Leverage (2 page)

“I’m telling you, there was a guy up there, in Leo’s room, on the balcony, looking down on us,” I explained for the third time to a pair of uniformed police officers. “He had something to do with this. I know it. I heard them arguing right before Leo fell.” I rested my hands on my hips as my eyes flitted back and forth between the two cops.

The Asian one tipped his hat back with his finger and motioned over to Katy, who was being questioned by another pair of 5-O. “Your girlfriend doesn’t agree,” he said.

“She’s not
my
girlfriend. She’s Leo’s. Or…she was.” I closed my eyes, sighed, and shook my head. “Fuck.”

“Either way, she says your friend was depressed,” the cop explained. “Thinks he jumped on his own.”

“He didn’t jump. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. He fell. Backwards. Like he was pushed. Why would someone trying to kill himself fall over backwards?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe he didn’t want to see the end coming.”

“Dude,” I scolded, “that’s so fucked up. He was my friend, and now he’s dead.”

The cop shook his head. “Guess you didn’t know him as well you thought.” He closed the notepad he’d been writing in and excused himself. He and his partner joined the others over by Katy.

I stared over at her for a long moment, until my attention was drawn back down to Leo. Once the coroner had declared him dead, a squad of firemen wrapped his body in plastic, loaded it into a rescue litter, then pulled it up the steep slope and stuffed it into a waiting ambulance. It drove off without using the siren. Guess it wasn’t an emergency anymore.

I joined Katy as the cops finished questioning her. One of them gave her his card and told her they’d be in touch. He said the same to me then returned to his squad car.

I turned to Katy. “I don’t get it. Why would you tell them it was suicide? Leo was up there arguing with someone. You were there. You saw—”

“I told you, Conner, that guy left, and Leo was alone when I came down. I’m sorry if you think—”

“Don’t give me that shit, K. Something was wrong. That’s why you called me. I heard the two of you fighting with someone.”

Katy wouldn’t look me in the eye. She hugged her arms tight around her middle and tried to hide behind her veil of long hair. Impatient, I grabbed her arms below the shoulder and shook her once.

“Look at me!” I hissed.

She weaseled out of my grasp and stepped back, tucking her hair behind her ears. Her hands trembled, and when she finally looked me in the eye, I saw that hers were red and coated in a thick film of tears. She blinked, and they spilled over onto her pink cheeks and dropped onto the damp pavement at her feet.

I folded her into my arms. “I’m sorry, Katy. I’m so sorry.”

I started to quake with built-up anger and sadness at the loss of my best friend, and squeezed Katy even tighter. Her arms were folded between our bodies, her hands covering her face as she sobbed into my chest. I held her for a minute then pulled back. I captured her face between my hands and pushed her damp hair from her forehead. I kissed her there first, then the top of her head. She laid her hands flat against my chest.

“He didn’t want to tell you, Conner. Leo was too proud. He didn’t want you to know,” she said then started to cry again.

I tipped her chin up. “Know what, Katy? For God’s sake, tell me what happened.”

“He owed money, Conner. A lot of it, to that guy, the one you heard him arguing with. He didn’t even have enough for tuition. His loan didn’t go through. He stole from his parents to keep that guy off his back, but he found out that Leo wouldn’t be able to pay him everything he owed. He threatened him, and his family, too. Leo was terrified, said it was no use, that he’d be better off dead so at least his parents could collect the insurance.” She dropped her chin and leaned her forehead against my chest. Her arms snaked around my back. “He did it, Conner. Leo killed himself.”

She started to sob again, so hard, her weight collapsed under all the tension. I caught her before she fell to the pavement and rocked her back and forth, my cheek pressed to the top of her head.

I couldn’t believe this was happening, that my best friend was dead. Why hadn’t he come to me, trusted me? I thought we were close, the brother I never had. Now, even that was gone, and I felt alone, like I’d never have anyone else who truly understood me, not like Leo, who’d listen to the shit about my fucked-up family and not judge. I thought I knew him, but I guess I was wrong. That felt like a dagger to the heart, and just like Katy, I wept for the loss.

We stood there comforting each other until the street emptied of campus personnel, until all the cops left, until every last student disbanded and went back to their rooms.

Then the rain began in earnest, all over again.

Like zombies, Katy and I walked back to McCarty Hall. We were both cold and soaked through, drained and exhausted, and didn’t even bother to say goodnight. She just swiped her ID card through the lock and disappeared into her dorm. I peered through the trees toward Hansee Hall, but I couldn’t face going back to my room. Instead, I ran—straight to the parking garage where I kept my car.

I dropped into the cold leather driver’s seat and closed the door, but I just sat there, staring out the windshield, unsure of what to do or where to go. My head fell back against the headrest, eyes closed, and I let the emotion of the evening’s events wash over me. I slammed my fists against the steering wheel, angry that I had somehow missed what surely were signs my best friend was in serious jeopardy. I thought hard, but could recall nothing, not one indication that Leo had been in trouble. I grew pissed. Something about this just didn’t add up, but thinking about it made my head hurt. I needed to get the fuck away from this place.

My fingers trembled as I shoved the key into the ignition. I turned it with a sharp twist, and my ‘98 BMW M3 roared to life. The car had been a graduation gift from my father, a payoff. My mother was mad as hell he’d bought it for me.
It’s like handing him a loaded gun
, she’d railed. But as much as I hated accepting bribery from my father, it was just too cool to pass up. I tried to always respect my mom’s concern and keep my speed down, but not tonight.

My tires squealed against the concrete as I sped off. I made my way to I-5 south through downtown Seattle with no idea where I was headed, until I exited onto I-90 east. Without even realizing it, I was being pulled, like a magnet, back home to my mom’s. Built for speed and performance, I pushed the Beemer for all it was worth, tearing over Lake Washington, through Bellevue, and exiting in Issaquah at the foot of The Sammamish Plateau, where I used to live back when my parents were still married.

I’d worked hard to get out of that place, and was relieved it’d paid off. I was a junior when I entered the U-Dub. Now, a year later, at only nineteen, grad school was an application away, and that scared the hell out of me. Life was moving way too fast. I’d feared leaving Leo behind. He’d always kept me grounded and on pace. But now…with him gone, I didn’t know what the hell to do. That’s why I was turning to my mother.

I was not, however, looking forward to running into my new stepfather. It wasn’t personal. I didn’t know him that well. That was part of the problem, really. Tyler and my mom had shared some horrendous experience down in San Francisco, not that she ever told me what that was exactly. But whatever had happened, it was bad. Fucked her up for a good long time.

I’d not been allowed home for well over a month after her return, but I’d heard she’d been the victim of a home invasion, and that she’d run off to San Francisco afterwards. Didn’t make much sense to me. All I knew was, when she finally came home a couple weeks later, she was pretty banged up on the outside. But the worst part was the inside.

She was broken somehow, and very lonely. Her eyes appeared haunted, empty, almost yearning. I often heard her crying when she thought I was asleep. When I’d ask her about it, she’d always brush me off. Then, nine months later, Tyler Karras entered the picture, and everything changed. I never knew what to expect when I came home for a visit.

I didn’t feel all that welcome anymore. Tyler was always nice to me, friendly, respectful, but there was something off about him, the way he moved around my mother, hovering, like he was trying to protect her from something. And she always seemed to move with him, or more like into him. It was weird and made me uncomfortable.

I pulled into their driveway and turned off my car. I could see Ty and my mother through the large picture window at the front of the house. She was sitting on the sofa with a book in her lap, and Ty was standing over her, reaching for her hand. He pulled her to her feet and folded her into his arms then started to slow-dance about the small living room. He twirled her once, and she smiled up at him. He pulled her back and spooned her from behind. They swayed to music I couldn’t hear. His hands splayed across her rounded tummy, and his chin rested on her shoulder. He nuzzled her neck as she leaned her head back against him. I looked away. I had to. It hurt too much to watch them. I’m not sure why. My mom was happy again, and that should’ve been enough for me, but it wasn’t. I didn’t trust him.

I closed the car door quietly and walked around the side of the house, entering through the kitchen door so I wouldn’t disturb their private moment. The kitchen was bathed in soft light that came down the hall from the living room. Music played in the background, old blues, Etta James, I think, very sensual. I removed my shoes and padded silently down the hall until I heard my mother’s voice.

“Okay then, what about Malia?” she asked. “It means beautiful flower in Hawaiian.”

I took two more steps then stopped, peering around the end of the wall. They stood close, face to face. He held her with one arm around her back, her right hand in his and the other along his shoulder as they continued to sway to the music. Ty’s brow wrinkled in concentration.

“Hmm, I’m not sure,” he replied, his British-Aussie accent milder than I remembered. He gazed back down into my mother’s eyes, a slight smile on his face. “Not bad, I guess. Not good for a nickname though, unless you want to call her…Mal?”

My mom giggled. “You want a nickname, huh? Okay, what about Nicole?”

Tyler came to a halt and pulled his chin inward, his gaze intent yet confused.

“We could call her Nicki,” my mom added, her hand returning to her belly.

Tyler’s face softened. “You’d do that? For me? Name her after my brother?”

She tilted her head and smiled. “I know you two had…problems, but…Nick was a good man. He saved you, or tried to, at least. I think his sacrifice is worth that. Don’t you?”

As I wondered what she meant by that, Ty gathered her back into his arms and returned to their slow-dance. He nodded into the crook of her neck, but didn’t reply. When he rotated a step in my direction, I could have sworn I saw tears in his eyes. My mother wrapped her arms around him and held him tight. I slipped back down the hall and threw my keys onto the kitchen table, loud enough so they’d hear and know they were no longer alone.

“Conner?” Mom’s voice called down the hall. Then she mumbled something to Ty.

“Yeah, it’s me. I didn’t want to track mud in through the front door.”

She rounded the corner, Ty close on her heels. She flicked on the kitchen lights, and her face broke into a huge grin, her eyes sparkling and her cheeks glowing with a soft blush. She rushed toward me and threw her arms around my neck. I stooped to accommodate her, my eyes locked onto Ty as he hovered a couple feet behind her. He smiled with his lips held tight and offered me a nod.

“Oh, it’s so good to see you!” Mom said then pulled back and laid her palms to my cheeks. “What are you doing here so late? Don’t you have an early class tomorrow?” She backed away and moved to Tyler’s side. That was his cue to reach out and shake my hand.

“Conner,” he said. “Great to see you. How’s school?”

I nodded the obligatory confirmation that everything was okay, even though it wasn’t. “Good,” I said. “Hangin’ in there.” I glanced back at my mom.

She looked me in the eye and tilted her head, her brow scrunched together. Her smile faded and her bottom lip pouted out just a hair.

“Something’s wrong. I can tell,” she said.

That was all it took to for me to lose whatever small measure of control I had. I dropped my head and raised my hand to my eyes, pushing at them with my fingers to stop myself from crying. It didn’t work. My shoulders rolled inward, and I let out a sob. My mother rushed to my side and directed me to the kitchen table. I dropped into a chair and allowed myself five seconds of crying then pulled myself up straight. My mom looked at me with concern. She covered my hands with hers and waited for me to explain. I tilted my chin up, closed my eyes for a moment, and took a deep breath. Then I looked from my mom to Tyler and back again.

“It’s Leo. He’s dead. He fell from his balcony at McMahon.” I looked back down at our clasped hands and shook my head. “Cops think he killed himself. That’s what Katy told them, but I don’t think he did. I think…” I swallowed hard and looked back up at each of them. “I think he was pushed. I think someone killed him…on purpose. I think Leo was murdered.”

I started to sob again. My mom popped out of her seat and knelt at my side. She threw her arms around my shoulders, and I leaned on her, letting myself go as I buried my face in her neck like I was six years old again.

“Oh, honey,” she said. I felt her shift and lift her head, probably looking to Tyler, as she always did.

He cleared his throat. “Um…I’ll just…give you two some privacy. Call if you need me, Hannah.”

She nodded, and I heard the soles of his shoes skim back down the hall. I pulled myself up straight and wiped my face with the back of my hand. Mom took her seat again and reclaimed my hand, rubbing her thumbs across my knuckles as she stooped to gain my attention.

“Why does Katy think Leo killed himself?” she asked. “More importantly, why do you think someone else did? Did you see something?”

I thought about those eyes peering over the balcony railing, the way they’d seemed to smile, the purpose and evil I felt certain lurked behind them. I shook my head then stood and began to pace, running my fingers through my hair before I caught my mother’s intense gaze.

“I’m not sure what I saw, but…yes, I did see…something. Somebody. On Leo’s balcony, right after he fell. He didn’t jump, Mom. People don’t jump backwards. He fell. And there was someone up there with him, no matter what Katy told the cops.”

“Why would she lie? Or was she just mistaken, too shook up to know what happened?”

I stared at the table and chewed my bottom lip, trying to come up with some excuse, but there was nothing except a nagging feeling. I swung my gaze up to hers.

“I think Katy was…hiding something.”

Mom’s brow rose. “Like what?”

“I don’t know.”

I told her everything that had led up to Leo’s fall, what I’d seen and heard, what Katy said she’d seen, and what the cops seemed to believe.

“That doesn’t make much sense to me,” Mom replied.

“To me either.” I let out a long sigh, uncertain what to do next. “Mind if I crash here?” I asked. “I’m really tired and don’t want to go back there tonight. To be honest, I don’t know if I want to go back at all.”

“Oh, sweetie, please don’t make any rash decisions, not when this is all so raw and you’re still so upset. We’ll talk in the morning after you’ve had some rest. Okay?” She stood and walked over to me, put her hands on my arms and rubbed them in reassurance.

I nodded but kept my eyes down. She turned me around and walked me down the hall to my old bedroom. She switched on the nightstand lamp and turned the bed down then pulled open a dresser drawer and pulled out an old pair of sweats, laying them on the bed.

“There, you’re all set. Just like the old days,” she said with a nostalgic smile.

She walked past me, but I turned after her and grazed her arm. She turned to face me. I just stared at her, my eyes roaming over her face.

“I love you, Mom.”

She smiled again, so warm, so much like I remembered when I was little and we were all still happy. “I love you, too, honey.” She touched both hands to my cheeks and pressed a kiss above the bridge of my nose, like she’d done a million times when she’d tucked me in as a child. With a last squeeze of my hand, she turned and left, joining Tyler in their bedroom, and closing the door against me with a soft, but certain click.