Leave it for the Rain: A Love She Couldn't Remember—A Woman He Couldn't Forget (Grayson Brothers Book 6) (20 page)

Now he knew why, but his childhood had been a painful, lonely time he was happy to forget.

He glanced over at Rebecca, who carried Jojo in the crook of her arm, and knew this moment was Heaven sent—for both of them. A look of pure joy on her face, Rebecca scratched Jojo’s tiny head with one finger. Adam could hear the little fur ball purring.

“She sounds like the saw at the mill,” he said. “Think she’ll stay near while we play the game?”

“I’ll keep a close eye on her.”

“So will I, and I’ll keep a close eye on you, too,” he said, giving Rebecca a flirtatious wink that made her laugh.

They finally reached the middle of the clearing where Adam and Leo set down the crate. Adam opened the hinged lid to reveal a gleaming handcrafted croquet set of boxwood trimmed with brass.

Leo lifted one of the long-handled mallets from the case, a whistle of approval sliding through his teeth. “That’s some craftsmanship at work. Let me guess. One of your Crane ancestors bought it in some far-off place.”

“Not that far-off. England. And maybe not that long ago—the 1860s, I think,” Mary said.

“Long ago enough for me. So it’s ladies against the gentlemen then?”

“Absolutely,” Rebecca said, setting Jojo in the grass.

While Jojo timidly explored the field, Adam and Leo set the stakes and wickets in the ground, and then everyone gathered in a circle for the coin toss to decide colors. Adam and Leo would play the blue and yellow balls; Rebecca and Mary, the red and black balls.

Adam was up first, and soon the crisp crack of mallet heads against balls could be heard echoing across the river.

Leo proved to be the strategist in the game, thinking through various types of shots before making one. But Mary outplayed him and obstructed his ball whenever she could, which was often and the cause of much laughing and jesting among the four of them.

Rebecca played with abandon. Adam could almost see her casting off her cares as she chatted and played with him and their friends. On the croquet court, she didn’t seem to fret about her memory loss or the future; she simply played the game—and beautifully at that.

Jojo chased Rebecca’s ball a few times and even swatted at the mallet head, but mostly the kitten sat back on her haunches and watched her mistress.

Eventually dusk gave way to darkness and the croquet court took on a faerie-like glow as candles burned atop each of the wickets. The friendly rivalry between Mary and Leo increased as the daylight sank away, but Adam noticed that Rebecca became anxious as they played by candlelight. Mary and Leo outpaced them, finishing the course and then waiting at a corner of the court to tease each other some more.

Was it the darkness Rebecca feared? The night to come? Perhaps her injury caused her eyes trouble in adjusting to the lack of light. Adam didn’t know, but he aimed to find out.

“Is something troubling you, Rebecca?”

“Do you know where Jojo is? I don’t see her.”

Adam nodded to the crate. “She jumped in it during your last shot. She’s sound asleep there. Snug as a bug.”

“Oh...” She pressed a hand to her chest. “Thank goodness.”

“Do you want to stop? We can tell Mary and Leo we’re ready to go back to the house.”

Rebecca shook her head. “As long as Jojo is safe I’d like to finish.” She smiled then and met his eyes. “I’ll be sorry to end this fun match by besting you.”

He returned her smile. “It’s not over yet, darling.”

As they headed for the last few wickets, Adam earned an extra stroke by hitting Rebecca’s ball. He made roquet with his striker ball against Rebecca’s roqueted ball, sending hers out of the way. He purposely left her with a difficult shot because if he knew one thing best about Rebecca Grayson it was that she was determined. She did her best when challenged.

“Oh! You rascal!” she said, setting her hands on her hips as if put out with him, but he could see that she loved their playful competition.

Once Adam scored the next wicket, Rebecca moved into action and not only put her ball back into play, but through the final wickets to the finishing stake.

When she looked up at Adam, a delighted smile lit her beautiful face. “I did it,” she whispered, the glow of the candles on the last two wickets wreathing her features in a soft light.

“You did,” he agreed softly.

Adam moved toward her, tapping his ball to the final stake. But he was no longer paying attention to the game because he didn’t care about winning or even finishing. He only cared about spending the day with Rebecca. The challenge for him had been to make it through the match without pulling her into his lonely aching arms.

He stopped in front of her, gently took the mallet from her hands and then set both mallets against the stake.

“Want to talk about it?” he asked.

“About what?” She hugged her arms about her body as if cold.

“About why you panicked earlier when you knew full well Jojo was asleep in the crate. You haven’t let that little fur ball out of your sight all evening. What happened?” He shrugged out of his coat and wrapped it about her shoulders. “Something upset you, my love.”

“It’s—I was having such fun with you and our friends and I just... I realized how happy I am here and that our time here is going by so fast and... and it made me a little sad is all. I want to get my memory back before we go home so I can have this same feeling when I see my family and the friends I left behind there. Mama’s letters are so beautiful and I miss my family deeply, but I can’t bear the thought of having to leave all of this behind when we go home.”

Adam rubbed his hands up and down her arms, hoping to warm her and calm her. “I know, sweetheart.” He put his mouth to her brow and kissed her, then touched his forehead to hers. “It won’t be easy, but we’ll make sure we visit here often.”

They stood there a moment, the sounds of the night wrapping about them.

“Do you hear that?” Adam asked.

“Leo laughing?”

“No, that burbling sound.”

“Yes, I hear it.”

“It’s the stones in the creek bed that change the course of the water and create the river’s song. No stones, no song.” Gently, he drew her to him. “Our obstacles and heartaches help create our song. What we are today is not what we will be tomorrow. Change is inevitable, darling, and it doesn’t have to be a bad thing or distress you. I’ll be right here... listening to your beautiful song as the twists and turns in life add new layers to your melody.”

“That’s so beautiful, Adam.” On a sigh, she lowered her forehead to his shoulder. “You must think I’m a dreadful mess.”

“I think you’re the most remarkable woman I’ve ever met.” He tilted her chin up and looked into her dark eyes. He remembered the way she had sought his mouth while caught up in her dream state, and he knew they both needed a moment like that again. He wanted a lifetime of them.

“Will you meet me tonight, Rebecca?”

Rebecca met Adam at midnight because she was curious—and because she longed to feel that special closeness to him again.

When Adam arrived, she was sitting on the swing with Jojo sleeping on her lap.

“It’s me,” he whispered, his voice coming out of the starlit night as he left the river path.

Rebecca squinted to see him approaching. “Hello,” she whispered back her heartbeat kicking up a notch.

He climbed the steps and quietly crossed to where she sat. “I’m glad you decided to meet me.”

She was glad, too. He was all she’d been able to think about.. She patted the empty space beside her. “There’s room for three if you would like to sit with us.”

“Ah,” he said, glancing down at Jojo. “I see someone else is enjoying this beautiful night as well.”

“She loves being rocked.”

“So do you, if last night was any indication.” He sat beside her. “I thought you might be too tired to meet me.”

She flushed with warmth remembering the feel of his arms and how nice it was to snuggle with him. “I am tired, but I enjoyed last night... talking and such, and this seems the best way to learn about our past and get to know you better.”

He acknowledged her comment with a slight nod, and swept his finger over Jojo’s tiny back. “Hey, little tiger, your purring could compete with the peepers.”

Rebecca smiled as his sweet greeting to the kitten. “It’s a comforting sound, isn’t it?”

“It’s the defining sound of contentment.”

She smiled. “I find it wonderfully calming.”

He lifted his hand and ran his palm up Rebecca’s forearm. “I’m glad you rescued her. You seem to be good for each other.”

“Jojo is one of the best things that have happened to me.” So was Adam, but she couldn’t tell him that. Not yet anyway. “When we get home she’ll have lots of kitty companions, so I’m being a little selfish with her right now.”

Adam smiled and gave the swing a gentle nudge to set it in motion. “I think being here in this peaceful place is good for both of you. When we left Fredonia you were scared and upset and on edge. You seem better.”

“I am,” she readily agreed. “Crane Landing is good for my spirit, and I’m sad that our time here is going by so quickly. That’s why I was sort of shaken earlier.”

“Don’t you want to go home?” he asked.

“Sure,” she said, but she didn’t... not yet. “This place captivated me the minute I set foot off the train. It’s going to be very hard to leave. It must have crushed you to have to come back to Fredonia.”

“My future was there.
You
were there. I couldn’t wait to get home to you.” He lifted a section of her hair off her shoulder and let it slide between his fingers. “How are you feeling? Honestly. Are you still having headaches?”

She shrugged. “Some, but they aren’t so bad most days.”

He pulled an envelope from his shirt pocket. “I brought you some tea. It’s a mixture of chamomile, willow bark, and valerian tea for when your head hurts or you need something to ease your nerves.” His dark eyes met hers. “I hate to think of you hurting. It nearly killed me to see you in such pain after the accident.”

“Nearly killed me too,” she said, making light of a very bad time.

He didn’t smile. She could see that his pain went too deep to find any humor in such a terrifying event. “Now that you’re healing, can you remember that day at all?”

She shook her head. The few bits of information she’d gleaned via her senses at Doc Samuel’s prodding were untrustworthy. She’d had so many bizarre thoughts since arriving that she hadn’t a clue what was real and what wasn’t.

“Are you having any memories at all?” he asked. Although his expression hadn’t changed, she heard the hopeful inflection in his voice.

“No, Adam. I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right. I was simply asking because we haven’t talked about it in a while. You seem as if you’re growing close with Grandma and I thought maybe you were having memories of her.”

“We’re getting closer because she is a generous, loving and remarkable woman, not because I remember her.”

“Is that why we’re growing closer? Because I’m remarkable?”

He’d asked straight-faced, but Rebecca laughed knowing he was playing with her. Jojo stirred on her lap and Rebecca stroked the kitten’s back to calm her. “It’s all right, sweetie, Adam is just being ridiculous.” She looked up into his smiling eyes... and lo... he
was
remarkable. “Why did we wait so long to marry?” she asked, quietly. “Were we uncertain of our feelings for each other?”

He released a long, slow sigh, his eyes turning toward the river behind her as if trying to understand a universal truth. “I used to think I knew why we were waiting, but now I wonder if we weren’t just being foolish.” With a shake of his head, he swung his gaze back to her. “There is nothing I’ve wanted more in life than to marry you, and you used to feel the same way about me. I almost didn’t go to university because I couldn’t bear not seeing you every day. But I
had
to go. My dad
gave
me the Grayson name. I wanted to live up to that name and become the intelligent, confident man of integrity that he and his brothers are. I needed to earn my partnership in the family sawmill business and contribute something as well—and I needed to know I was capable of caring for you and the children we would one day have before I felt I could marry you. I couldn’t do that without a better education and gaining a broader experience of the world. If I had stayed, I would have failed myself as a man and squelched your opportunity to apprentice with Calvin Uldrich. It was extremely painful for us, but we loved each other and our family enough to make the sacrifice. We knew how good it would be when we could finally marry. But look what happened.” Again he shook his head. “In hindsight it seems utterly foolish to have forfeited our present for some idealized future. I’m so sorry I didn’t marry you at the first opportunity.”

Rebecca’s hand stilled on Jojo’s back. “Would our being married make our situation any better now?” she asked. “Instead of not knowing my intended I wouldn’t know my husband—or my children. To me, that would be even worse than where we are right now.”

“Ouch.” He released a hard breath and scraped his hair back, leaving his fingers entwined in the dark strands as he rested his elbow on the seat back. “I had never considered that before now, but you’re right. It would be far worse.”

Their eyes met.

“Do you think you can come to care for me again?” he asked, slowly rocking the swing.

“I already care for you, Adam. I had hoped you knew that by now, but I perhaps I haven’t given you much reason to know.”

A small shrug lifted his shoulders. “I feared I may be pulling you along and not be giving you a choice in the matter.”

“You’re persuasive, but I can assure you that I’m heading the same direction of my own accord.”

“Then you do have feelings for me?”

She tilted her head to better see his face. “Yes, I do.”

“Does this mean you’re remembering us?” he asked, hopefully. “Are your memories coming back?”

“No, Adam, she said, frustrated with him for not letting go of that bone and with herself because she kept wishing for what seemed impossible. “Knowing we’ve had a long, loving friendship together and that you’ve been a gentleman suitor for so many years gives me a sense of comfort I wouldn’t likely feel with another man, but that isn’t the reason I have feelings for you. My feelings are not based on memories of you or our past. They started the minute I opened my eyes and saw your face. I felt drawn to your voice and your touch. I know it’s only been a few weeks, but I truly enjoy your sense of humor and the easy friendship we have. I admire your character and enjoy being with you when you’re not pushing me to remember our past.” She gave him a smile to let him know she wasn’t chastising. “At the risk of being too forthright I’ll admit that meeting you here in the dark is rather... well, it’s exciting and... and I’m very attracted to you.” Her cheeks burned, but she forced herself to finish. “You occupy my thoughts a good deal of the time, but it’s not because I’m remembering you.”

Unthreading his fingers from his hair, he reached out and slipped that same hand into the hair at the nape of her neck. Gently, he tilted her face with his other hand. “This is a moment I’ll never forget,” he whispered, and drew her mouth to his. Slow and easy, he rocked the swing and kissed her.

Eyes closed, she inhaled his scent... the feel of him... his voice as he whispered words of love and longing against the shell of her ear... the warmth of his breath and his arms as he held her. She crested each swell of emotion as if she were a schooner sailing familiar waters... She had been here before. Many times. This place was theirs and she knew it well.

He lifted his mouth and traced her lips with his fingertip. “I miss kissing you like this.”

“I think I miss it too,” she whispered, making them both smile. “With you rocking me and kissing me I feel all churned up inside like an undulating ocean of waves.”

He released a quiet laugh. “You always paint the most interesting pictures with your words.”

“Did I do that before my accident?”

“Yeah,” he said, stroking her hair. “You did.”

“Then I’m not so different from before I rattled my brains?”

For a few seconds he simply studied her in silence. “You’re the same and yet... you’re different.”

“How so? How am I different?” she asked, really wanting to know.

With a shrug he laid his arm along the back of the bench. “Before your accident you were content in Fredonia. You loved spending all your time with your family and working the livery. When you talked about traveling it was about taking a train to Buffalo to see our relatives. Now... you talk about crossing the ocean.”

“Is that bad? Have I changed too much for you?”

“No.” He cupped her cheek in his palm. “I’m just... intrigued.”

“I do want to sail across an ocean someday, Adam. I want to step onto the shore on the other side and imagine what Princess Cecily must have felt when she took her first step on American soil. It’s not because I don’t want to go back to Fredonia or be with my family. It’s simply that the idea of sailing an ocean excites me in a way that makes me feel wildly alive. Do you ever feel that excitement when you look at the ocean?”

“Sure,” he said. “But I also think about the type of craft I’d sail in and how well it was built and what kind of storms it could sustain and how long it would take to cross an ocean and—”

Rebecca’s laugh cut him off. “Please stop,” she said. “You’re ruining my idea of a romantic voyage.”

As if her words rang a bell in his ear, Adam shook his head. “Sorry, my love. Getting technical is a hazard of building ships. Sailing across the Atlantic with you would indeed be romantic.”

“After seeing how beautiful it is here at Crane Landing, I want to explore more of the world. I can only imagine what we’re missing.”

“Maybe we aren’t missing anything,” he said. “Maybe all that’s important or worth seeing is right here in each other. Why not explore your past as you wish to explore the world around you?”

Surprise and disappointment punched Rebecca in the gut and she exhaled hard. She had tried exploring her past, and continued to do so each day, but that path remained blocked. She had no choice but to move forward, and that direction included her desire to see more of the world. “I thought you might be of like mind, Adam. You seem like a man who enjoys adventure and challenge and... and romance.”

“I do.” He linked hands with her. “That’s why I’m taking you for a canoe trip upriver tomorrow.”