Life Cycle (17 page)

Cain’s face was serious now. “Jack kills his kind,
for power, and ultimately to control everything in the human
dimension if we can’t destroy him. I kill my dinner. Being at the
top of the food chain doesn’t make me evil. And you know that.
You’re two thousand, Tam. So get over this self-loathing. It
doesn’t suit you.”

“What about Anna? She wasn’t dinner,” Tam said, not
willing to concede the point just yet, even though she knew he was
right. Two thousand or not, she was still moderately human, and
right now Cain and Jack looked like two flavors of the same
guy.

“My brother had been imprisoned for half a century,
and your friend stubbornly refused to do the only thing to free
him. So yes, I took matters into my own hands. She put herself
between me and Luc. I’m also not claiming to be good. I’m saying,
I’m not Jack.”

“But you’re still playing with me. You don’t want a
relationship. You want to toy with me until you’re bored. So you’re
still an asshole.” Where had that come from? She didn’t want a
relationship with a demon so what difference did it make if he did?
Weren’t they both using each other?

He smirked. “Now
that
I’ll admit
to.”
He started to pull the shirt over her
head, but she stopped him.

“I can’t.” She didn’t want to think about the fact
that she still wanted to. Obnoxious or not, there was something
about him beneath the surface. Maybe it wasn’t real and it was the
same bullshit lies women had told themselves about the wrong kind
of guy for ages, but she desperately wanted to believe there was
something more to him than what he was showing her.

“Because you might beg me or because you’ll hate
yourself tomorrow?”

She rolled her eyes at his ego. “Neither. I need to
do some big magic, and if you drain my energy it won’t be possible.
Jack is closing in. We don’t have time for whatever this thing is
we’re doing. I need my books and tools.”

“Okay, let’s go get them.”

“What? That’s it? You’re not going to fight me on
the books and tools thing?”

He didn’t answer, he just stood and helped her get up
out of the pile of pillows and blankets. How he ever found the
strength of will to get up out of that much comfort, she didn’t
know. If she were a demon, she’d be tempted to just lie around and
starve, or order carryout.

Cain wasn’t wearing a stitch of
clothing. As he turned toward the entrance of the tent, she got a
great view of his ass. It wasn’t even the
pretty form
he used to catch prey.
Having just gotten up, he hadn’t bothered with the glamour. Even
without enhancements, he looked like he’d worked out endlessly,
which probably wasn’t far off the mark. In his brief time as a
human, he’d been a farmer—if the stories were true. It was hard to
have that job and not look like you’d been chiseled out of marble,
especially back then.

“Aren’t you going to put some clothes on?” she
asked, trying not to sound like a fangirl.

He turned and arched a brow. “There isn’t a being in
this dimension who hasn’t seen me naked at least once. It’s an
occupational hazard. Why? Would it make you more comfortable if I
put some clothes on?”

“Yes.”

“All the more reason not to,” he said with a
wink.

She wished she could say she was
playing reverse psychology with him and just wanted to scope out
his ass and muscular back on the trip to the caves. So much for
being ancient and not behaving like a schoolgirl. Though he
did
have six thousand
years on her.

As they walked, he held her hand like she didn’t know
where the caves were. Suddenly she was thirteen again—not one of
the cycles, the real thirteen—holding a boy’s hand for the first
time. The memory fluttered up from the abyss of her consciousness.
It was hard to believe it was there under all the other layers from
the past.

She barely breathed. Why was holding hands with Cain
such a big deal? They’d slept together like a couple of
nymphomaniac rabbits—way past the hand-holding stage. Such a simple
act shouldn’t create that flutter in her stomach. She should pull
away. He should pull away, but his warm hand stayed solidly in hers
as they made their way to the caves. Was it wrong that it felt
natural? Strip away the demon and witch thing and weren’t they just
two people having an affair? Kind of strange motives all around,
but still. She was attracted to him, even when he wasn’t using the
demon thrall or glamour and her shields were up. Did he find her
attractive in the same way? She’d never thought about it, and felt
silly for thinking about it now.

It wasn’t until the shock and weirdness of the moment
had worn off that Tam felt the metal around his finger. As they
moved down the cobblestone streets between torches, she turned his
hand to see the ring with the runic markings. She stopped, pulling
him back with her.

“What?” The demon seemed puzzled they’d stopped
moving.

“Nice jewelry,” Tam said.

If a demon could blush, or show any signs of guilt,
Cain was doing it right now, though it was hard to tell for sure
with the low lighting of the demon dimension. He pulled his hand
away, and she couldn’t decide if she was disappointed.

“A friend gave it to me.”

“Mmm-hmmm,” Tam said, not buying it. “I wasn’t born
yesterday. Someone did a spell for you. I can feel the magic on it.
Was it to protect you from me? I’m flattered you find me that
threatening.”

He growled. “So I should trust the witch I’m toying
with not to turn the tables and hex me for it?”

“So you admit it openly. You’re toying with me.”

“I’ve admitted it openly from day one, and yet
you’ve been spreading your legs. So much for age making you
smarter.”

She laughed. “I really don’t think you’re in a
position to judge me.” She refused to let his words hurt her. It
was all part of how he played. She knew what she’d signed on for
when she’d made the bargain with him. Of course, she’d thought
she’d be dead by now. At this point, did she really think he’d kill
her? If not, why was she still sleeping with him?

Tam hadn’t been awake long enough to contemplate
these deep thoughts, so she put them on the shelf where she kept
all other unpleasantness, like why she couldn’t be in love somebody
like Henry.

“So,” she said, willing herself not to be
distracted, “what did you use to bind the spell?”

He’d already turned and started walking away from her
in all his naked glory toward the caves. He tossed an answer over
his shoulder. “That lovely scrap of black lace you had covering
your ass the last time you seduced me.”

Okay. That was it. A ball of energy
glowed in her hand. He should have expected it by now, but he
hadn’t go
ne noncorporeal.
Th
e ball hit squarely in the center of his
back. Tam heard the sizzle as it scorched his skin.

He rounded on her and roared as he shifted into the
demon form, horns popping out, fangs descending, eyes glowing. “I’m
not your punching bag. I should suck the life out of you for
that.”

Tam didn’t flinch. “Out here in the
middle of the desert? In that form? Kinky.” How many ways could an
incubus suck the life out of you? Those had been his words.
Not
snap your neck
or
rip out your
heart
...
suck the
life out
.

“You’d probably like it, you little freak.”

She shrugged. “Hey, I’m old. Same as you. We get
creative and experimental the more time passes.” The truth was, she
wasn’t put off by his demon form. Cain was Cain to her. For better
or worse.

The demon smirked, erasing much of the sinister look
and irritation, even though the swirl of dark, black emotions
pressed in on her. She wouldn’t back down or show fear. Not to
him.

She didn’t know why she was pushing so hard. Did she
still really want to die? If they could get to Jack and stop him
first? The death wish was beginning to fade, but it wasn’t that
she’d suddenly found a new reason to live, it was that the demon
was right. She wasn’t going to say she was falling for him—that
would be an admission worthy of psychiatric care, but she did enjoy
their time together, even the fighting because fighting made her
feel like maybe there was still something in life worth fighting
for. It reminded her she wasn’t dead yet. If she could still work
up an energy ball or angry words, there was something there that
wasn’t completely lost.

She shook herself out of the pattern of thoughts she
still didn’t want to address. “You can’t just take my stuff for
magic, especially not my underwear. It’s tacky.”

“You left them in my cave. It’s not as if I rooted
through your bags.”

Tam trudged along behind him, keeping a safe distance
so she couldn’t feel the emotions the demon form brought with it.
He couldn’t help that those things existed in that form. Did he
feel them as much as she did? Did he draw strength from it or did
it weigh him down? How could anybody, good or evil, carry that
around with them all the time, just under the surface? Where did it
all go when he was in the handsome form and she couldn’t feel it?
Did he keep it all bottled inside?

In spite of herself, and everything else, the tiniest
seed of sympathy for the devil sprouted within her. And she knew it
would be her downfall.

Chapter Ten

By the time they reached the caves, Cain had shifted
back into the pretty form. Even with his back to her, she knew
which form it was. He was a little bigger and a little more
intimidating in this form than his original human look. And just
like the demon form gave off a form of dark energy few could
withstand, this form gave off a sexual energy, more subtle, but
still intoxicating.

“Does it take a lot of work to maintain that
form?”

He created a fireball to light the torches, then
turned to her, his face smooth of all lines and scars. “Not at my
age.”

“Then why do you shed it sometimes, like when you
sleep?” She stood just inches from him, trying to avoid the
temptation to discard her own clothing; she needed to stay focused
on her goal.

He reached out and stroked her cheek. She didn’t
breathe, afraid if she did, she’d break this uncommon moment that
felt like tenderness and honesty between them. She’d berate herself
for her sanity slippage later.

Although they were isolated in the caves, his voice
was low, as if he were sharing a secret he didn’t want the walls to
hear. “Sometimes it’s good to let everything go.”

“Then why did you put the glamour back up just now?”
She’d seen his original human form. They were in the middle of
nowhere. There was no one to impress and no food for him to hunt
out here. And if he wanted her, they both knew at this point that
the form wasn’t a barrier for her. She probably would have slept
with him in the demon form out in the desert, a point she didn’t
want to dwell on. It would mean she was starting to feel for the
person underneath it all, not just the pretty fantasy.

He shrugged. “Force of habit.”

“So let go,” she said.

His face tensed, and for a moment she thought she’d
pushed too far, but then he sighed and dropped the glamour. Tam
reached out and traced the mark on his forehead. A moment of
stillness passed between them. With other people in another
situation, it would have been the part where the epic orchestral
music played, where the couple looked deeply into each other’s eyes
with the devotion of true love and shared a passionate,
angst-filled kiss. But they weren’t those people, and the only
music Tam could hear was the flickering of the torchlight. Cain
pulled away abruptly and went down one of the dark corridors.

He didn’t make an arrogant remark or taunt her like
he normally did. He was so eerily quiet, she almost wished he’d say
something awful just to break up the discomfort of his silence.

“I can’t see back here,” she said, as she followed
him. She assumed they were going to get her stuff, but a part of
her thought maybe he just wanted to get away from her.

“You could use one of your energy balls.”

She’d thought about it, but was afraid he’d take it
as a threat. And she wasn’t in the mood for another fight right
now. “I don’t think it would be bright enough.” Which was also
true.

Cain created a fireball to illuminate the corridor
and they kept walking. He reached the pod with her stuff in it and
placed a hand over the egg-shaped door. It glowed for a moment,
then opened with a groan of rock against rock. He slung a few of
the bags over his shoulder and gave the rest to Tam.

They were in the main part of the cave when he spoke
again. “You said you had to do big magic. What kind of magic?”

He was pretty confident about that ring, if he was
just asking now.

“I need to contact Henry.”

“Henry?”

Was that jealousy in his voice? Ridiculous. Cain
wasn’t the type. But it seemed like something similar—some emotion
too nuanced to put her finger on.

“Henry was a dear friend of mine for a couple of
centuries.”

“And why are we contacting him?” There was that
weird pseudo-jealousy thing again. She had to be reading things
that weren’t there.

“He was a raven therian and my familiar. I lost him
a few years ago. He’s on the other side. Since Jack formed a
connection with me in the dream, I can’t find him, but maybe Henry
can. So to answer your question, I need to do a séance.”

“Don’t you need more than one person for that?”

And now he was being somewhat considerate and
helpful. It was almost unnerving. It was as if he’d been possessed
by somebody civilized.