Let Me Just Say This (9 page)

I have something to do,” she said. Now she was the one with attitude.

“Oh, ok, I ain't going to beg you to be with me.”

“I didn't ask you to beg me. I called your house and your mom thought I was someone else that keeps calling you. Who is she?” she blurted out.

“Who?”

“The person that keeps calling you.”

“I don't know.”

“Oh is that the person's name,” she pressed.

“Let me call you back.”

Just like that, no goodbye, see you later, nothing. She held the phone for almost five minutes before calling back
and when she talked to his mother, she said he left.

Cheryl was angry but she had chores to do and she didn't need her mother being on her case even more than she was for the past month.

The doorbell rang and she bounced down the three steps to the door and opened it to Shaun who stood there looking nervous.

“Well I hope this means you came over here to tell me the truth,” she said as she folded her arms without letting him in.

“Tell you what truth? I don't know what you are talking about.” He said while rocking back and forth.

“How about we start with who is calling you and why you hung up on me?”

“Look, can we go somewhere and talk?” he said while reaching out to touch her.

“About what, just tell me now”

“Not here where everybody can be in our business.” he said looking around.

“Just tell me, I am still on punishment since the whole fight thing and I ain't asking my mother for nothing,” She said while looking over her shoulder.

“Look, just ask her, tell her you have some homework you need to do with some of those smart ass kids you hang out with all the time. She'll believe that.”

“Look whatever you need to tell me, you better be doing it while you are standing here because I can't go.”

“Look…can you at least come outside?”

“Let me tell my mom first.”

She came back and plopped down on the porch and Shaun was still standing.

“So answer me this, are we still boyfriend and girlfriend?” she asked, looking up at him.

“Yeah.”

“Ok, so why are you acting like you can't talk to me?”

“Look, um…” He started shifting back and forth. “Things just ain't working out right now…”

She cut him off, “what does that mean, not working out
right now. Between us? Look, you need to stop stalling and get to talking. Let me just tell you what I know. Ever since that night a while ago, we have been arguing more and more. You barely come over any more. You hardly ever call me.”

He sat down beside her and said, “You know I love you right?”

“Right.”

“So no matter what, you won't leave me?” he asked “Well, unless you got another girlfriend, no I won't leave you.”

“Well.”

“Wait, do you have another girlfriend?” she said and jumped from the porch.”

“No, nothing like that. But you know since that fight, you been different. I never thought I would see you be so mean.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Everything.”

“Look, you didn't have anything to do with us fighting. That was going to happen anyway.”

“I just figured that if I came home with you that day…”

“So that's the only reason you came home with me that day?” She was getting louder and louder.

“No, not the only reason. But when I heard y'all might fight, I just figured if I was there she wouldn't.”

“She wouldn't what?”

“Then she wouldn't want to fight and then you was acting ghetto and like someone I didn't even know.”

“What? Are you kidding me right now? She started it. What was I supposed to do? Just let her kick my ass and do nothing?”

“Let me finish. Y'all started fighting and afterwards you acted like nothing happened.”

“I was supposed to let her just slap me and do nothing? I don't think so.”

“But you acted like you didn't care if she was hurt.”

“You have got to be kidding me. I didn't give a rat's ass whether she was hurt or not. Was I supposed to ask her if she was? She is the one who started it, so she got what she deserved. I know you are not trying to tell me that you cared if she was hurt. I know you are not going to stand there and tell ME that! What about me. I'm your damn girlfriend, not her.”

“No, not really.”

“Not really? What in the hell does that mean?”

“What I mean is. Look I made a mistake and I'm sorry for it.”

“Ok, I do not understand.” At this point she was getting frustrated. Shaun was never a good speaker especially if he got nervous but now was not the time that she felt like dealing with that.

He continued, “You have been so good for me and I love being around you. I would never do anything to hurt you.”

“What does that have to do with the fight? Jeez, you are rambling Shaun.”

“You remember when I came over to your house that night.”

“Yeah, so I knew that would come back up. So you were mad.”

“No, I wasn't mad, but something happened when I got home.”

“What? Was your mom hurt? Was your dad still there?”

“No. Nothing like that. After I left your house. I went home and took a shower and left.”

‘I know.”

“How?”

“I called and your grandma said you had left out again.”

“Yeah, so I hooked up with Kenny and Kevin. Well they had weed and beer and I went down with them and started smoking and drinking. Well, they had some girls come over and after a while, they went in back with the two of them.”

“Eww, they are just nasty” she said out loud.

“Yeah, well, I don't know what happened back there.
Anyway, I was left out there with the other girl and we started talking and she was a nice person. She ain't like people say she is.”

“Ok. So.”

“So, we were talking and then we started to kiss and…”

She didn't let him finish, “Beep, beep, and beep, back the truck up! Started kissing? You kissed some chic you didn't even know?”

“Yeah,” he said matter of factly. “And…”

“And! And! There's an and?” she was now louder than she knew she should be because Mrs. Johnson stopped digging in the dirt and turned towards her, “Don't tell me there is more!” she said, as she sat down hard beside him.

“Yeah there is,” he said while looking down at his shoes. After hesitating, he finished, “I slept with her.”

“WH- What the fuck did you just say to me?” She put her hand over her mouth as if to stop the other curse words from coming out. She jumped up and paced back and forth in her front yard.

Shaun stood and tried to grab her hand, “Cheryl, wait. Calm down, ok let me explain.”

“What is there to say? You slept with someone else and you expect me to sit here while you explain?”

“Cheryl, calm down a minute.”

“Calm down! You expect me to calm down when you tell me you slept with someone else. So after I wouldn't sleep with you, you went to the first girl who would spread her legs open for you.”

“It was an accident.”

“An accident? No an accident is a car hitting another car. Your penis going in somebody is not an accident.”

“Lower your voice,” he said while looking around. “Screw you Shaun. Oh I forgot, you already did that. With…who?”

“What?”

“Who? Who is she?”

“It doesn't matter,” he said while turning away from her.

“Like hell it doesn't. Let's think of who it could be. Angel? No she just had a baby and that would be too low, even for her. Dee? Naw, she my girl. Shelly? Nope, she got a boyfriend for the moment. So who is it?” Shaun's face was tighter than a fat woman's girdle. He whispered something. “What did you say?”

“Brenda.” He said.

“Brenda what?”

“It was Brenda. I'm sorry,” he said, but all she could see was his mouth moving. Everything around her stood still.

“You sure are. You are a selfish sonofabitch. I can't believe you would sleep with someone who has slept with almost the entire boy population of our school.”

“Cheryl, wait. Let me just explain,” he said as he grabbed her arm.

“Explain what? That when I wouldn't give it up, you call up ol' girl and she was more than willing?” she said and pushed him away.

“It wasn't like that.”

“Oh, it wasn't? Then tell me how it was.”

“Cheryl, it wasn't planned. It just happened. We were talking and then we…”

“Spare me the gory details.” As she walked away, her anger got the better of her and she whirled back and slapped him.

“She's pregnant!” he said as if her slapping him had made the words fall from his mouth.

“Get away from me,” she said to him as he tried holding her.

“Cheryl, wait. Let me explain.”

“Explain what? How long have you known that she was pregnant?”

“Since y'all got in the fight. That's why I didn't want y'all fighting, because she knew she was pregnant.”

“So it just happened that you came to my house that day. But really, so the only reason you came was so we didn't fight? You were protecting her? You make me sick!”

“I wasn't protecting her. I just didn't want you to be
fighting that's all.” She continued walking and Shaun caught her by the arm.

“Get your damn hands off of me!”

Mrs. Johnson stood up and asked, “Are you ok over there?”

“Yes, he was just leaving,” she said as she stepped inside of her doorway.

“No, I wasn't,” he said as he put his arm between the door and the jamb.

“Yes you are. Get out of here, you sorry sonofabitch! You couldn't wait for us to be together, you just had to have some ass. No wonder you didn't want to have sex with me, because you had already fucked that bitch! Then you have the nerve to give me this ring!” She tossed the ring towards him and it flew past him into the grass.

“Cheryl, please don't do this, I love you, not her!” Tears were rolling down his face.

“Well, you sure as hell don't love me, because if you did you wouldn't have slept with her!”

“Baby please,” he whined.

“Don't fucking call me that! I am not your baby; besides Brenda is having that for you! I hate you.”

“Please,” he started and pulled her back out the door.

“No, I hate you. I will never ever forgive you.” He grabbed her and pulled her into his arms.

“Cheryl, please,” he pleaded as tears were forming puddles in his eyes. “I never meant for this to happen.”

“You're damn right. You never meant for me to find out that you got somebody pregnant.”

“I didn't do it on purpose.”

“I don't care how you done it, It's over. When you think about me, stop. Don't call me; don't come up to me at school. Forget that we were ever a couple, cause I sure will. When you see me, act like I'm a stranger. You had my heart Shaun, and you, not Brenda, broke it into a million pieces.”

Cheryl felt like time was standing still.

She went back into the kitchen and started wiping the countertops and putting the dishes away from the dishwasher. This was a habit she developed when she was younger to deal with stress. She wanted to have control over something and cleaning was it. She could scrub as hard as she wanted to and not worry about breaking anything.

After getting his bags downstairs, she decided to check them to make sure he had packed everything. Ok, well maybe she was just being nosey. She unzipped his carry-on bag and marveled at the wonderful taste he had in clothes. Every suit had the coordinating socks, hankie and tie. She saw a new suit from Brooks Brothers and she saw the shirt with socks, hankie and tie bundled together.

She then saw the bag that carried his four bottles of cologne, electric shaver, mustache trimmer, tweezers, soap, two bottles of lotion, Vaseline, toothbrush, toothpaste, dental floss, and condoms.

She had passed them over so quickly she didn't think they could have been what she thought they were but when she turned over the box, it confirmed her thought. He had an unopened box of condoms.

She held the box in her hand and stared at them. To her surprise she was calm and after checking his other luggage, she put it all by the door in the kitchen, which led to the garage. She went back upstairs and laid out his
usual “traveling” clothes. Silk shirt, with no-wrinkle brown pants and brown loafers. She made sure that everything in the bathroom was laid out so that he didn't have to look for anything. She finally grew tired and crawled into bed beside him. He moaned her name and drew her close. She held her breath to stop the tears and then let her eyes close as the tears began.

Kevin awoke to the smell of coffee. At least he was not in a jail cell.

That was nice of her, he thought. She could be thoughtful at times.

Kevin walked in the bathroom and saw his clothes hanging there. Why can't she be the woman I married? The one who gave a shit about what she looked like, the one I would rush home to and make love to for hours. The one who was confident and self-assured. He walked out of the bathroom and saw the note:

Hope you have a productive trip. Be safe.

Hmm, that was the first time she hadn't made little hearts or smiley faces on her note.

He walked downstairs and filled his travel mug with hot coffee. He noticed his luggage already by the back door. A smile crept on his face.

Cory knocked at the door.

“What up Nigga? You ready?” Kevin looked at his watch.

“Damn, am I late? You ain't neva been on time.”

“Whateva Nigga, just come your slow ass on. Besides the quicker you get to the airport, the quicker you get to see her. She already there, she hit me on the cell this morning.”