Learning to Live (The Infinite Love Series Book 1) (17 page)

My door opens up, and I feel the cool, brisk wind seep in. Topher reaches in, grabbing my hands, and lifts me up. I can’t even look him in the eyes. I’m sniffling and looking down. I feel defeated. He encircles me in his arms, pulling me in tightly. My heart begins to race from his touch. One of his hands is around my neck holding me close, and the other has resumed its circular motion on my back. I can feel his chin on top of my head, and every now and then, his lips gently press against my hair, making the butterflies in my stomach act erratically.

He doesn’t say a word. He just continues to hold me tightly in his arms. It’s comforting, and exactly what I need. I’m thankful he doesn’t ask why I’m crying, or why I broke down right in front of him. It’s as if he knows that all I need right now is a friend. And even though there are things he’s done to me in the past that I may never forget…this is a huge step in the right direction to moving past them. Maybe I can forgive him. Maybe he deserves that.

Chapter Seventeen

Topher

I hold her silently until her breathing evens out, and her tears have long since dried up. The moon is illuminating the sky, and the sound of crickets and wind takes over our surroundings. Slowly, I begin to release her. I trace my fingers across her jawline gently. “You want to talk about it?”

She leans into my fingers for mere seconds before turning her face away from mine, averting my gaze. “Can you take me home?”

I nod, without saying a word.

We climb back into the car, and the air has changed between us.

I don’t know what it is about this girl, but seeing her hurt kills me. I want to beat up whoever made her cry. But she isn’t talking.

I glance over at her in the darkened car, taking in her delicate features. Her small ears, her long eyelashes, her cute nose. It’s like I’m seeing her for the first time. Ciera is not my type. She’s never been. But then again, neither was Sophia. Maybe I don’t even know my type.

She’s definitely not skinny by any means…but I like the fact that I can’t break her in two. I like the fact that she has curves and meat on her bones.

“You’re staring,” she whispers through a shaky breath as she locks eyes with me quickly, before shifting them back out the window.

“Sorry,” I say sheepishly as I break the stare.

But I’m not sorry. Not in one bit. My eyes flicker back to her face and her reddened cheeks.

I love the way her shorter hair accentuates her facial features. I love how the color brightens up her eyes and smile. Her blue eyes meet mine once more, but this time she doesn’t look away. I find myself drowning in her sapphire irises. Her cheeks grow redder by the second, but this time it doesn’t seem to be the tears causing it.

She bites her bottom lip delicately, seemingly nervous. “What is going on between us?” she asks.

“We’re friends,” I answer simply, but I can tell she isn’t satisfied with my answer.

She shakes her head softly. “Friends don’t kiss.”

I sigh, running my hand over my short hair.
She’s right. Friends don’t kiss. What is going on with me? Better yet…what is going on with us?

“You’re different than I thought.”

“You barely know me,” she says softly, breaking the stare.

“You’re Ciera Nelson. We’ve gone to school together for basically our entire lives. You’re the strange girl who doesn’t wear name brand clothes, doesn’t look anyone in the eyes, and excels at school. You work at Regal Cinemas. I’ve seen you there a couple of times. You seem happy when at work, more like yourself. You have one friend I am aware of, Mack Turner, who cares about you more than you care to admit to yourself. You recently began a new friendship with Madalynne Johnson…should I continue?”

She glances back at me. “All stuff that is glaringly obvious.”

“Your new hair and contacts give you a confidence you’ve never had before. And something changed in the past few weeks because you’ve been bolder. You carry yourself differently. You look people in the eyes. You don’t think having a gay father is a burden. You see it more as a blessing.”

Her eyes shift nervously around the car.

“Why didn’t you look anyone in the eyes?” I’ve been wondering this for a while, just didn’t know the right time to ask it.

She glances down at the floorboard, and I grab her chin, turning her face toward mine.

“If I didn’t acknowledge them, sometimes they let me be. Sometimes they forgot I was there. I could become a ghost.”

Pain shoots through my heart. I was one of the people that made her feel that way. I’m going to regret it for a long time. “What changed?”

Her eyes share the same pain I feel. “Madalynne showed me my worth. She helped me understand that it’s not wrong to be treated like a human being. It’s my right.”

I swallow, digesting her words.

You were one of the people that made her feel less than a human being. You were one of the assholes.

“I’m sorry for the part I played in everything.”

She shakes her head dismissively. “It’s okay.”

“No, no it’s not.” I lean back against my seat. “I had an image to uphold and a reputation to live up to. I didn’t care about anyone but myself.”

“And now?” she asks in a small voice.

“Now I realize how stupid I really was. How wrong I was.” I sigh loudly. “You didn’t deserve anything we put you through. None of it. And I’m really sorry.”

She inhales deeply as if she is letting my words wash over her, helping relieve her pain. “Thank you.” She rubs her hand across her jeans a few times. “You’ve changed too.”

I cock my head to the side. “How?”

Her blue eyes hone in on mine. “You’re less of an asshole.”

I fight a chuckle. “Thanks.”

She smiles slightly. “You don’t care what anyone thinks anymore. Your reputation is the least of your worries.”

She’s right.
I wonder when I made this transition.

“Go to the Winter Formal with me.”

Her eyes widen at my suggestion. “I know you don’t care about your reputation any more, but that would be full-on social suicide.”

I shrug. “Who cares? Come, with me.”

She exhales deeply. “You should take someone you care about.”

I grab her hand quickly, squeezing it as reassurance. “I want to go with you.”

It’s small, but I notice a flicker of a smile pass her lips. “I have nothing to wear.”

“I’ll take care of that.”

She sighs. “I don’t dance.”

I shrug. “Neither do I. But we can go and
not
dance together.”

She turns her head so her eyes are facing out the window. She appears deep in thought. “We shouldn’t. It wouldn’t be right. And plus, I’m not interested in a pity date.”

She is really making me work hard for it. “It wouldn’t be a pity date. There is no reason two friends can’t go to the dance together, and have a good time.”

“We come from two different worlds,” she says quietly.

“And your point is?”

“You would never hear the end of it. Your friends would make sure I got punished for it.”

“Let me take care of my friends. All you have to do is agree.” I’m trying to make it easy for her. I don’t give a shit about my friends.
She’s right, I have changed.

She nods gently.

“Is that a yes?” I ask, squeezing her shoulder.

She nods more aggressively, a smile playing upon her lips.

I tap the steering wheel. “Ciera Nelson, I am going to give you the most magical Winter Formal experience…just you wait.”

Her smile widens. “Thank you.”

“For what?” I ask.

“For making me forget what a shitty day I had.”

Oh, yeah.
Even I had almost forgot.

I rub her shoulder softly. “Hey, that’s what friends are for, right?”

* * *

I think my eyes are deceiving me when I make it home, and the familiar red Mustang is in the driveway. I park my loaner in the usual place before hopping out and heading straight for her driver’s side window. I can hear loud pop music emanating from inside, but I knock on the window. She turns the car off, and opens the door slowly.

“What are you doing here?” I decide to skip all pleasantries. We haven’t really talked since I found out about her and Joe, and I haven’t really cared to make an effort.

“Topher,” she says softly.

“What are you doing here, Sophia?” I repeat my previous question.

“I thought we could talk,” she replies timidly, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

“There’s nothing left to talk about,” I snap.

She winces from my harsh tone.

“Look,” she says gently, taking a step toward me. “I’m sorry for what I did. I really am. But you were checked out. You had been checked out for a while. Joe paid attention to me. He cared what I had to say.”

I grit my teeth, clenching my jaw. “When couples have a problem, they talk it out. They don’t sleep with their significant other’s best friend.”

Her expression remains pained. “I’m sorry Topher, I’m so sorry. Tell me what I can do to make this better.”

“You can’t,” I reply dryly.

She reaches out her hand to my neck, caressing her thumb into my skin. “I miss you. Let’s work this out. I love you.”

I grab her hand and shove it away from me. “Go home, Sophia.”

She looks surprised and hurt. “What about the Winter Formal?”

“What about it?” I ask, sarcastically.

“We are supposed to go together!” she says exasperatedly.

I nearly choke. “Why don’t you go with the guy you’ve been fucking for almost nine months?”

“Topher, don’t be like this! We can still work this out.” Her eyes continue to plead with mine, her bottom lip is quivering.