Letters to Katie (36 page)

Sawyer paced the length of the Ottos’ front porch. Laura watched him, worried. He
hadn’t said anything since he’d arrived a few minutes ago to pick her up and take
her to work. Whatever was going on with him, she knew it had to do with Cora.

Finally he slowed his steps. Turned to her and grabbed her hand, still without speaking.
Then he ran his thumb across her face, touching the raised ridges of her scars. She
resisted the urge to turn away, knowing he would protest. He had told her not to be
ashamed of them, and she wasn’t, for the most part. But they were a reminder of her
mistakes, of trying to take control of her life instead of letting God be in control.
Her skin had healed from the cuts Mark had inflicted. But they would never fully disappear.

Sawyer leaned forward and kissed the raised ridge on her right cheek. His feathery
touch made her smile. She brushed her hand over his homespun shirt, one Anna had made
for him. One day she would be making his shirts.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” she asked, stepping away.

“You have to ask?”

“It’s Cora.”

He sighed and sat down in the wooden rocker on the porch. He squinted at the rising
sun. “It’s always Cora. A couple days ago I took her for a drive around Middlefield.
When she got home she didn’t say much, but at least she didn’t ask me to call the
airport. But this morning she wanted to go to the call box. She didn’t tell me who
she was calling, but I knew.” He looked at her. “She’s leaving.”

“And you feel guilty about that.”

“Yes. She’s just now to the point where she doesn’t need her crutches anymore. But
she’s frail. She’s ill.” He glanced away. “I can’t force her to stay.”

“Just like she can’t force you to
geh
.”

He nodded. “I’m worried about her. I’ll keep worrying about her. I know I’m supposed
to give this over to God—”

“But not overnight.” She sat down next to him. Brushed a strand of his long brown
hair from his forehead. “I’d like to talk to her.”

“You won’t change her mind.”

“I know.” But she had a debt to repay. She wasn’t sure how she was going to do it
with her meager salary at Byler and Sons. But she couldn’t let Cora leave without
promising to pay her back. And she wanted to reassure her that she and Sawyer wouldn’t
abandon her. Her mother had even liked the woman. “She’s too fancy for her own
gut
,” she’d said. “But she wants what’s
best for Sawyer. Anyone can see that, even if they don’t agree with her.”

“Do you mind if we go now?” Sawyer asked. “I can drop you off to visit with her on
my way to work. Anna can bring you to the shop when you’re done.”

She smiled. “It’s
gut
to be back at work.”

He gave her a small smile. “Yes, it is.”

A short while later Sawyer dropped Laura off at the Bylers’. She waved to him as he
left for work and gave him a confident smile. Yet it wasn’t long before she could
feel the dread building in her stomach. The last time she saw Cora, the woman had
tried to pay her to leave Sawyer. Laura figured she would try the same thing again.
But she was Sawyer’s grandmother, and she was struggling. If there was anything Laura
could do to help, she would try.

After greeting Anna with a hug, she went back to Cora’s room. She knocked on the door,
softly at first. No answer. Maybe Cora was asleep. She knocked again, a bit louder.

“Yes?”

Laura opened the door, smiling. “Hello, Cora.”

“Laura.”

Cora was lying in the bed, her ankle propped up on pillows. She looked fatigued. Yet
the glance she gave Laura was as cool as ever.

“Why are you here?” Cora asked.

“Sawyer told me about your ankle.” She linked her fingers together, still standing
by the doorway.

“And the Parkinson’s, I’m sure.”

“I came by to see how you were doing.”

“I’m managing.” She swung her legs over the side of the bed. She was dressed in light
blue slacks and a long-sleeved white shirt with a wide collar.

“I’m sorry you’re not feeling well.”

“I don’t need your sympathy. Or your pity.”

The words stung, but Laura pressed on. “I know things didn’t turn out the way you
planned when you gave me that check. I’m not going to apologize for loving your grandson.
I do apologize for taking your money, however. And I will pay you back.”

“You don’t have to.”

“
Ya
, I do—”

“Laura.”

Cora’s tone softened, surprising Laura. “I won’t accept your money. I have all the
money I need.”

“I know. But I always repay my debts.”

“An admirable quality.” Cora sighed. “I’ll be returning to New York soon. You and
Sawyer can get on with your lives.”

“But we want you to be a part of ours.”

“I don’t see how that’s possible.”

“There are letters—”

“Letters. Of course. I guess I’ll have to be satisfied with that. If he remembers
to write.”

“He won’t forget you.” She sat down next to Cora. “
We
won’t forget you. We care about you.”

She looked at Laura. “You care about each other more.”

Laura didn’t know how to answer that. But she could tell Cora what was on her heart.
“I understand how important
Sawyer is to you. Even after we’re married, he can visit. And you’re always welcome
to stay with us.”

“Thank you for your generosity.” Cora looked away.

Laura stood. She could see why Sawyer was worried. “The wedding is in November. I
hope you will come.”

Cora didn’t say anything. Laura turned and walked toward the door. She was almost
through the doorway when Cora’s voice stopped her.

“If Sawyer had to marry an Amish woman, I’m glad it’s you.”

Laura smiled. It was as close to Cora’s acceptance as she would get, and she was thankful
for it.

Katherine returned from her first full day at Mary Yoder’s tired but happy. She was
glad to be back into a routine again. Instead of resenting what she didn’t have, she
was thankful for her job, and now the good health she had. Her friends at work were
happy to see her, as were some of her regular customers. She had spent years seeking
happiness and fulfillment from Johnny, and in the process had neglected to see that
it was all around her.

As she pulled into the driveway, she saw an unfamiliar buggy. When she drew closer,
a man about her age with blond hair got out. She pulled up beside him.

“Can I help you?”

He gave her a puzzled look. “Hi, Katherine.” Then he smiled, revealing a dimple in
his left cheek.

Her eyes widened. How did he know her? Then she suddenly realized who he was—not from
memory, but from his letters. “Isaac.”

His grin widened. “For a minute there I thought you forgot who I was.”

She put on a smile. “Let me take care of
mei
buggy and horse. I’ll meet you on the porch.”

“That’s all right. I can help you.”

“You don’t have to.”

But he was already leading the horse to the barn. Katherine got out of the buggy as
Isaac unhitched the horse. She jumped out and took the reins. “I can get this. Really.”

He gave her a doubtful look. “Okay.”

He followed her into the barn. She put Chestnut into his stall, made sure he still
had hay and water, then closed the stall door. Isaac stood right in front of her.

“I have to admit, I thought you’d be a little happier to see me.” His smile faded.
“Maybe I should have gotten the hint when you didn’t write me back.”

Katherine winced. “I’m sorry, Isaac. I didn’t write you back because I was sick.”
She explained the meningitis and her memory problems.

That seemed to give him renewed hope. “Now it all makes sense.” His blue eyes brightened.
“I’m sorry you were ill. I didn’t know meningitis could cause memory problems.”

“Not always. In my case I can’t remember the three weeks before I became ill.”

“Then we should start over.” He held out his hand. “I’m Isaac Troyer. Would you like
to get a cup of
kaffee
somewhere?”
She looked at his hand, hesitating to accept it. Knots twisted in her stomach. “Isaac,
a lot has happened while you were gone. There was a reason I didn’t write you back.
And it wasn’t just because of my illness.” She turned away from him. “I’m sorry, but
we can’t see each other.”

“What?”

Katherine spun around at the frustration in his voice. His blue eyes, sparkling just
a moment ago, now filled with emotional storm clouds. “I’m sorry, but—”

“You’re
sorry
?” He glared at her. “I’ve spent the past five weeks on the road with
mei daed
, thinking about you, writing to you.” The muscle in his jaw pulsed. “I even forgave
you for not writing back. I couldn’t wait to get back to see you, and now you’re turning
me down?”

Katherine took a step back. She hadn’t expected him to get this angry. Was there more
between them than his letters showed? “Isaac, were we dating before you left?”

“You said you’d
geh
to a singing with me.” He folded his arms over his chest. “I consider that dating.”

She considered it jumping to conclusions.

“Did you find someone else?” he asked. “Like that guy who was talking to you at Mary
Yoder’s?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“It doesn’t matter.” He unfolded his arms. “I thought you were a nice
maedel
. I didn’t expect you to lead me on like this.”

Her chin dipped to her chest. “I didn’t mean to. Isaac, there’s no one else. I’m not
ready to date anyone right now.”

“So when do you think you’ll be ready?”

She shrank at his penetrating gaze. “I—I don’t know. I’m leaving it up to God.”

“And what if God is telling you to date me?”

“He will let me know.”

Isaac flailed his arms. “So I’m just supposed to wait around for you to make up your
mind?”

“Nee.”
She went to him. “You have to live your life.” She paused. “This sounds strange,
but I know how you feel.”

“You have
nee
idea how I feel.” He walked away from her. “You wasted my time, Katherine. I won’t
be sticking around.” He sneered. “You’re not worth it.”

Her cheeks heated from his insult. Moments later she heard him leave. Her father walked
into the barn carrying a post-hole digger. “Who was that?”

“Isaac,” she said weakly.

“Ah. He seemed to leave here in a huff.”

“
Ya
. I hurt his feelings.”

“I can’t imagine you doing that, Katherine.” Her father leaned the digger against
the wall.

“Oh, I did.”

“Seems the shoe’s on the other foot now,
ya
?”

How right he was. She’d let Isaac down, even though she hadn’t meant to. She not only
understood his anger, but also realized how Johnny must have felt when he apologized
to her. She could see both sides now, and she didn’t like being on either one of them.
She only hoped Isaac would be able to forgive her someday.

“I take it you told him the same thing you told Johnny?” her father asked.

“Not in so many words, but
ya
. I did. He wasn’t too happy.”

Her father put his arm around her shoulder. “Don’t worry. You’re doing the right thing,
waiting on God. The right
mann
will understand that. And he will love you for it.”

Katherine nodded. She didn’t doubt her decision, but that didn’t mean it was an easy
one. “I hope so.”

After work Laura, Sawyer, and Lukas headed home. Laura relaxed into the comfortable
conversation, realizing that although she treasured her time in Ethridge, she had
been right about Middlefield. It was her home.

“Will you stay for supper?” Lukas asked. “Sawyer can take you home later. I’m sure
he wouldn’t mind.”

Laura chuckled at Sawyer’s mischievous grin. “I don’t think I’d mind either.”

As they approached the Bylers’, Laura saw a sleek black car parked in the driveway.

“That’s weird,” Sawyer said. “Wonder who’s here?”

“
Geh
ahead inside,” Lukas said. “I’ll take care of the buggy.”