Learning the Hard Way (14 page)

Each day after that painful call to Troy felt like another piece of Ava’s heart had been chipped away. What could she do? Even though she ached to be with him, she knew better.

No more students, no more co-workers, and definitely no more players. Although Troy professed his innocence in his apparent career, how could she believe him? This was the same man who had promised to keep their date a secret the night of the party. If she trusted him then, why couldn’t she trust him now? After everything that had happened, why hadn’t he hung her out to dry and told the university department head about their encounter? Could he be trusted?

It didn’t matter. Now that it was the final day of class, Ava could get Troy out of her life. But was that what she really wanted? Hell, for that matter, did she really want the department head position?

Change scared her spitless, changes in her personal life and her career. The woman who once had control over everything in her life now felt so helpless.

No time to think about that now. Ava glanced at her watch, then looked at the chair that Troy normally occupied. His chair was empty and the exam was about to start in one minute. Had he given up on her since she gave up on him? Thinking about that possibility tightened her throat as she handed out test booklets. By the time she got to the furthest row where Troy normally sat, he rushed through the door and took his seat.

“You almost missed the exam, Mr. Whitten.” She maintained eye contact with him. “After all of your hard work this semester, I would hate to see you blow it all away by missing this final test.” She placed a booklet on his desk.

“I wouldn’t miss this for anything.” He glared at her. “Have to put a period on things, right?”

She ignored his comment and went back to her desk to get the exam. “You’ll have the full two hours and forty-five minutes to take the test. There is no talking. Be sure cell phones and all other electronic devices are off or on silent. I don’t even want to hear them vibrate.”

Clicks, whistles, beeps and tinkling little songs sounded after her announcement as students turned off their devices. Ava watched Troy. He never moved. Either Troy already had his phone off, he didn’t have it with him or he just didn’t care anymore.

She hoped it wasn’t the latter choice. “You may begin.”

Although she tried not to, Ava couldn’t help but stare at Troy as he took his test. He kept his head down the whole time, concentrating hard. She’d watched him when he’d taken her other exams and usually he licked the side of his mouth throughout the test. Even though they didn’t explore fooling around more in her office again, it didn’t keep her from imagining his mouth on her again, exploring her sexual core with his long, masterful tongue.

She crossed her legs as she sat behind her desk. This would be the longest three hours of her life.

* * * *

Ava split her attention between the two remaining students in her class; one was Troy. He lifted his head one time to glance around the classroom, assess the situation. When he noticed the other student sitting in the back, Troy returned his attention to his test booklet, making it obvious he wanted to be the last one to leave, the last one to capture Ava’s attention. Knowing that he wanted to talk to her kicked up a fluttering feeling in her midsection.

Ava glanced at her watch. “Time, gentlemen. Pens down and bring your tests to me.” She stood and waited for the men to hand them their papers. The one in the back of the class stood first. He raced to the front and handed her the blue booklet. The young man mumbled something about the test being harder than he imagined.

When he disappeared, she brought her attention to Troy. He rose from his chair and slung his backpack over one shoulder. As much as she tried to fight it, Ava couldn’t help but notice how wonderful he looked in his jeans and white t-shirt.

Beyond her control, she licked her lips. The motion halted his trek for a moment. Rendering him motionless even for a split second concerned her. He had to let her go. She’d done the same for him…almost.

Troy handed his test to her.

“Thank you.” Ava stuffed all of the tests into her briefcase. “Results will be posted within three days.”

An uncomfortable silence lingered between them.

“For what it’s worth,” he began, “I enjoyed your class.”

“And you were a great student. Engaging.” She smoothed her hand over her hair. “A professor’s dream.” She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry nothing else could work out for us.”

“Funny about ethics to some people.” He adjusted his bag on his shoulder. “It’s a lot like religion. You adjust what’s right and wrong based on how it suits you.”

“Troy, I—”

“I never lied to you. I’m not who you think I am. I told the truth at the party. I run a contracting business. I’m going to school to become a teacher. And, again, I lose a woman over trust issues.”

Even if Ava wanted to argue his claim, she couldn’t at the moment. Her throat closed so tight, not even air would pass. Her itchy eyes focused long enough to watch him walk away. As soon as he disappeared from sight, she collapsed in her chair.

For the second time in a matter of months, Ava lost her man. The first one wasn’t worth pining over. But Troy, just as he said before, was exceptional. He made her think and feel differently. What the hell would she do now?

Ava raised her fist to knock on Troy’s door for the fourth time. What would he do when he saw her a week after taking his exam? She swallowed and steeled her nerves to knock on the door.

She rapped softly, then with more force. Within a few seconds, his door opened. Standing on the other side was an attractive man Ava had never seen before. His clothes looked like something her male students would wear, but his face had a maturity to it, evident by the lines around his eyes and on his forehead.

“Yeah, hotness?” he said to her.

“I’m looking for Troy Whitten. Is he home?” She tried peering over his shoulder and around him but the man blocked the doorway.

“Maybe. Who’s asking?” He raised his eyebrows. “Are you the woman who’s been giving my man the fits lately?”

“What?”

A hard shove from behind him knocked the man out of the doorway. Behind him now stood Troy.

He stared at her for a second before speaking. “What are you doing here?”

“I thought I would bring over your graded exam. Of course you passed with flying colors.” Ava handed him his test booklet with a large, red letter “A+” on the cover. “I especially enjoyed your essay on the ethics in prostitution, how hypocritical lawmakers are in how they’ll allow people to sell their bodily organs or be a surrogate and carry another woman’s baby, but not sell their body for pleasure. You would make a great lawyer.”

“I have no designs on law. I want to be a teacher.” His stoic expression clearly conveyed his intent.

Deep in her heart, she knew he told her the truth about wanting to become a teacher. She saw the same genuine desire in his eyes to teach that she had before becoming a professor. That connection drew her to him and made her miss him every day.

“I know.” She stepped into his house. When he didn’t block her or ask her to leave, she decided to press her luck and go for a more physical connection. “I think it’s great.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “And I’m keeping my promise. You passed my course. Now we can go out, that’s if you’ll still have me.”

Troy stared at her for a moment, leaving his arms dangling by his sides. When he didn’t move, Ava decided she needed to stop making a fool of herself and leave. He obviously no longer desired her like she wanted him.

Ava started to release her hold on him when Troy swept her up into his arms and swung her around the room. “You do not know how much I wanted to hear that from you.” He set her down and stared directly into her eyes. “Are you sure?”

Ava nodded.

With one hand around her waist and the other behind her head, he smothered her in a breathtaking kiss. Her heart soared. The longer she stayed away from Troy, the more miserable she’d become until her misery turned into something physical and she felt nauseous.

Denying herself happiness made no sense. She could make a relationship work with Troy. She’d managed to be with Anson for a while before finally ending the union due to his lack of commitment.

Troy matched sexual intensity with Richard, but Troy had passion. He cared for Ava, a feeling Ava never had with Richard.

Troy pushed Ava into agreeing to have more of a commitment. That desire alone topped Anson’s lack of passion.

By her assessment, Troy bested both men in every way. Why was she fighting being with him? Well, there was one thing. With what Ava tolerated in the past, his profession was the least of her worries, especially since he had a nobler, ultimate goal for his future.

As long as she had her man, nothing else mattered—not the job, not work, nothing.

“Whoa, you two need to get a room or something.”

She turned to the man behind her who had just spoken, the same one who’d answered the door.

“Have you forgotten that this is my house?” Troy wrapped his arm around her waist then kissed her temple.

“Fine, I’ll go. It’s just good to see you serious with someone again.” Troy’s friend stared at her. “And she is a fox.”

“Hey, easy now.” Troy squeezed a possessive arm around her.

“I’m glad we’ve settled our issues.” Ava held him around his waist. “I could care less what he does for a living, so long as he brings all of his loving home to me.” She craned her head up to kiss him but felt resistance when Troy put his hands on her shoulders to push her back and leaned his head away from her.

“Wait. What do you mean? You don’t like contractors now?” he asked.

She laughed, accompanying it with a snort. “No.” She split her gaze between Troy and his friend. “You know. The other thing you do.”

“Dude, you introduced her to your
other
side? Way to go.” Troy’s friend held his hand in the air to give Troy a high five, but Troy kept his full concentration on Ava.

“I did, but I don’t think she’s talking about that, are you?” Troy regarded her for a moment before an idea hit him. Troy removed her arms from around him. “You still think I’m an escort, don’t you?”

“I don’t care, Troy. I know you’re a good man. I can learn to accept whatever it is that you do.”

“You think
he’s
an escort?” Troy’s friend covered his mouth like he wanted to suppress a smile or laugh.

Troy let her go and walked to his door. “If you still don’t believe me, there really is nothing between us.” He kept his head down, only connecting his gaze with hers when she didn’t move. “Please leave.”

Ava’s insides dropped to the floor. Her heart must have stopped at some point, but her feet propelled her to the door. To be ejected from his life, his heart, hurt more than she imagined. Without a word, she walked out, left the only man who stimulated her, mind, body and soul.

* * * *

“Dude, she was willing to accept you even though she thinks you get paid to take women out. And she’s hot. Why would you give her up?” Gross scratched his head.

“It’s like the reverse of Meredith. Meredith thought I was cheating on her when I wasn’t. Now Ava thinks I’m an escort and she won’t believe me when I tell her the truth. I can’t deal with that. If I’m going to be with someone, she has to trust me. She has to believe me.” Troy sat behind his desk and stared through his window into his empty backyard. “And I am not an escort. My one and only date just walked out.”

“You are so full of it. We all lie. We all believe something that’s not true. I tell women I’m in my thirties. So what? Some of them tell me they’re single and hide their wedding rings when they think I’m not looking. You probably believe something about her that’s not necessarily true. Maybe she’s not as together as you think.”

“To me, she is.”

“And to her, it doesn’t matter what it is that you do. What woman is willing to do that?” Gross walked over to Troy and put his hand on Troy’s shoulder. “Maybe you need to come down off your high horse and recognize love when you see it. That woman is crazy about you.”

Troy was crazy about her. Now that he had asked her to leave, how could he ask her to come back to him? How could he right his wrongs?

“Fuck.”

* * * *

“He asked you to leave? That mother fucker.” Dina slammed her fist onto the table.

“I told you that you shouldn’t have gone out with an escort.” Vonda shook her head.

“Don’t worry about it, Doc.” Dina crossed her arms over her chest. “He was your rebound man anyway. This is what we’re going to do now. You’re going to—”

“Stop.” Ava brought her hands in the air. “That’s enough. Look, I love you guys. But so far all I’ve done in the last few months is have my every decision made by committee, from my love life to my job. Before Richard, I had a mind of my own. I still have a brain.” She let out a long breath. “Somewhere along the line, I lost my ability to trust my instincts.” She slammed her napkin onto the table and stood. “I don’t want to be a department head.”

Dina started to open her mouth. This time Ava stopped her.

“It’s a great job. And I know I’m perfect for it. I just don’t want the responsibility right now. I’m not ready for it. Plus, the one thing Troy did show me was how much he really wants to teach. He renewed that passion in me, made me remember why I wanted to teach in the first place.”

“Okay, so you’ve figured out what you want out of your career.” Vonda glanced at Ava, then Dina. “What else?”

Ava tossed her napkin on the table. “I’m going after that man. I don’t care if he slams the door in my face ten million times. I’ll deserve that and more for what I did to him.”

“And what, exactly, did you do to him other than rock his world?” Dina cocked her head back.

“I doubted him. Deep down in my heart, I knew he couldn’t have been an escort. I kept thinking that I must attract players like Richard, so I put him in that category and kept him there.” She turned to the door. “I just hope I’m not too late.”