Less Than Perfect Circumstance (16 page)

“I appreciate that.”

“Listen, considering everything that’s happening with your dad, you know I’ll understand if you can’t make the reception.”

“I know. Every time I talk to him, I feel like I’m on borrowed time. It bothers me that we’ve been so withdrawn from each other
;
he and his stubborn ways, me and mine. I’ll have to make th
is one up to you.
Deidre and I will go shopping for gifts tomorrow.”

“You’re such a sweetheart.”

“I love you, too.”

“Listen,
let me call you back. M
y mother and I are at a fitting
with Shayna
. You should see these dresses.”

“I know they’re a knockout.”

“To say the least. You’ll have to see the pictures.”

“I can’t wait. Ok, beautiful. Give my love to the family.
Enjoy your day. Love you lots.”

“Love you more,
”
Belinda said before quickly hanging up.

Love truly is a beautiful thing. To find it once is amazing; to find it twice, with the same person, is incred
ible. I
was extremely happy for Belinda and DaMarcus
. If nothing else made my
day, this announcement did.
I
imagined Belinda and DaMarcus fifty years down the road, surrounded by their children and grandchildren, celebrating some golden anniversary, with everyone wondering how they managed to stay committed all these years. As much as she hated to admit it, Belinda was too in love with DaMarcus to let him go.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

ASK YOURSELF IF HE’S REALLY WORTH IT

Belinda

I stood in the upstairs window of my old bedroom in my parents’ home, looking at the beautifully manicured lawn which was now covered by lawn chairs, family members and close friends. The gazebo was decorated with white roses. Placards the shape of wedding cakes sat in silver-plated cardholders, displaying the names of each of the fifty expected guests. The centerpieces were simple: a printed bud vase. It read, “Love will never do without you. Belinda and DaMarcus”.

The day was beautiful. August was coming to an end, and although the day was hot, it had cooled to a comfortable seventy-five degrees. The threat of rain had held off. The clouds that were once dark were now white, and resembled vanilla flavored cotton candy. All seemed perfect, yet something was missing.

Shayna and her Fiancé, Elliot De Luca, a tall Italian she met while on vacation two years ago, were expecting their first child. Ingrid and her husband of five years, Mario Roloson, sat at a table in the front
row. Julie and her son, Nikalaus, were seated next to my brother, Christian, whose girlfriend chose to attend her family reunion, which was fine, since she hadn’t been introduced to the family. I was happy to see my friends with the people who added more meaning to their lives.

I was sitting at the edge of the bed reading a card that was attached to her gift from Dexter that was delivered earlier.
My Dear Belinda: I thought how beautiful you looked on your wedding day and I can only imagine how beautiful you look today. As you renew your vows to DaMarcus, remember to trust love. Remember to believe that true love will never hurt you. I may not be there in person, but I am always with you in spirit and in heart. Love you always, Dex.

I hated the fact that Dexter couldn’t be here to celebrate, but I understood why. We had shared in each other’s joys, pains, and disappointments, so I knew that not being here was a hard decision for him to make. When we last spoke, Dexter was getting and feeling better. His father, on the other hand, hadn’t improved much, but the family was spending time with him. I knew if I thought anymore about Dexter, I would have to re
apply
my makeup. There was a gentle tap at the door.

“Sweetheart, are you ok?”

“Yes, dad I’m fine,” I responded with sadness in my voice. 

“They are just about ready for you. Your mom and I wanted to talk to you for a minute.”

“Sure, come on in.”  I was back at the window holding the gift I had gotten from Dexter. DaMarcus and a pastor from my parents’ church were standing at the Gazebo. He looked more handsome than ever as he stood waiting patiently for me to join him.

“You look radiant,” my father complimented. 

“Thanks dad. Can you help me with this?” I handed him the cream-colored pearls with a heart-shaped diamond and pearl pendant.

“Sweetheart, your father and I want you to know we love you very much,” my mother interjected. “You’ve always told us to allow you to make your mistakes, and allow you to grow. You are stubborn, but we love the woman you’ve become. We know that DaMarcus loves you, and we’re glad you were able to work things out.”

“Mom, thank you.”  I knew my parents were right.

“Honey, you know what and who is good for you, and you knew that when you met DaMarcus. Let him love you.”

“I love you both very much.”

I hugged them and then walked towards the door.

“Now leave before you two make me cry,” I demanded.

“See you in five minutes, sweetheart.”

“Okay.”

I closed the door behind them and then turned to face the
stand-
ing mirror, looking myself over one last time before joining my guests and husband. I was looking radiant. My makeup was flawlessly applied, and my dress was the perfect fit. There was one thing that couldn’t match the perfect occasion, no matter how hard I tried to get it out my mind. I wasn’t exactly sure I had made the right decision, but even if I hadn’t, it was too late to have a change of mind. My heart was in the right place because I did love DaMarcus, but my mind just wasn’t right.

I was still standing in the mirror with my right hand on my hip and my left hand over the center of my chest, as if I were feeling my heart.
Even if this isn’t what I should be doing, I can’t embarrass my family and friends by backing out now
, I thought.  Before I could complete my thought, there was another knock at the door.

“Who is it?” I took a deep breath and found my heart, which had been racing a mile a minute, finally slowing.

“Hey, Lynn. It’s Shayna.”

“If you guys don’t stop interrupting, I’m never going to make it down that isle,” I said as I pulled the door open.

“Well, you’ve been up here long enough.”

Shayna closed the door behind her and stood. I slowly made my way back to the mirror.

“If you are waiting for that mirror to tell you who is the fairest of them all, it’s not going to happen. You look beautiful. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that,” Shayna complimented. “And if that mirror starts talking, girl, I’m out of here.”

I smiled, but it was quickly replaced with a look of uncertainty.

“Thank you.”

I walked over to the window overlooking the yard. Flowers were everywhere. I separated the curtains and stared at the man waiting to marry me again.

“He is handsome, isn’t he?” I asked rhetorically. 

Shayna did not respond. She sat on the corner of the bed and waited for me to continue. When I turned to face Shayna, my hands were folded across my chest.

“I know everyone thinks we should be together.”

“Lynn, you know this as much as I do,” Shayna interrupted. “It doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks about your decision. What matters is that when you say
I do,
later you are not lying in bed wondering whether or not you made the right decision.”

“That’s just it, Shayna. I’m not sure I’ve made the right decision.”

“I was going to ke
ep my opinion s to myself, but
I’m having my doubts, too. I still think there’s something DaMarcus isn’t telling you. I
know you love him, and you
want to believe him, but
I think you forgave him too quickly,” Shayna confessed.  

“Every time I’m lying beside him, right before I fall asleep, right after he kisses me and tells me how much he loves me, the images come rushing back. No matter how I try, they just won’t go away.”

“Do you believe that nothing happened between DaMarcus and

Taylor? If you don’t believe him, then you certainly will not be able to trust him. It doesn’t make sense making a lifetime commitment to someone you don’t trust.”

Shayna patted the bed next to her for me to sit.

“I really want to,” I said, removing a stubborn piece of hair that had fallen just over my right eye.

“I know you want to, but right now, can you say that you do? Honey, I want you to consider your happiness, not anyone else’s. Before you walk down those steps and down that aisle, you need to be absolutely sure this is what you want.”

Shayna stood holding my hands.

“Now,” she continued, “no matter what you decide, your friends will support you, your parents will understand, and DaMarcus has no choice but to accept your decision. If you are not downstairs in ten minutes, I’ll make an announcement to the guests.”

“What will you say?”

“I’ll think of something.”

Shayna kissed my forehead and started towards the door.

“Shayna,” I called out. “Thank you.”

“No problem, big sis. Love you.”

“I love you, too.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

FOR LOVE, FOR EVER

Belinda

When I stepped down the patio steps and in position under the arch of white roses, the music sounded on cue. I had heard this song before, but that wasn’t Ray’nard Bishop’s voice coming through the speakers. When I looked up, I could only smile. Those tears I held back while reading the card from Dexter, the tears I fought back while my parents spoke, now had a mind of their own.

“I thought I would never find a love like this

till
I met you.

And you have opened up my heart like this

since
I met you.

The way you make love to me

The way you make love to me

You made me happy

You made me happy

And this is where I’ll be

As long as you let me”

I was walking towards Dexter. He stood in the middle of the aisle with the microphone in his hand. His face looked perfect. When I reached him, he hugged me and whispered, “I wouldn’t have missed this for anything in the world.” As he turned to walk, the music started again.

“For love, for ever

Is a promise I make to
you

Today and always

One love I’ll share with you

My heart I’ll give to you

To love, for love, for ever”

Taylor Duncan, dressed in the most elegant Cerulean blue gown she could find, sang as if her life depended upon it. She sang, holding hands with DaMarcus, escorting him to meet me halfway. As the words fell from her mouth, she looked at DaMarcus, as if to say
thank you
, and then looked at me as if to ask for forgiveness. Had she known what true love felt like, she wouldn’t have allowed the abuse to continue, and she wouldn’t have ended up in our home causing such confusion and misunderstanding.

When DaMarcus and I reached each other, I hugged Taylor and whispered, “Can you ever forgive me?”

“I already have, beautiful,
”
Taylor responded.

“I’m so sorry.”

After DaMarcus kissed me, he gently took my hand and continued down the isle. Taylor and Dexter sat in the two chairs at a table that were reserved for them; somebody knew they were coming. As we walked, the voices of R&B singer and Ray’nard and newcomer Terryan Johnson took over. As they sang, their voices illuminated with passion. What a perfect serenade. 

“And I promise to love you,

And I promise to love you

All of your heart.

All of your heart

For love, for ever”

As the music faded, I turned to DaM
arcus and whispered, “I love
you.”

“I love you more,” he said, smiling
.

“Families and friends,” Pastor AntwannSturgess began. “Who is better to say why these two have come before us today but DaMarcus and Belinda? They have decided to share vows they have prepared.”

“I’ve always wanted to share a spec
ial love with someone like you,”
DaMarcus began. “I knew what my heart was capable of, and I looked for someone to trust in it; there you were. You became my best friend, and loving my best friend became easy. I love you, not to hurt you, but to cherish you. I love you, not to deceive you, but to share everything with you. You are the gift I have prayed for; the best gift God has given me.  I love you.”

DaMarcus handed me the microphone. I looked over at Dexter, placed my left hand in the center of my chest, and then looked back at DaMarcus.

“My Sweet, DaMarcus. There was a time I ran away from love. When I met you, I was still running. But everywhere I ran, you followed. All the hurt I had, all the fears I showed, you loved them away. When I didn’t believe in love, you loved me anyway. When I wasn’t ready to love, you loved me anyway. I found a love that I never
want to lose. In another lifetime, I still want to love you. I love what you do to me. I love how you make me feel. I love you.”

Before I could finish my last words, DaMarcus’ lips were already on mine.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you the new Mr. and Mrs. DaMarcusNealon.”