Lead Me Home (21 page)

She waved a hand at him. “Carry on. You don’t have the foggiest idea what you’re talking about, but don’t let that stop you.” And the more he raved, the more she’d dig in her heels, and that should finally send him packing. It was the best thing for both of them, even if she felt as if she were performing open-heart surgery on herself without anesthetic.

“I don’t intend to stop talking, because I have to get this off my chest. You are without a doubt the most
stubborn
woman I’ve ever come across.”

She folded her arms. “I prefer to say that I know myself a lot better than you know me.”

“Why won’t you even consider my idea? Hell, if you’re half as good at banking as you are at preparing food, they’d be happy to rehire you if the traveling blog doesn’t work out.”

“Matthew, you are a traveling kind of person. It’s who you are. I am a stay-at-home kind of person. It’s—”

“Damn it, how do you
know?
You’ve never given the other kind of life a chance! Open up your eyes. It would be a perfect fit for you.”

“No, it would be a perfect fit for
you,
or at least you imagine it would be, once you got me trained like you train a horse. But I’m not a horse, Matthew. You’re wonderful at getting them to do what you want them to do, but those techniques won’t work on me.”

“I’m not trying to—oh, forget it.” He climbed out of bed and began searching for his clothes. “You’ve made up your mind that it won’t work, and the more I try to convince you that it will, the harder you’ll argue. God, you’re stubborn.”

She sensed the crack opening up in her heart. It went right down the middle and soon she’d begin to feel the excruciating pain of losing him. Except she’d never really had him.

She’d wanted him to give up the notion they could travel together as a couple, and judging from the way he was stomping around and gathering his things, she’d succeeded. Someday he might be grateful to her for averting a disaster they’d both heartily regret. She’d never even been on a plane, let alone jetted around the world.

Right now, though, he was thoroughly pissed at her. He obviously wasn’t used to a lack of cooperation. Maybe anger was a better emotion to take away with him than sadness, anyway.

“I’ll stay in the bunkhouse tonight.” His tone was carefully controlled. “It’s possible I might be able to fly out tomorrow. I just have one more thing to accomplish with Houdini.”

“Semen collection?”

“Yep.” Duffel bag in hand, he paused at the bedroom door. “Listen, if you ever change your mind…”

“I won’t.”

“I know you won’t, but if a miracle happens and you rethink this, Sarah has my cell phone number.”

She didn’t reply. She was too busy memorizing how he looked standing there in the doorway so she’d have that picture to carry locked in her broken heart.

“Goodbye, Aurelia.”

She lifted a hand and gave him a little wave. Her throat had such a big lump in it she wouldn’t have been able to speak even if she’d wanted to, which she didn’t. Although she’d helped shove him out the door, she couldn’t bear to say goodbye.

* * *

I
T SEEMED AS IF EVERYTHING
conspired to help Matthew get the hell out of Dodge. Houdini performed like an experienced stud the next morning, which Clay credited to yesterday’s run through the meadow having worked off his bottled-up energy. Jack took Houdini on a short ride and pronounced him fit for training as a cutting horse.

Matthew’s work was done, and he had no wish to hang around. When he’d returned to the bunkhouse the night before, the card game had still been in progress. The cowhands had plied Matthew with beer in an attempt to lighten the mood when they realized he’d ended things with Aurelia.

The attempt had been a dismal failure, and now the guys probably felt sorry for him. He was afraid to ask if he’d called out Aurelia’s name in the middle of the night. It wouldn’t have surprised him if he had.

Her rejection had carved a hunk out of him and he wasn’t sure how soon he’d be back to normal. Maybe never. He might always long for her touch, her laughter and the lush feel of her body under his. He couldn’t imagine himself with anyone else.

Late that morning, he avoided having to go in for lunch by asking Jeb to drive him to the airport. Jeb did his best to make conversation during the trip, but Matthew had trouble holding up his end, so it was a mostly silent ride. Matthew had let everyone think he’d booked a flight, but it wasn’t true. His next job, at an estate outside London, didn’t start for two weeks, so he had time on his hands and nowhere in particular to go.

After Jeb dropped him at the airport in Jackson, he located a rental counter and reserved an SUV for a week. Might as well drive the two hundred miles or so to Billings and check on his parents’ gravesites. He hadn’t done that in a while, and the drive would allow him some thinking time.

In the back of his mind lurked another motivation for staying in the general area. A small flame of hope still burned. Before she left Wyoming, Aurelia might come to her senses and give him a shot. If she did, and his cell phone rang, he didn’t want to be far away.

He arrived at the cemetery in the middle of the afternoon. Parking the SUV, he walked between the rows of markers set flush with the grass until he found the two he was looking for. The grass was manicured and the headstones clear of debris, so apparently the management was living up to its promise of perpetual care.

Matthew had thought of bringing flowers, but knew they’d die quickly in the heat. He stood silently gazing down at the two engraved markers. His memory of his mother was dim and consisted mostly of the pictures he still had of her. But his father’s image was clear.

The guy had done his level best to carry on after Matthew’s mother died, but he’d struggled. Chain-smoking had been his crutch, and eventually it had killed him. Matthew had always wondered if his dad had secretly looked forward to the day he would end up here next to his wife.

Eloisa Ann Tredway, beloved wife of John Matthew Tredway, was etched into the granite on Matthew’s left, and the reverse, John Matthew Tredway, beloved husband of Eloisa Ann Tredway, was on the right.

Beloved.
Matthew had never quite grasped the numbing heartache his father must have felt when his wife died. And although leaving Aurelia was not even close to the same kind of tragedy, he understood his dad’s grief a little better now.

No wonder his father hadn’t been able to provide a sense of home and security. His wife’s death had ended any dreams he’d had of those things. Matthew had learned early that he could survive without a warm family life and had eventually replaced any lingering feelings of emptiness with work and travel.

Until he’d met Aurelia, he’d never thought in terms of home and permanence for himself. Maybe a part of him had feared he’d end up blindsided like his father. He still couldn’t picture himself settling down in one spot, but he desperately wanted to settle down with one woman.

He understood that happiness was never guaranteed, but that didn’t mean he shouldn’t reach for it, which meant reaching for Aurelia. Being with her felt like coming home after years of restless wandering. Whether she wanted to or not, she’d become his beloved.

His head snapped up as it suddenly occurred to him that he’d neglected to tell her that. It might not have made any difference, with her being so stubbornly set in her belief they couldn’t have a life together. But he should have told her he loved her. And he hadn’t.

16

T
HE DAY
A
UNT
M
ARY
L
OU
and her new husband Watkins were due back, Aurelia moved her things out of the bedroom and into a room upstairs. She’d sleep there tonight, and the next day someone would drive her to the airport, so she’d packed everything except a nightgown, her traveling clothes and her toiletries.

The cards that Matthew had accidentally left behind were carefully tucked into a corner of her suitcase. Every night she’d played solitaire with them. Maybe that was pathetic, but handling the cards made her feel a little closer to him, and she missed him more than she ever would have thought she’d miss anyone.

Getting back into her routine at home would help, but she didn’t kid herself that she’d be over him in no time. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be over Matthew, but being at the ranch with all its memories of him definitely made things worse for her.

She washed the sheets and was planning to clean the bathroom and vacuum, but Pete Beckett had finally talked Sarah into hiring a housekeeper. Keri, a cheerful brunette about Aurelia’s age, insisted on handling the final cleanup of Mary Lou’s apartment.

Aurelia was upstairs when she heard Sarah call out “They’re here!” Aurelia bounded down the stairs, eager to hear how her aunt had survived the trip. She expected woeful tales of the rigors of travel. Aurelia’s mother, Mary Lou’s sister, had asked for a full report on just how bad the experience had been.

Mary Lou came through the door glowing with happiness. She’d acquired a tan, and she’d never looked better. Even her hair was styled differently. Watkins and Jack followed with the suitcases, and there were several of them.

Watkins, a barrel-chested man with a handlebar mustache, beamed at everyone. “Great trip,” he said. “Outstanding.”

Aurelia hugged her aunt and waited for the disclaimer.

It never came. Mary Lou raved about the entire experience. At first Aurelia thought her aunt might just be saying she’d loved the honeymoon to spare her new husband’s feelings. But as the family gathered in the living room to hear the details of the trip, Aurelia finally realized that her aunt wasn’t faking. She’d had the time of her life.

The homecoming celebration moved into the cocktail hour, which included substantial munchies that Sarah and Aurelia had made instead of a formal sit-down dinner. Soon the living room was packed with all ages, from the seven teenagers in residence to the members of the Chance family, including the two Chance grandchildren: Sarah Bianca, a toddler who was into everything, and Archie was still a baby who hadn’t yet begun to crawl.

It was bedlam, but a happy kind of bedlam. For the first time since Aurelia had arrived, all members of the family were together, and the chaos helped her forget, for a little while, that she had a permanently broken heart. Much of the talk centered on Jack’s half brother Wyatt and the wedding coming up at the end of August.

Wyatt’s father and twin brother, Rafe, had promised to come, but Diana, mother to Wyatt and Rafe as well as Jack, hadn’t committed. Aurelia hoped to get time off so she could help with the cooking. She was intensely curious about a woman who could run off to San Francisco and leave a toddler behind. Besides, thinking about Jack, Wyatt, Rafe and Diana distracted her from her own troubles.

Then Mary Lou found a moment to draw her into a corner of the room, away from the chaos. “What’s this I hear about you and the horse trainer?”

So much for forgetting about Matthew. Aurelia felt her cheeks grow warm. “It was nothing, Aunt Mary Lou. A temporary fling. I promise I didn’t let it interfere with my job. In fact, Matthew helped me improve my job performance.”

“Heavens, Aurelia, I’m not worried about whether he kept you from doing your job. I know you better than that. But what happened? Everyone thought you two made the perfect couple, and then bam, it was over.”

“We aren’t right for each other. He’s a world traveler, and I’m not into that. It would never have worked out with me wanting to stay home and him constantly on the go.”

Mary Lou’s eyes narrowed. “You sound
exactly
like your mother.”

Aurelia was taken aback by her aunt’s tone. “Not surprising, I suppose. She is the one who gave birth to me.”

“And passed on the prejudices that we inherited from your grandparents. One bad train trip, and they refused to travel ever again.”

“But then my parents ended up in a burning hotel room.”

Mary Lou shrugged. “Stuff happens.”

“And don’t forget my aunt and uncle’s horrible car trip to St. Louis.”

“Those two.” Mary Lou rolled her eyes. “I swear they still subscribed to the flat-earth theory. They thought if they traveled too far in one direction, they’d fall right off. Plop. Done.”

Aurelia glanced at her aunt’s empty wineglass and concluded that her aunt’s tongue might be a little looser than usual. “You don’t seem to subscribe to the flat-earth theory.”

“Not anymore, but I was a card-carrying member until Watkins dragged me on to this cruise.” She wagged a finger at Aurelia. “You’ve been sold a bill of goods, niece of mine. Travel is
great
.”

“Really?”

“Really. I can’t believe all the years I’ve wasted thinking there was nothing worth seeing that required a plane ride, or a train ride or a boat ride. It’s a smorgasbord out there, Aurelia, and if you have someone who’s offered you a seat at the table, you need to grab that chair.”

“But…but, I’d have to quit my job, and get a passport and sublet my apartment, and—”

“Details. Does he want to take you with him?”

“Yes.” He’d begged her, in fact.

“Then you would be a fool not to accept, Aurelia Imogene. Can you still get ahold of him, or has he gone off on another trip?”

“He said I could call his cell.” Aurelia’s heart kicked into high gear. “Sarah has the number.”

“Then what the hell are we waiting for, girl?” Mary Lou raised her voice. “Sarah, can you get this horse-trainer fellow on the phone? My niece needs to talk to him.”

Sarah looked startled, but she put down her wine immediately and headed down the hall toward her bedroom. “Come with me, Aurelia,” she called over her shoulder. “I’m sure you’d like a little privacy, so make the call from my room.”

“He’s probably left the country by now,” Aurelia said as she caught up with Sarah. “I might wake him up if he’s in Europe somewhere.”

Sarah walked into her bedroom and picked up the cell phone lying on her nightstand. “If he feels about you the way I think he does, he won’t mind if you wake him up.” She pushed a couple of buttons and handed the phone to Aurelia. “It’s ringing. Good luck.” Then she walked out of the room.