Learning to Drown (10 page)

His lips came down on my belly and he
kissed me right above the swell of my sex. Soft, teasing kisses that had me
thrashing in his bonds. Lucas’s own little personal marionette, bouncing
around. Wishing, praying and hoping his lips would move lower. Part my nether
lips, suck my clit, make me come with long laps of his tongue. “I’m impressed,”
he said and kissed a fraction of an inch lower.

I whimpered. Such a cowardly,
powerless sound but I let it loose like a whispered supplication. His mouth on
me felt almost too good. His kisses a heady blend of Heaven and Hell. I needed
him lower. I had never needed to come more in my life than during that small
blink in time. Trapped in the sexual equivalent of a fever dream. Time was
elastic, pain and pleasure merged so one was indecipherable from the other. I
bucked and Lucas put his hands on the angles of my hipbones, pinning me tight.
Holding my pelvis to the bed with his muscular forearms. “You need to be still.
Do. Not. Move.”

I obeyed though it seemed impossible.
Tranquil on the surface, I focused on simply drawing air. His tongue swept over
my clit, licked the wet seam of me. His licks grew harder and his finger fanned
over the sharp rise of my hipbones. His tanned hands standing out boldly
against my pale white flesh. He held me down so tight, I could not move.
Helpless, I wanted to promise him anything, anything at all, if he would make
me come.

I forced the babbling down in my
throat and watched his blonde head between my legs as he forced the rigid tip
of his tongue inside of me. His tongue fucked me slow and lazy until I was
weeping with desperation. “I didn’t think you could do ten,” Lucas said,
raising his head and staring at me. Taking note of the tears, he asked almost
kindly. “How bad?”

I shrugged, denying myself complaint.
He would fuck me or he wouldn’t. He would let me come or he wouldn’t. If I was
going to do this
¾
be at his mercy
¾
then
I needed to do it completely. I stayed silent as tears continued to roll and my
chest hitched with emotion.

“Cat got your tongue?” He grinned.
“Tell me. That’s not a request.” Before I could speak he pushed his fingers
inside of me and touched the evidence of my want. His fingers made slippery
silver sounds inside of me when he thrust.

“Bad,” I stammered. My teeth and lips
wanted to chatter from my attempt at control.

“A little reward then. For doing so
well your first time. Your ass is red and pink and tomorrow some blue and
purple for fun. You did extremely well for a beginner. For that I’ll reward
you.”

My heart warmed, tingled. Nearly
lightheaded with gratitude I said, “Thank you.”

Lucas forced my legs apart, pushed his
cock to my belly and rested it there. Watching me. His tan face flushed and
darkly stubbled. He rubbed his cock on my belly, pressing the back of his dick
to my clit when he thrust. Faux sex. He slid along the top of my split, fucking
me without entering me. My pulse pounded as I suppressed the urge to beg.

Then I remembered. “Thank you,
Sir
.
Thank you.” A few more tears.  He wiped them off.

“Enough of that,” he said. and pushed
into me with one long thrust. His cock stretched me, filled me. I was falling,
tipping back through the mattress like falling into the ocean from a cliff. At
least it felt that way. Lucas watched me, not smiling.

Being under his eyes was like being
pinned naked to a wall. Or put in a shop window without a stitch of clothes.
I’d never felt more naked than when I watched him drink me in, studying my
face, reading my mind. Lucas moved over me, his belly brushing mine as he
thrust. My cunt grew taut and eager and I shut my eyes to feel him better.

“Open your eyes, September,” he said,
the intimate feel of his breath in my ear.I forced them open, letting his gaze
penetrate me as surely as his cock did. His chest warm against my breasts as he
moved slow. Fucked me slow and easy, each inch he thrust generated a mile of
pleasure. His movements drawn out so I felt a crawling restlessness in my
chest. Lucas slid his hands under my bottom, pushing his fingertips against
that tender welted skin. Yanking me up to him even as he pushed into me. His
eyes stayed on mine
¾
curious, dark
¾
thoroughly
unnerving. I shut my eyes without thinking.

His movements slowed and my eyes flew
open. “That was a reminder. If you don’t listen, you don’t come. And you are
right there, right on that edge, my girl, aren’t you?”

I nodded, my cunt tight and slippery
on the cusp of the first sweet spasm that would bring me pleasure and relief.
“I’m sorry.”

His hips moved faster, he slid deeper.
When his eyes grew darker I knew Lucas was right there with me. He’d probably
never admit it but my body twisted with satisfaction to know it.

“I want to watch you the first time I
take you. The first time I fuck you and make you come. I want to see that
because you’re mine now,” he said. His lips so near my skin I could feel them
even though they weren’t touching me. His energy meshing with mine as his hips
pistoned faster. I came on the word
mine
. A perfect, fierce orgasm that
pin wheeled lower and lower in my body like a falling star. I shook under him.
He felt so big to me then. I cried out, failing his order of stillness miserably. 

Lucas kept his head tucked against my
throat, his teeth homed in there. Sharp and intense but not breaking my skin.
His fingers pulled at my sore bottom and his cock slammed into me harder and
harder still. Lucas hitched my legs up higher, tilting my pelvis, moving me
like his own living breathing doll. His thumb found my clit and circled until
shocked and breathless, I came again. His eyes watched me, a human lie detector
I couldn’t fool. “Good girl,” he said. “You’re a fast learner. Dirty little
slut,” he said and a final aftershock of pleasure rocked through me. This time,
Lucas came with me.

* * * *

I didn’t know what to expect. What
would he do? With Damien it had been scripted. He would ‘steal’ me, then fuck
me and then we’d have dinner or watch a movie. It was nothing but fluff. This
time, it had all been real. I was really tied up, he had really spanked me. I
really felt that spark of warmth and intensity in my belly and pussy and heart
when Lucas Crow said
mine
. I waited, listening to his heart beat. He
laid still, pressed to me so each beat of his heart pounded through me. In
tandem with my own heart.

He kissed me. It was a soft kiss but
his stubble scraped my skin. His hands tangled in my hair and tugged at my face
to pull me closer. If I weren’t bound, I would have touched his face too.
Memorized the planes of his features. The sharp places and the soft ones. I
started to speak but he shushed me.

“I’m going to leave you now till
morning. It’s not far off, but you need to go to sleep and remember I’m right
next door. And Daisy is right there.” He nodded to the doorway where the beast
could be heard but only her paws were visible.

I was used to a shower, at least a
chance to use the bathroom. That wasn’t up to me this time. Lucas had decided I
would go to sleep. I could live with that, but my heart hurt to think of him
leaving me all over again.

He read my mind like he always seemed
to do. “I want you to sleep. I’ll let you up when dawn breaks  and you can use
the bathroom. Go to sleep, Ember,” he said and covered me with a quilt.

I didn’t balk, though my nature was to
do so. This is what he wanted me to do, it was what I would do. Period. I shut
my eyes, knowing I would never ever sleep. But I would try. I was still
aroused, had to pee, my ass stung and I kept playing it all in my head over and
over and over again. Lucas fucking me. Saying
mine
. No, I would never
fall asleep. I focused on the steady thump of blood in my welted, tender bottom
and somehow fell asleep counting the heartbeats that pounded in my skin.

Chapter 11

“Time to get up,” he said. His voice
sandpaper and broken glass. I opened my eyes to him and smiled. Lucas smiled
back and untied my wrists. My ankles were already free, the covers bunched
around my middle, a blue hill of cotton. “I’m sure you need to use the toilet
and would kill me for a shower if I let you close enough.”

When he grinned at me it went straight
to my pussy. Lucas smelled shower fresh and his face was shaved smooth. I
wanted to touch it but didn’t reach out. His hair, damp and a bit too long fell
in his eyes. And the eyes themselves flashed as dark and rich as my usual
morning coffee. Coffee I was already craving intensely.

“I wouldn’t kill you but I’d beg,” I
said. I sat up, rubbed my wrists. No marks but my shoulders ached dully from
the constant bit of tension. I was already wet from his close proximity. I
could feel my insides, wet and swollen and still tender from the night before.
He watched me suffer all of those thoughts and I blushed at my choice of words.
But it was true. I would beg him.

“I like the sound of that.” He touched
my bottom lip. His finger smelled like soap and coffee. My stomach rumbled.
Lucas pushed his finger into my mouth, moving slow, stroking my tongue like it
was my cunt. A lazy warmth filled my pelvis. I felt like I was glowing. I
sucked his finger, swirling my wet tongue along the length, when he shut his
eyes for just a beat, I sucked harder. “I like the sound of that very much but
you need to go wash up and I’m going to feed you. You need food for fuel. And
coffee, really strong coffee.”

I sucked again and grinned around his
probing finger. “Coffee?” I moaned like I was mid-orgasm. Lucas laughed.

“Hot, strong and black as sin. Waiting
just for you. Go get washed up and I’ll make sure you have as much as you can
stand when you come down.”

I stumbled to the bathroom, sleep
deprived but happy. My bare feet cold on the hardwood floor, my steps a whisper
on the bare planks. The bathroom was lit with sunshine that filtered through a
sky light. A butter yellow light in the stark black and white room. His sweats
and a new tee were on the toilet tank. A pair of socks. A comb. I didn’t think
I’d ever stop peeing but when I finally did, I stood under the hot shower spray
letting the water beat the sleep knots out of my muscles. I worked the fuck
knots out of my hair with conditioner.

If I closed my eyes I could still feel
his finger on my tongue, a phantom touch. I wasn’t nearly as nervous as maybe I
should be. Who knew what the day would bring. Would he tie me back up? Was I
spending the day thrashed to his guest bed? Inside was so much at once
-
curiosity,
terror, elation.

I touched my tender butt cheek, the
skin slightly warm under my fingers. I pushed my fingers on the flushed skin, feeling
the bite of a deep bruise. I turned off the shower, dried off, tried to wipe
the mirror. Mainly, I smeared it. But even my smudged and humid reflection was
the mottled bruise of his marks on my skin. He had marked me. I was marked by
Lucas Crow. Was there any walking away from it now?

* * * *

He greeted me with a steaming mug off
coffee, fried eggs, scrapple, bacon, fresh fruit and cottage cheese. “I thought
you might be hungry. I know I was starving. Ate two plates full.“ When Lucas
spoke I had to touch the table to keep from feeling floaty. His voice did odd
things to me. Everyone has a trigger. Mine was the sound of his voice like
pebbles under my feet at the ocean. His voice never failed to make my body
respond. “I am famished. I could eat all of this and start over again, I
think.” I kept my voice soft. I barely heard myself even though the house was
quiet.

“Are you afraid of me?”

The question startled me and I looked
up from my plate before I’d even tucked in. “No. Not in a classic sense. I don’t
think I’m afraid of you so much as…”

He waited. That trait, alone was
admirable to me. I could never manage that psychologist’s tool of quietude.
Patience was a virtue, but it was not
my
virtue.

“Respectful of your power.” There.
That was the best way I could put it.

He seemed pleased. Which pleased me.
And I noted here I was at ground zero. Wondering why the fuck I really cared if
Lucas Crow approved of my feelings, thoughts, or reactions. And yet I did. I
really, really did and that freaked me out a bit. Luckily, I was too hungry and
too desperate for caffeine to let the confusion bog down my brain.

I pushed half a piece of bacon into my
mouth and added two teaspoons of sugar and a splash of cream to my coffee.
Swallowing the bacon, I sipped the still too-hot coffee and gave a damn near
orgasmic moan. “Did you know you make the best coffee in the world?”

He grinned at me, straightening his
place mat and then mine. “It’s the brand. Dave’s. Dave’s Coffee. The best
Baltimore can bring.”

“It is divine. And you’re a hell of a
cook, too. I can burn some toast. Hell, I can burn  some water, but as far as
cooking actual non burnt things, I have issues.”

“Who put you in charge of way too much
for your soul to bear, September?”

He spit it out just like that and I
stopped, an unchewed piece of scrapple in my mouth. Anger rose in me, harsh and
fast. Red and bright like a shot gun flaring in the dark. “Who
took
your
power?” I hissed. The anger was not to be reasoned with and though I recognized
him at this point as my Dominant, my rage had teeth and moved fast.