abby in
rocking chairs. Wally stretched and rolled onto his back in front of the fire.

Quietness settled over the home as Brant opened
the family
Bible
and read the Christmas story proclaiming Glad Tidings
of Great Joy. Lifting Ty onto her lap, Abby brushed a tear at the beautiful
words and Jenny sat on the rag rug resting her head against Abby's thigh. Luke
pulled his knees to his chest and closed his eyes.

After the reading, Brant suggested they sing a
few carols and his baritone voice started off each song. At the end of the last
song, Abby sighed in heartfelt contentment.