Let Slip The Princesses of War (3 page)

Cinderella and Ms. White and I walked into the corridor where some servants waited.  “Would you please show our guests to their quarters?”  

I was really looking forward to sleeping in a real bed.  The first time in a long time and probably the last.

Then just as I was turning back to call for Pea, she pushed past me.  “I’m sleeping in the stables! I won’t spend a night under the same roof as that woman!”

Shay gave me a look and a shrug.  Not really an explanation or an apology, just a shrug.

Damn!  If Pea was sleeping in the stables, so was I.  Partners to the end and all.  Damn! I looked at Cinderella, pleading.

“No fucking way.  I’m sleeping in a palace tonight!”  Cindy never was much of a team player.

Ben jumped up as we came out of the palace and he followed us as we trudged to the stables.  There was no point in arguing with Pea.  The stable hand was surprised to see us, but he knew better than to make a fuss.  He pointed us to a loft with fresh hay and we climbed up.  Ben, who couldn’t climb the ladder to the loft, had to sleep below.  At least that was the plan.  But he whimpered and whined so much I finally had to go down and carry him up.

At least we could both sleep the whole night.  No need to stand watch at the palace, even in the stables.  As soon as Pea lay down she was fast asleep. 

But, I couldn’t sleep.  It was all too much.  And the letter Ms. White had given me for Beauty.  Well I’d be dishonest if I didn’t admit I was curious.  I lit a lamp and took out the letter.  It was sealed with Ms. White’s signet in snow white wax.  Best just forget it.

I put the envelope back into my coat and tried to get some sleep.  I eventually dozed a bit, but it was a far cry from the luxurious night in a palace bed that I’d hoped for. 

In the morning Pea and I went up to the palace.  We found Cinderella in the dining room.  And I finally had the palace meal I’d been longing for.  And it was a meal I’ll probably remember for the rest of my life. 

Ms. White came down to see us off.  Shay was, surprisingly, absent.  At least we could get on our way without her putting Sweet Pea in a bad mood. 

They brought out horses for us.  Real horses.  Palace horses, fit for princesses and queens.  The horses were loaded with as much food and water as they could reasonably carry.  There were hugs and kisses (of the air variety) all around.

“What is that dog doing?” Ms. White asked, as Ben quietly joined us. 

“Um, he’s kind of my dog.  I rescued him.  I thought I’d bring him with me.”

Ms. White bent down and took his face in her hand and looked him over.  “You rescued him?  From what?”

“A little man.” As soon as I’d said it I saw my mistake. “A gnome!” I quickly added. “A gnome was going to drown him.  I saved him.  He’s a good dog.”

She looked at Ben skeptically, then she looked at me skeptically too.  “Well, OK.  Just don’t let your pet do anything stupid, like ruin all our hopes and dreams.”

And we were off. 

I led the way.  I knew the way.  I’d ridden the way in my mind thousands of times.  Back to my old kingdom. I’d always imagined that I would be going back as a liberator, at the head of an army.  I looked at my army.  Sweet Pea, riding almost lying down, cleaning her guns; Cinderella, her ball gown bunched up in front and behind her, and I smiled.  They may not have been an army, but they were tough and strong and loyal.  Two of the best fighters I’d known.  If, by some miracle, we managed to free Beauty, and by some bigger miracle, she joined us, we might have a chance.

My mind wandered back to the envelope. 

Cinderella pulled up alongside me.  “What do you suppose is in that letter that’s supposed to make Beauty forgive and forget?”

“I don’t know.  An apology?” We both broke out laughing.  The idea!  Snow White apologize! 

“What’s so damn funny?” demanded Pea, the three of us now riding abreast. 

Cinderella told her through her laughter. “I asked Rae what she thought was in the letter.  And she said, she said, she said, get this!  She said ‘maybe it’s an apology!’” And Cinderella doubled over laughing. 

Pea just looked at me.  “An apology?  To Beauty?  From Ms. White?”? Then she started laughing too. 

We all had a good laugh then Cinderella wiping tears from her eyes asked, “No seriously, what could be in the letter?”

I told her, “I looked at it last night, it’s sealed with Ms. White’s signet.”

Pea whipped out her knife.  “Let me see it.  If you do it just right, you can slice the seal off and then reseal it with a little heat.”

I, a little reluctantly, passed her the envelope.  “Careful.”

As she worked the seal, a little wisp of smoke escaped from under the wax, formed itself into the shape of a hand and slapped her wrist.

“So, Ms. White’s used a ‘No-Peek’ spell.  If we open it, Beauty will know.  I guess we’ll just have to wait.” I told them.

“Let me take a look at it.” Cinderella grabbed it out of Pea’s hand.

She pulled out her own knife, looked carefully at the seal, and then just ripped it right open.

“I don’t give a fuck if Beauty knows what size shit I take.  I ain’t delivering any sealed envelopes.”

“Not now we aren’t.” I grabbed the letter from Cinderella before she had a chance to read it.  I unfolded it.  Inside it was even fancier.  It was printed on gold foil, like some kind of golden ticket. I pulled the ticket out and showed it to them, then I read the words.  “The bearer of this Ticket, on its presentation at the Palace, is entitled to Single Combat against Ms. Snow White for leadership of the Princess Company.” I read.  “Wait!  It’s changing!  An asterisk just appeared!  And tiny letters are forming down at the bottom, they say ‘not valid for Rapunzel, Sweet Pea or Cinderella who should be ashamed of themselves for opening private letters.’”

“Wow!” Said Sweet Pea.

“I’ll say wow!” agreed Cinderella.  “Single combat, Ms. White versus Beauty.  It makes me want to live through this suicide mission just for the chance to see it!”

“Ok troops!  Listen up!”  I shouted.  Cinderella and Pea both straightened up in their saddles and gave me their best mock salutes.  “We have a new mission priority!  The rescue and safe return of Beauty is now mission job one!  Everything else, the mystery guest, the Magic Mirror are strictly secondary.  Toss the fucking mystery prince off a fucking cliff if it improves our chances of returning Beauty to the palace alive!”

“SIR, YES SIR!” They both shouted.    

Ben who had been loping along beside us barked.

If I had to go riding off into Malevolent territory on a crazy suicide mission that just might change the course of the war, I was glad to be doing it with these two.  I mean, Pea could drink a little less and Cinderella, well, she could be somewhat less of a… princess, for lack of a better word. But nobody’s perfect.   

This close to the palace the countryside was pleasant and prosperous. The fields and farms all seemed happy and well ordered.  In a few days we would reach the edge of the Great Forest.  In past days the forest was only dangerous in the ordinary way of large forests, wild animals; wolves, lions, bears and the occasional dragon or troll, bandits and fires and all that.  Now, the forest served as the last barrier between Mallory’s territory and Ms. White’s kingdom, and so, much more dangerous things wandered its ways.  There were powerful spells that kept armies from crossing through the forest, but smaller groups of monsters could, occasionally, slip through.

We stopped to camp that first night just as the sun set.  Nobody felt much of a rush to reach the forest and the border and then into Mallory’s territory. 

Once we stopped, Pea and I set about our usual tasks.  We checked the perimeter, scouted defensible positions, gathered wood for a fire and generally prepared for the night.  Cinderella watched us with a somewhat bemused expression, as if, even after years in the Company, she’s never seen anybody set up camp. 

I staggered back to camp under a heavy load of fire wood, while Pea was sorting through the supplies we’d gotten from the palace.

“Alright if I set up my stuff over here?” Cinderella yelled.

“Sure.  Make yourself at home.”

She pulled something out of one of the pockets of her gown, an acorn I think, and set it on the ground and gave it a light tap with one of her glass boots.  Suddenly there was a light and smoke and sparkles and a swell of distant music and in place of the acorn was a giant tent, more of a pavilion really. 

“What the fuck, Cinderella!” Shouted Pea.

Cinderella shrugged.  “It’s a gift.  My fairy godmother didn’t want me sleeping on the cold hard ground.” 

I looked at her hard.  “Is there a bed in there?”

“No.  No, of course not!  Just daybeds, more like couches really.  They’re not very comfortable at all.  I promise.”

“How many ‘couches’ are in there?”

“Well, there’s three of us, so three I’d imagine.  Fairy Godmother is usually very thoughtful like that.”

“What else ya got in there?” Asked Pea.

“Oh, you know, just the usual. Magic table, bath, musicians, servants, armory, stables.”

I looked at Pea, she was as stunned as I was.  We’d been years in the field, sleeping on rocks, eating crappy food that we had to cook ourselves, bathing in streams and lakes (and not bathing more often).  Servants!

“What?” asked Cinderella sounding a little defensive.  “I mean, everybody’s got something.  Right?  Rae, you’ve got that magic hair whip, and Sweet Pea’s got that, that, super-sensitive ass.  The guys must go crazy for that.”

Pea gave herself a gentle slap on the butt, and winced a bit. “EVERYBODY loves my ass!”

“See what I mean?” Continued Cinderella.  “Well, I’ve got a fairy godmother and, well, she likes to give me presents and stuff.  What should I do?  Say, thanks, but no thanks, as long as Sweet Pea and Rapunzel are sleeping in the dirt and eating the crap that Rae cooks up, I’ll suffer too?  Hell, Ms. White and Shay and Lil’ are all sleeping in a fucking palace for the fucks sake!”

Then she opened the tent (more of a pavilion, really) flap and we looked inside.  Wow!  I want a fairy godmother!  There were crystal chandeliers, and a table groaning with food, three daybeds (more like beds than couches), a screened-off part that I assumed hid the bathing area and an armory loaded with weapons.  The soft strains of music floated in the air. 

“Where’s the servants?” Pea asked.

“Here!” Cinderella replied, with a bit of a flourish.  I think she was really beginning to enjoy showing off.  She reached under her gown and pulled out three small mice (I guess they live in there?  It seems kind of weird, but who am I to judge?).  She placed the mice on the ground and instantly they grew into three human servants. 

“Well, fuck me sideways!” said Pea, and I had to nod in agreement. 

“Shall we, ladies?” Cinderella asked, holding the tent (more like a pavilion) flap open with one hand and waving us in with her other hand.

I looked at Pea and she shrugged at me and I shrugged back at her and we walked in.  Ben tried to follow us, but Cinderella blocked his way.  “Sorry Rae, but your dog stays outside.  He can sleep in the stables out back with the horses if he wants.”

“Sorry boy. I’ll bring you a doggy bag later.”

The food was delicious and the service impeccable, the couches (more like beds) were incredibly comfortable (although Pea squirmed like she couldn’t quite find the right spot) and the screened off area hid a full bath complete with a sunken tub (more like a pool, really). 

After dinner, we grabbed a bottle of wine (for Cinderella and me) and all climbed into the tub for a nice soak.  I felt like kinks in my back, that had been there for years, were melting away. 

“Well, this has been nice.  I’ll take the first watch.  Who wants second shift?” It was going to be nice having an extra watch person.

Pea volunteered for second shift.  Second shift is hardest, since you don’t get any solid sleep time. 

“OK, I’ll wake you in a couple of hours.  Then you can wake Cindy a couple of hours after.”

I could see that Cinderella didn’t really like the idea of taking a turn at watch, but she bit her lip.

I grabbed a big piece of meat off the still full table and headed outside.  There was a chair outside the tent (more like, well, you know by now), that I swear hadn’t been there before, so I sat down to watch.  I handed Ben the meat and he lay down next to me chewing with obvious enjoyment. 

“Ingrate!” I said to Ben.  He looked at me in confusion.  I swear, sometimes, it seems like he understands every word.  “You won’t eat the food I cook for you, but you’ll scarf down Cindy’s magic meat!”

Ben gave me the doggy equivalent of a shrug, as if to say, “If you cooked like the magic table…” and went back to chewing his meal.  “I guess you have a point.” I told him and I let my hand dangle until I could stroke the fur on his back. 

When Ben finished his meal, we took a stroll (you could call it a patrol) around the perimeter.  We talked, well I talked, about things.  Things that were difficult to talk to Pea about.  Ben was a good listener.  Pea was a good listener too.  Neither was much of a talker, but Ben was sober more often. 

To be honest, I don’t think talking is all that useful.  But now that I had a listener, who wouldn’t judge me, who wouldn’t interrupt, who would keep his thoughts to himself, I couldn’t help myself. 

I told him all about my past.  My time in the tower with the witch.  How I didn’t know any better, so I thought she loved me.  How I thought her control, my imprisonment, was protection, for my own good.  How my prince heard me singing while he rode in the forest and came one night to my window.  How I let down my hair for him, the only person ever, except for the witch.  How I learned that what I had thought was love was something else.  Something dark and hateful and exploitive. 

Ben was more than a good listener.  He walked alongside me.  He nuzzled my hand at just the right moments, almost as if he understood. Sure he nuzzled my hand at other moments too.  He was a big hand nuzzler.  Still, you read it your way and I’ll read it mine. 

I told him about my escape.  About the death of the witch (supposedly), and my mixed feelings.  Sure she was an evil old witch who keep me locked in a tower and away from all human contact, for her own evil purposes, but she was also the woman I had thought of as my mother, who’d cared for me, in her own way, for years. 

I talk to Ben about the wedding.  How alone and lost I’d felt surrounded by so many people, after my whole life thinking that the witch and I were the only humans in the world.  Finally, I told him about my twins, a boy and a girl.  How they’d been born, so tiny and bright.  How my whole life came into focus at the moment of their birth.  How I’d wanted nothing more than to hold them and love them and protect them. 

And I told Ben how I’d failed.  How Mallory had lured my husband, now king, to his death with the others.  How her troops had marched on my kingdom.  How we (me) had been too weak to hold them off.  How I’d been too stupid to run while there was still time.  And finally, finally, how we’d fled too late. How my darlings had died cut down by arrows from Mallory’s troops. How I’d left them, lifeless, but still bleeding, unburied, in the dirt and run.  Saved myself.  

And the tears, which I’d held back in the palace, came now.  In the field.  With a dog.  Ben put his face against my face and gently licked my tears.

When Pea came out for her watch I was, of course, completely composed. 

“Sleep alright?” I asked her.

“Nah.  Couldn’t get comfortable on the bed.  I finally had to move to the floor.  Plus Cinderella snores like a bull.”

“Well, I’m going to give the bed a try.  See you in the morning.”

“Night.”

I opened the tent (Pa-fucking-vilion, Pavilion!) flap and we went inside.  Cinderella stirred a little as we entered.  “No dogs.” She said in her sleep.  But I just ignored her.  I lay down on one of the beds.  I’m not going to call it a couch or a day-bed just to help Cinderella feel less guilty.  Ben tried to jump up, but I pushed him down and pointed to the floor.  He lay down, whimpering softly. 

Cinderella was moving on her couch.  She’d taken off her ball gown and had changed into a night gown.  I imagine she had a full wardrobe in there.  Ben was still whimpering and I didn’t want him to wake Cindy, so I curled up on my side to make space for Ben at the foot of the bed.  He jumped up happily and curled up by my feet.