Let It Snow... (18 page)

There weren’t a ton of empty spots but Trudie and her mom managed to snag one...and that was, after all, all they needed.

Trudie didn’t bother to look at the menu. She’d wanted pie since yesterday...day before yesterday. She ordered pie and a coffee. Ruby, the waitress, left with their orders.

Her mom didn’t waste any time. “So...finally,” she said. “Knox has finally seen you as a woman and you all finally did the deed. You’ve been waiting a long time for this.”

That wasn’t exactly what Trudie had expected.

“Mom!”

“Trudie.” Harriet Brown laughed at her flummoxed daughter.

She’d had no idea her mom knew how she felt about Knox. “How’d you know?”

“Well, you’re glowing and I’ve been your mother through all your relationships and you’ve never glowed before. I’ve known for a long time that Knox was the one who’d make it happen.”

“But you never said anything.”

“Neither did you, honey. But I knew he broke your heart after Mormor died and he turned to Elsa.”

Ruby arrived with their drinks and Trudie’s slice of lemon-meringue. “It was terrible, Mom.”

She took a bite of the pie. Delicious. Lemony and tart, not too sweet.

Her mother echoed the phrase Trudie had used earlier. “But you never said anything.”

“I didn’t want you to worry about me. I knew you were already concerned about Knox and I didn’t want to add to that. I had no idea you knew how I felt.”

“You’re my kid. I watched you and Knox grow up together and fall in love and neither one of you knew it. And I’m a woman. I just knew. So when did this... How did things change?”

Ruby showed up again—this time with Harriet’s sandwich and chips. Trudie brought her mom up to speed while they ate.

Harriet pushed the last bite to one side on her plate. It didn’t matter how hungry she was or how good the food was, Harriet Brown always left a bite. It was one of those quirks that used to drive Trudie crazy. Now she simply embraced it as her mom being herself.

“So, I guess we’ve got a wedding to start thinking about.”

The idea both thrilled and terrified Trudie. Mostly terrified. “Uh, no. He hasn’t asked.”

“He will.”

“I can’t marry him, Mom.”

“You’re my child and I love you, but sometimes, Gertrude Ashland Brown, you confound me. Why in the world not?”

For the same reason she couldn’t tell him she loved him last night. She simply couldn’t bring herself to trust his feelings for her. “Mom, think about it. He was with Elsa for almost two years. He broke up with her maybe two weeks ago. I’m a rebound and you know you can’t trust a rebound.”

So, it was wonderful to be friends again, for the rest of the holiday, and being lovers had been fantastic last night and they’d have their romance, but Trudie had to think of it as a temporary thing, she had to hold back a part of herself. She couldn’t...wouldn’t tell him she loved him. She could go with what they had now, and when it ended it would hurt but it wouldn’t devastate her. But if she really handed him her heart without reservation and he checked out on her again...she wasn’t sure she’d ever recover.

“I agree...ninety-nine-point-nine percent of the time. You and Knox are that zero-point-one percent. You aren’t a rebound for him. I think you both had to go your separate ways and lose what you just had to know what you had.” Her mom paused a beat. “By the way...how was it?”

Hadn’t her mom already told her she was glowing? “Wonderful.” She wasn’t about to go into any more detail than that, but she was definitely walking around with some great sexual buzz going on. And definitely looking forward to seeing Knox again this evening.

“Oh, good. I think I’ll have a piece, too.”

What...?

Her mother chortled. “Honey, you’ve definitely got a one-track mind today. The pie...I’m going to have a piece of pie.”

Right. She was still looking forward to getting naked with him again tonight. And despite her mother’s words, Trudie would keep her heart to herself.

9

K
NOX
WOKE
UP
the morning after the Chrismoose finale. Christmas Eve. Today they’d head back
to Anchorage. Trudie was still snoozing. Even though she’d turned down his
official offer to spend the week with him, she’d wound up spending her nights
with him. He grinned. He couldn’t think when he’d ever been happier...even
without Mormor here. Neither had made any grand pronouncements, but he and
Trudie had quietly gone to a couple of the events together. He’d had dinner with
her folks a couple of nights. He hadn’t been totally sure how Eldon and Harriet
would take Knox and Trudie being lovers, but everything had been good. They
welcomed him back into their family as if he’d never strayed—with open arms and
warmth—much like a prodigal son.

Before they’d headed back late yesterday, Trudie’s parents had
invited him to join the family for Christmas dinner tomorrow. Knox had readily
accepted. He did notice that Trudie remained quiet. She had, however, been a
tigress in bed last night. They’d had very little sleep.

She blinked her eyes open.

“Morning.”

“Morning.” She sniffed delicately at the air. “I don’t smell
any coffee.”

“You’re spoiled.”

“You created the monster, so it’s your obligation to feed it.
Coffee, please.”

Laughing, he swung out of bed and padded naked into the
kitchen. Jessup ran outside while he made the coffee. Their mornings had taken
on a nice rhythm. He didn’t want to give that up. He didn’t want to give her up.
Things were so good with them...surely she knew it, too. They were good
together. He sensed—make that definitely felt—a reserve with Trudie that hadn’t
been there before, but then again they hadn’t been lovers before.

Jessup whined at the door and he let the dog back in. Trudie
climbed down the loft ladder, finally lured out of bed by the aroma of her
morning brew.

“Thanks, Knox.”

“Monster.” He made a split decision, going with his gut. He
reached under the tree and switched tags. He’d give her the earrings
tomorrow.

He straightened, the small box in hand. “Today, I get mine
first. Come on, hand it over.”

She laughed but handed him his eleventh-day gift then sat on
the couch. “See,” he said, “I’ve obviously hung around you too much and your
avarice for presents has rubbed off. You’ve created a monster as well.”

“Apparently.”

Knox opened the box. A miniature carving of a dog lay nestled
in tissue. It easily fit in the palm of his hand and bore an incredible likeness
to his pooch. “It’s beautiful, Trudie.”

“Well, now, even when you can’t take Jessup with you, you can
take his mini-me with you.”

“Thanks, honey,” he said, sitting next to her and hugging
her.

“I’m so glad you like it. You’re welcome.” She held out her
hand. “So...”

“Grubber.”

“Am I a monster or a grubber? Make up your mind.”

“How about a grubbing monster? And I’d like to make you
mine.”

A hint of wariness shadowed her eyes. “Mind.”

He took the coffee cup out of her hand and placed it on the end
table. “No, mine.” He handed her the box but she simply sat and looked at it.
“Open it.”

“Okay.” Her smile seemed strained. Instead of ripping off the
bow and paper, this time she carefully dissected the wrapping job. He wasn’t
sure if she was stalling or she sensed that this gift wasn’t like the others.
Either way it didn’t matter. He was still going to do what he was going to
do.

She lifted the box lid and gasped. “Oh, Knox, it’s absolutely
exquisite.”

“It reminded me of you the moment I saw it.” She threw her arms
around his neck and hugged him, pressing a kiss to his lips, but it was a chaste
kiss.

“Let’s see how it looks on,” he said. He plucked the ring from
the box and she handed him her right hand. Instead he took her left hand and
slipped it onto her ring finger. “Perfect fit. And it looks great on you,
too.”

She was totally flustered. “It’s very nice.”

He could feel her retreating even though she hadn’t moved but
he was determined to stay his course. He’d lost his way once before and nearly
lost her forever. He’d be damned if he’d risk that again.

He smoothed her hair back from her face and then cupped her
cheek in his palm. “Marry me, Trudie. I love you. Jessup loves you. I’ve missed
you. I don’t want to miss you again. I want to wake up to your crazy hair and
make you coffee every morning. I want us to have a couple of kids together and
grow old together, still fishing and camping and doing what we do. You’re not
just my best friend, you’re the love of my life.”

Jessup, in a moment of good timing that made up for his bad
timing earlier in the week, came and rested his head on Trudie’s knee and gazed
up at her as if to add his plea as well.

Trudie looked away from both of them. “Knox...I... This is so
hard.... I just can’t.”

“Make me understand why you can’t.”

She wrapped her arms around her knees and rested her chin on
them. “I think I finally understand what happened when Mormor died. You just
couldn’t be with me. But what if something tragic happens after we’re married
five, ten or even twenty years and once again you just can’t be with me? I can’t
go through that again. And you and Elsa have only been broken up a couple of
weeks. What if we don’t even get five or ten years under our belt? What if a
couple of months from now you figure out I was a rebound? I just can’t,
Knox.”

“I don’t know what to say to convince you, Trudie. You are
definitely not a rebound and I will never walk away from you again.”

She put her hand over her heart and tears glimmered in her
eyes. “There’s this reserve in here. It’s not that I necessarily want it to be a
part of me...of us...but it is. I can’t love you body and soul, Knox.”

She deliberately moved his ring to her right hand.

He felt as if she’d just ripped out his soul. And he could
argue with her all day, but he’d known Trudie a long time and she had a stubborn
streak a mile wide. They were at an impasse and there wasn’t a damn thing he
could do about it.

“Then I will wait. I’ll wait until your soul comes out of
lockdown. Hopefully, that’s not years and years because I’d like for us to talk
about a couple of rugrats before I’m too old to teach them to fish and
cross-country ski and all the things we like to do together.”

She pushed her hand uncertainly through her hair. “Knox, don’t
do this to me.”

“Honey, the only thing I’m doing is giving you time...and
asking you not to burn it all up before we’re too old. Now, for the second order
of business, are you going to help me take down this tree or what?”

She latched on to the subject change like a drowning man to a
life raft. “I’ll help with the tree.”

An hour later the tree had been packed away, the cabin tidied
and their luggage was in their respective vehicles. He walked her to her car.
“Drive safe. And hey, do you mind if I still show up for Christmas dinner
tomorrow?”

She wrapped her arms around him and leaned her head against his
shoulder for a moment. “Of course not.”

“I love you, Trudie.”

She hesitated and then with a nod got in her SUV and was
gone.

* * *

T
RUDIE
WALKED
the last part of the trail with hope swirling through her.
Christmas Day. She’d texted Knox, asking him to meet her at the park. She hadn’t
planned to head over to her parents’ place until early afternoon so here she
was. Snow crunched in the distance and she looked up.

Jessup and Knox crested the horizon. Love the man, love his
dog. And she did. Both of them.

Silently they walked toward one another until they met
halfway.

“Merry Christmas,” she said.

“Merry Christmas,” Knox said.

She handed Jessup a dental chew, which he promptly took and
curled up with. He hated the snow, but he loved the green bones. She figured she
owed her favorite pooch that much for dragging him out in the cold.

“Suck-up.”

She shrugged. “I figured I owed him...ya know...the snow.” She
put her gloved hands in her coat pockets. It was a darn cold Christmas Day but
she’d needed privacy and a neutral place to say what needed to be said and she’d
rather foolishly and romantically always considered this to be their place. She
fisted her hands in her pockets, fingering the ring through her gloves.

“I...uh...did a lot of thinking on the way home...”

“For goodness sake, Trudie, it’s freezing...well, it’s even
more freezing than it usually is and you always just spit things out so just
spit it out.”

“I changed my mind. Well, my mind was convinced. I changed my
heart. Well, I guess my heart was—”

“Trudie,” he interrupted her. “Are you saying you will marry
me?”

“Yes. Exactly. It’s just you were rushing me.”

He swept her up and pressed a hard kiss of promise on her lips
and then released her. “I am one happy man, but let’s walk and talk at the same
time and carry this to the truck.”

Her teeth were beginning to chatter in her head. She’d just
wanted, needed, to tell him on this spot and she kind of sort of had.

Hand in hand they jogged lightly down the path back to where
he’d parked his truck next to her SUV. They climbed into his cab and he started
the engine.

“Say it,” he demanded.

She thought about teasing him by saying how cold it was out
there, but hearts on the line weren’t teasing matters. “I love you, Knox. I
think I’ve always loved you. I’m sure I always will.”

“Body and soul?”

“Body and soul.”

The dog between them, they kissed until they kissed the cold
right out of their lips.

Jessup bumped them apart.

“I’m going to have to work with that dog,” Knox said with a
happy grin. “I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth, but what happened on
that drive home yesterday that brought you around to my way of thinking?”

“I was just outside of Anchorage when the car ahead of me
skidded out of control and hit a telephone pole. Luckily they weren’t going too
fast, and no one was hurt, but I thought it could’ve been me. Then I thought
about the way I get in the car and drive almost every day but the odds are that
I’m not going to skid out of control. Then I thought what if that driver never
drove again because he was afraid he might get in an accident because it did
happen to him once. You know what I mean?”

“I think I do. I hurt you but it would be pretty dumb to miss
out on something that was wonderful because you were worrying about something
that might, but probably won’t, happen in the future.”

He knew her, understood her in a way she didn’t think anyone
else ever would.

“I love you so much, it frightens me, Knox.”

“I know, Trudie. I feel the same way.”

She sighed and leaned in for a kiss. “On the twelfth day of
Christmas my true love gave to me...”

He cupped her face. “Everything that’s mine to give. All of
me.”

Joy, peace and goodwill flowed through her. So did desire.
“We’ve got a little bit of time before we have to head to my folks’. If I trade
places with Jessup, we could fog up your windows.”

* * * * *

Keep reading for an excerpt of
Just One
Night
by Nancy Warren.