Let Me Tell You Something
Read Let Me Tell You Something Online
Authors: Caroline Manzo
To my husband, Albert,
and my three children, Albie, Lauren, and Christopher.
It's been a long, crazy road and
although circumstances in life may change us,
we always manage to buckle up, hold on tight,
and end up home, in a house full of love, safely, together.
I dedicate this book to the four of you,
thanking you for giving me the happiest moments of my life.
Xoxoxoxo
With endless love, Caroline, Carijo, Mom, Bull Dog ;o)
In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.
âELEANOR ROOSEVELT
Contents
These are real, and I love my husband! I don't belong on this show!
I've never been afraid to speak my mind.
I have to pinch myself every day to make sure I'm not dreaming.
You wanna be on a reality show? You better toughen up.
I've met some amazing fans . . . this one touched me the most.
Your kid is gay? So what? He's still your kid!
Loyalty is important, but it's a two-way street.
Breakfast, lunch, or dinner: pick one meal a day to have with your family.
Big families are tough, and I haven't even begun to figure them out.
There's no such thing as a perfect Christmas.
Christmas traditions evolve; embrace the changes.
Remember: it's Christmas presence, not Christmas presents.
Always serve tea in a cup with a saucer.
For spoiled kids, my kids worked their asses off.
Talking about sex with your kids may be uncomfortable, but it's easier than an unplanned pregnancy.
Principal, I
want
you to punish my kids.
Be a parent now. You can't press “rewind” later.
The secret to being good parents is to never disagree with each other in front of your kids.
Overprotective parents raise underprepared kids.
I'm your mother, not your friend.
I'd rather you said
fuck
than did heroin.
Drugs may kill you, but your father will kill you first.
Early boyfriends are your training for Mr. Right.
Picking a man is like picking a racehorse.
Love can triumph over tragedy.
Marriage is a marathon; you gotta stay in shape!
Marrying someone I never lived with was toughâand so were our early years.
My miscarriages didn't destroy me.
For a stay-at-home mom, I've had some crazy adventures.
Cheating? It didn't happen, but it could.
How to argue with your husband so he still loves you!
I hate it when my kids break up with someone.
I'm fifty-one, but in my head I'm seventeen.
Always try to look your best; there's no reason to scare yourself every time you pass the mirror.
People think my job is glamorousâbut I think photo shoots are hell!
This face is mine and I'm not going to change it!
Don't touch my face, but tuck my tummy away.
My sons will never see me in a bikini!
I'm a badass with a heart; I cry at Kodak commercials.
Book smarts are great, but without street smarts and personality, you got nothing.
I laugh a lot. At myself. And so should you. Humor will get you through the hard times.
Everybody shits on a bowl. Never allow yourself to be intimidated.
Tell the truth. Lies will always bite you in the ass.
I may not be the smartest or the prettiest, but you will remember me.
You have only one life. Take that stage and own it.
Respect is free, but you gotta earn your keep.
There's always someone out there who's got it worse than you. Say a prayer and help them.
What am I doing here? This is probably the most frequent thought that runs through my mind these days. For the past five years I've been filming my life as part of a reality TV show, and it's been turned upside down as a result. My everyday routine is a thing of the past, and now my days can consist of anything from going to the market to going on the Jay Leno show. I never know what's about to happen, but when it does, my first thought is always, “What am I doing here?”
Over the months I worked on this book, that very thought popped into my head many, many times. I am a mother of three from suburban New Jersey. I agreed to do a TV show for one summer, just for a change from my regular routine. From the minute the show hit the air, my life changed dramatically. And now I'm writing a book?