Letters to Katie (38 page)
She looked at the letter but didn’t unfold it. Warmth flooded through her, not only
from the sun, but from deep inside her soul. She’d just thought about the peace she
possessed from being free of Johnny, of envy, of perceived unfairness and unanswered
prayer.
Now he’d brought her back into his life.
But not forcefully. Not out of guilt or manipulation. She ran her fingers over the
plain, folded paper. She could at least read the contents. But not now. She held it
in her hand and looked for the rest of her family.
Later that afternoon, with her father dozing on the couch, her mother reading a copy
of
Family Life
, and Bekah with her nose in another book, Katherine slipped outside. She walked away
from the house to the field next door. As the sun set in the distance, streaking the
cloudy sky with its beautiful golden color, she began to read the words on the paper.
Johnny’s words.
Dear Katie,
It’s taken me a good long while to write this. I’m not great with words. You know
that, since I’ve said some pretty dumb stuff to you before. I thought maybe if I wrote
things down they would make more sense to you, and to me. Guess we’ll have to see.
I’ll just come right out and say it. Katie, I miss you. I know you want to wait on
God’s timing to see if there’s a chance for us, and I agree. But I can’t let things
end between
us the way they did. Not without telling you how much you mean to me. You always
will, no matter what God decides. You are a beautiful, kind, loving woman. Any man
would be blessed to have you as his wife.
I promise to honor your request to let you go. I won’t bother you. I won’t pursue
you. But I will always keep you in my heart. You will always be my Katie.
Love, Johnny
Katherine folded the letter and pressed it against her chest. She smiled, tears streaming
down her cheeks. Knowing Johnny loved her was one thing; knowing he respected God
enough to allow Him to do His will in their lives made him even more special. She
wiped away her tears and hurried into the house.
“Katherine?” her mother called from the living room. “Everything all right?”
Katherine came inside and paused at the bottom of the stairs. She looked at her mother
and smiled. “Everything is wonderful!”
As she ran upstairs, she could hear her sister’s voice. “What’s gotten into her?”
Bekah asked.
“I don’t know,”
Mamm
replied. “It doesn’t matter. It’s just
gut
to see her happy.”
Once she reached the bedroom, Katherine sat on the edge of the bed and read Johnny’s
letter again. She folded it and put it on her nightstand. She knelt beside her bed
and pulled out a small wooden box, the one her father had
given to her for Christmas years ago. She opened it. Inside were a few keepsakes—her
first crocheted granny square, a bookmark she made when she was in kindergarten, the
leaf Johnny had brushed off her shoulder the day he pushed her in the tire swing so
long ago. She placed Johnny’s letter in the box and slid it back under her bed.
Then she opened the drawer in her nightstand and pulled out a small notebook and pen.
She sat down on the floor, leaned back against the bed, and opened the notebook.
Dear Johnny . . .
October
Katherine stood in the corner of the Ottos’ living room, watching the mass of people
as they congratulated Sawyer and Laura on their wedding. Across the crowded living
room she saw Laura’s parents seated at a long table, visiting with her own folks,
her mother and father making sure the Stutzmans felt welcome.
In another corner of the living room she saw Leona seated next to Cora and Emma Byler,
Lukas’s mother. Sawyer’s grandmother looked out of place, covered in sparkly jewelry,
wearing a black sweater with a fur-lined collar that Katherine suspected was real.
The contrast between the three women was startling, yet they spoke to each other as
if they were old friends. Cora didn’t seem the least bit uncomfortable with her flashy
presence. She even used a sleek wood cane Sawyer had made for her in the workshop,
painted a shiny black. His wedding gift to her, Laura
had explained a few days ago. Cora gripped it tightly, as if she would never let it
go.
Katherine sighed and leaned against the wall, content for her friends. For the first
time, she attended a wedding where she didn’t feel the sting of jealousy. The grip
of pity. The yearning for a man who would never care for her as much as she cared
for him.
Everything was different now. She had put God first in her life. And she knew she
had Johnny’s love. That was all that mattered.
She continued to scan the room, looking at family and friends dressed in their Sunday
best, enjoying the fellowship. Her sister Bekah was talking not only to Melvin but
to Caleb too. Katherine was pretty sure both young men were smitten with her. But
typical of Bekah, she didn’t seem to notice.
As people meandered through the crowd, the room began to feel a bit stifling. Katherine
had started for the back door when a little girl in a plum dress and black
kapp
tapped her on the arm. It was little Velda Miller, Moriah and Gabriel Miller’s oldest
daughter.
“I’m supposed to give you this.” She handed Katherine a tiny folded piece of paper.
Katherine accepted it. She crouched down to Velda’s level. “Who is it from?”
“Can’t tell.” Velda leaned forward. “It’s a secret.”
“And you’re
gut
at keeping secrets?”
“If it means I get candy.” She held up a peppermint stick, stuck it in her mouth,
and walked away.
Laughing, Katherine opened the paper.
Meet me outside, by the barn.
She frowned, folded the paper, and stepped outside on the back deck. The crisp October
air held a fall chill, and a cool wind lifted her
kapp
ribbons. She stepped down from the deck and walked across the Ottos’ backyard. Past
the animal shelter, past the energetic barking of dogs well cared for. All the way
out to the far reaches of the yard, where a grove of trees brimming with autumn color
surrounded an old oak barn.
Then she saw him, right before he disappeared behind the barn. She looked around to
see if anyone was watching. The few people outside were mostly kids getting ready
to play a game of baseball on the other side of the Ottos’ house. She rushed to the
barn and turned the corner, expecting to see him there.
She was alone.
“Psst.”
Katherine spun around and saw his hand poking out of the barn’s open back door. He
motioned for her to come inside. When she entered, she shivered, still cold from the
chilly air outside.
He appeared in the center of the barn, his jacket slung over one shoulder. He didn’t
move toward her, didn’t say anything. Just stood there, looking at her. Then he smiled.
And something inside her shifted.
She gasped, the sensation so strong, so real, she couldn’t
describe it. An emotion she’d never felt before. Her hand rested on her chest, feeling
her pulse thrum beneath it.
“Hi, Katie.”
“Hello, Johnny.”
“I see you got my anonymous note.”
She chuckled. “Not very anonymous. I can tell your handwriting anywhere.”
“Well, we’ve been writing to each other for months now.” The smile never left his
face.
Katherine grinned. Since he’d sent her that letter in July, they wrote each other
at least once a week. Through his letters she found out that Cora Easley had purchased
his farm, offering to rent it back to him, with him eventually owning it outright.
He had taken her up on the offer, but instead of moving back into the run-down house,
he stayed at home, doing some part-time work for Byler and Sons and picking up a few
jobs at Gabriel Miller’s blacksmith shop. Gradually he was fixing up the place, making
it his own.
I’m going to do this right
, he wrote to her shortly after signing the deal with Cora.
That house isn’t going anywhere
.
“I wasn’t sure you’d come,” he said.
They gazed at each other for a moment. Katherine could barely stem the emotions running
through her. She felt as if she were looking at Johnny Mullet through new eyes—and
indeed, she was. But he was different too. His last few letters had detailed how he
was forging ahead with the life God wanted him to lead. She hadn’t realized how afraid
and insecure he was until they spent time apart, getting to know
each other all over again through their constant stream of correspondence.
She looked at him. The
bu
she thought she loved all these years had become a
mann
. A man of God.
And suddenly she
knew
.
“Johnny—” She choked on his name.
He nodded and closed the distance between them. He draped his black jacket over her
shoulders, swallowing her in its warmth. Then he held out his arms and she stepped
into them.
This was what she had wanted all along—the security of Johnny’s love. Until now he
couldn’t offer it. Until now she couldn’t accept it. They had to be apart and discover
who they were as God’s children before they could be together.
He moved away but kept one arm around her waist, rubbing his fingertips over the small
of her back. “Does this mean we can start over?”
She nodded.
“Ya.”
“There’s a singing this Sunday . . .”
“I think we’re a little bit past singings. Don’t you?”
He stroked the top of her cheek with his thumb. “I suppose so.” He gazed at her, dropping
his hand from her cheek and removing his arm from her waist. “Then what should we
do?”
“This.” She took his face in her hands and drew his mouth to hers, his jacket slipping
off her body and falling to the ground. When their lips touched, she closed her eyes.
He pulled her against him.
After the kiss, his chest heaved. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Was it all right?”
He moaned and stepped away. “More than all right.” He shook his head as if he was
clearing it and picked up his jacket. This time he handed it to her, keeping his distance.
“You never cease to surprise me.”
She took the jacket and put it over her shoulders. “Sometimes I surprise myself.”
Johnny laughed. Moved closer to her, but just out of reach. Then he took one more
step and entwined his fingers with hers. “I love you, Katie.”
“I love you too.”
“The time is right,
ya
?” He grinned again.
Katherine gripped his hand. “
Ya
. It’s exactly right.”