Learning to Live (The Infinite Love Series Book 1) (18 page)

“I’m going with someone else. I’ve moved on…you should to.”

Her eyes narrow and a scowl takes over her face. “You can’t honestly be talking about Ciera Nelson. That girl is the definition of white trash.”

I don’t know what comes over me, but I push her against the door of her car, my fingers circling her neck. I’m not putting any pressure on my hold, but I can tell she is frightened by the look in her eyes. “And what if I am? At least she doesn’t fuck anything that moves.”

Sophia expels a gasp and I remove my fingers slowly. “You’re different.” She rubs the area my fingers were. “You’re
really
not afraid to lose everything.”

I chuckle. “I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks anymore. You should try it, it’s freeing.”

She glares back at me before ripping open her car door and climbing in. She rolls down her window before driving off. “What you’re walking away from…people dream of having. You’re never going to be able to get it back.”

I raise my eyebrows. “I’m counting on it.”

She starts the engine and speeds off down my driveway.

I really have changed. Nothing is ever going to be the same again. I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for me.

Chapter Eighteen

Ciera

I quit my job.

We still need the money and it’s still on my mind, but my mother would not allow me to live another moment of my short time catering to the needs of others. She tells me she wants me to begin living for me and for once, I can’t say I disagree. Although I love the part-time position and my co-workers, there are so many things I want to experience before it’s too late.

Unfortunately, now I feel like I have so much extra time on my hands. So, I’ve been making a list. I guess, one would call it a bucket list. It’s a list of things I want to do before I go. Before I become a ghost of the past. I’ve been trying to stick to things that don’t require money, but my mother let me keep my last paycheck in full, so I have a little bit of play money, and I’m rather excited about it.

Number thirteen on my list is fly a kite at the beach. It’s not exactly the best weather for it, but the wind is sufficient. Now, I just need to figure out how to get there. I bought the kite last night. It’s Saturday morning and only 9 am, but I am dressed and ready to go. I should probably be keeping my distance from Topher, but after I call Mack a few times with no such luck, I know my options are quite slim. I know I could try to call Madalynne, but I don’t know her number, and it’s probably too sudden of a request.

After a lengthy mental debate with myself, I end up trekking it across town to Topher’s house. I don’t know if he will be home, but I hope so, as I just spent the last two hours making the long commute on foot. I could ride the bus, but I’m not familiar with the routes, and knowing me it would be much more of a headache. Thank goodness I’m in my warmest clothes, along with a scarf Rose gave me for Christmas last year. It’s rather ugly, but it gets the job done.

I’m breathing heavily when I finally reach the familiar door. It’s dark mahogany and beautiful, much like the inside of the house. I ring the doorbell and wait, hoping that the car I saw in the driveway is Topher’s current loaner. An older gentleman who resembles Topher opens the door. He has the same color of brown hair, but instead of Topher’s intense aqua irises, he has russet colored eyes. His nose and his jawline resemble his son so much, if I didn’t know any better, I’d guess they were brothers.

“Hi there, may I help you?” he asks. He has a gentle way about him, and I wonder if things have gotten any better between him and his son since the last time I was in their home.

I glance around him, hoping Topher will magically appear, but he doesn’t. “Is Topher home?” I ask.

He gives me the once-over appearing surprised that I am requesting his son. I’m surprised myself.

“He’s still asleep, did you want to come in and wait? I can go wake him up…” his father replies.

Disappointment surges through me.
Maybe this is a bad idea? What if he already has plans? What was I even thinking…?

“No, that’s alright…” Just as I begin to turn around and make the long trek back to my house, I notice a flash of something at the top of the staircase. My eyes hone in on the sight, and I notice it’s a shirtless Topher, glancing down at our interaction, rubbing his eyes.

“I got this, Dad,” he states with authority as he disappears and reappears within moments carrying a t-shirt. He skips down the stairs, slowly slipping the shirt over his head.

My heart is in overdrive. My cheeks heating up from the intimate sight. I just witnessed every girl’s fantasy…at least the girls I go to school with. My eyes are still trained on the small amount of skin showing between his sweatpants and his t-shirt when it finally falls over it.

Topher pushes past his father, his eyes widening from surprise when he sees me. “Hey, what are you doing here?”

I swallow, attempting to quiet my indecent thoughts.

I look down at my shoes, and then back up into his mesmerizing eyes. “I don’t know. I guess it seemed like a better idea earlier…”

Topher’s father shrugs his shoulders, and heads back inside their massive home.

Topher’s eyes fall onto my cheeks, and then hover over my lips. “Did you walk here?” He looks around me for any sign of a vehicle.

My cheeks begin to burn with a fury as I nod.

“Well shit,” he gasps out, reaching for my arm, and pulling me inside the warm house with him. “Do you want something to drink? You’re probably dead tired.”

I laugh. “Yeah, water would be nice.”

I follow him into the kitchen as he hurriedly prepares a glass of ice water for me. Then we both take a seat at the tall island in the middle of the room. “So, you want to tell me what you’re doing here?”

I sigh. “I need a ride.”

He chuckles, his teal eyes sparkling. “You walked all the way here just to ask me for a ride? Doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose of your request?”

I smile slightly. “Well you know me and phones.”

He looks uncomfortable as my underlying tone about being broke comes through. “Where did you need to go?”

I look at the clock and it’s nearing lunchtime now.
Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.
He probably already has plans for the day and I’m interrupting them. Plus, a drive to the beach is going to eat away quite a bit of time and gas.
I don’t even know what I was thinking.
“You know what,” I say, thinking better of it. “A ride home would be nice.”

He stares at me with a confused expression. “You’re acting really strange…”

I feign a smile. “At least I’m doing something right.”

He motions with his head toward the backpack I have on. “What’s in the bag?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Nothing. Just a kite.”

His expression changes to intrigue. “A kite?”

I nod. “I had this bright idea to go fly a kite at the beach…since I’ve never done it before and all. And I guess I didn’t really think about all the logistics of that.”

He cocks his head to the side. “You’ve never flown a kite before?”

I shake my head no.

“So, why today? What made you decide you wanted to try today?” he asks curiously.

Because I’m dying?
“I kind of have this list of things I want to try to do within the next couple of months.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Like a bucket list?”

The air between us grows thick. “Yeah, something like that. I just realized I haven’t really been living for a while now, and what better time to start?”

A smile pulls at his lips. “That is so cool. What else is on the list?”

My cheeks grow hot from his gaze. “Just stupid stuff like riding a horse, going camping, participating in a 5k.”

His shock is not easily masked. I know I am not in shape, whatsoever, but I want to do it all, before it’s too late.

“I learn more about you every day,” he murmurs softly.

I tuck my hair behind my ears nervously. “Yeah, I guess you do.”

Suddenly he is beaming back at me. “You could have asked anyone to help you conquer this list. Why me?”

I look around anxiously. “You know as well as I do that I can count my friends on one hand. And plus…I thought a change of pace might be good for you.”

He nods drumming his fingers along his chin. “Can I see the list?”

My stomach instantly tightens.
No. You cannot. If you see it, it will just create more questions.
I shake my head dismissively.

“Okay.” He chuckles. “But on our way to the beach you are going to share more of your list with me.”

Nervousness pools within me. “You want to go?”

He smiles widely. “Of course I want to go. But, before we go, I need to know…any more items on your list revolve around the beach or huge bodies of water?”

Mentally, I scan my list. “Yeah, a couple…why?”

He grins. “Better to kill two birds with one stone.”

I already like the way he is thinking. “Smart.”

“Let me go get dressed. You okay waiting here?”

I nod, remaining seated.

I guess I should have prepared better. I glance down at my warm clothing. Oh well.
Carpe diem.

Chapter Nineteen

Topher

I don’t know what I am expecting when I wake up to find Ciera at my door. It is surprising to say the least. The girl is much different than I thought. It’s like, just when I think I have her figured out, she goes and does something that jumbles my idea of her. When I see her at the bottom of the stairway, outside the door, my stomach begins doing sickening flops. I can’t figure out why. She’s never made me nervous before, but something has definitely changed between us. It is an unspoken shift, but I know she feels it too, otherwise she wouldn’t have walked all the way across town.

After quickly dressing, we hurry out the door and into the brand new 2014 Lexus RC F sitting in my driveway. It’s black and sleek and I’ve been dying to test it out on the freeway. Hopefully Ciera can handle it.

She is wearing the ugliest scarf I have ever laid eyes on. It looks like someone had a bit too much fun with tie-die and it has the ugliest fringed edges to it. I can’t take her seriously with it on. I keep sneaking glances and then cracking myself up.