Leveling The Field (Gamers #4) (10 page)

Chapter Thirteen

The breakfast conversation lingered in the background as they played
Aric’s Revenge
back at Ethan’s house. At first, Lissa had worried she’d overstepped, pressed too hard. But
while Ethan was subdued, he seemed thoughtful.

As time went on, he loosened up a little more, talking to himself about the game, and she swore she was in the same room as E-Rad. Well, she
was
in the same room as E-Rad, just an older version.

She liked this one better.

The current E-Rad spoke with less bravado and more facts. Showed off less and analyzed more. He spoke about the game’s patches, how they improved play, and how to get the most out of the game.

He was so fascinating to listen to that she was barely paying attention to her own player and walked in front of Ethan’s dragon just as he flamed up a house. And her with it. “Oops,” she said with a wince. “That’s no good.”

“Lissa,” Ethan growled.

“What?”

“You offed yourself! Pay attention.”

“I am paying attention.”

He shot her a look.

“I am! I’m paying attention to you, because you’re more interesting than this video game.”

His fingers stopped moving and they stared at the screen as a house burned. He didn’t look at her as he spoke. “My sister said my inner E-Rad was re-emerging.”

“She’s right, but this is E-Rad 2.0. A more mature version. I like you better now. You got on my nerves sometimes before.”

He turned to her slowly with a grin. “Oh yeah? Tell me please.”

She tapped her fingers on the controller. “You used to do that pistol thing. When you killed a main guy. It was pompous.”

“Pompous?” his voice rose.

“Pompous. And your winking was sleazy.”

He threw back his head and laughed. “I happened to like my wink.”

“Sleazy,” she repeated.

He tossed his controller to the side and rose from his spot on the floor. Lissa fell onto her back on the couch as he climbed over her. With a quick flick of his fingers, the button on her jeans was undone, then her zipper was down, and his hand was inside of her panties.

She arched her back and moaned as a finger pressed against her. He licked his lips and gazed down her body. “Sleazy, huh? Is this sleazy?”

She gripped the armrest behind her with both hands and bit her lip as he dipped a finger inside of her. “Shit, Ethan.”

“I love how you respond to me. Right now, you’re panting already, spreading your legs as far as you can because you know I’ll make you feel good. You know I’ll make you come so hard on this couch that you see stars.”

She cried out as another finger joined the first. The heel of his palm pressed against her clit as he leaned down and nipped at her jaw. “One touch and you’re so wet for me. You want to know what makes me happy, Lissa? This. You. And me. Breakfast and video games and my fingers deep inside of you. That’s what makes me happy. This is fucking living.”

She gasped as he pressed harder, thrusting his fingers in and out of her, his thumb now stroking her clit. “This makes me happy, too,” she said breathlessly.

His lips were at her ear now. “I’d be even happier if you came. I’m going to watch you, memorize every emotion on your face, every sound you make.”

She reached down and gripped his wrist, grinding against his hand as she felt the orgasm start. “Oh shit.”

He pulled back immediately, those blue-flame eyes on her. “That’s it. Come for me.”

She didn’t need the command, because it was already starting. Staring up at him, the orgasm rocketed through her, a fire that spread out to every limb. When she collapsed back onto the couch with a slump, panting, Ethan’s fingers were still inside of her. He pulled them out slowly, and without looking away, sucked them into his mouth. She watched as he licked them then leaned down and took her mouth in a hot, wet kiss.

When he pulled back, there was a smirk on his lips. She reached for his pants, but he jerked back. “I’m okay.”

She frowned. “But you’re hard, and I need to do something to pay you back for that amazing orgasm.”

He laughed softly. “You’ve already paid me back. And this…this feels good. To want. I want to keep wanting for a little while longer.”

She understood that. Boy she did. So she nodded. “Okay.”

He slid back down to the floor, adjusting himself with a grimace. Then he picked up his controller. “Want to play a little longer?”

She took a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll try not to get burned up this time.”

He grinned.

Later that afternoon, Lissa sat with her knees under her chin, clicking through the pictures she’d taken of Ethan that morning. She hadn’t told him yet because she wanted time to look through them, choosing the best ones. She didn’t plan to touch them up in any way other than color correcting and fixing some lighting issues. It was important to her that Ethan see these raw images.

His smile when they parted ways that morning was so much lighter than she’d ever seen it. It rattled her how much she cared and how much he’d wormed his way into her heart.

Her project would be completely without him. After what they went through, and the future she was increasingly desiring with him, she didn’t want to approach him about it. She’d tell him after she showed him the snapshots.

On the screen now was one of the pictures she’d taken blindly, the camera held at arm’s length over his still body. She knew this was a little creepy, but she’d done it. And she was determined to show them to him. She wished she would have done this for Rona—taken pictures and let Rona see her how everyone else saw her.

A picture was more than a picture. Her shots were the way she saw the world, the way she saw the subject of the photo. They were a snapshot in time and from
her
lens.

As her gaze traveled over the way the light caressed his face, the smooth planes of his skin, and the mottled scars, all she saw was the beauty of Ethan. He was a man who felt his scars more inside than outside, and she hoped she was doing something, even if only a little, to help him heal.

He was going to have to do most of the painful process on his own.

“Who’s that?”

A voice startled her; she dropped her legs to the floor and twisted in her chair, a hand at her chest. She blew out a breath when she spotted Angel standing in the doorway. “You scared the shit out of me. I didn’t hear you come in.”

He smiled and sank down on the edge of her bed. “You never do when you’re working. So who’s that?”

She bit her lip. “Uh, this is Ethan Talley. E-Rad.”

Angel squinted to see the screen closer. “Really? You took pictures of him when he was asleep? Damn that’s creepy.”

She rolled her eyes and closed the photos, because it felt weird to have someone look at them, even if it was her brother. “Don’t judge me.”

“Did you have a good night?”

She squirmed as she rotated her chair to face him. “Yes.”

He snickered. “So he agreed to be in your project?”

She shook her head. “No, I’m not asking him anymore.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t think it’s right. Not now that we have this…relationship.”

“It’s a relationship now?”

She was barely sure herself. “I think so. We get along so well, and I think we make each other better people. He lost someone like we did, but he handled it completely different. He shut off rather than let his family in, you know?”

Angel’s face was sober. “Shit.”

“So he doesn’t need to be placed in the public eye right now. I was thinking of my project first, before the human. And that’s wrong. Humans come first.”

Angel was silent for a moment. “You do think of people first, Lissa. That’s why you’re doing this project.”

“I know, but—”

“You’re thinking of who’s involved and what this project means every step of the way. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

She swallowed thickly as her eyes began to sting. “Okay.”

He stood up and stretched. “So, you hungry?”

“I had sausage gravy and biscuits this morning, so I don’t think I’ll eat for two days.”

“You ate that delicacy without me?” He pouted.

She laughed. “Give me a month to work off the calories from this morning and we’ll go out for the same thing.”

“Fine,” he huffed. “I’m going to make a sandwich. “You okay?”

“Yep.”

He gave her a wave and walked out.

She turned her chair back to her computer and opened up the beta site where she and Daniel were preparing the project before it went live. Ethan’s pictures would look perfect in it, as they were taken in Lissa’s portrait style. But it wasn’t meant to be. Those pictures were for her, and for Ethan, too. He’d see soon that he was worth more than a scarred, grumpy hermit.

…

Ethan’s finger hovered over the track pad. This was the fourth damn time today he’d tried to look at videos of himself and chickened out. He’d had so much coffee that he thought his finger might click on a video just from jittering.

Sund
ay was supposed to be a relaxing day for him, and instead he’d spent most of the morning pacing and guzzling caffeine.

He inhaled sharply, exhaled slowly, and pressed on the green arrow.

The sounds of shooting immediately filled his living room. And then, his own voice. “Hey, E-Rad here. Got some requests to play the new
Assassin’s
Creed
, and since Ubisoft was kind enough to send me a copy, I’m gonna show you all the tricks and shit, eh?”

E-Rad winked at the camera. Ethan winced. Damn, that
was
kind of sleazy.

But as Ethan watched E-Rad talk and move and make exaggerated noises as he slashed a bad guy’s throat, he didn’t seem like such a stranger anymore. Ethan
was
E-Rad. Treating that guy like a totally different person wasn’t doing Ethan any favors at working to bring himself out of the trenches.

If he wanted to move on, if he wanted to get over this hump and be the kind of man who could stand next to Lissa with pride, then he had to do this. He had to see that, while he was older, he was still the same person. He could still be charming and outgoing and…maybe even handsome. He could still be a decent brother, lover, and maybe even a decent son again.

“I think this game is gonna be Top Dawg on the E-Rad scale, what do you think, guys?”

Ethan snorted a laugh. If he was going to do anything in front of the camera again, he was getting rid of the E-Rad name and any type of outdated lingo like Top Dawg. For fuck’s sake.

He made a pistol shape with his fingers at E-rad on the screen and fired.

On Monday, Grant stormed in to Ethan’s office and then closed the door behind him. Ethan lifted his head and watched the man pace a couple of times, his mouth twitching, before standing in front of his desk, hands on his hips. His face was red, his hair grooved from his fingers.

Ethan folded his hands on his desk in front of him and waited his friend out. He hadn’t talked to Grant since their argument Friday. He knew his friend. He knew Grant would bust in here all blustered and unsure whether to keep yelling at Ethan or apologize.

Finally Grant opened his mouth and pointed a finger at Ethan. “You—!” He stopped abruptly and changed gears. “I’m sorry. For Friday. I know I said a lot of things I shouldn’t have, but I thought about it over the weekend and I talked to Chloe about it, and I really think I wasn’t too far off base. I don’t think asking you to step up for this company is so bad. I’m not sorry for pushing the issue.” He held up his hands. “But I’ll back off now. I realize that getting in your face isn’t what you need and I’m sorry for that. Sometimes I fuck up this friend and future brother-in-law thing, okay?”

Ethan nodded slowly, trying not to smile as Grant wore himself out. He must not have done a good job, because Grant narrowed his eyes and cocked his head. “Are you smiling?”

Ethan tugged down the corners of his lips. “No way.”

Grant stepped closer. “No seriously, I think you were smiling.”

“Certainly not. I take your apology seriously.”

“Are you drunk?”

Ethan laughed. “What the hell? No, I’m not drunk.”

“Then why are you being weird and agreeable and doing that weird thing with your lips? And laughing? What?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Grant gave him a look but then rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I’ll leave you alone now.” He backed away toward the door. “I just… Yeah, I’m done nagging you, okay?”

“Good,” Ethan said.

Grant placed his hand on the doorknob. “No more hounding you to get back in front of the camera.”

“Excellent.” He straightened some papers, and as Grant was one step out of his office, Ethan said. “Because I’m going to do it.”

Grant froze. He didn’t move for a good twenty seconds. Ethan knew because he counted. Then slowly, Grant walked backward, shut the office door again, and only then did he turn around.

His mouth was open, his wide eyes blinking. It took him a little longer before he said, “I’m sorry, what did you say again?”

Ethan met his gaze. “I said I’ll do it. On my terms and my own way. But I’ll tell the truth about who I am and get back in front of the camera as the face of
Gamers
.”

Grant loosened his tie and flopped down on the leather chair across from Ethan’s desk. “Jesus Christ, man. Being your friend is fucking exhausting.”

Ethan smiled. “So what do you think?”

“Is this because of our argument Friday? Did I badger you?”

He held his arms out to the side. “Do I look badgered?”

Grant looked at him thoughtfully. “No, you look…happy. Actually. What the hell is going on?”

“So, I thought about what you said. And then I had a conversation over the weekend with someone special, and she said…well, she said a lot of things, but every one seemed to settle all the scattered puzzle pieces in my brain. The picture of my life is clearer, and I don’t like how it is now. So I need to take steps to get to where I want to be. This is the start of that.”

Grant’s eyebrows lifted. “Who is this special someone?”

Ethan cleared his throat and picked up a pen, tapping it against his desk. “The photographer that was in here?”