Lies in Love (11 page)

“I’m
nervous.” Belinda’s second glass of wine had made her
exceedingly honest. She dropped her purse on the table near the front
door.

“Don’t
be. This is your date. We only have to do what you want to do.”
Landon stayed near the door. He knew it looked like he was playing
the role of the gentleman, but deep down he just couldn’t bring
himself to get any closer to her, because she wasn’t Talia. She
didn’t look the same, she didn’t sound the same, and with
the faint smell of cigarettes lingering on her clothes she definitely
didn’t smell the same.

“Oh,
I want this.” Belinda began undoing the buttons of her pants
and Landon’s heart sank, realizing his heart just wasn’t
in this anymore.

He
stepped closer to her, grasping her hands in his and kissing her
neck, all the while thinking of Talia. He decided that trying to push
her out of his mind wasn’t helping him, so maybe if he imagined
Belinda
was
Talia it would make the next few hours a little more bearable.

He
imagined Talia’s soft, supple
skin beneath his lips. He imagined her amazing curves hidden beneath
the clothes that he slowly moved his hands over. He even tried to
imagine her legs, long and sensual underneath the low-rise jeans
Belinda wore. As hard as he tried, the pungent smell of cigarette
smoke lingered, jarring his thoughts. He paused briefly, feeling
Belinda tug his shirt from his pants. Wracked with guilt, he pushed
past the smell and tried harder, employing
Talia in his mind: her beautiful hazel eyes with their fiery amber
fighting against her iris, her luscious lips, how her bottom lip
looked so full while her top lip flattened when she really smiled,
her auburn hair, the way it whipped in the wind and always looked
just perfect in its windblown state.

He
was picturing every inch of Talia as he ran his fingers through
Belinda’s hair and began to kiss along her collarbone. The
texture of her hair was all wrong, so he moved his hands to her
waist, fumbling with the hem of her shirt, lifting it infinitesimally
just to feel her skin beneath. When it didn’t have the same
softness as he imagined Talia’s would have, he removed his
hands and stepped away from Belinda. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s
okay.” Belinda stepped forward, grasping his collar the way
Lady Vanna did and he immediately pulled away.

He
couldn’t look at her, because he knew the next words he said
may deepen her fragile state, but he had to say them. He couldn’t
go on like this. “I can’t do this. I’m so sorry.”

Belinda
stood frozen, looking defeated and confused. “I don’t
understand.”

“I
know. I’m sorry. This is supposed to be easy for me, but it’s
not.”

Belinda’s
jaw dropped.

“It’s
not what you think. It has nothing to do with you. It’s all me.
My mind is somewhere else, with someone else.”

“Are
you kidding?” Belinda began fumbling with the buttons on her
jeans.

“No,
I’m sorry. This has never happened before.”

Tears
began to trickle down Belinda’s face. His last statement
clearly wasn’t phrased in the best possible way.

“That’s
not what I meant. I mean, I’ve never
not
been able to clear my mind.” Landon began tucking his shirt
back into his slacks as he struggled with the right words. “Ugh.
This is all coming out wrong.” When his shirt was in place, he
began running his hand through his hair. “Look, I met someone
and I can’t stop thinking about her. It has nothing to do with
you. Please don’t think less of yourself because I’m
messed up. It’s the real reason why I wasn’t taking work.
This girl, she’s haunting me and I can’t seem to break
free from whatever spell she’s put on me.”

Belinda
sniffled as she turned her eyes back to his.

“I
wish I’d met you under different circumstances. I wish I could
be what you need right now, but I can’t.” Landon watched
as Belinda swiped at the few tears that were stranded on her cheeks.
He reached in his pocket and removed enough money to cover what
Belinda had paid. “I’m really sorry, Belinda. You’re
a wonderful woman and I’m sorry your husband couldn’t
realize it.”

Belinda
sniffled again. She took the money, but removed a hundred-dollar bill
from the pile. “Here.” When Landon refused she insisted,
“For your time.”

Landon
shook his head. “No. It’s not necessary. I should have
never taken this job. I should have never put you through this. I
sincerely apologize.” He neared Belinda just enough to stroke
her cheek. “I’ll pay for the room, too. This is all my
fault and I want to at least do that much for you. And please don’t
argue. I won’t take no for an answer.”

Belinda
nodded as she gathered her things from the table. “Thank you
for your honesty, even if it isn’t what I wanted to hear. I
hope you figure out whatever is going on up here.” She tapped
his temple and left the room.

Landon
watched her go then slowly leaned head first into the door. “Damn
it, Talia. You’re ruining my life.” He turned and slid
down the door, his knees bent in front of him. He wasn’t
supposed to get attached to a woman for any reason or feel loyalty to
her. He had a job to do and she was getting in the way of that. He
was bewildered. He had no idea what to do, but he knew there was only
one person he could turn to, the one person who could be brutally
honest with him while still supporting his wishes. He just hoped his
brother was awake.

The
light of a single lamp glowed through the living room window of
Dawson’s home. Landon listened for noise from inside, trying to
gauge if anyone was awake. The faint sound of the television played
from somewhere within so Landon knocked lightly, not wanting to wake
Dawson's children, who were most likely fast asleep. He immediately
heard faint voices reverberating through the door. Moments later, his
brother cracked the door open wearing only pajama bottoms with his
hair in all directions and his eyes heavy lidded.

“Landon?”
Dawson pulled the door wide and ushered Landon in. “Is
everything okay? Did something happen to Dad?”

Landon
should have known that Dawson would suspect the worst when he showed
up this late. His brother was an early riser so Landon was slightly
surprised to find him still up, but he needed his brother’s
honest and unbiased advice. “Dad’s fine. I just...”
Landon stepped inside the door to get out of the chill and waited for
his brother to close it behind him. “I need your advice.”
He blurted out the words.

“Are
you in trouble?” Dawson led Landon to the living room, where
his wife was wrapped in a satin robe on the couch.

“Hi,
Mya. Sorry for coming by so late.”

Mya
pulled her robe tighter around her, smiling softly as she approached
her husband. “I think I’ll turn in and let you two talk.”
She kissed Dawson and then moved to Landon to kiss him on the cheek.
“Good night, Landon.”

“Good
night.” Landon waited for Mya to make her way to the bedroom.
When he heard the door latch, he searched for the words to explain to
his brother what was on his mind. He took a seat on the couch and
leaned his elbows on his knees before he began. “I think I
messed up big. I had a job tonight and I couldn’t seal the
deal.”

“Is
it impotence?” Dawson snickered lightly. “Have you
actually met your limit?”

“No,
God no. It’s not like that. It’s … well…”
Landon ran his hands through his hair and shot off the couch. He
wandered to the fireplace mantle, turned to lean against it, and
began again. “I’m not sure how I feel about my job
anymore.”

“What
brought this on?” Dawson couldn’t hide the shock on his
face.

“I
don’t know. Everything sort of change after this job I had a
few weeks ago. It was this girl, this woman.” He paused,
envisioning her photo lying on the table in front of him. “Her
friends hired me, because she’d been riding them real hard at
work and they thought maybe if she got laid she’d lighten up.”
Landon saw the look his brother gave him. He knew Dawson hated when
he talked about women so lewdly. He barely tolerated his job, but he
was the younger brother and Dawson would never turn his back on
family. It wasn’t even that Landon felt that way about women,
it was just a persona he felt like he had to play with the guys and
it always tended to slip out around his brother. “She wouldn’t
even give me the time of day, but there was something about her.
Maybe it was the fact that she turned me down, you know, the thrill
of the hunt and all, but there is just something about her. I can’t
get her out of my head. And now I’m giving up jobs and walking
away from women because she’s always on my mind. It’s
insane.”

“What’s
insane about the fact that you are attracted to this woman? Maybe if
you get to know her, you’ll really grow to like her. You might
decide you want a different path for your life.”

“That’s
just it. I couldn’t leave her alone so I got her to go out with
me. It was amazing. She may be a hard ass, but there’s
something there underneath. She has this amazing soul. She’s
not naïve and ignorant, because she knows the stakes and she
doesn’t want to dick around.” Landon saw that look on
Dawson’s face again. He was the ever-vigilant teacher and
father.

“Sounds
like you like her, so what’s your question?”

“No,
no, no. I don’t like her. I mean, she’s hot as hell, but
it’s nothing more than sexual attraction. I just don’t
know how I feel about my job in all of this. At least not until I
figure out how to get her in bed.”

“Landon,
seriously? You and I both know this isn’t just about sleeping
with her. I can tell that you see something in her.”

“No.
No way. You know I don’t do relationships. Relationships are
toxic. Just look at our dad. Look at what Gina did to him. He’s
not the man we used to know.”

“Do
you even hear what you are saying?
Relationships
are toxic,
”
Dawson mocked Landon. “I’ve been with Mya for twenty
amazing years; we have three beautiful children together. There is
nothing toxic about our relationship. And as for Dad, well, he
brought that on himself jumping into marriage with a woman half his
age.”

Landon
rolled his eyes and started pacing.

“I’m
not saying you have to marry the girl, but at least allow yourself
the opportunity to really get to know her and see if she could
possibly change your life, but honestly, bro, I think she already
has.”

Landon
mulled over his brother’s last statement. Was he changing
because of her? Was his attachment really something more than just
sexual attraction? Landon had no idea how he could ever be sure, but
he respected his brother’s advice and knew he had to make a
decision. “Thanks, Dawson. You’re the only guy I can talk
to about this.”

“I
guess it’s a good thing I’m your brother then.”

Landon
chuckled and began heading toward the door. “I ought to go. I
know you need your beauty rest.”

Dawson
rose to Landon’s side and slapped him on the back. “Get
out of here.” He laughed, escorting him to the door with his
arm around his shoulders.

At
the door, Landon hugged Dawson and told him good night. He had plenty
to think about, things he never imagined would cross his mind.

“Where’s
Talia?” Camey walked into the shop fifteen minutes late. She
hoped Talia’s glowing mood would still be intact, because she
wasn’t up for getting chewed out as soon as she walked in the
door.

“Talia
hasn’t come down yet.” Sara placed hydrangeas,
ranunculus, and cornflowers strategically in a bridal bouquet
mock-up. She was obviously very focused on the task in front of her.

“Well,
has anyone gone to check on her?” Camey tried to listen for
sounds above the shop as she questioned Sara.

“Reina
texted her earlier, but we’ve been busy working on getting
orders ready ever since.”

Camey
huffed. “Seriously? What if something happened to her?”
She turned on her heel and marched up Talia’s stairs. She
didn’t waste any time knocking, instead withdrawing her key to
unlock the door then barging right in. The apartment was quiet; there
were no lights on in any of the rooms. “Talia? Are you up
here?” The sound of faint movement came from Talia’s
room, sending Camey in that direction. She found Talia wrapping a
plush robe around her, stumbling from the bed. “Are you okay?”