Learning to Forgive (6 page)

Molly
leaned over cutting off his words. “Don’t even think of that, David. I’m not
going anywhere.” She kissed his cheek then settled back into the chair. The
television in the corner was playing all by itself. “Are you going to watch
that?” she asked.

“Nope,
I’m happy looking at you.” She turned back to him to see his gaze was on her. A
blush filled her cheeks making him smile.

“After
all this time, I can still make you blush.”

“You
were always good at it. Nothing you said could stop that.” She chuckled then
brushed off a piece of fabric on her clothes. They’d been together twenty-five
years, and she felt like she was in the room with a stranger. David was the
love of her life even if she wasn’t his. Over the years she’d accepted that
fate. Why was she behaving like he was a stranger?

“Come
here, Molly,” he said.

Molly
looked at him. He was stroking the bed. She shook her head. “You need your
rest.”

“I
haven’t rested in months. Do you know why?” he asked.

She
shook her head. Molly was starting to realise that there was a lot of stuff she
didn’t know.

“Because
the woman I’ve slept next to for the last twenty-five years decided to sleep in
one of the guest bedrooms. I haven’t slept properly in months. Please, come
here.”

Her
sleep hadn’t been perfect either. David was her comforter and always had been.
He held her through the nightmares she’d suffered. When the moon was full in
the sky they would lie in each other’s arms and talk. It was at those moments
where Molly thought they could get past all of their problems.

She
stood up, removed her shoes, and climbed onto the bed next to him. His arm went
underneath her head. He pulled the blanket over the pair of them. At first she
was tense. Two to three months of being alone had made it awkward. The bed was
only single, and it was a tighter fit. She felt him surround her like so many
times before. Molly closed her eyes relishing the feel of him. She hadn’t
thought about being with him in so long.

His
arm covered her stomach as he pulled her close. His breath teased her ear and
the hair at the base of her neck.

“I’ve
missed you, Molly.” He kissed her neck. They both settled down together
watching the movie. The hour passed, and slowly her eyes began to droop.

****

When
he’d seen Malcolm cuddle his woman, David had struggled to remain in the bed.
No one touched his woman. He didn’t like it, had never liked another man even
lusting after Molly. She was all his, and there was no way he would accept any
man treating her as anything other than his wife.

Getting
her into his bed had been a dream. She lay down, tense at first and slowly, but
she began to relax until she fell asleep. Her head snuggled in close next to
him. David stroked her hair feeling each of the silky strands passing through
his fingers. It had been two months since he’d been able to do this, to hold
her and feel her next to him.

Malcolm
stopped at the door. David ignored him for several moments and basked in the
beauty of his wife. She wasn’t wearing the ring he had given her. Seeing the
sight of her bare hand was like a kick in the gut.

“Are
you okay?” Malcolm asked.

“I
am now. She hasn’t fallen asleep next to me in months. Thank you for doing this
for me,” David said, turning to look at his friend.

“I
know I’m only your friend, but it looks to me like you’ve hurt her badly,
David.”

Malcolm
walked into the room carrying a briefcase and his jacket.

“I
did. At times I think I still do. I don’t know what to do. I love her so damn
much, but I’ve spent so long telling her I won’t love her that she believes the
lies I’ve told her more than the truth.” David kissed her lips loving the sigh
that escaped.

“I
know many of our friends didn’t like her like they did Isabella. I did. I saw
the way she looked at you, and I knew you’d found a keeper in her. Do whatever
you can to make her happy. Molly deserves it more than most,” Malcolm said.

“I
know. I’ve got a lot of stuff to make up for. I can do it now that you’ve given
me a chance.”

“Don’t
mess it up, David.”

Malcolm
put the bottle of pills next to his bed. “That is your prescription. Take it.”

His
friend left. David turned back to Molly. Her lips were slightly parted in
sleep, and her cheeks were a rosy shade of red.

She
always looked beautiful to him. He stared at her, and the years melted away.
The few shades of white disappeared along with the few lines around her eyes
and lips. He stared down into the face of the woman he loved.
His sweet, young, innocent Molly.

He
kissed her lips, settling down next to her. Sleep claimed him within minutes.
For the first time in months, he didn’t wake up searching for her. His woman
was right next to him, and he’d do everything in the world to keep her happy.

When
he woke up the following day, Molly was looking refreshed and standing by his
bedside.

“What’s
up, baby?” he asked.

She
chuckled. “You’re a little old to be calling me that,” she said.

“I’m
never too old to call you that. You’re mine.” He caught her round the waist
pulling her down to the bed. She went willingly. The wire on his finger stopped
him for a moment. He pulled the blasted piece of equipment off then kissed her
lips.

“Please,
don’t do that guys,” Blaze said.

David
kissed her again then pulled away.

“What’s
going on?” he asked.

“You
can go home. We’re just waiting for the papers to be signed for your release. I
have a list of instructions from Malcolm and your clothes.”

“But
you’re not going home, home. You’re going away on holiday. Somewhere else where
no one can interrupt,” Blaze said.

“I
promised the doctor I’d come for check-ups.”

“And
you will. You don’t need to leave the country to go away.”

David
didn’t argue when Malcolm walked in. His son left, and Molly turned to leave.
He caught her hand before she had a chance to take a step. She looked down at
his hand and smiled.

“You
need to get dressed. I’ll be outside waiting for you.”

“Where
do you want to go?” he asked.

“Nowhere.”

She
tapped his hand then moved to leave. He thought about the small cottage he’d
bought in the country several years ago.

Malcolm
gave him a run-down of all the symptoms he might suffer from the medication
along with a few other points. He listened while getting dressed.

“Are
you sure you can do this?” Malcolm asked.

“You’ve
given Molly instructions on how to take care of me. I’ll be fine, and in the
meantime I’m going to make up for the pain I’ve caused my wife.” David turned
back to see his friend holding his belt.

“You’d
better. Now, enjoy your vacation. I’ve given Molly the emergency contact
information. Get away if you can. Didn’t you buy her that cottage in the
country or something?”

David
felt ashamed. His best friend knew about the cottage when Molly didn’t have a
clue what he’d done.

“She
doesn’t know.”

“Why?”

David
didn’t speak. He’d missed the holiday she’d planned, but years later he’d found
the plans she had made. He’d gone to the cottage she’d booked to find the
original occupants had gone out of business and the cottage was left to go into
ruin. On the spur of the moment, he’d bought the cottage and begun to have it
repaired. The repairs had taken years, and he’d employed several different
companies to have it rebuilt to its original model. David had used the picture
she’d kept along with some of the main architectural plans of the building. The
only problem was he’d never told her about it. He’d bought the cottage five
years ago, and the repairs had been completed for two. The process had been the
longest he’d gone through in renovating a cottage. After all this time, the
cottage remained in perfect condition because he employed the company to hire
some people clean the place in his absence, and he’d never told her.

He
slapped his head. So much crap over the years. Why? Why? Why?

David
couldn’t even find an excuse as to why he never told her. The more he thought
about what he’d done over the years, the more he realised what an ass he’d
been. There had been moments where they’d really connected as two people. He’d
wasted so many years fearing his father’s words and living with his own
problems. David knew he should have told her sooner how he felt.
 

“I
take it you’re hitting yourself for being a crap husband?” Malcolm asked.

“You
have no idea how crap I’ve been over the years.”

“Look,
take it steady. Angina may not be a heart attack, but it is still serious.”

“Malcolm,
I’ll take care of myself. There is no way I’m going to leave Molly without
letting her know how I feel.”

His
friend nodded. David shook his hand. “Thank you for everything.”

“You’re
welcome.”

David
walked out of the hospital room to see Molly and his sons waiting for him. She
looked so gorgeous. Why had he wasted so much time?

It
seemed no matter where he turned he was always wondering why.

Staring
at her across the room he was hit by a memory. A memory so painful that he’d
cut it off for most of his life.

Chapter Six

David
knew he needed to go and see his first wife’s grave. It had been a year since
he’d talked to her stone. Trent was eleven today, and like so many other
birthdays his son did everything to avoid him. There was too much pain and
guilt inside David. His little boy shouldn’t be hiding on his birthday. David
never blamed him for what happened. Trent was completely innocent in all of
this.

He
went to work after the kids were being dropped off at school. Molly always made
sure she was out of the house on this day. He’d woken up to see she was gone.
The coffee was left in the percolator along with pancakes in the oven. At lunch
time he’d waited for Molly, only for the hour to disappear without her showing.
When he could bear it no longer he made the drive to the cemetery where
Isabella lay. He’d placed her where her family wanted her to rest. David had
respected her family's wishes even if he’d disliked Isabella.

The
cemetery was completely empty as he pulled up. He parked the car and made his
way along the concrete path. There was a tree that stood near the line of
gravestones where Isabella rested. He turned the corner then stopped in his
tracks. Molly stood with Trent and Luke in the pushchair. All three were near
his ex-wife’s headstone. He hid behind the tree, and he heard their voices
clearly.

“It
looks so small,” Trent said.

“Your
mother is here, Trent. She would have loved you,” Molly said.

Tears
sprang to David’s eyes. Molly had no idea how wrong she was. Isabella had hated
having children. She hated his attentions inside the bedroom and out of them.
They had nothing in common. Why did he ever think he was in love with her?

“I
want you to be my mummy,” Trent said.

It
broke his heart listening to them talk about a woman who would never care for
them. He loved them both so much. David stayed behind the tree as they talked
to Isabella. He wished he could tell them the truth.

When
they walked past, he moved farther behind the tree so they wouldn’t see him. He
saw the tears in both of their eyes, and he’d heard the pain. Any other man
would have let Molly go by now. She was too perfect for him.

Shaking
his head, he moved to the gravestone where his wife lay. Tears were streaming
down his face.

“Another
year and I’m here again,” he said. David could never bring himself to say her
name. It was too raw and painful to even think about saying. “I have no idea
how our life would have turned out if you’d lived.” He wiped the tears from his
eyes.

Molly
and Trent had left red roses by her side.

“This
will be the last time I come here. You didn’t want me in life, and I sure as
hell am not going to spend another moment waiting for your forgiveness.
Goodbye.”

Again,
he tried to say her name but didn’t. He walked away without looking back.

****

Molly
watched him across the cemetery. She’d seen him hide behind the tree. The
moment he walked into the grounds she’d felt him. His pain and despair clung to
him like a cancer on these days. She refused to let his son pay that price.
Trent deserved to celebrate his birthday, no matter what had happened on it. Molly
knew she shouldn’t have taken him out of school. When she’d told them about
this day, they’d let him have it as a sick day providing he did extra work. He
was playing with Luke in the pushchair while she watched his father.