Left Behind (6 page)

“We will.” James said. “Like you said, J, we’re in this together. Sissy, will you please agree to have one of us with you at all times? I don’t think he’ll try anything with us around.”

‘
I’ll probably just be staying here. I don’t think he can get in here with our security that J has pu t in . I can be safe here.’

“Come on, Pea. You can’t let him win.” Toby piped in. “If you shut yourself away, that’s what you’re doing, letting him win. You’re letting him still have power over you. I don’t know exactly what happened, but I do know you. You’ve always been strong. A real fighter. Fight him and his hold over you. Be who you’ve always been.”

‘
I’m sorry, Toby. I don’t know how to be that person anymore.’

“Sure ya do, Sissy. You was beginning to come back. Just keep doin’ what we were doin’
. Come to work with me every day and start getting out of the house. I want my Sissy back. We used to do everything together.” Then he looked at Toby. “At least when the trips weren’t around.”

“Hey!” Toby laughed.

I was silently laughing while Jordan butted into it. “Well when y’all were here on holidays, Marti forgot she had brothers. W
e only saw her at bed time, and sometimes not even then. She’d sleep over at your place.”

I couldn’t believe they were arguing over me. It was too funny, but I knew they were only trying to make me feel better. It worked though.

After a little light bantering back and forth, the others left leaving me with just Toby. I was still in his arms. I could tell he wanted to say something, but he was struggling to get it out.

‘Just say it.’
I signed.

He took a deep breath and let it out. “I don’t want you to get upset, and if you don’t want to talk about it I’ll understand, but I was wondering…”

I was looking him in the eyes. I knew he wanted to know everything, and we’d never kept things from each other, but it was just too difficult to talk about.

“Never mind.” He mumbled. I guess he could tell I didn’t want to talk about it, but I felt bad because he told me some of what happened to him.

‘
Don’t wor
ry about it. Go ahead and ask.’

“Well…I was just wondering why you freaked at the sight of the rose?”He said softly.

This time it was me who took the deep breath. I pushed back and he loosened his arms enough for me to be able to turn onto my back to where I was looking up at the ceiling instead of at him.

‘
After the first punishment, he brought me breakfast in bed, an injection of pain meds, and a long stem rose as an apology for being so harsh. A thorn pricked my thumb when I took it from him, and he said he felt bad for forgetting the thorns, so every time he brought me a rose after that-which was after all the punishments-he w ould trim the thorns off first.’
I didn’t look at him the whole time I was signing to him. I w as afraid I’d see pity in his eyes .
I had tears leaking from mine.

“What punishments?”

I shook my head very fast. I couldn’t tell him. I had flashes of the whip slashing my face and throat, and of the knife he eventually graduated to using. I couldn’t tell. I couldn’t. I kept shaking my head while sobbing harder and harder.

“I’m sorry, Pea. I’m so sorry. You don’t have to tell me. Calm down, baby, you’re safe ” He pulled me into his arms murmuring comforting words, holding me tight, and rocking me.

I eventually calmed down and pushed away from him again so I could use my hands.

‘
When
are Tory and Troy coming home?
’
I asked.

It was his turn to look uncomfortable, but he said, “They are stateside.”

‘
Well, if they’re back,
when will they be coming home?’
I asked, confused.

“Troy will coming in a couple of days.”

He tried to pull me back, but I still wanted to know about Tory.

‘When will Tory be coming?’

There was pain in his eyes when he answered. “I don’t know.”

I knew something was wrong, and he didn’t want to tell me. I was starting to panic.
‘
Wh y don’t you know? Where is he?’

Toby always prided himself on being “manly”, but as he
lay there, I saw a tear trail down his temple. I knew whatever it was, it was bad.

“Tory’s in a coma.”

My heart stopped for a beat. My Tory was hurt. I couldn’t believe it. He’d always been able to jump out of trees or off the barn and not have a scratch. He couldn’t be in a coma!

I looked at Toby, my heart breaking.
“How? Why?”
I asked.

“He took multiple
gunshots
to the back and one hit him in the head.” He said quietly.
“
They really don’t understand how he is still alive, but he is. He has brain function and everything, but if he doesn’t wake soon, they’ll have to hook him up to machines because his organs will stop functioning correctly.”

“Where is he?”

“He
’s in Columbia at
the VA Hospital there. Troy is with him. He’ll come home this next weekend and I’ll go there. We don’t want to leave him alone.”

I got up off of the bed and went to the bathroom to wash my face. I needed to see Tory for myself. I hadn’t seen him for three years, because he didn’t come when Troy and Toby did before my incident. He had been deployed on a mission for the Navy Seals he was a part of. The last time he came home, a little over a year ago, I had gotten Jordan to tell him that I was out of town. I of course was ‘never home’ for their calls because I didn’t want them to know what happened. Now I might have missed my chance to ever talk to him again, and I didn’t think I could live with that.
Thoughts of my gu ys have gotten me through some of the most painful things that have gone on . T
o never have Tory call me Princess again, or to never ride double with him on Curly again, or to never make anymore memories with him again was too much to bear.

I remember that he was my first kiss. He said he needed practice so he’d be good enough for the girl he was going to marry. I knew that was a load of bull, but I did it anyway . He didn’t need any practice. It was the most amazing first kiss. He was the first one to always run up to me for a hug when they would come for the holidays. He was the one to talk all of us into the crazy stunts we would get in trouble for. Like t .
p .
’
ing the high school principal ’
s house for canceling the winter formal my freshman year, or keying the neighbors car for making me get rid of my bulldog, Wrinkles, when Wrinkles got into her flowerbed. They never let me get in trouble, though.
They always took the blame for everything, and everyone thought I was an angel.
No matter what I said, the trip s wouldn’t have it any other way.

No, I co
uldn’t live without one of my gu
ys. I had to see him, but that would me an traveling and I was afraid to do that. What if…

I turned to go
back
to Toby, and jumped, falling down almost hitting the floor if Toby hadn’t caught me.
He had been standing in the doorway watching me.

“You
still are falling
for me, huh?” He gave a little smirk, but it didn’t reach his eyes. I could tell he was just trying to lighten the mood a little, but it didn’t work. I was too preoccupied with my idea.

‘Toby, Can we bring him home?’
My hands were moving fast in excitement of the idea. I looked at him with a hopeful expression on my face, but the question put a pained look in his eyes.

“Did you not hear me, Pea? He might not be on machines now, but he does have IV fluids, and he will end up on machines if he doesn’t wake up.”
He said trying to stress to me the severity of the situation, but that just made me angry.

‘
I’m not stupid, so don’t treat me that way. I will
pay for whatever…’

“No!” He cut me off. “You’ll not spend your money on his treatment that, right now, he’s getting for free at the VA.”

‘
I have money that I don’t need or use. It has just sat in the bank collecting dust for the past three years.’
I signed using jerky hand movements.
‘
I want to do this. I want Tory here with me. I want you all here. Don’t you think he’d do better in his own home? He’s hated hospitals every since he had to watch your mom suffer through her treatments.’
I looked at him pleading with my eyes.
‘Please.’

Toby walked away from me to the window and asked while his back was still turned, “Will you be alright if I go home tonight and make arrangements?”

I waited for him to turn back to me so I could answer, but he just stayed looking out. Did he forget I couldn’t answer?
I guess he did forget as he turned, and a look of dawning came on his face.

“I’m such an idiot! I forgot. What was your answer?”

‘
I’ll be fine. I’ll just work on my book some. I’ll get Jordan to call the bank tomorrow to add you on my accounts so you can pay for everything he needs to be transferred here .’

“You don’t have to do that.” He said as we walked towards the front door. “We have money in the bank I will use.”

I grabbed his arm to turn him toward me.
‘
That is for your ranch. When Tory wakes don’t you think he wants all of you to continue as planned? My money has nothing to do. All my things are paid off, and Jordan pays the monthlies so I don’t even have to worry about bills, except for groceries.
Please let me do this for him.’

Toby huffed out a big breath of air. “Alright,”
He said. “Talk to Jordan and l et him arrange things on your end. It’s too late to start transferring over here tonight, so I’ll just call Troy to let him know.”

‘
Please, don’t tell him about me. I’ll see him as soon as he gets home. Let h im concentrate on Tory for now.’

“You know I’m not going to promise that.” He said as he opened the door. “But, I won’t tell him the specifics of the little I know. I’m still very disappointed that neither you nor your brothers told us what you were going through. We would have been here sooner. We’ve always been there for you, yet you shut us out of something like this. I won’t shut my brothers out.”

‘
I am sorry. I thought I was doing what was best for ever y body, but I g uess I was just being selfish.’

He kissed me, just a peck on the mouth, but something I had missed terribly. “No, Pea. I guess I kind of understand where you were coming from, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. One thing you’ll never be, though, is selfish. I’ll see you in the morning.”

I watched as he walked down the porch steps, and out to his SUV
, with so many mixed feelings that I was confused. I was happy to finally be getting my best friends and th e loves of my life home with me.
I was petrified that Tory wouldn’t wake up .
I was sad for how many things had c hanged between all of us, but that was my fault. I watched him pull away and then closed, locked, and dead-bolted the door.

I wanted to find Jordan and talk to him, but looking at the clock it was already one thirty in the morning, so I‘d have to wait for him to wake up. I was starting to feel groggy, so I went to my bathroom to find my No-Doze. I took four pills because the normal dosage didn’t work for me anymore. Four pills were barely working. I headed back to the kitchen and got a Red Bull out of the fridge.

I tried to work on my book for an hour, but had barely come out with a page, so I just put my laptop to the side and just sat by the window in my bedroom . I didn’t open the drapes; I just stared like I could see the outside world. For some reason, every since Toby told me about Tory, I couldn’t help thinking of my dad.

I was always a Daddy’s girl. Even after he started working all the time, when he was home we always spent the time together. I took care of him , doing his laundry, cooking for him, cleaning after him, stuff like that. I guess that’s why I felt betrayed when he died. He never told me he had liver cancer.
I had noticed how tired he was, but when I asked he would just laugh it off saying he was getting old. I tried hard to get him to quit one of his jobs, I even started working two jobs because I thought we needed the money, but he would not quit and would not let me pay for anything but groceries. He had kept a lot of things hidden from me. It nearly broke me when he died. I felt like I didn’t have a purpose anymore. My brothers were living in their own places, doing their own things, the trips all had decided to extend their service in the military. I was alone and I didn’t know how to deal with it. At one point I had even thought about ending it all, but then I thought about Daddy and how, even though he hat ed living without my mom, he had done it. He didn’t end it all when she died. He actually made his life better trying to make her proud of him.
He wanted to be considered good enough to be able to join her when it was his time to go.
I decided then to do the same. I would make my mom and dad proud. That’s when I signed up for the University. Of course that ended up being the mistake of a lifetime, literally.