Let's Call the Whole Thing Off (24 page)

‘Oh, she was here earlier, Mum, but I’ve sent her back to her room with all the little ones. They were getting seriously excitable. I just needed a bit of quiet time to myself for a moment. I think she went off to bribe them with sweets.’ I glanced at my watch. ‘They’ll be back soon. There isn’t too long to go now.’

Ed had wanted me to ditch Sophie as my bridesmaid, but how could I? Besides, if I was going to forgive him then why wouldn’t I forgive her too? And if the chief-bridesmaid was suddenly and unexpectedly off the guest list then there would have been some very awkward questions asked.

To be honest, I didn’t hold out a lot of hope for our relationship after the wedding, but if that was the only casualty to come out of this horrible mess then it was a small price to pay. Friendships changed all the time. People moved on. From now on my priority would have to be to my husband.

I felt a shiver of anticipation run through my body at the thought of having a husband in a few hours’ time! I could hardly believe that the moment was almost here. That it had almost come to nothing. I wandered over to the window and watched as some of my guests gathered on the sweeping gravel drive, overlooked by imposing roman statues. Steps led down to a terrace with a stone balustrade that gave magnificent views of the sweeping lawns, an ornate fountain standing proud in the centre. It would make the most wonderful setting for the wedding photos.

‘Shall I make the first toast of the day?’ Dad said, handing us both a very welcome glass of fizz.

‘Here’s to our beautiful daughter. May this new chapter in your life bring you a great deal of love and happiness. It’s nothing less than you deserve. We love you, darling.’

‘You know you’re going to make me the proudest mother in the world today,’ my mum said, beaming. ‘We’re so looking forward to welcoming Ed into our family, aren’t we, Derrick?’

We chinked glasses and I knew that my special day, the one I’d looked forward to for so long and the one I’d thought at several points this week would never actually come to fruition, was finally beginning at last.

‘Of course, it’s not too late to change your mind,’ Dad said, a mischievous look on his face.

‘Oh, Derrick, do stop it!’ Mum elbowed him in the ribs, giggling. ‘Why would she want to change her mind? Ed is the man of her dreams. And on that note we ought to get a move on or else they will think you’ve changed your mind.’

***

Mum went ahead of us, leaving me alone with Dad, and that’s when the nerves threatened to overwhelm me. I’d planned for absolutely every eventuality but I couldn’t have anticipated just how nervous I would feel. I held onto Dad’s arm, my legs feeling impossibly weak beneath me as we made the slow walk down from the bridal suite to the Gothic drawing room where I knew everybody would be waiting for us. The thought of seeing all my friends and family waiting expectantly, and Ed especially, was thrilling and terrifying in equal measure.

I had to give it to Louise, the wedding organiser who had annoyed me so much earlier in the week, she’d done a marvellous job. Her only crime had been to phone me at the wrong time; just as I’d found out about Ed’s infidelity, but I wouldn’t hold that against her. Seeing all her wonderful organisational skills and handiwork come to fruition today, she was very much forgiven. She and her team had done an amazing job, transforming the already grand reception hall into a fairy-tale setting. Flowers festooned the elaborate staircase and all the available antique furniture. I’d taken a sneaky peek earlier at the Great Hall, too, with its sixty-foot ceiling where we’d be enjoying our wedding breakfast later; with all the tables dressed with starched golden linen and elaborate candelabras, it looked truly magical.

Everything was in place for the most amazing day ever and to think that I very nearly threw it all away. I looked up at my dad and smiled. Thank goodness I came to my senses just in time.

As we heard the string quartet strike up the opening bars of Bach’s ‘Ave Maria’, my dad squeezed my hand and we made our entrance into the drawing room. A sea of friendly faces turned to greet us as I floated down the aisle in a dreamlike state, not knowing which way to look first as I picked out one familiar face after another. There were gasps of admiration as people spotted my dress for the first time and friendly little waves given and kisses blown as I was swamped in the love radiating around the room.

Soon I was standing beside Ed and he turned to greet with a look on his face that told me just how much he loved me. I felt like the luckiest girl alive. I glanced over my shoulder to see Ben give me a reassuring nod and smile. To my other side, I was aware of Sophie’s overpowering purple presence. She’d been right, that colour didn’t suit her at all. What had I been thinking? I ignored the pang of irritation this realisation made me feel. Nothing, absolutely nothing, would spoil this day.

The registrar addressed the congregation, her words washing over me in a warm and fuggy glow as the enormity of what I was doing finally hit home. My difficulty in concentrating wasn’t helped by my dress, which was digging into my ribcage, and I was beginning to wonder if it wasn’t inhibiting my breathing too. Not only were my legs feeling weak beneath me but my head had gone all fuzzy too. For some reason, an image of Dave appeared in my head and I quickly glanced over my other shoulder hoping that I might be able to catch a view of him. And then I realised that, of course, he wouldn’t be here. Wherever had that ridiculous thought come from?

I looked at Ed and he gave me a small smile, and I leant across and peered closer into his face to try to make out what it was that smile was actually telling me. That same funny feeling I’d experienced in the restaurant the other night swirled around in my stomach. Was it really just the other night? Or was it the other month? Or the other year? I found it hard to remember now. But the feeling was just the same. It was Ed I was looking at, I knew, but it was almost as if I didn’t recognise him. It occurred to me that I didn’t know him at all.

I remembered both Ed and Sophie telling me that what had happened between them had been a big mistake. Ben had said the same thing too. And I could understand that. They were absolutely right. People did make mistakes and sometimes you had to forgive them those mistakes. And I’d surprised myself by realising that I could actually do that. I could be that big person who did all the forgiving.

But what I couldn’t do was forgive myself. For making the biggest mistake of my life. I turned to Ed, aware that everyone’s eyes were fixed upon me.

‘I’m sorry, Ed …’

‘Anna?’ Panic flashed across his features as a quiet murmur rippled around the room.

‘I’m really, really sorry Ed … Everyone, but I can’t do this.’

‘Thank Frank for that!’ cried a distinctive voice from the back of the room. I span round to see Neil jumping up and down on the spot, waving frantically, his excited demeanour completely at odds with everyone else’s shocked expressions.

‘Good for you, Anna!’ I turned to the other side of the room to see Mandy and Bob standing up to deliver a two-person rapturous applause.

I felt a swell of warmth that my new friends had made it after all. Driving home yesterday I’d insisted Ed stopped the car so I could ring Mandy and Neil to invite them along to what was turning out to be the mother of special days. I hadn’t believed for one moment they’d actually come!

‘Noooooo! STOP IT!’ Mum’s voice cut through my thoughts and the commotion. ‘Don’t be ridiculous, Anna. Of course you can do this. It’s all you’ve ever wanted. Derrick, this is your fault!’

‘Anna, don’t!’ Sophie hitched up her purple satin dress and dashed over to my side accompanied by six little purple princesses. ‘Don’t throw all this away. I’ve told you! What happened between Ed and me – it was nothing. It was only ever about the sex, I promise you.’

A collective swoon whooshed around the room.

Ed buried his head in his hands, the entire congregation dropped open their mouths as one, and my mum, god bless her, lunged at Sophie, brandishing her handbag around her head, before my dad stepped in to separate the pair of them.

Sorry
, I mouthed to the room as a whole as I ran back the way I’d come, the string quartet’s soothing tones replaced by some inappropriate whooping from Neil and some renewed enthusiastic clapping from Mandy and Bob. Ben gave me a surreptitious thumbs-up as I threw my bouquet over my shoulder, not even bothering to see where it landed.

Even without my support committee I knew I’d had a very lucky escape indeed.

Chapter Seventeen

Twelve hours later I entered the airport terminal flanked by Ed and Ben who were both wheeling my suitcases behind them. Sophie, nursing a black eye, trundled behind with a further trolley.

I hadn’t wanted them to come, but they all insisted they wanted to see me off. And after everything they’d done for me earlier in the day, I felt as though I couldn’t really refuse.

I’d left them all to deal with the aftermath of my last-minute change of heart while I rushed up to my room to peel myself out of what must have qualified as the most uncomfortable dress of the century. Once I resurfaced back downstairs, dressed in a pretty floral dress, the initial sense of shock amongst the guests had been replaced by an eagerness to get any kind of party started.

It seemed a shame for all the hard work and organisation that had gone into the day to go to waste so after a quick conflab with Ed, we decided the reception would go ahead as planned. And it did, minus the actual marriage bit, of course.

Mum took a little settling down, but Ben took her to one side and I wasn’t entirely sure what it was he told her, but after a teary ten minutes, she was back in the Grand Hall, make-up reapplied, sipping on her champagne, intent on having a good time.

And boy, what a fantastic time we all had. It was the best non-wedding I’ve ever been to. It was the only non-wedding I’ve ever been to, but if the success of ours was anything to go by, I felt certain it could take off big time.

The meal was sublime, the speeches were hastily discarded and in their place a random selection of people stood up to tell jokes, perform charades and Uncle Brian even brought out some of his old magic tricks. The highlight of the show was definitely when Ed stood up and performed his much practised karaoke version of ‘My Way’, without the karaoke accompaniment. It went down a storm.

Afterwards, the disco continued the feel-good theme. The DJ played a selection of hits from the 60s, 70s and 80s, and everyone, literally everyone, danced until their feet couldn’t take the pace any longer. Mum, egged on by Neil who had taught her some pretty nifty dance moves, was still going long after most people had collapsed back in their seats at the tables.

It would definitely rate as one of the happiest days of my life and I couldn’t wait to see the photos when I got back from my honey-holiday. The photographer, slightly non-plussed at first at not having a bride and groom to photograph, had given into his creative tendencies and taken shots of the guests, individually and in groups, against the magnificent backdrop of the stone statues.

Now, collapsing into a plastic seat at the airport terminal, I knew I would have nothing but happy memories of my non-wedding day.

Ben came and sat down beside me, grabbing hold of my hand. We looked across at Ed and Sophie who were checking the departure boards. For a moment I wondered if they would now get together properly, now I wasn’t in the way to stop them. Did I even care?

‘I know I probably shouldn’t say this, but as this weird and wacky day has turned into a day for being absolutely straight with people, I think you’ve done absolutely the right thing in not marrying Ed. He was never right for you.’

‘What?’ I turned to look at him aghast.

‘Nah. Ed’s a decent enough guy, but he’s a bit one-dimensional. You’d have got fed up with him before your first year anniversary.’

‘Is that so?’ I laughed, chiding him with a shake of my head. ‘Didn’t you think to tell me that years ago?’

‘I wish I had,’ he said, looking serious now. ‘Perhaps then it would have been you and I marrying today instead. Who knows, maybe it isn’t too late for us yet. You only need to say the word and I’ll jump on that plane with you.’

‘Oh, Ben,’ I said, dropping my head on his chest. ‘You know I love you so much. You’ve been such a good friend to me. But I need to go and do this on my own. It’ll be good for me.’

‘Yeah,’ he said, ruffling my hair fondly. ‘Just remember I’ll be here for you when you get back. If you need me, that is.’

For a moment I entertained what might have happened if Ben and I had got together all those years ago. It was a pretty lovely flight of fancy, but I knew Ben and I would only ever be friends. Our friendship was far too precious, I’d decided, for it to be ruined by us falling in love with each other. Another place, another lifetime maybe.

As for Sophie, I knew our relationship was over, utterly and completely. It saddened me to realise that, but some things you just couldn’t come back from.

‘You have a good time, won’t you?’ she said now, looking as though she realised it too. ‘We’ll have a proper catch-up when you get home, yeah?’

I nodded, but we both knew it was never going to happen. I turned away, not wanting to prolong this awkward moment any longer, coming face to face with Ed. My heart sighed. Only one more goodbye to go.

‘Well,’ he said, clasping my head between his hands, his gaze far too close for comfort. It would have been too easy to reach up to kiss him, to melt into his embrace and for everything to be as we’d once both hoped it would be. And for a moment there I thought I was lost, but I held my resolve. ‘I really wish we could be here under different circumstances and I was coming with you after all. But, hey, it’s not too late to change your mind.’

I shrugged. No last-minute wobbles. They were definitely not allowed.

‘I know I messed up big time,’ he went on. ‘And I think I know in my heart that I’ve already lost you, but I just want you to know that I love you. That I will always love you. I still want to marry you. We could do the whole wedding thing again. Just think what fun that would be. All I ask is that you think about it while you’re away. I’m here for you if you need me.’