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Authors: ReShonda Tate Billingsley

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BOOK: Let the Church Say Amen
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2

“D
ADDY, PLEASE DON’T START
. My head hurts.”

Rachel rubbed her temples and plopped down in a chair at the table nestled in the bay area of her parents’ large kitchen.

“You’re just shameful!” Simon was already sitting there reading the newspaper and waiting for Loretta to finish cooking dinner. He glanced up and glared at his daughter.

“I got there in time enough to hear your sermon. Dang, it ain’t like I ain’t heard it all before,” Rachel snapped.

Simon threw down his paper. “Lord have mercy! Not only do I have a jezebel for a daughter, but she’s a disrespectful, smart-talking jezebel at that.”

Simon turned to his wife, who was removing a pan of macaroni and cheese from the oven. “Do you hear how your ungrateful daughter is talking to me?”

Loretta didn’t look up from what she was doing. This, too, was a routine argument. Simon demanding respect and Rachel unwilling to give it to him. Rachel knew her mother would’ve rather stayed out of it, but she also knew Simon expected her mom to back him up.

“Honey, don’t talk to your father that way. He is the head of this household and you will treat him with reverence,” Loretta said as she cut up more onions for the roast, which was simmering in the oven.

Rachel cut her eyes at her mother. Sometimes she made Rachel want to throw up. For nineteen years, Rachel had watched her tend to her father’s every whim. She couldn’t recall them ever really arguing. Her mother was the most passive woman she knew, a trait Rachel definitely didn’t inherit. She shook her head at her mother. If she didn’t love her so much, she’d probably hate her for the horrible example she was setting for women everywhere.

“Did you hear your mother? Revere me! That means don’t show up in my church at twelve twenty when service starts at eleven.” Simon shook his finger at his daughter.

“You only want me there for appearances anyway,” Rachel mumbled under her breath.

Simon pushed his chair back from the table. “What did you say? Don’t think you’re too old for me to smack you upside your head.”

Loretta finally broke from her cooking. “Honey, don’t get yourself worked up.” She walked over and kissed Simon on the head and shot Rachel a chastising look. She then went back to cooking. Simon glared at his daughter.

“Okay. Okay. I’m sorry. I got hung up,” Rachel said.

“Hung over is more like it. You were out drinking, weren’t you? I should have you arrested for underage drinking.” Simon stood up from the table.

“Daddy, I told you a million times, I don’t drink.”

“Yeah, and I’m the pope.”

As Simon walked away from the table, his grandchildren raced into the kitchen, followed by Loretta’s black Yorkshire terrier, Brandy. A smile crossed Simon’s face and he ruffled his grandson’s hair. He looked back at his daughter and said, “You think about what kind of example you’re setting for these kids.” He turned toward his wife. “I’m going to lie down until dinner is ready. Can you get the dog out of the kitchen, please?”

Loretta smiled and nodded. Simon threw his daughter one last scornful look, then headed out of the kitchen.

Rachel rolled her eyes, but didn’t interject as he left.

“Mama, we’re hungry,” four-year-old Jordan said to Rachel.

“Go tell your grandma.”

Rachel left for the den in the back of the house, where she sank into her father’s plush recliner. She had partied all night long and her head was pounding. She wasn’t in the mood for a bunch of noise from her children; she had to figure out who that tramp was Bobby was talking to last night. On her way home from partying, she had driven by his apartment and saw him standing outside talking to some woman. Although she tried, she couldn’t tell who the woman was.

Bobby was Jordan’s father, but not Nia’s, Rachel’s seventeen-month-old daughter. Rachel had gotten pregnant with her while Bobby was overseas with the army. Still, Bobby was the love of Rachel’s life; she was certain of their destiny together. She had tried to plot a way to get to Saudi Arabia to have sex with Bobby and pass the baby off as his. That didn’t happen and when Bobby came home to find her seven months pregnant, he was crushed. It didn’t help that Nia’s father was Bobby’s best friend, Tony. Bobby had said he wanted to marry her. Now, he didn’t want to have anything to do with her.

Rachel, however, was not willing to let go of Bobby, and no two-bit tramp was going to keep her from him.

Rachel contemplated getting up to go turn off the light so she could really relax, but she was too comfortable and decided she was so tired, a little light wouldn’t matter.

She grabbed the remote, leaned back and flipped on the television. She couldn’t believe her parents still didn’t have cable. Her father claimed it was just another avenue for the devil to do his work, so he refused to get it.

Although she could barely afford the rent on her two-bedroom apartment, she was glad to be out of her parents’ house. She had gone crazy while she lived here. Her dad’s strict rules made her life miserable. Then they didn’t have a computer or cable and she had to be off the telephone by nine.

Rachel was grateful when she moved out. Life was so much better. Granted, she still didn’t have a computer or cable, she simply couldn’t afford it. But overall, she wouldn’t trade her freedom for the world.

Rachel thought about how tight things were for her financially. It probably would’ve been best for her to stay with her parents, but she’d rather struggle all day and night than go through that again. She really should have gone after Bobby for child support, that would’ve eased some of her financial woes. But she had been reluctant to do that, so sure they would get back together. Both he and Tony, who had moved to Chicago, were giving her money, but just enough to buy groceries and get her hair done every week.

Rachel had just begun to doze off when she heard the patio door slide open behind her.

Rachel turned as her oldest brother eased in.

“David, what are you doing?” She noticed that his hair was disheveled and his eyes were bloodshot.

“Shhhh … I’m invisible.”

Rachel shook her head and kicked back in the recliner, shifting to get comfortable. “You’re a crackhead, that’s what you are.” She couldn’t tell if he was high or not. It seemed like he stayed high, despite three trips to rehab. She didn’t feel like being bothered with him anyway, so she just closed her eyes again, trying to get back to sleep. A crashing sound and her mother’s scream made her jump up.

Rachel raced into the kitchen and saw that her mother had dropped a plate on the floor.

“David! Stop sneaking around here,” Loretta said. “You ’bout scared me to death.”

“I was just messing with you, Ma.” David kept rubbing his arm as he talked. “Hey, sweet pea.” He walked over to Nia, who was sitting on the floor, and kissed her on the cheek. She gurgled with laughter. “And hey to you, little man,” he added, playfully punching Jordan in the head. “You got a job yet?”

Jordan, who was coloring a picture at the kitchen table, looked up, wide-eyed and innocent. “I’m too little to have a job.”

“No, you ain’t. I hear they’re hiring down at the bus station. You could haul luggage.”

“Unh-unh,” Jordan responded.

“You need to take your own self down to the bus station and get a job,” Rachel said.

After college David worked off and on for the state until he was injured again while trying to hang lights for a Christmas function. He’d milked the state for everything he could, and was still collecting disability.

David ignored his sister and turned back to his mother, who was picking up the broken pieces from the floor. “Where’s Dad?”

“Your father is asleep.”

“Good, ’cuz I didn’t come to see him.” David leaned down and kissed his mother. “I came to see you. How are you doing?”

“I’m fine.” She stood up, walked over, and dumped the broken pieces in the trash.

David looked nervously around. “Well, look here, Ma, I need to borrow some money. It’s just a loan.”

Rachel leaned up against the wall and crossed her arms. “People pay back loans. That would be impossible for you to do seeing as how you don’t have a job!”

David shot his sister an angry look. “Shut up! Just ’cuz you got a little pissant job at the mall, you think you know everything.”

He turned back to his mother. “For real, Ma, I’m enrolling in some classes down at the community college and I need some help paying my tuition. I have to at least put a deposit down for them to hold my classes.”

Rachel laughed. “You must think she’s stupid.”

“I said, shut up. Ain’t nobody talking to you.”

Rachel looked at her brother with disgust. His once firm skin sagged from his bones. His smooth, milk-chocolate complexion was now covered with dark splotches. Drugs had sucked any semblance of beauty out of him.

“Mama, you know he ain’t goin’ do nothing but use the money to get high.”

Loretta looked skeptically at David. “I know you ain’t back messing around with those drugs.”

“Ma, don’t listen to her. I told you I don’t mess with that stuff anymore. I’m clean. You can call my parole officer. He’ll tell you.”

Rachel curled up her lips at her brother’s bold-faced lie. He’d done three years in prison for possession of crack cocaine. You would think after that, he would’ve gone straight.

Loretta looked at her son like she was trying to gauge whether he was being truthful. “I’m going to trust you on this, David, simply because I want you to know I have faith in you.” She picked up her purse from the kitchen counter.

“Cross my heart and hope to die.” David ran his finger in a T across his chest.

Rachel couldn’t tell if her mother really believed that story or if she was just trying to lay a guilt trip on her brother.

Loretta rifled through her purse, then pulled out some money. “Okay, baby. Here’s a hundred dollars. It’s all the cash I have. You go pay for your classes. I’m proud of you. I know you have it in you to get your life together.”

David kissed his mother again. He grabbed the hundred-dollar bill and stuffed it in his pocket. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Ughhhh!” Rachel turned and stormed out of the kitchen, back to the den. Her brother had been doing drugs since a torn ACL ended his promising NFL career. He hadn’t gotten past his second year of college before he became hooked on heroin. Now, he was doing either crack or some kind of cocaine. Rachel didn’t know which, but they were all the same to her. He had never stayed clean for long after his rehab stays. Their mother was too blind to see that.

“Bye, Ma,” David called out as he walked back into the den and toward the patio door. “And, oh yeah, don’t tell Daddy. I want to surprise him about me going back to school.”

Loretta followed David out of the kitchen to the patio door. “Now, David, you know I don’t like keeping things from your father. As head of household he deserves to know these things.”

Rachel wanted to slap her mother.
Enough with this head of household crap
. Her mother went way too far with that. Rachel couldn’t understand it. It’s not like her mother was some indigent housewife who didn’t have a dime to her name or any skills. On the contrary, she was a college graduate who had been teaching second grade for over twenty-five years. She made a decent salary and was set to retire next year, so it wasn’t like she couldn’t make it on her own if she left Simon. For Loretta, however, leaving was never an option.

Rachel watched as her brother snuggled up to their mother like he was a ten year old.

“But, Mama, God says surprises are good.”

“Where does God say that?”

“I don’t know. First Leviticus, seventh verse or something. I don’t know. Just please, do me this one favor?”

Loretta hesitated. “Okay, baby, I won’t say anything. I’ll let you tell him. He’s going to be so excited about you going back to school. I knew you would make us proud.”

David kissed his mother one last time and walked out the door. Loretta stopped him. “David?”

“Yeah, Ma?”

“I trust you, okay?”

Rachel could have sworn she saw a glimmer of guilt flicker across her brother’s face, but it passed so quickly she couldn’t be sure.

Rachel scrunched up her nose, disgusted. This whole scene was absolutely sickening. How could her mother be so spineless when it came to Simon and so dumb when it came to David?

Rachel pondered it briefly as she dropped back in the recliner and made herself comfortable enough to sleep again.

3

S
IMON GRINNED WIDELY
at the newspaper article. His church was being featured for a new children’s center they had just established in the neighborhood.

This was the twenty-sixth time in fourteen years Zion Hill had been profiled in the local newspapers. Each article hung in a frame around the conference room, his office, and the fellowship hall. Simon was extremely proud of his role in the church’s growth. Zion Hill had less than fifty members when he first became pastor. Now, there were over nine hundred. The church could’ve had more, but it couldn’t compete with the new mega, ten-thousand-member churches springing up all over town. Simon wasn’t quite sure he wanted Zion Hill to become that large. He enjoyed knowing the faces of those sitting in the pews to hear his sermons.

Simon had been an associate pastor at another church before moving to Zion Hill. He was thrilled about getting his own church, and determined to make it a success. He was fulfilling a lifelong dream. As a child, he used to pretend he was preaching before a congregation. He had always dreamt of the day when he’d have a real, live congregation—one that could make its mark on the community.

Zion Hill was his baby. He had literally given birth to it and watched it grow. Now, he devoted every waking moment to ensuring its success. His children had often complained about all the time he put into the church, but Simon knew his devotion to Zion Hill was the Lord’s will, and prayed that his children would understand.

“Knock, knock.” Delilah Alexander, the church secretary, poked her head into Simon’s office. “Pastor Jackson, are you busy?”

Simon smiled. Delilah was a stunningly voluptuous woman who left many a man swooning. Simon, however, was enamored with her because of her efficiency. He had been through several secretaries over the years and Delilah was by far the best. The only problem he had was that she seemed smitten with him and was forever making innuendos. Flirting was a line Simon never, ever crossed. Loretta was a good woman and he had been faithful to her since the day they said “I do” thirty-four years ago.

“Yes, Delilah, what can I do for you?”

Delilah shifted nervously. “I was wondering if we could talk?”

“Sure, come on in and have a seat.”

Simon pointed to a chair in front of his desk. Delilah sat down and seductively crossed her legs.

Simon tried to contain his smile. If he had a dollar for every time some woman came on to him, he’d be a rich man.

He knew part of it was physical. Women were always telling him how handsome he was: At six feet two inches, he was still in great shape. His short, cropped Afro and beard were peppered with gray. Loretta was always telling him that his beard was the icing on the cake of his mocha complexion.

He also knew a lot of women were intrigued by his faithfulness. Some wondered what he saw in Loretta. She was plain but had a gentle look about her that he found absolutely intriguing. She was a little on the heavy side and very quiet. As one woman had so boldly told him once, “She’s not the type of woman I’d expect to see you with.” However, he was in love with his wife. He had met Loretta at Langston University in Oklahoma. They were both out-of-state students attending on academic scholarships. Loretta was from a small town in Arkansas and Simon was from Texas. They began dating at the end of their freshman year and stayed together until they married senior year. After graduation, they returned to Simon’s hometown of Houston, where he began his career in the church.

Loretta was a good, God-fearing wife, and Simon was a good, God-fearing man. He took his vows seriously. He knew a number of preachers who slept around but he promised he would never be one of them, no matter how many women threw themselves at him. He almost slipped up with a woman he met at a Baptist conference a few years after he first married. In fact, he had planned to meet the woman the last evening of the conference. That was the same day Loretta told him she was pregnant with their first child. Simon took that as a sign from the Lord. He called the woman, cancelled, apologized, and had never come close to cheating again.

“Yes, Sister Alexander, what can I do for you?”

“It’s my boyfriend. May I?” Delilah motioned toward the Kleenex on his desk. Simon nodded and she pulled two tissues out the box and started dabbing at her eyes. “I thought we were going to get married, but I just found out he’s cheating on me. I went to Radio Shack, bought one of those devices that let you record incoming calls. I heard him on the phone talking to this woman I thought was my friend. They were making plans to meet again. It seems this has been going on for nearly a year now.” Delilah started to cry softly. Simon knew this was the point when he should get up and hug her, but something told him that’s what Delilah was counting on. She leaned forward, exposing her cleavage. “Why can’t everybody be like you, Pastor?”

Simon sat up straight in his seat. He wanted to make sure he put on his serious face so that Delilah wouldn’t get any ideas. “I’m sorry you’re hurting, Delilah. I know it’s hard, but you need to tell yourself you deserve better anyway. This was God’s way of showing you that.”

Delilah sniffed and lowered her eyes. “Pastor … I know you’re a married man …”

Simon held up his hand and cut her off. “And
I
know
you
know how much I honor my wife and respect my vows.” Simon always felt the need to reiterate that to the women in the church.

Delilah didn’t look up. “I know you honor your wife. It’s just … well … I just … hope one day I can find a man who feels the same way about me.”

“Be patient. God has your soul mate out there. He’s just waiting for you to get
yourself
ready before he brings him to you.”

“You think so?” Delilah sniffed.

“I know so.” Simon smiled. “Now, about this fool boyfriend of yours. What’s his name?”

“Roderick.”

“Roderick. Well, do you want me to get some of my boys to rough him up?” Simon joked.

Delilah laughed and dabbed the rest of the tears from her face. “You are too funny, Pastor.”

Simon cracked his knuckles. “You sure? You just say the words. I ain’t always been a Christian.”

Delilah got up; the tears were finally drying up. “I’m sure.” She looked at Simon with a smile. “Can I hug you?”

Simon felt like he had gotten his point across so he figured there’d be no harm in hugging her. “Of course.” He got up and walked around his desk. Delilah took him in her arms and squeezed him tightly. She acted like she never wanted to let him go.

“Funny and faithful,” she whispered.

Simon pulled back. “What did you say?”

“I said thank you. Thank you for restoring my faith in men.”

Simon’s expression became serious. “Don’t put your faith in men, Delilah. Put your faith in God and everything else will work out.”

Delilah hugged him again, then turned to walk out of the office.

“Oh, and Delilah?”

“Yes,” she replied, turning back around.

“Stay away from Radio Shack. When you go looking for trouble, nine times out of ten, you’ll find it.” Simon smiled.

“Duly noted,” Delilah replied, before turning and walking back to her desk.

Simon breathed a sigh of relief. He loved talking with people and helping them work out their problems. If he hadn’t pursued the ministry, he probably would’ve become a full-time counselor. He was pretty good at it, too. Except when it came to Rachel and David. Jonathan listened to Simon’s advice, but those other two? No amount of counseling in the world would get through to them.

Simon quickly shook off thoughts of his children; they just got his blood pressure up. He returned to his desk to do what he liked best—reading about the success of his church.

BOOK: Let the Church Say Amen
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